Queen Brenda meets the guillotine!
Fresh from tribal council, Brenda and Sash are revelling in their role as King and Queen of the game. Brenda weighed in with this Hall Of Fame quote: "We're like the king and queen of Survivor...well, Sash is more like the queen..." I thought we had that whole straight/gay thing figured out weeks ago, thanks to Shannon!
Holly has begun to see the writing on the wall. She's come a long way in my opinion since the early days. I love to see someone trying to improve their position in the game rather than just playing along, doing what they're told and hoping someone will invite them into the final vote. I really hate that a few people have actually won a million dollars that way because it encourages others to do the same thing.
Jane also sees trouble on the horizon. She began speaking to NaOnka about clearing house with Brenda or Sash. Ironically she said "I hate playing with villains! I don't like 'em in real life and I don't like 'em in this game!" You're speaking with NaOanka, lady! She stole your food, stole Fabio's socks, cursed out Marty and abused a handicapped woman!
Before heading to the reward challenge the tribe decided to protect the campfire by blocking all sides of it with their wooden chests filled with supplies. Hmmmm. Do they understand how fire works? Cue ominous background music, because this won't end well.
The reward challenge was to have two teams travel across an expanse of sand using only barrels and planks. If any of the team touched the ground, they would need to begin again.
The teams were divided by schoolyard pick. Oddly they didn't show the pick taking place. I'm always enthralled by who gets picked first and last and the thoughts of the "captains". Alas, we didn't get to see any of that.
Chase, Jane, NaOnka, Fabio and Kelly had immediate success eschewing the use of all the barrels. They quickly made their way across the sand while the other team struggled to make it a few feet. To add to the disaster they also fell off and had to restart.
Further, Prost was off the drink again and spent most of the challenge mocking them:
"Dan can barely crawl on his two bad knees!"
"Dan smashes his hand!"
"Nice strategy, Brenda...that'll work...for about a minute."
"Benry makes the ceremonial loser's dismount!"
The reward was to visit an active volcano and slide down the edge of it. That doesn't really sound like a reward. Surviving the active volcano, maybe.
They appeared to enjoy the slide, however, suited up in hazmat outfits, goggles and traveling at about 10 mph over a gravel like surface that would easily rip flesh from bone. Where do I sign up?
Afterward the group enjoyed a picnic of pizza, soda and brownies. Probably tasted extra yummy with all the ash floating around.
They had a nice chat about who was running things at camp. Fabio was surprised to learn that Brenda was in charge. Really, dude? You know it's not still Marty, right?
When confronted with the plan to oust Brenda, he was impressed: "Wow...that's for real for real..."
You could tell that this made Fabio think hard because he kept rubbing his chin in that way that dullards like to do to make them look smart and contemplative.
Back at camp, the remainder of the tribe learned that wood does, in fact, burn. The campsite they had left had been reduced mostly to ashes. Personally I suspect the cameramen, but I can't prove it.
Brenda: "How did that happen!?!" One of the mysteries of the universe, I guess.
To the tribe's credit, no one started blaming anyone for what has to be one of the silliest mistakes in Survivor history.
Even when the rest of the tribe returned, they took the turn of events pretty well.
Chase couldn't wait to get back so he could squeal about the plan to his pal Brenda.
"I trust Brenda! I put my game plan in her." Um, okay. I guess every man has a name for it...Hadn't heard that one before.
Chase's diarrhea of the mouth continued. Not only did he squeal to Brenda, but he pretty much told everyone that he did it, too.
Immunity challenge was of the endurance variety. Hold onto a rope at an angle until you can't take it any more and then you fall into the water that Fabio peed in.
Sash and Kelly (why-is-she-still-purple?) were out almost immediately. Usually the tiny, thin girls do best at challenges like these, but Brenda, Kelly and Sash were out pretty quickly.
Chase and Benry started howling at each other, which was kind of funny.
It came down to Chase and Jane to see who was the better man. Jane was going to give in, but Probst laid into her about not being a sissy. Plus Chase kept wanting to talk about his feelings and that just made her angry.
In the end Chase fell out first and Jane won immunity again.
At council, Brenda was truly playing the part of queen. She indicated that she had no interest in voting Marty out, but since her alliance desired it, she averred. She also refused to "scramble" or votes once she found out that her name was at the top of everyone's list.
She mentioned that Nay seemed to be at the front of it all and how disappointed she was that her friend had betrayed her.
Probst prodded Nay on why she did it. Nay, ever petulant, claimed it wasn't her idea and tried to throw Chase under the bus.
Probst asked Kelly what her 20 years of wisdom told her about the situation: "My twenty years of wisdom, yeah. I think that....Um....I'm learning things!" I suspect Kelly took a special, shortish bus to school. Chances are it was purple.
The votes went in and everyone with the exception of clueless Kelly and her queen voted for Brenda.
Next week: Kellie reveals what she has learned...hot fire can burn things! Next week on...Survivorfest!
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Sunday, November 14, 2010
Survivorfest week 9!
Marty Farty hits the road!
Fresh from tribal council, NaOnka reveals that she thinks that Marty was too hard on Jane. She couldn't believe that he was all up in her grill and stuff. It's not like he threatened to rip off her prosthetic leg and throw it in the fire or something. Sheesh.
Jane has officially dubbed Marty as Mr. Farty. I think that really says it all.
Marty tried to rally the troops around a new plan of action: Get Jane. Really, that was about it. Not much of a plan, really, just get her. Get her good.
Jane thinks that he's just worried for his own safety in the game. I had trouble following this metaphor "Marty's gotta noose around his neck waiting for the hatchet man to come cut the rope." Um. Wouldn't that be good news? I know if I were hanging by a noose I'd want someone to come along and chop it...
The reward challenge was an obstacle course patterned after the Three Little Pigs. One wall was made of straw, one of bamboo sticks and one of bricks. There were some obstacle courses to crawl through on the way to each wall. The first team through each wall and obstacle would collect keys to unlock a series of padlocks. Winning team would get a zipline tour of Nicaragua and a barbecue.
