Survivorfest - week 13

Rupert falls short again!

Fresh from tribal council where Danielle took the fall for her "close" relationship with Parvarti, Rupert is feeling renewed and optimistic about his chances.  He seems to think that if he can make it through to the final vote that the million dollars is his.

Parvarti and Jerri commiserated over Russell.  Seems to be the same story as last season...people bitching and bellyaching about Russell, but then ultimately deciding to ride it out, "see what happens" and continue to work with him.  I guess it worked out great for Natalie last season.

Russell, for his part, continued to try to spin lies that he had to get rid of Danielle because she was secretly planning to get rid of Parvarti.  No one's buying what you have to sell, Russ.

Tree mail came in the form of a Sprint product placement.  None too subtle, either.  It's amazing what people will do for money.  Ahem.

Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre

The players got to see videos of their loved ones using the wonder Sprint Palm Pre.  When Rupert's wife came on, my oldest shouted out "Rupert's got a wife like that?!?  That's amazing!"  I suspect she was imagining something like this.

The reward challenge was a Survivor plus loved one competition where the player would bring a bucket of water from the surf and toss it to their loved one's bucket.  They would then use that water to fill another bucket to lift a flag.

Reward was a flight to the Alofaaga Blowholes with a nice picnic of burgers and soda with loved ones.  Plus an opportunity to take the wonderful Sprint Palm Pre to record the trip.  Lucky!

Rupert was paired with his (evidently) lovely wife, Russell with his wife (last seen at last year's final show dressed like a biker-stripper), Colby had his brother (who also seemed like a frat boy goofball), Parvarti had her dad (who now has logged more Survivor time than many actual contestants), Jerri had her sister (the two of them together made the most annoying mewling noises) and Sandra had her favorite uncle (favorite, because he was there when her mother died.  No charges have been filed).

It's Rupert and his wife's anniversary!  I'm sure when she thought about the possibility of spending an anniversary on a tropical island, Survivor had not popped into her mind.

The challenge was fairly entertaining.  Colby almost immediately began fighting with his brother and blaming him for the water not falling into his pail.  His brother seemed to be laughing at him.  These guys must be a real riot at Thanksgiving.  I'm guessing they have an annual T-Day football game, full contact with at least two fights and one concussion per holiday.

Russell's wife, while adding to the water from the bucket, spit to add volume.  Now that's class.

Sandra yelled in Spanish for her uncle to cheat by stealing water from the people able to actually reach their partners.  He just laughed.  She must be a real joy at family events, too.  I'm thinking fistfights and stabbing over Parcheesi.

Jerri and her sister went on to win and made more loud mewling noises.

Jeff allowed Jerri to pick two pairs to accompany her to the blowholes.  She chose Parvarti and Sandra without much hesitation.  Russell was not amused.  He and his wife started whispering the horrible things they would do to Jerri and her sister during the finale show. I suspect those two are a real handful on "couples nights".

It was time for the loved ones to depart.  Rupert and his wife were in full-on make-out mode and Probst had to pry them apart with a crowbar and a fire hose.  I think she might have been trying to stow away in his beard.

At the blowholes, the group was greeted by a wizened old guy who looked a lot like Don Ho.  Only less dead.  He showed them the blowholes and entertained them by tossing coconuts into the holes to have them explode skyward.

Sandra:  "I'd be scared to go by that hole...what if I fall in?"  Don't worry, Sandra.  I don't think the ocean wants you either.

Parvarti:  "The best part of the trip was having the Sprint Palm Pre there so we could take all kinds of pictures!"  Oh, well played.  That's a shipment of twenty units to miss Parvarti's home.

The girls talked about how irritated Russell was to be excluded from the trip and made a pact that they wouldn't let him vote any of them out.

Russell, for his part, could barely contain his outrage that Jerri hadn't picked him.  This was based solely on strategy, of course.  It's not like he wanted a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to visit the Alofaaga Blowholes with Don Ho.

Back at camp, the remaining men decided to form their own alliance.  Perhaps it was time for Parvarti to go.

That night, when the women returned and everyone tried to sleep, Rupert decided it would be a good time to saw and break up firewood.  I think he was cranking some Death Metal on the stereo as well.  Needless to say, everyone was pretty irritated with him.  At least he wasn't selling their shoes or burning their socks.

Jerri and Russell had a little makeup party.  She confessed that the once-in-a-lifetime trip to the Alofaaga Blowholes compliments of Sprint Palm Pre was only "okay".

The Immunity Challenge was, unbelievably, another endurance challenge.  Seriously, what is the deal?  Can't we have some swimming, a race, a memory game...something besides watching these guys stand stock still for 20 minutes or more at a time?

Hang with me here...what about a Survivor Beauty Pageant?  Seriously, how much fun would it be to see Rupert stalking up and down the runway with a come-hither look in his eye during the bathing suit competition.  Would Russell try to "enhance"?  Seriously, dude, we know that's a pair of frickin' coconuts in there!  And then finding out during the talent portion if Sandra actually has any. Ah, well.  Maybe next season.

This challenge was to stand still with two poles placed on the back of outstretched hands.  The other ends of the poles would be pressed against a horizontal beam to keep them steady.  If your pole slips, you're out.

Colby dropped his poles almost immediately.  What a tool.  Did someone do an identity check on this idiot?

Years from now we'll find out that this look-a-like killed the real Colby Donaldson shortly after his appearance in Survivor:  All Stars and has been taking his place all along.  You heard it here first.

Sandra, to no one's surprise, was out shortly thereafter.

Russell was next, much to his consternation.

Jerri was holding steady when Probst said "Jerri...poles are dead center right where you want 'em to be...they haven't moved...ooops."  Nice jinx, Probst.

This left Parvarti and Rupert.  Ever the bridesmaid, Rupert soon lost his grip and was out of the competition.  Parvarti wins immunity!

Back at camp was the usual CBS fluff of trying to make us wonder who would be voted off that night.  They showed a (now) typical blowup between Russell and one of his alliance (Sandra) and lots of sneaking around and whispering.

At council, Sandra opted to play her immunity idol.  Mainly since this was the last day to play it.  She thought about not using it, but then came to the conclusion that it certainly couldn't hurt.

I didn't notice any discussion from Colby in the entire tribal council.  I wonder if he said anything at all.  He was probably still irritated with his brother.

Rupert called for a Villain to flip that evening.  It sounded a bit like barking into the wind.

The votes were read:  Colby and Rupert's votes went to Sandra and were wasted.  Everyone else voted Rupert, sending the psychedelic giant home.  He took a long moment to glare at Russell.

This Sunday is the Survivor Finale!  Who will make it to the final three?  Will Mike Bonham achieve the first ever Survivorfest sweep and pick the final four contestants?  Will anyone be able to think of anything nice to say about Candice during the obligatory run-through of the fallen contestants?

Find out next week on...Survivorfest!

Bonus for Dayton folks:  On Wednesday, 5/19, there will be a fund-raiser at Campionis for my oldest daughter's Destination Imagination team to support their travel to the Global Competition in Knoxville later this month.

10% of all proceeds, dine-in, carry-out, catering and even margaritas will go to the team.  Please support us in the form of wonderful pizza, awesome margaritas and even some raffles!  We'll have people there all day, 11 AM to 10 PM.  Hope to see you there!