Survivorfest8 week 6!

Krista versus Matt on Redemption Island!

The challenge was a bit...sucky?  Grappling hook to pull back three bags to collect one ball to run through a table maze?  Pretty lame.  Krista gave Matt a run for his money, however.  For a while it almost looked like Matt was trying to throw the game.

Back at camp, Natalie and Ashley engaged in some Survivor grooming in the form of armpit hair plucking.  It's the seedier side of Survivor camp life you just don't hear much about.

Sarita seems to have a gum infection from jabbing herself with a dirty stick while trying to clean her teeth.  Man, where do I sign up for this show!?!

Phillip is back off the meds for this week's show.  He's ready for a throw down, drag out fight with Ashley over camp duties and why they won't pluck his armpit hair. 

Ashley's starting to come across as someone who can't hide it when she gets irritated at someone, which might not bode well for her long term status.

Tribe Rob really kicked the snot out of tribe former-Russell, didn't they?  Grant abused Mike like a rented mule. 

Ralph was a big help "Throw it ta meeeeeeeee!"

Dave even more so:  "You guys gotta catch it!!!"

Grant found another idol clue at the reward picnic and was studying it with Rob when Phillip busted them.  Phillip immediately dubbed the three a secret alliance and gave them all special code names.  I couldn't even make stuff like this up.  If they don't bring Crazy Phillip back for another season I'll be really disappointed.

How about an All-Crazy Survivor?  What are your favorites?  Mine would be Phillip and Coach.  The two of them together would be over the top!

Dave is starting to sound like a real ass hat at the other camp.  I find him conceited and obnoxious and I only listen to him for a few minutes a week.

They're all tired of losing, tired of Sarita complaining and tired of having Stephanie around.  Mostly tired of Stephanie as it turns out, and they voted her off.  She'll run into the Matt buzz-saw at the beginning of next week's episode. I double dog dare someone to pick her for their weekly survivor kicker!

See you next week on....Survivorfest!

Survivorfest week 5!

Survivorfest week 5!

Matt and Kristina squared off on Redemption Island.  The challenge was a cube puzzle.  I swear I'd never last two minutes in Survivor the way the last few seasons have been.  Nothing but puzzles, puzzles and more puzzles.  What happened to challenges that involved swimming relays, feats of strength and women's mud wrestling?

The most entertaining part was Matt's dialogue with the observing Boston Rob while he was absolutely laying out Kristina.  I think Rob's pretty smart and he is at least a little worried about what will happen if Matt makes his way back into camp.

Turns out that Kristina sucks at puzzles, too.  Out goes the third person this season.

I like how Probst tries to keep the contestants all jazzed up:  "The winner gets to continue to fight for a chance to win a million dollars..."  I just wish he would have added:  "The loser has to spend the next three weeks hanging out with Russell at the Survivor Cabana for Early Season Losers!"

Is it just me or does it seem like someone has started to slip Phillip his medication?  He seems almost normal compared to where he was at mentally the past two episodes.  How disappointing.  He only pranced around in his plum-colored undies spear-hunting crabs a little.

It was a cold night and the tribe had to huddle together for warmth which led to this interesting exchange.

Rob:  "That dahn Phillip slept with his knee jammed inta my back awl night!"

Grant:  Um.  Dude...that wasn't his knee."

The challenge was a somewhat familiar one...a caller led his/her blindfolded tribe through a maze to collect bags of, you guessed it, puzzle pieces.  The caller then had to solve the puzzle.

Boston Rob called and solved the puzzle for his tribe, Stephanie for hers.  Turns out Stephanie is none too good at word puzzles.  I guess they didn't practice that much at Manson Manor.  Didn't want to skip mad stabbing 101, no doubt.

Boston Rob seems to have really improved his game.  He completely owns his tribe, has a hidden immunity idol and practically owns the portions of the challenges he participates in.  It'll be interesting to see if he can see the blind side when it comes.

Back at camp Rob, Grant and Rob notice an idol clue hidden in the coffee.  Rob played it masterfully.  He managed to swap that clue with the first one he used to find the idol and even helped Glen hide it.

Back at camp Russell-no-More they blamed a fun game of blamestorming over the lost challenge.  They eventually concluded that Stephanie is an idiot.  Dave concluded that from that point on, he would be responsible for all puzzles.  PERIOD!  I can't wait to see how this explodes into tragedy.

I'm telling you that weeks of hunger take their toll and make people who they truly are...Dave is going to turn into a real ass very, very soon.

Anyone else find themselves wondering if Julie could hide an immunity idol in her dimples?  There's an Internet rumor going around that Johnny Fairplay will spring out of one of them just in time for the merge.