They did a random draw and oddly the teams came out men versus women. There was a collective slapping sound from the boardroom at CBS. Just when I think they don't rig these things....
Chase was the odd man out. He was given the opportunity to pick which team he thought would win and would join them on reward if he was correct. He chose to side with the women.
The women held up pretty well through the straw wall. The men took a distinct advantage at the bamboo wall, and it was all over but the shouting by the time they reached the brick wall.
Jane completely ran out of gas on the way to the brick wall. Even if they had the time and the bulk to break through I suspect they would've had to carry her to the finish line.
Afterward the men were given the option to swap one of their team for one of the women who they thought "deserved' the trip. That seemed kind of stupid. I can't conceive of any reason why anyone on the team would willingly sit out the reward. Plus, how would the team know who on the other team "deserved" to go when they were obviously too busy performing their own challenge to notice. Makes no sense.
Needless to say, they declined.
Was Chase a fool for siding with the women for such a difficult challenge? Of course not, because he was thinking with little Chase! If the women won, he would enjoy reward with a bunch of women. If they lost, he got to go back to camp, you guessed it, with a bunch of women! Young, single men are trained to think this way. In many ways, he is a hero.
As always, too much of a good thing is rarely a good thing. Back at camp Chase began to turn into a woman. He kept asking Brenda about her feelings and wondered why they didn't talk any more...serious loss of man points.
At the reward, the men enjoyed the high altitude zipline. Except Dan, who looked like he was ready to have a coranary.
At the barbecue Mr. Farty was back to his Get Jane plan. I think if we put Marty on Breast Cancer Awareness we might have that stuff stamped out in a couple of months.
The Immunity Challenge was a memory game. I figured this would appear in an old versus young season, but several weeks too late to do most of the oldies any good. Probst showed a series of images in order and the players were to repeat them one at a time.
Jane and Nay washed out almost immediately when they couldn't remember their own names. I think Nay knew, she just didn't want to be Probst's bitch.
Dan was out when he displayed an image that wasn't event included in the series. I can only assume he didn't check it before he showed it. He really should have been out three or four weeks ago.
The gang whittled down to Brenda and Marty. Marty seemed to be keeping pace with some sort of Rainman routine. Brenda had that memory thing that makes me think she doesn't forget ANYthing. Eventually Marty slipped up and Brenda won immunity.
Back at camp, the scheming began. There were the usual obfuscations about who would be voting for whom. This led to a wonderful exchange between Fabio and Benry, who were discussing how to "lay low" that week.
Fabio: "I hate playing stupid so much. But I guess that's the smart thing to do..."
Benry: "It's easy!"
Marty went around spreading the word that Nay was going home so he could try to blindside Jane. Really, Mr. Farty? After the hissy fit you threw the night before, no one is buying it.
Marty told Brenda the Get Jane plan. He also mentioned that it was Sash's idea.
Brenda asked Sash what his plan was and he said "my plan is whatever your plan is..." I'm glad someone in this game is thinking.
Dan spent the whole day looking perpetually shocked by everything he saw and heard. I suspect he was just amazed that he was still in the game. I know I am.
At council, Probst asked about the whole stealing food thing. NaOnka indicated that she wasn't there to talk about the past. She declared herself a "humanitarian" which I believe she meant as an excuse for fallibility. Or maybe she was just getting reallllllly hungry if you know what I mean.
Nay also mentioned her disgust of all things Marty. His hair, his walk, the way he uses up oxygen. It really digressed into f-bombs and fingers at that point.
I think if NaOnka can survive this tribal council behaving like this, she's a sure-fire candidate for the final three. She would literally have to murder someone at this point in order to get voted out. And even then it might depend on who she killed.
The votes went in and Mr. Farty went out in a landslide.
Next week, NaOnka takes a dump in everyone's sleeping bags! And still doesn't get voted out!
Fresh from tribal council, NaOnka reveals that she thinks that Marty was too hard on Jane. She couldn't believe that he was all up in her grill and stuff. It's not like he threatened to rip off her prosthetic leg and throw it in the fire or something. Sheesh.
Jane has officially dubbed Marty as Mr. Farty. I think that really says it all.
Marty tried to rally the troops around a new plan of action: Get Jane. Really, that was about it. Not much of a plan, really, just get her. Get her good.
Jane thinks that he's just worried for his own safety in the game. I had trouble following this metaphor "Marty's gotta noose around his neck waiting for the hatchet man to come cut the rope." Um. Wouldn't that be good news? I know if I were hanging by a noose I'd want someone to come along and chop it...
The reward challenge was an obstacle course patterned after the Three Little Pigs. One wall was made of straw, one of bamboo sticks and one of bricks. There were some obstacle courses to crawl through on the way to each wall. The first team through each wall and obstacle would collect keys to unlock a series of padlocks. Winning team would get a zipline tour of Nicaragua and a barbecue.
They did a random draw and oddly the teams came out men versus women. There was a collective slapping sound from the boardroom at CBS. Just when I think they don't rig these things....
Chase was the odd man out. He was given the opportunity to pick which team he thought would win and would join them on reward if he was correct. He chose to side with the women.
The women held up pretty well through the straw wall. The men took a distinct advantage at the bamboo wall, and it was all over but the shouting by the time they reached the brick wall.
Jane completely ran out of gas on the way to the brick wall. Even if they had the time and the bulk to break through I suspect they would've had to carry her to the finish line.
Afterward the men were given the option to swap one of their team for one of the women who they thought "deserved' the trip. That seemed kind of stupid. I can't conceive of any reason why anyone on the team would willingly sit out the reward. Plus, how would the team know who on the other team "deserved" to go when they were obviously too busy performing their own challenge to notice. Makes no sense.
Needless to say, they declined.
Was Chase a fool for siding with the women for such a difficult challenge? Of course not, because he was thinking with little Chase! If the women won, he would enjoy reward with a bunch of women. If they lost, he got to go back to camp, you guessed it, with a bunch of women! Young, single men are trained to think this way. In many ways, he is a hero.
