Survivorfest week 4!
Russell was none too pleased to hit Redemption Island and find Matt waiting for him instead of Francesca. I think he might have just been uncomfortable with all of the praying.
Phillip is still loony. On today's show he kept himself busy by sweeping the dirt around camp at the crack of dawn. I'm starting to wonder if CBS hit up a few mental institutions in their search for "engaging characters". Stay tuned for next season when they turn up the dial from "harmful only to himself" to "should not be allowed access to sharp implements at any time".
Does anyone else watch Russell and his two women slaves and think of Charlie Manson? I think Sarita's grandmother might have been Squeaky Fromme.
With Russell doing hard time on the Island, the two Russell-ettes realized they were on the outs with the rest of their tribe and declared that they needed to find an immunity idol to stay in the game. They then went sunbathing.
In the meantime Ralph fessed up to his alliance that he had found the hidden idol Russell Hantz-style. And like a true Russell, he just couldn't keep it to hisself.
The Redemption Island challenge started and Matt went head to head with Russell. A true good versus evil match-up if there ever was one.
Despite a false start with his challenge Matt went on to beat Russell and send him home. I'm not sure what disturbs me more...seeing the ultra-disruptive Russell go home so early in the game or watching him weep like a small child. Seriously. It was like going to hell and finding out Satan has a Precious Moments collection or something.
Not to be untrue to his nature, Russell went down bitching. He called out everyone in his tribe for throwing the challenge just to get rid of him and mis-playing the game.
Ralph fessed up to finding the idol and started to pull it out of his bag to show it as proof until Russell reminded him how stupid he was being. Ralph then claimed he was just foolin'. Too late, Ralph. Maybe it's best that Russell is gone. I think he might have Ralph's number.
Phillip, not to be outdone, declared that his super secret government skills detected that Ralph was fibbing. He made sure to let Probst know in case he missed it.
Back the the other camp, Boston Rob faked intestinal distress while the tribe was playing games and went back to find the hidden immunity idol. I think at this point maybe CBS should quit giving out clues to these things and should just start hiding a handful like Easter eggs. I don't think people really need them any more. Ralph found his with no clues. Russell in the past few seasons found about ten. Boston Rob found one that had a clue something like "it's hidden in the jungle somewhere."
Phillip came back to camp with a plan to use what he learned as leverage to keep Christine in the game so that there would be at least one weaker link than him. Four seconds after he saw Rob he blabbed everything including his last secret government mission, his high school locker combination and his mother's social security number. I think that, under torture, he might be able to come up with secrets that he doesn't actually even know!
Phillip has become such a cartoon character that I firmly believe that CBS has taken Rob aside and had the following conversation:
CBS guy: Hey, Rob! Great game so far, buddy!
BR: Um. Hey, what's up? Should you be heah talkin' ta me?"
CBS guy: "Oh, sure. We've arranged for a tropical storm to keep the rest of your tribe over on the other side of the bay. Plus you told them to stay."
BR: "Yeah, dey do dat pretty good."
CBS guy: "So the network was hoping that you could...y'know...keep old Phillip around for a while. His crazy antics are great for ratings."
BR: "Ah you kiddin' me?!? He actually started humpin' my leg while I slept las' night!"
CBS guy: "No, yeah, we get it...we were concerned something like this might happen when he quit taking his medication..."
BR: ""Say what...?"
CBS guy: "No, it's fine. As long as no one actually makes eye contact or tries to take food from him, everything will be okay. Wait, you haven't seen any dogs on the island, have you?"
BR: "Dogs? Naw, no dogs..."
CBS guy: "Whew! Good! We can't afford to staff our PETA complaint line after last season. So anyway, we'd reallllllly appreciate it if you could...you know...kinda not vote Phillip off. At least for a while."
BR: "The dude is whacko, man! Dere is nothin' dat you can say that would make me wanna keep him around five more seconds!"
CBS guy: "How about if you replace Jeff Probst in two seasons. We're pretty sure he's going to make a run as a Republican presidential candidate."
BR: "I would love to keep my man Phillip around. You have no ideah how nice and clean the camp flooh has been dis past week!
Or something to that effect.
At the challenge Ometepe went on to prove that there was life without Russell by winning the immunity challenge.
Phillip gave his traditional post-loss pep talk. Everyone loves those.
The votes went in and Christine was sent to Redemption Island. That's at least two more week of Crazy Phillip, folks!