Tribal council was pretty lame.  The only mystery was which of Russell's coven would end up getting smacked down by Matt on Redemption Island the next morning.  Strangely it ended up being Krista.

See you next week on...Survivorfest!

Survivorfest week 4!

Survivorfest week 4!

Russell was none too pleased to hit Redemption Island and find Matt waiting for him instead of Francesca.  I think he might have just been uncomfortable with all of the praying.

Phillip is still loony.  On today's show he kept himself busy by sweeping the dirt around camp at the crack of dawn.  I'm starting to wonder if CBS hit up a few mental institutions in their search for "engaging characters".  Stay tuned for next season when they turn up the dial from "harmful only to himself" to "should not be allowed access to sharp implements at any time".

Does anyone else watch Russell and his two women slaves and think of Charlie Manson?  I think Sarita's grandmother might have been Squeaky Fromme.

With Russell doing hard time on the Island, the two Russell-ettes realized they were on the outs with the rest of their tribe and declared that they needed to find an immunity idol to stay in the game.  They then went sunbathing.

In the meantime Ralph fessed up to his alliance that he had found the hidden idol Russell Hantz-style.  And like a true Russell, he just couldn't keep it to hisself.

The Redemption Island challenge started and Matt went head to head with Russell.  A true good versus evil match-up if there ever was one.

Despite a false start with his challenge Matt went on to beat Russell and send him home.  I'm not sure what disturbs me more...seeing the ultra-disruptive Russell go home so early in the game or watching him weep like a small child.  Seriously.  It was like going to hell and finding out Satan has a Precious Moments collection or something.

Not to be untrue to his nature, Russell went down bitching.  He called out everyone in his tribe for throwing the challenge just to get rid of him and mis-playing the game.

Ralph fessed up to finding the idol and started to pull it out of his bag to show it as proof until Russell reminded him how stupid he was being.  Ralph then claimed he was just foolin'.  Too late, Ralph.  Maybe it's best that Russell is gone.  I think he might have Ralph's number.

Phillip, not to be outdone, declared that his super secret government skills detected that Ralph was fibbing.  He made sure to let Probst know in case he missed it.

Back the the other camp, Boston Rob faked intestinal distress while the tribe was playing games and went back to find the hidden immunity idol.  I think at this point maybe CBS should quit giving out clues to these things and should just start hiding a handful like Easter eggs.  I don't think people really need them any more.  Ralph found his with no clues.  Russell in the past few seasons found about ten.  Boston Rob found one that had a clue something like  "it's hidden in the jungle somewhere."

Phillip came back to camp with a plan to use what he learned as leverage to keep Christine in the game so that there would be at least one weaker link than him.  Four seconds after he saw Rob he blabbed everything including his last secret government mission, his high school locker combination and his mother's social security number.  I think that, under torture, he might be able to come up with secrets that he doesn't actually even know!

Phillip has become such a cartoon character that I firmly believe that CBS has taken Rob aside and had the following conversation:

CBS guy:  Hey, Rob!  Great game so far, buddy!

BR:  Um.  Hey, what's up?  Should you be heah talkin' ta me?"

CBS guy:  "Oh, sure.  We've arranged for a tropical storm to keep the rest of your tribe over on the other side of the bay.  Plus you told them to stay."

BR:  "Yeah, dey do dat pretty good."

CBS guy:  "So the network was hoping that you could...y'know...keep old Phillip around for a while.  His crazy antics are great for ratings."

BR:  "Ah you kiddin' me?!?  He actually started humpin' my leg while I slept las' night!"

CBS guy:  "No, yeah, we get it...we were concerned something like this might happen when he quit taking his medication..."

BR:  ""Say what...?"

CBS guy:  "No, it's fine.  As long as no one actually makes eye contact or tries to take food from him, everything will be okay.  Wait, you haven't seen any dogs on the island, have you?"

BR:  "Dogs?  Naw, no dogs..."

CBS guy:  "Whew!  Good!  We can't afford to staff our PETA complaint line after last season.  So anyway, we'd reallllllly appreciate it if you could...you know...kinda not vote Phillip off.  At least for a while."

BR:  "The dude is whacko, man!  Dere is nothin' dat you can say that would make me wanna keep him around five more seconds!"

CBS guy:  "How about if you replace Jeff Probst in two seasons.  We're pretty sure he's going to make a run as a Republican presidential candidate."

BR:  "I would love to keep my man Phillip around.  You have no ideah how nice and clean the camp flooh has been dis past week!

Or something to that effect.

At the challenge Ometepe went on to prove that there was life without Russell by winning the immunity challenge.

Phillip gave his traditional post-loss pep talk.  Everyone loves those.

The votes went in and Christine was sent to Redemption Island.  That's at least two more week of Crazy Phillip, folks!

See you next week on...Survivorfest!