As always, too much of a good thing is rarely a good thing. Back at camp Chase began to turn into a woman. He kept asking Brenda about her feelings and wondered why they didn't talk any more...serious loss of man points.
At the reward, the men enjoyed the high altitude zipline. Except Dan, who looked like he was ready to have a coranary.
At the barbecue Mr. Farty was back to his Get Jane plan. I think if we put Marty on Breast Cancer Awareness we might have that stuff stamped out in a couple of months.
The Immunity Challenge was a memory game. I figured this would appear in an old versus young season, but several weeks too late to do most of the oldies any good. Probst showed a series of images in order and the players were to repeat them one at a time.
Jane and Nay washed out almost immediately when they couldn't remember their own names. I think Nay knew, she just didn't want to be Probst's bitch.
Dan was out when he displayed an image that wasn't event included in the series. I can only assume he didn't check it before he showed it. He really should have been out three or four weeks ago.
The gang whittled down to Brenda and Marty. Marty seemed to be keeping pace with some sort of Rainman routine. Brenda had that memory thing that makes me think she doesn't forget ANYthing. Eventually Marty slipped up and Brenda won immunity.
Back at camp, the scheming began. There were the usual obfuscations about who would be voting for whom. This led to a wonderful exchange between Fabio and Benry, who were discussing how to "lay low" that week.
Fabio: "I hate playing stupid so much. But I guess that's the smart thing to do..."
Benry: "It's easy!"
Marty went around spreading the word that Nay was going home so he could try to blindside Jane. Really, Mr. Farty? After the hissy fit you threw the night before, no one is buying it.
Marty told Brenda the Get Jane plan. He also mentioned that it was Sash's idea.
Brenda asked Sash what his plan was and he said "my plan is whatever your plan is..." I'm glad someone in this game is thinking.
Dan spent the whole day looking perpetually shocked by everything he saw and heard. I suspect he was just amazed that he was still in the game. I know I am.
At council, Probst asked about the whole stealing food thing. NaOnka indicated that she wasn't there to talk about the past. She declared herself a "humanitarian" which I believe she meant as an excuse for fallibility. Or maybe she was just getting reallllllly hungry if you know what I mean.
Nay also mentioned her disgust of all things Marty. His hair, his walk, the way he uses up oxygen. It really digressed into f-bombs and fingers at that point.
I think if NaOnka can survive this tribal council behaving like this, she's a sure-fire candidate for the final three. She would literally have to murder someone at this point in order to get voted out. And even then it might depend on who she killed.
The votes went in and Mr. Farty went out in a landslide.
Next week, NaOnka takes a dump in everyone's sleeping bags! And still doesn't get voted out!
Friday, November 05, 2010
Survivorfest week 8!
Alina's flame is snuffed!
This week's episode opened with the scene of a dead sea turtle getting picked apart by a flock of birds and a wild-eyed Naonka.
An only slightly less disturbing image of Fabio doing his tree mail dance soon followed. "Uncle Fabio has some treeeeee mailllllllll!" Add thirty years to him, put on some too-tight plaid trousers and a bad toupee and he would be the kind of uncle that you wouldn't leave your kids with.
Tree mail hints at a merge. Alina started suggesting some strategies around the camp fire. Almost immediately everyone's eyes glazed over. It reminds me of when I lecture my kids about leaving the door to the garage open.
True to tree mail, today is the merge! They dropped their buffs and donned new ones.
The traditional treasure chest was chock full of food, cooking supplies and, strangely, rum.
Fabio: "We have to drink all this today!" Yup. Uncle Creepy in the basement with Jimmie playing "what would you do for a quarter?".
Marty suggested the name for the new tribe: Libertad which is, of course, Spanish for "only well drinks are on special today."
Nay quickly began sneaking bits of food into her undergarments for a snack a little later. At this point I'm hoping for a random gorilla attack. She'd be like a noisy pinata...keep beating on her and little treats come out!
Brenda and Nay caught each other up on the latest gossip from both camps. Even Nay can't believe that Marty was dumb enough to give Sash his idol. And this from someone with bits of crackers stuffed in her drawers.
Chase and Jane decided they were cut from the same denim cloth. Evidently both of them hail from North Carolina, both like animals (live or dead) and both of them talked like an extra from the Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo.
Marty saw this and was none too happy. He weighed in with this Survivor Hall of Fame Quote: "that good ol' boy crap spreads like cancer!" Agreed. Nothing dissolves team relations like infamous southern hospitality. For an example look no further than the Civil War. Case closed.
Nay became angry when she didn't get her share of something they were cooking so she felt entitled to start swiping more things from the food supply. By the end of the day she had pilfered approximately 1 jar of flour, 2 pans and bowls, a working hibachi grill and Wolfgang Puck. Unfortunately for her, Holly spotted her making off with Puck.
Evidently Nay had some pangs of guilt and assuaged them by telling Alina what she had done and sharing her ill-gotten food.
The fun came to an end when Fabio realized there was a bunch of stuff missing and called a family meeting. After much wailing and moaning Holly decided it might be worth mentioning that she had seen Nay stuffing enough food into her bag to feed Kirstie Alley. Sherlock Fabio put two and two together.
Naonka denied everything. She admitted putting some things into her bag, but she, naturally, put them right back. It was the putting-back that Holly had managed to miss. She was so indignant about being accused that she refused to discuss the matter any farther and stalked off into the jungle with Wolfgang Puck trailing behind her.
Alina convinced her that it might be in her best interest to not assume that the rest of the tribe were complete morons, and she fessed up. I found it amusing that she subtlety dragged Alina under the bus with her.
Marty was really angry with Nay. I think if she had pulled this two weeks later when they were really hungry he might have actually gotten very Lord of the Flies with her. But alas, cooler heads prevailed and the tribe all agreed to blame Alina.
