Survivorfest - week 8!

Coach is blindsided as the Villains continue to disintegrate.

Fresh from the blindside of Boston Rob the Villains returned to camp, buoyed by the gloating Russell.  I think we have a new Dragonslayer, folks.

Coach wasn't too happy:  "Russell is a bully!"

Gerri seemed to regret getting rid of Rob.  Coach, who didn't want to get rid of him at all was none too pleased to hear that she had regrets about fifteen minutes after she ousted him.  Gerri seems to be floating through this game without a clue of what she's doing or why she's doing it.  I can't see her making it to the final three.

Coach wondered aloud whether he should be making a play to get rid of Russell.  Gerri wanted to "wait and see."  See what I mean?

At Hero camp JT found himself kind of sort of looking for the idol using the clue the group got at reward challenge.

He managed to find it and was beginning to figure out where he should hide it when Amanda found him.  Then along came Candace.  JT figured the jig was up so he brought it back to camp.  Hidden idol points for JT!

Amanda and Candace weren't fooled.  They knew they busted him.

Candace:  "JT is the slimiest guy out here."

Evidently the big meal on the island is hermit crab.  I don't recall seeing "edible" listed as a feature for those at the pet store.  Of course they don't list that for puppies, but I suspect they're tasty, too.

The tribes met for the next challenge. Probst announced that Boston Rob had been voted off at the last tribal council.  He asked Rupert what his reaction was to that.  Rupert indicated that he thought that an all-women alliance was working its way through the Villain tribe.

JT mouthed to Russell "hang in there!"  You could just see the wheels turning in Russell's head.

The Villains assumed that the merge was about to happen so they dragged all their tools and gear along with them.  The Heroes had not made the assumption.

Russell hinted that they were smarter for making that leap and being prepared.

Turned out the merge was not taking place after all.  The feast of pizza and soda would go to the winner of the reward challenge, which was a Survivor bowling match.

The Villains had to sit two people.  Coach stepped up to lead the decision:  "I want to win this feast!"  They argued briefly that, since Courtney and Sandra would have to sit out the immunity challenge if they skipped the reward challenge, they should participate in this one.  No one else stepped up to make the call.  Coach, adding that Parv and Danielle had indicated they were good bowlers, had Sandra and Courtney sit.

The first pair to play was Parvarti and Rupert.  Parv threw up two gutters.  Rupert won with his first toss.  Heroes up 1-0.

JT versus Danielle:  Danielle also tossed two gutters.  JT did well with a six on his first throw.  Heroes up 2-0.  So much for the "good bowlers".

Russell versus Colby:  Both guttered their first throws.  Russell knocked down 5 on the second and Colby was only able to answer with one.  2-1 Heroes.

Coach versus Amanda:  Both rolled a 5 on their first attempt.  Coach got one more on his second roll but Amanda nicked two over to complete the win.

The Heroes enjoyed their feast and planned about how they might rescue Coach and Russell from the evil women Villains.  Hmm.  That seemed a bit redundant.

The Villains got a double dip of loser-ville since they had to drag their tools and stuff all the way back to camp and set it back up again.

Gerri lost it back at camp, playing second guess with all the day's choices.  She blurted out that Sandra and Courtney sucked and should have been left out of the upcoming immunity challenge instead of the reward challenge.  Sandra finally found her voice.  "I'm sitting right here!"

They exercised a nice group blame-storming session.  I don't think they accomplished much, but it seemed like they all agreed it was probably Coach's fault for stepping up to make a decision. Poor Coach.

Sandra was fuming mad.  She hates everybody!

Sandra decided that the best way to keep Courtney around was to tell Russell that Coach was gunning for him.  Russell's paranoid nature would surely result in an ending to Coach's fairy tale.

Russell set the stage, as he and Sandra sat on the beach chatting and he explained to her how he decided everything and had complete control of the game.  Sandra dropped her bait and Russell snapped it up hook, line and sinker.  Coach had to go.  To help validate his choice he reminded her that this would further the notion that the tribe was performing an all-women alliance, which would surely work in their interest after the merge.

Well, we've reached the part of the season where the contestants have been away from showers and razors too long for the make-up touch-ups to help much.  The women are all starting to look like war ghetto prostitutes and the men have migrated from Don Johnson stud-scruffy to Ernest Borgnine.  Except Colby.  He still looks good.

What does that mean?  That's right.  It's time to indulge the Survivor fetish-lovers!

Immunity challenge was a mud-strewn obstacle course where a pair of contestants were belted together to make their way through the course to retrieve a flag.  First pair to return and drop their flags in the basket would win a point.  First tribe to two points wins immunity.

