Survivorfest week 8!

Alina's flame is snuffed!

This week's episode opened with the scene of a dead sea turtle getting picked apart by a flock of birds and a wild-eyed Naonka.

An only slightly less disturbing image of Fabio doing his tree mail dance soon followed.  "Uncle Fabio has some treeeeee mailllllllll!"  Add thirty years to him, put on some too-tight plaid trousers and a bad toupee and he would be the kind of uncle that you wouldn't leave your kids with.

Tree mail hints at a merge.  Alina started suggesting some strategies around the camp fire.  Almost immediately everyone's eyes glazed over.  It reminds me of when I lecture my kids about leaving the door to the garage open.

True to tree mail, today is the merge!  They dropped their buffs and donned new ones.

The traditional treasure chest was chock full of food, cooking supplies and, strangely, rum.

Fabio:  "We have to drink all this today!"  Yup.  Uncle Creepy in the basement with Jimmie playing "what would you do for a quarter?".

Marty suggested the name for the new tribe:  Libertad which is, of course, Spanish for "only well drinks are on special today."

Nay quickly began sneaking bits of food into her undergarments for a snack a little later.  At this point I'm hoping for a random gorilla attack.  She'd be like a noisy pinata...keep beating on her and little treats come out!

Brenda and Nay caught each other up on the latest gossip from both camps.  Even Nay can't believe that Marty was dumb enough to give Sash his idol.  And this from someone with bits of crackers stuffed in her drawers.

Chase and Jane decided they were cut from the same denim cloth.  Evidently both of them hail from North Carolina, both like animals (live or dead) and both of them talked like an extra from the Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo.

Marty saw this and was none too happy.  He weighed in with this Survivor Hall of Fame Quote:  "that good ol' boy crap spreads like cancer!"   Agreed.  Nothing dissolves team relations like infamous southern hospitality.  For an example look no further than the Civil War.  Case closed.

Nay became angry when she didn't get her share of something they were cooking so she felt entitled to start swiping more things from the food supply.  By the end of the day she had pilfered approximately 1 jar of flour, 2 pans and bowls, a working hibachi grill and Wolfgang Puck.  Unfortunately for her, Holly spotted her making off with Puck.

Evidently Nay had some pangs of guilt and assuaged them by telling Alina what she had done and sharing her ill-gotten food.

The fun came to an end when Fabio realized there was a bunch of stuff missing and called a family meeting.  After much wailing and moaning Holly decided it might be worth mentioning that she had seen Nay stuffing enough food into her bag to feed Kirstie Alley.  Sherlock Fabio put two and two together.

Naonka denied everything.  She admitted putting some things into her bag, but she, naturally, put them right back.  It was the putting-back that Holly had managed to miss.  She was so indignant about being accused that she refused to discuss the matter any farther and stalked off into the jungle with Wolfgang Puck trailing behind her.

Alina convinced her that it might be in her best interest to not assume that the rest of the tribe were complete morons, and she fessed up.  I found it amusing that she subtlety dragged Alina under the bus with her.

Marty was really angry with Nay.  I think if she had pulled this two weeks later when they were really hungry he might have actually gotten very Lord of the Flies with her.  But alas, cooler heads prevailed and the tribe all agreed to blame Alina.

Sash was pretty excited about the whole thing.  He realized that if Nay managed to stick it out until the final vote that no one would give her a million dollars.

He confided to her "You're my #1 girl here." to which she replied "ditto."  I'm not sure if she meant that she was her own #1 girl or if it was a Sash-slam.  Either way it's kind of funny.

Immunity challenge was an endurance challenge.  Each member would hold an iron rod with a metal holder that would have to have continuous outward pressure applied.  Last man and woman to drop their rods would win immunity.  Yes, I'm aware how deliciously naughty that last bit sounded.  Oh, behave!

The challenge commenced and Kelly and Dan were out almost instantly.  Really, Dan?  You're clearly a weight lifter, dude!  It's time to man up!

Brenda, Benry, Sash, NaOnka and Holly soon followed.  Jane won the challenge for the women.  She was having such a good time with it that she decided to stay with it to see if she could beat the men as well.  Personally I thought Probst should have made it interesting at that point and offered her up a car or a dream date with Russell Hantz if she could pull it off.

Marty dropped out, followed by Chase.  Fabio won for the men!  After he released his grip Jane finished her emasculation.

Individual immunity points for Jane and Fabio owners.

Back at camp Dan told Marty to be sure to wake him up to let him know who he was voting for this week.  How is this sad sack still in the game?

The tribe seemed split between getting rid of Marty or Alina.  It seemed like everyone was really leaning toward Alina until Marty got wind that he might be on the outs and made such an ass of himself trying to convince everyone that he should stay that they got really irritated with him.

At council Marty asked if he could have a few minutes to speak and then gave a dissertation on why he should stay and someone else, preferably Jane or Alina, should go.

He went on to complain about Jane and Chase and their snooty South Carolina ways ("that's North Carolina, you mo-ron!").

Marty upped the ante by claiming that if Jane made it to the final vote that he would vote for her.  Interesting strategy for getting rid of someone.

They discussed the food stealing.  NaOnka indicated that she felt forced into taking the food because no one would talk with her.  And how is this sociopath still in the game?

Benry called Alina a "100% Grade-A dirt squirrel".  What in the world did this girl do to these people that CBS didn't show us?  And what the hell is a dirt squirrel?

Google defines it as:

1. a female of questionable character 2. a female with a scandalous sexual past 3. a dirty dirty slut

The votes went in, and Alina went out.  She is now the first member of the jury.

Probst warned the remaining tribe that "deciding as a group won't work forever".  Wait a minute.  Doesn't he usually complain when they have mixed votes or someone gets blindsided?  Then he says something like "this is clearly a tribe in chaos".  Make up your mind, Probst!