Sash was pretty excited about the whole thing. He realized that if Nay managed to stick it out until the final vote that no one would give her a million dollars.
He confided to her "You're my #1 girl here." to which she replied "ditto." I'm not sure if she meant that she was her own #1 girl or if it was a Sash-slam. Either way it's kind of funny.
Immunity challenge was an endurance challenge. Each member would hold an iron rod with a metal holder that would have to have continuous outward pressure applied. Last man and woman to drop their rods would win immunity. Yes, I'm aware how deliciously naughty that last bit sounded. Oh, behave!
The challenge commenced and Kelly and Dan were out almost instantly. Really, Dan? You're clearly a weight lifter, dude! It's time to man up!
Brenda, Benry, Sash, NaOnka and Holly soon followed. Jane won the challenge for the women. She was having such a good time with it that she decided to stay with it to see if she could beat the men as well. Personally I thought Probst should have made it interesting at that point and offered her up a car or a dream date with Russell Hantz if she could pull it off.
Marty dropped out, followed by Chase. Fabio won for the men! After he released his grip Jane finished her emasculation.
Individual immunity points for Jane and Fabio owners.
Back at camp Dan told Marty to be sure to wake him up to let him know who he was voting for this week. How is this sad sack still in the game?
The tribe seemed split between getting rid of Marty or Alina. It seemed like everyone was really leaning toward Alina until Marty got wind that he might be on the outs and made such an ass of himself trying to convince everyone that he should stay that they got really irritated with him.
At council Marty asked if he could have a few minutes to speak and then gave a dissertation on why he should stay and someone else, preferably Jane or Alina, should go.
He went on to complain about Jane and Chase and their snooty South Carolina ways ("that's North Carolina, you mo-ron!").
Marty upped the ante by claiming that if Jane made it to the final vote that he would vote for her. Interesting strategy for getting rid of someone.
They discussed the food stealing. NaOnka indicated that she felt forced into taking the food because no one would talk with her. And how is this sociopath still in the game?
Benry called Alina a "100% Grade-A dirt squirrel". What in the world did this girl do to these people that CBS didn't show us? And what the hell is a dirt squirrel?
Google defines it as:
1. a female of questionable character 2. a female with a scandalous sexual past 3. a dirty dirty slut
The votes went in, and Alina went out. She is now the first member of the jury.
Probst warned the remaining tribe that "deciding as a group won't work forever". Wait a minute. Doesn't he usually complain when they have mixed votes or someone gets blindsided? Then he says something like "this is clearly a tribe in chaos". Make up your mind, Probst!
This week's episode opened with the scene of a dead sea turtle getting picked apart by a flock of birds and a wild-eyed Naonka.
An only slightly less disturbing image of Fabio doing his tree mail dance soon followed. "Uncle Fabio has some treeeeee mailllllllll!" Add thirty years to him, put on some too-tight plaid trousers and a bad toupee and he would be the kind of uncle that you wouldn't leave your kids with.
Tree mail hints at a merge. Alina started suggesting some strategies around the camp fire. Almost immediately everyone's eyes glazed over. It reminds me of when I lecture my kids about leaving the door to the garage open.
True to tree mail, today is the merge! They dropped their buffs and donned new ones.
The traditional treasure chest was chock full of food, cooking supplies and, strangely, rum.
Fabio: "We have to drink all this today!" Yup. Uncle Creepy in the basement with Jimmie playing "what would you do for a quarter?".
Marty suggested the name for the new tribe: Libertad which is, of course, Spanish for "only well drinks are on special today."
Nay quickly began sneaking bits of food into her undergarments for a snack a little later. At this point I'm hoping for a random gorilla attack. She'd be like a noisy pinata...keep beating on her and little treats come out!
Brenda and Nay caught each other up on the latest gossip from both camps. Even Nay can't believe that Marty was dumb enough to give Sash his idol. And this from someone with bits of crackers stuffed in her drawers.
Chase and Jane decided they were cut from the same denim cloth. Evidently both of them hail from North Carolina, both like animals (live or dead) and both of them talked like an extra from the Misadventures of Sheriff Lobo.
Marty saw this and was none too happy. He weighed in with this Survivor Hall of Fame Quote: "that good ol' boy crap spreads like cancer!" Agreed. Nothing dissolves team relations like infamous southern hospitality. For an example look no further than the Civil War. Case closed.
Nay became angry when she didn't get her share of something they were cooking so she felt entitled to start swiping more things from the food supply. By the end of the day she had pilfered approximately 1 jar of flour, 2 pans and bowls, a working hibachi grill and Wolfgang Puck. Unfortunately for her, Holly spotted her making off with Puck.
Evidently Nay had some pangs of guilt and assuaged them by telling Alina what she had done and sharing her ill-gotten food.
The fun came to an end when Fabio realized there was a bunch of stuff missing and called a family meeting. After much wailing and moaning Holly decided it might be worth mentioning that she had seen Nay stuffing enough food into her bag to feed Kirstie Alley. Sherlock Fabio put two and two together.
Naonka denied everything. She admitted putting some things into her bag, but she, naturally, put them right back. It was the putting-back that Holly had managed to miss. She was so indignant about being accused that she refused to discuss the matter any farther and stalked off into the jungle with Wolfgang Puck trailing behind her.
Alina convinced her that it might be in her best interest to not assume that the rest of the tribe were complete morons, and she fessed up. I found it amusing that she subtlety dragged Alina under the bus with her.
Marty was really angry with Nay. I think if she had pulled this two weeks later when they were really hungry he might have actually gotten very Lord of the Flies with her. But alas, cooler heads prevailed and the tribe all agreed to blame Alina.
Sash was pretty excited about the whole thing. He realized that if Nay managed to stick it out until the final vote that no one would give her a million dollars.
He confided to her "You're my #1 girl here." to which she replied "ditto." I'm not sure if she meant that she was her own #1 girl or if it was a Sash-slam. Either way it's kind of funny.