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Russell was none too pleased to hit Redemption Island and find Matt waiting for him instead of Francesca. I think he might have just been uncomfortable with all of the praying.
Phillip is still loony. On today's show he kept himself busy by sweeping the dirt around camp at the crack of dawn. I'm starting to wonder if CBS hit up a few mental institutions in their search for "engaging characters". Stay tuned for next season when they turn up the dial from "harmful only to himself" to "should not be allowed access to sharp implements at any time".
Does anyone else watch Russell and his two women slaves and think of Charlie Manson? I think Sarita's grandmother might have been Squeaky Fromme.
With Russell doing hard time on the Island, the two Russell-ettes realized they were on the outs with the rest of their tribe and declared that they needed to find an immunity idol to stay in the game. They then went sunbathing.
In the meantime Ralph fessed up to his alliance that he had found the hidden idol Russell Hantz-style. And like a true Russell, he just couldn't keep it to hisself.
The Redemption Island challenge started and Matt went head to head with Russell. A true good versus evil match-up if there ever was one.
Despite a false start with his challenge Matt went on to beat Russell and send him home. I'm not sure what disturbs me more...seeing the ultra-disruptive Russell go home so early in the game or watching him weep like a small child. Seriously. It was like going to hell and finding out Satan has a Precious Moments collection or something.
Not to be untrue to his nature, Russell went down bitching. He called out everyone in his tribe for throwing the challenge just to get rid of him and mis-playing the game.
Ralph fessed up to finding the idol and started to pull it out of his bag to show it as proof until Russell reminded him how stupid he was being. Ralph then claimed he was just foolin'. Too late, Ralph. Maybe it's best that Russell is gone. I think he might have Ralph's number.
Phillip, not to be outdone, declared that his super secret government skills detected that Ralph was fibbing. He made sure to let Probst know in case he missed it.
Back the the other camp, Boston Rob faked intestinal distress while the tribe was playing games and went back to find the hidden immunity idol. I think at this point maybe CBS should quit giving out clues to these things and should just start hiding a handful like Easter eggs. I don't think people really need them any more. Ralph found his with no clues. Russell in the past few seasons found about ten. Boston Rob found one that had a clue something like "it's hidden in the jungle somewhere."
Phillip came back to camp with a plan to use what he learned as leverage to keep Christine in the game so that there would be at least one weaker link than him. Four seconds after he saw Rob he blabbed everything including his last secret government mission, his high school locker combination and his mother's social security number. I think that, under torture, he might be able to come up with secrets that he doesn't actually even know!
Phillip has become such a cartoon character that I firmly believe that CBS has taken Rob aside and had the following conversation:
CBS guy: Hey, Rob! Great game so far, buddy!
BR: Um. Hey, what's up? Should you be heah talkin' ta me?"
CBS guy: "Oh, sure. We've arranged for a tropical storm to keep the rest of your tribe over on the other side of the bay. Plus you told them to stay."
BR: "Yeah, dey do dat pretty good."
CBS guy: "So the network was hoping that you could...y'know...keep old Phillip around for a while. His crazy antics are great for ratings."
BR: "Ah you kiddin' me?!? He actually started humpin' my leg while I slept las' night!"
CBS guy: "No, yeah, we get it...we were concerned something like this might happen when he quit taking his medication..."
BR: ""Say what...?"
CBS guy: "No, it's fine. As long as no one actually makes eye contact or tries to take food from him, everything will be okay. Wait, you haven't seen any dogs on the island, have you?"
BR: "Dogs? Naw, no dogs..."
CBS guy: "Whew! Good! We can't afford to staff our PETA complaint line after last season. So anyway, we'd reallllllly appreciate it if you could...you know...kinda not vote Phillip off. At least for a while."
BR: "The dude is whacko, man! Dere is nothin' dat you can say that would make me wanna keep him around five more seconds!"
CBS guy: "How about if you replace Jeff Probst in two seasons. We're pretty sure he's going to make a run as a Republican presidential candidate."
BR: "I would love to keep my man Phillip around. You have no ideah how nice and clean the camp flooh has been dis past week!
Or something to that effect.
At the challenge Ometepe went on to prove that there was life without Russell by winning the immunity challenge.
Phillip gave his traditional post-loss pep talk. Everyone loves those.
The votes went in and Christine was sent to Redemption Island. That's at least two more week of Crazy Phillip, folks!
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
No comments:
Post a Comment