Fresh from voting off the "abrasive" Randy, Coach had a breakdown in front of Tyson.
"I do noble things but I look dis-noble! Why doesn't anyone say anything good about me?!?" I don't think dis-noble is a real word, by the way. My spellchecker agrees.
I hate to think that Coach might be reading my blog. But I'll risk it. You don't earn man points by weeping like a baby, Coach!
Tyson was remarkably supportive, which I think also cost him some man points.
Tyson offered up some personal life advice that I would've figured someone, somewhere might have imparted to Coach before:
- Don't tell your weird stories...no one believes you
- Don't wear feathers in your hair to tribal council (or: you are not a Mohican)
- Don't do Tai Chi in public (hey, a million Chinese people do it every day).
They gave each other lots of extra hugs, wiped away the tears and went back to camp.
Alert blog reader Jonna indicated that I'd missed Tyson kissing JT before the mud challenge last week.
I'd like to point out that in Tyson's original season I suggested he would be a strong candidate because traditionally Mormons have done well in this game. Especially the gay ones (see Todd: Survivor - China). Maybe he's trying to improve his odds this season.
Coach woke the next morning still in a funk. Maybe he didn't sleep well with that fork sticking out of him.
Coach went off to mope and Rob followed him. Coach blathered on: "I want to bond with you! I wanna do stuff together!" Reminiscent of Champ the sports anchors gushing in the movie Anchorman: the Legend of Ron Burgundy (unfortunately I couldn't find the whole segment on YouTube):
Coach shared that he was like the last of the Mohicans and King Arthur. I wonder if he knows how things turned out for those guys.
Reward challenge was a nice product placement for Sears complete with catalog.
The challenge was a slip'n'slide race between two players who were to pull a numbered ball off a string and attempt to toss it into a basket. First team to four baskets would win reward. To improve the slide (and, no doubt, the ratings) the players all oiled up. I think James brought his own from home.
First pair up was Coach and Tom. Coach coasted to a quick basket. The Dragonslayer lives!
Next pair was Russell and Cirie. Russell absolutely flew down the slide while Cirie danced her way to the basket. Russell had banked his shot in before Cirie even reached the foul line.
Next pair was Courtney and Candace. Candace won because Courtney wasn't strong enough to pull the ball off of the string. 2 to 1 villains.
Jerri versus Amanda - Please, child. Jerri won.
Sandra against James? Don't even ask. James slid right through and hit his first shot. Sandra took on a curious crawling strategy. I think she's still making her way down the slide. 3 to 2 villains.
Danielle versus Rupert: Rupert hung on to win despite his broken toe. The only better effort was the one put in by Danielle's bathing suit. I only hope that some day science can explain how she stays in that thing because it seems to be at least two sizes too small. 3 to 3 tie!
The last pair to go was Tyson and Colby. Colby took a nice lead, which seems to be the kiss of death for the Heroes tribe. Both missed several shots, but eventually Tyson dropped his in.
Villains win reward!
Along with the fine Sears-supplied products, there was an idol clue. It dropped out in the open, so the whole tribe was aware of it. They decided that it would be a bad idea for anyone to have it because it would plant a target on that person's back. A few minutes later Russell announced loudly and awkwardly that he need to take a walk. To do some...thing. Verrrrry subtle.
Rob had Sandra follow him and she confirmed that he was looking for the hidden idol.
Back at the Hero camp, they found a similar idol clue in the coffee container. Again, everyone was standing around, so they all got the clue. They all split up and started looking for it.
Tom found it first, earning 5 points for anyone who has him. He tried to slip it in his pants and walk off, but Amanda spotted him. Lord knows she had nothing else to do, since she wasn't actually dong anything productive like...I don't know...working around camp or looking for the idol.
Colby: "This is what we needed. We're a little better than we were." I'm trying to remember if anyone who ever had a hidden immunity idol ever won the million dollars...Can't think of any.
The immunity challenge was a re-run of the one they couldn't complete last season because Russell B had a medical emergency. I propose we call it "the Widowmaker" from now on. Seriously, shouldn't all of these challenges have some cool name? I think CBS is really missing an opportunity here. "the Ballbuster!" "the Slick!" Admit it, you're thinking of some now, aren't you?
One pair of blindfolded people would push a "leader" in a large ball down a path. After navigating the path the leader would direct two blind-folded people standing at a maze table to drop a ball in a basket at the end of the maze.
Tom was in one ball and Rob in the other.
The villains took an early lead this time and got a head start on the maze. Rob is looking large and in charge right now.
The Heroes made up some time on the maze and both teams were neck and neck. The Villain tribe managed to drop their ball in the net first, winning another immunity round.
Back at Camp Hero, Cirie was back to her usual plan. Voting out anyone not named Cirie. She and Candace decided the best bet would be to split votes between Tom and Colby, flushing out the idol and further weakening their alliance.
JT was at odds with this as he didn't like how much Candace was working the rest of the tribe. Tom sweetened the deal by offering JT or Amanda the immunity idol if they turned on Candace.
James summed up his usual strategy: "Who we voting? Okay. See you guys tonight at council."
Amanda told Cirie about the new plan to keep Tom and drop Candace. Cirie read her the riot act about being stupid. "Amanda's not the sharpest tool in the shed."
Amanda, for her part, looked like she realized that she was, in fact, flirting with double-digit IQ points.
This started a whole new round of debate.
JT seemed to be the only one undecided about which way to go. At this point I am fully invested in the theory that Colby is going home and CBS is doing their best to make things look interesting.
At council Rupert indicated that he will vote according to his alliance and not what will make his team stronger. I would like to point out that, while a fan favorite, Rupert has never finished in the money in this game.
Probst couldn't believe he was setting aside the "Outwit" part of the game.
James restated his policy of not playing any type of a social game. I think he would be more than happy to do nothing but work at camp and do the challenges. I would also like to point out that James hasn't sniffed the million dollar prize in this game, either.
The votes went in and Tom played his idol. Probst didn't call for it which made me wonder if he forgot or if he assumed that anyone who has it will know to use it at that time.
The first three votes were for Tom so they didn't count. The next four were mixed for Colby and Cirie. The final vote came in and Cirie was blindsided.
Next week we have another possible Survivor medical event! Will it be Coach's broken ego? JT's damaged honesty? Rob's fractured villain-ness? Or will Danielle's clown bikini finally give up the ghost leading to the biggest wardrobe malfunction since the Superbowl XXXVIII halftime show?
We'll find out next week on...Survivorfest!
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