Immunity challenge was an endurance challenge. Each member would hold an iron rod with a metal holder that would have to have continuous outward pressure applied. Last man and woman to drop their rods would win immunity. Yes, I'm aware how deliciously naughty that last bit sounded. Oh, behave!
The challenge commenced and Kelly and Dan were out almost instantly. Really, Dan? You're clearly a weight lifter, dude! It's time to man up!
Brenda, Benry, Sash, NaOnka and Holly soon followed. Jane won the challenge for the women. She was having such a good time with it that she decided to stay with it to see if she could beat the men as well. Personally I thought Probst should have made it interesting at that point and offered her up a car or a dream date with Russell Hantz if she could pull it off.
Marty dropped out, followed by Chase. Fabio won for the men! After he released his grip Jane finished her emasculation.
Individual immunity points for Jane and Fabio owners.
Back at camp Dan told Marty to be sure to wake him up to let him know who he was voting for this week. How is this sad sack still in the game?
The tribe seemed split between getting rid of Marty or Alina. It seemed like everyone was really leaning toward Alina until Marty got wind that he might be on the outs and made such an ass of himself trying to convince everyone that he should stay that they got really irritated with him.
At council Marty asked if he could have a few minutes to speak and then gave a dissertation on why he should stay and someone else, preferably Jane or Alina, should go.
He went on to complain about Jane and Chase and their snooty South Carolina ways ("that's North Carolina, you mo-ron!").
Marty upped the ante by claiming that if Jane made it to the final vote that he would vote for her. Interesting strategy for getting rid of someone.
They discussed the food stealing. NaOnka indicated that she felt forced into taking the food because no one would talk with her. And how is this sociopath still in the game?
Benry called Alina a "100% Grade-A dirt squirrel". What in the world did this girl do to these people that CBS didn't show us? And what the hell is a dirt squirrel?
Google defines it as:
1. a female of questionable character 2. a female with a scandalous sexual past 3. a dirty dirty slut
The votes went in, and Alina went out. She is now the first member of the jury.
Probst warned the remaining tribe that "deciding as a group won't work forever". Wait a minute. Doesn't he usually complain when they have mixed votes or someone gets blindsided? Then he says something like "this is clearly a tribe in chaos". Make up your mind, Probst!
Tuesday, November 02, 2010
Survivorfest week 7!
Jill is rubbed out!
Fresh from tribal council, Marty is miffed that the dominant youngsters of his tribe put his name down and forced a tie that led to Kelly One Leg being voted off. Their excuse of wanting to flush the idol off was feeble even by Survivor standards.
The reward challenge was to have each tribe throw balls at a net while someone from the other tribe acted as a goalie over a pool of water.
This was fun to watch, especially since Marty hit Chase in the coconuts.
It got better when Fabio decided the pool would be a nice place to take a whiz. The boy isn't bladder shy, that's for sure. You can tell that it's been a rough haul for most of these players when no one complains about having to flail around in a small pool of Fabio urine.
Espada won the challenge, which was a horseback ride and a nice breakfast. The highlight of the breakfast was that the tribe got to milk their own cow. Wife: "what kind of a reward is that!?!"
Nay entered into the Survivor hall of fame with this quote: "I touched a cow's nipple. I'm over it".
Back at La Flor, Jane was catching a whole mess of catfish while the rest of the tribe slept in. She treated herself to one on the side before returning to camp. She's starting to grow on me a bit.
Now that Kelly One Leg is gone and the tribes have been re-buffed, why does Probst keep calling her Kelly Purple?
The immunity challenge was a long chute that two of the tribe would direct the rest of the tribe to aim and hold to roll a ball onto some plates. First tribe to break all their plates won immunity.
Espada won immunity. I think Brenda and Alina got tired of arguing with Marty and the crew about how to place the chute. They went back to camp to figure out who should go home that night.
You know things are going sideways when Fabio is masterminding the plan to vote someone off.
Sash and Brenda came up with a plan to convince Marty to give him (Sash) his immunity idol as an act of trust. They would then promise not to vote him off. It sounds even more stupid when it's typed out, believe me.
Marty figures it's worth a shot since he had to use the idol anyway, and doing this might give him another week in the game. So will actually PLAYING your immunity idol, Einstein!
At council, Jeff notes that Marty had given Sash his idol and asked if he had a Nicuraguan lobotomy. Marty explained his reason and Probst turned on Sash. "So, if Brenda asked you to give her the idol to "hold on to" would you?"
"Um..." awkward silence "if the time was right." Sash then went to blather on about how it would be nice to have the idol in case "he" needed it. He amended it to say "they".
Probst asked Fabio if he thought that was a Freudian slip. Fabio said he didn't think it was right for guys to dress in womens nighties on prime-time television shows.
Despite all evidence to the contrary, the youngsters kept their word and didn't vote off Marty. They took his main pal Jill instead.
Next week...smells like a merge!
Fresh from tribal council, Marty is miffed that the dominant youngsters of his tribe put his name down and forced a tie that led to Kelly One Leg being voted off. Their excuse of wanting to flush the idol off was feeble even by Survivor standards.
The reward challenge was to have each tribe throw balls at a net while someone from the other tribe acted as a goalie over a pool of water.
This was fun to watch, especially since Marty hit Chase in the coconuts.
It got better when Fabio decided the pool would be a nice place to take a whiz. The boy isn't bladder shy, that's for sure. You can tell that it's been a rough haul for most of these players when no one complains about having to flail around in a small pool of Fabio urine.
Espada won the challenge, which was a horseback ride and a nice breakfast. The highlight of the breakfast was that the tribe got to milk their own cow. Wife: "what kind of a reward is that!?!"
Nay entered into the Survivor hall of fame with this quote: "I touched a cow's nipple. I'm over it".
Back at La Flor, Jane was catching a whole mess of catfish while the rest of the tribe slept in. She treated herself to one on the side before returning to camp. She's starting to grow on me a bit.
Now that Kelly One Leg is gone and the tribes have been re-buffed, why does Probst keep calling her Kelly Purple?