Gerri and Danielle were chosen to sit out this challenge for the Villains.

The first pairs were Russell and Sandra versus Amanda and Candace.

This went pretty poorly for the Villains.  Russell, being a bit on the stout side had a little trouble wriggling under the bars but he looked like the Flash compared to Sandra.  She took so long to make it through the first obstacle that Russell had time to stand up and stare at her.  Halfway through she had run out of gas.  It didn't matter...Amanda and Candace had finished with enough time for a spa treatment and massages.

Next up was a one on one (due to the numbers) between Coach and Rupert.  This was a good match.  Coach lithely slid through the obstacles to take a lead, but Rupert managed to catch up halfway through and even move ahead.  Unfortunately for him his toe and sluggish footwork caught up with him and Coach was able to nip him at the line to tie the contest up.

Parvarti and Courtney versus JT and Colby.  Yeah, not exactly a dream team match-up, is it?

One might think that Courtney would have an advantage in something like this since she's thin enough to easily side through the obstacles.  Well, one would be wrong for two reasons:

1.  The first time she hit the mud she immediately doubled her normal weight
2.  She is not only super thin, but super feeble as well

She quick got caught in the mud and somehow managed to twist or sprain her ankle in the process.  The Heroes won immunity.

Back at Villain camp Coach was starting to feel like his old self.  Finally he was one of the best contributors on his tribe.  Although his team was losing, he was performing well.  He was starting to speak up and assert himself as leader now that Boston Rob was no longer there to fill the void.  Need I say it?

"The Dragonslayer is back!"

He wondered aloud about going after Russell, but decided it would be best to remove the weakest of their weak links and get rid of Courtney.

Russell shared his plan to get rid of Coach with Danielle.  She couldn't believe it.  She argued that if they had any challenges left before the merge that they needed Coach way more than they needed the useless Courtney.  Russell wasn't in the mood for debate and stalked off.

After a while he cooled off and returned.  He indicated that he had a change of heart and agreed it was time for Courtney to go.  He could take out Coach at any other time of his choosing.  He was the king, after all.

Courtney seemed oblivious.  Either they didn't show her working the rest of the tribe or she spent most of the day moping around camp.

At tribal council Probst pointed out that the Villains had gone from big winners to big losers in rapid fashion.  He pointed out that Coach was the only one who had gotten a point at the last challenge.

Coach couldn't get enough:  "Awww..."  I think he actually blushed.

Probst wondered if the tribe was spending too much effort voting by alliance rather than by ability to win challenges.  He called out Courtney wondering why they would remove Rob and Tyson before her, adding "no disrespect."

I'm always amused that when people say "no disrespect intended" or "no offense" it's is almost always accompanied by something highly disrespectful or offensive.An example?  "No offense, but that skirt makes you look like a hooker." See?  It's hard to see the self-development opportunities there.

Courtney, took exception and pointed out that she wasn't the one who volunteered to sit out every possible challenge.  That was everyone elses idea.  Ahem.  I'd like to buy a clue, please.

She then turned on Coach, calling out his decision to sit her and Sandra in order to try to win the feast instead of keeping them out of the immunity challenge.  I'm not sure it makes sense that she argued that it wasn't her fault that she was made to sit out most of the challenges with one breath and then blamed her participation in a loss in another.

Coach chimed in that he wanted to hear her want to participate and want to "go get 'em", because that's how winners act.

Courtney:  "Thanks, Dad."

She went on to add:  "You guys are looking to target the weak and I'm a poster child for weak Survivor.  But I'm a skinny determined bitch willing to put up with a lot of crap to get to the end!"

Sandra and Courtney fist bumped here.  I could almost see a Helen Reddy song come out of this:

"I am skinny, hear me bore,
in a weight class too small to ignore...
and I bitch too much to go back and defend.
'Cause I've seen it all before
And yet I still came back for more
I hope someone will carry me to the end again..."

You get the idea.

The vote commenced.  Courtney took a parting shot at Coach "nice feather in your hair!"

Gerri looked vaguely queasy.  Coach looked excited and alive for the first time all season.

The votes were counted and were split down the middle between Coach and Courtney with one remaining.

Coach was voted out!

Going back through who voted for whom I was shocked to learn that after all that arguing Russell stuck with his (final) decision and voted for Courtney while Danielle actually voted for Coach.  Double-yew-tee-eff?!?

Coach became the first member of the jury.

I'm hoping we can make some sense of this next week on...Survivorfest!