The immunity challenge was a long chute that two of the tribe would direct the rest of the tribe to aim and hold to roll a ball onto some plates. First tribe to break all their plates won immunity.
Espada won immunity. I think Brenda and Alina got tired of arguing with Marty and the crew about how to place the chute. They went back to camp to figure out who should go home that night.
You know things are going sideways when Fabio is masterminding the plan to vote someone off.
Sash and Brenda came up with a plan to convince Marty to give him (Sash) his immunity idol as an act of trust. They would then promise not to vote him off. It sounds even more stupid when it's typed out, believe me.
Marty figures it's worth a shot since he had to use the idol anyway, and doing this might give him another week in the game. So will actually PLAYING your immunity idol, Einstein!
At council, Jeff notes that Marty had given Sash his idol and asked if he had a Nicuraguan lobotomy. Marty explained his reason and Probst turned on Sash. "So, if Brenda asked you to give her the idol to "hold on to" would you?"
"Um..." awkward silence "if the time was right." Sash then went to blather on about how it would be nice to have the idol in case "he" needed it. He amended it to say "they".
Probst asked Fabio if he thought that was a Freudian slip. Fabio said he didn't think it was right for guys to dress in womens nighties on prime-time television shows.
Despite all evidence to the contrary, the youngsters kept their word and didn't vote off Marty. They took his main pal Jill instead.
Next week...smells like a merge!
Survivorfest week 6!
Yve hops off into the sunset with Holly One-Leg!
Sorry about the delay on the latest blogs. (Evil) Russell Hantz has been hanging around my house a lot in the evenings and he just won't take a hint when it's time to leave!
Fresh from tribal council, Dan is thinking about quitting. His knee is bugging him and he doesn't like the outdoor life. Helllloooooo...it's Survivor! He didn't think he could stand another 20 days of rain. Somehow I don't think that is going to be a problem.
Yve, meanwhile, told everyone how, despite what they thought, she wasn't "with" Tyrone. Yeah, she says that now, but later on she'll be bragging to her friends about how she's such a close pal with some guy named Tyrone. Everyone wishes that could say that..."Yeah, when I was hangin' with my buddy Tyrone..." You know you like the sound of it.
Individual immunity challenge!
Players dug up circular pieces of rope, had to flip them onto a basket on their backs and then toss the rings onto pegs. First player to ring all their ropes won individual immunity.
This was a silly-looking challenge, clearly created to pander to the older folks. My favorite part was the basket they were supposed to flip the rings into. It looked like they were sporting toilet seats strapped to their backs.
Holly and Jill (individual immunity points for each!) completed the challenge first and squared off for a reward for their tribe. Both tribes would vote someone off and the winner would get to enjoy a feast while sitting in on the loser's tribal council.
It was a close competition, but Jill pulled it out. Funny, I wouldn't have given two thousand independent votes that Hollie would be able to stick around this long. Maybe it's that weird Fargo-like accent.
Back at camp La Flor, Marty told Fabio that he was a chess grandmaster. Fabio said he was more of a leg man. I'll wait a minute to let that sink in. Bah. That wasn't really worth it, was it?
Anyway, it turns out that Marty was lying to impress Fabio with his planning skills. I think the fact that he knew how to play chess impressed Fabio.
The tactic seemed to work. When the rest of the tribe wanted to vote off Marty, Fabio was hesitant. I think he believed that Marty might be able to see through him with his Jedi mind tricks.
At council Marty decided to trust his instincts and hold onto his idol. The youngsters split their votes and tied on Marty and Kelly One Leg.
The re-vote took place and Kellie came up...ahem...short.
While Kelly hopped off through the graveyard, her tribe dug into a feast while the Espada tribe filed in for council.
They got an earful about Dan's whining about life in the great outdoors. Yve couldn't believe that she was the only one calling him out. Dan suddenly decided that he didn't want to quit and loved everything about being miserable. Further, he insisted that Yve was arrogant..her overall attitude.
Yve pointed out that she hadn't been going on about a Ferrari, six cars and his own guest spot on Lifestyles of the Rich and Shameless.
Despite the whining and the lack of skill at challenges, Espada decided to vote off Yve. I still can't figure that one out.
Sorry about the delay on the latest blogs. (Evil) Russell Hantz has been hanging around my house a lot in the evenings and he just won't take a hint when it's time to leave!
Fresh from tribal council, Dan is thinking about quitting. His knee is bugging him and he doesn't like the outdoor life. Helllloooooo...it's Survivor! He didn't think he could stand another 20 days of rain. Somehow I don't think that is going to be a problem.
Yve, meanwhile, told everyone how, despite what they thought, she wasn't "with" Tyrone. Yeah, she says that now, but later on she'll be bragging to her friends about how she's such a close pal with some guy named Tyrone. Everyone wishes that could say that..."Yeah, when I was hangin' with my buddy Tyrone..." You know you like the sound of it.
Individual immunity challenge!
Players dug up circular pieces of rope, had to flip them onto a basket on their backs and then toss the rings onto pegs. First player to ring all their ropes won individual immunity.
This was a silly-looking challenge, clearly created to pander to the older folks. My favorite part was the basket they were supposed to flip the rings into. It looked like they were sporting toilet seats strapped to their backs.
Holly and Jill (individual immunity points for each!) completed the challenge first and squared off for a reward for their tribe. Both tribes would vote someone off and the winner would get to enjoy a feast while sitting in on the loser's tribal council.
It was a close competition, but Jill pulled it out. Funny, I wouldn't have given two thousand independent votes that Hollie would be able to stick around this long. Maybe it's that weird Fargo-like accent.
Back at camp La Flor, Marty told Fabio that he was a chess grandmaster. Fabio said he was more of a leg man. I'll wait a minute to let that sink in. Bah. That wasn't really worth it, was it?
Anyway, it turns out that Marty was lying to impress Fabio with his planning skills. I think the fact that he knew how to play chess impressed Fabio.
The tactic seemed to work. When the rest of the tribe wanted to vote off Marty, Fabio was hesitant. I think he believed that Marty might be able to see through him with his Jedi mind tricks.
At council Marty decided to trust his instincts and hold onto his idol. The youngsters split their votes and tied on Marty and Kelly One Leg.
The re-vote took place and Kellie came up...ahem...short.
While Kelly hopped off through the graveyard, her tribe dug into a feast while the Espada tribe filed in for council.
They got an earful about Dan's whining about life in the great outdoors. Yve couldn't believe that she was the only one calling him out. Dan suddenly decided that he didn't want to quit and loved everything about being miserable. Further, he insisted that Yve was arrogant..her overall attitude.
Yve pointed out that she hadn't been going on about a Ferrari, six cars and his own guest spot on Lifestyles of the Rich and Shameless.
Despite the whining and the lack of skill at challenges, Espada decided to vote off Yve. I still can't figure that one out.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Survivorfest - week 5!
Tyrone allows himself to be excused!
Fresh from tribal council where the irritating Jimmy T was released, Holly proclaims that she was shocked. Shocked, I say!
Marty already has his sites set on culling Jane and Holly next. Practically licking his chops. The way the old farts have been performing at challenges he should get his chance pretty soon.
Alas, CBS has other plans. The old versus young gambit is clearly not working out and seems likely to get worse unless the Medallion of Power were to provide Ozzy and Boston Rob for the next challenge.
Probst announced a tribe switch. He had everyone pull a stone from a bag resulting in Holly and Brenda being new captains. Each chose members of the others tribe to form new teams. At this point I'm completely confused as to who is with whom, but one tribe is now Espada, which is Spanish for "bloaty, gassy feeling" and the other is La Flur, which is named in honor of one of the greats of American theater: Art LaFleur.
NaOnka, oddly, seems all broken up. She yelled over to the other tribe that she was going to miss them all. "Except you, ya one-legged skank! I'll gouge your damn eyes out!" Okay, she didn't actually say that. Or if she did, CBS cut it out.
We were treated to a reward-only challenge! The game resembled a giant Pachinko machine. Any balls that fell to the ground would count as a point against that team.
Reward for the winner was three chickens. Jane could barely contain herself "Ring the neck off that chicken!!! Yeeeehaaaaaah!" Three million PETA supporters begin reaching for their phones.
The challenge was very tight, going to the last set of balls. Marty dropped his second of the challenge and Espada took home the birds.
Back at the victorious camp Tyrone contemplated his new tribe: "There's a bunch a pretty girls runnin' around...there may be some fornicatin' goin' on..."
NaOnka isn't impressed with Tyrone: "Tyrone is not gangsta!" Of course he's not...He a Tyrone for God's sake! That beats gangsta like a full house beats two pair!
At camp Art La Fleur, Marty can't understand why the younger tribe put up with NaOnka's crap. "You mean you sat here and let her thump one of your own tribe, walk away with the immunity clue and not share it with the rest of the tribe!?!" Well, when you say it that way, it does sound pretty bad.
Marty went on to share that he had found the idol in the other camp. The younger members of the tribe found the admission ballsy, bold and, above all, stupid.
The rains came and NaOnka was having problems with it. Evidently she doesn't like to be cold, wet and hungry all the time. Well, duuuuuhhhh! Would you like to participate in next season's Survivor: Miami Beach?
Alina: "Nay seems like she's on her period all the time!" I'd like to point out that if a man had said that, there would be hell to pay.
Chase tried to help console the whimpering NaOnka as well, telling her a story about when his father died. Soon, he was blubbering, too. I think NaOnka is really bringing down this tribe's mojo.
The challenge was an interesting one. Fair disclosure: I had one person call me while the show was airing to remind me that younger children occasionally read this blog (although judging by the Google Analytics stats, I doubt it) and that I should report the results accordingly. I have no idea to what they were talking about.
The challenge was to strap three people to a large wheel where the remaining tribe members would turn the wheel in order to alternatively dunk each person into water. The person would grab a mouthful of water and, at the apex of the wheel, attempt to spit it into a tube while the wheel continued to spin. The tube, when full, would drop a ball that would be used to break some tiles. First to break all the tiles would win the challenge.
Across the country Survivor fetishists strapped themselves in for the ride of their lives.
I would like to point out that both tribes chose to populate the wheels solely with women. I'm not clear on whether CBS mandated this or not.
Espada managed to fill their tube first. I think some of the La Flur women got confused and [this section has been deemed inappropriate according to Blogger content rules and regulations. Funny. But totally inappropriate.]
Despite getting access to their ball first, Espada struggled with the last portion of the challenge and La Flur picked up the victory.
Back at Camp Loser, NaOnka admitted that she'd be happy to get voted out.
The rest of the team decided they wanted to eat a real meal before council, so they voted, over Tyrone's objections, to kill one of the chickens.
Three million PETA supporters dutifully hit the CBS complaint number on their speed dial. "Peggy? Yeah, it's me, Syd. They went and killed another one..."
At council, Probst probed NaOnka on the difficulty of life on Survivor. NaOnka compared it to her divorce, which she admitted was mostly her fault. Man, that's hard to believe. I bet that guy didn't have a leg to stand on. Yeah. I went there.
Probst was getting a little chippy with the tribe when they appeared to be resisting his attempts to get them to bash on each other. I think he might be getting spoiled by some of the infighting that happened with the past few councils.
The vote went in, and Tyrone was voted off. I am pretty sure that Jeff asked him if it was okay that he extinguish his bad-ass torch. 'Cause that's the way you roll with someone named Tyrone.
Next week: Espada gets sick from eating tainted chicken and three million PETA supporters celebrate in the streets!
Fresh from tribal council where the irritating Jimmy T was released, Holly proclaims that she was shocked. Shocked, I say!
Marty already has his sites set on culling Jane and Holly next. Practically licking his chops. The way the old farts have been performing at challenges he should get his chance pretty soon.
Alas, CBS has other plans. The old versus young gambit is clearly not working out and seems likely to get worse unless the Medallion of Power were to provide Ozzy and Boston Rob for the next challenge.
Probst announced a tribe switch. He had everyone pull a stone from a bag resulting in Holly and Brenda being new captains. Each chose members of the others tribe to form new teams. At this point I'm completely confused as to who is with whom, but one tribe is now Espada, which is Spanish for "bloaty, gassy feeling" and the other is La Flur, which is named in honor of one of the greats of American theater: Art LaFleur.
NaOnka, oddly, seems all broken up. She yelled over to the other tribe that she was going to miss them all. "Except you, ya one-legged skank! I'll gouge your damn eyes out!" Okay, she didn't actually say that. Or if she did, CBS cut it out.
We were treated to a reward-only challenge! The game resembled a giant Pachinko machine. Any balls that fell to the ground would count as a point against that team.
Reward for the winner was three chickens. Jane could barely contain herself "Ring the neck off that chicken!!! Yeeeehaaaaaah!" Three million PETA supporters begin reaching for their phones.
The challenge was very tight, going to the last set of balls. Marty dropped his second of the challenge and Espada took home the birds.
Back at the victorious camp Tyrone contemplated his new tribe: "There's a bunch a pretty girls runnin' around...there may be some fornicatin' goin' on..."
NaOnka isn't impressed with Tyrone: "Tyrone is not gangsta!" Of course he's not...He a Tyrone for God's sake! That beats gangsta like a full house beats two pair!
At camp Art La Fleur, Marty can't understand why the younger tribe put up with NaOnka's crap. "You mean you sat here and let her thump one of your own tribe, walk away with the immunity clue and not share it with the rest of the tribe!?!" Well, when you say it that way, it does sound pretty bad.
Marty went on to share that he had found the idol in the other camp. The younger members of the tribe found the admission ballsy, bold and, above all, stupid.
The rains came and NaOnka was having problems with it. Evidently she doesn't like to be cold, wet and hungry all the time. Well, duuuuuhhhh! Would you like to participate in next season's Survivor: Miami Beach?
Alina: "Nay seems like she's on her period all the time!" I'd like to point out that if a man had said that, there would be hell to pay.
Chase tried to help console the whimpering NaOnka as well, telling her a story about when his father died. Soon, he was blubbering, too. I think NaOnka is really bringing down this tribe's mojo.
The challenge was an interesting one. Fair disclosure: I had one person call me while the show was airing to remind me that younger children occasionally read this blog (although judging by the Google Analytics stats, I doubt it) and that I should report the results accordingly. I have no idea to what they were talking about.
The challenge was to strap three people to a large wheel where the remaining tribe members would turn the wheel in order to alternatively dunk each person into water. The person would grab a mouthful of water and, at the apex of the wheel, attempt to spit it into a tube while the wheel continued to spin. The tube, when full, would drop a ball that would be used to break some tiles. First to break all the tiles would win the challenge.
Across the country Survivor fetishists strapped themselves in for the ride of their lives.
I would like to point out that both tribes chose to populate the wheels solely with women. I'm not clear on whether CBS mandated this or not.
Espada managed to fill their tube first. I think some of the La Flur women got confused and [this section has been deemed inappropriate according to Blogger content rules and regulations. Funny. But totally inappropriate.]
Despite getting access to their ball first, Espada struggled with the last portion of the challenge and La Flur picked up the victory.
Back at Camp Loser, NaOnka admitted that she'd be happy to get voted out.
The rest of the team decided they wanted to eat a real meal before council, so they voted, over Tyrone's objections, to kill one of the chickens.
Three million PETA supporters dutifully hit the CBS complaint number on their speed dial. "Peggy? Yeah, it's me, Syd. They went and killed another one..."
At council, Probst probed NaOnka on the difficulty of life on Survivor. NaOnka compared it to her divorce, which she admitted was mostly her fault. Man, that's hard to believe. I bet that guy didn't have a leg to stand on. Yeah. I went there.
Probst was getting a little chippy with the tribe when they appeared to be resisting his attempts to get them to bash on each other. I think he might be getting spoiled by some of the infighting that happened with the past few councils.
The vote went in, and Tyrone was voted off. I am pretty sure that Jeff asked him if it was okay that he extinguish his bad-ass torch. 'Cause that's the way you roll with someone named Tyrone.
Next week: Espada gets sick from eating tainted chicken and three million PETA supporters celebrate in the streets!
Friday, October 08, 2010
Survivorfest - week 4!
Jimmy T is benched for good!
Fresh from tribal council, Tribe Arthritis is still reeling from their decision to remove their obvious leader, Jimmyjohnson.
Jimmy T tried to pick up the slack and keep his tribe motivated and happy through a rainstorm by a weird combination of hugging and singing old Four Seasons songs. Yes, it was really that odd.
Tribe Oldster immediately realized they had made a mistake and voted off the wrong Jimmy. Most blamed the fact that both men were old, had fake teeth and might have been named Jimmy or Bobby or something.
It's clear that most of them consider Nicaragua to be a little slice of hell. I guess the country can put aside its new "Nicaragua - Land of Retirees!" program.
Jimmy T is happy that Jimmy J was let go, since he wasn't respecting his obvious talent. He's not too happy with Marty, either. He indicated "Marty wouldn't last a minute in my world!" He's from Massachusetts for crying out loud!
At Camp Diaper Rash NaOnka and Brenda, despite all odds, managed to figure out the immunity map puzzle and Nay dug up the idol (points for Nay!). Note that Brenda carefully backed away when it became clear they were about to find it so that she would not be thrown to the ground and stomped on (ghetto style). Well played.
Alina and Kelly One Shoe decided that if they were going to find the idol first, that they would need to go looking as well. Nay noted this and followed them.
Unable to bring herself to admit that she had the idol and start gloating (ala Russell) she decided to scream at them and insult them for trying to look for it. I am 95% sure that NaOnka is a sociopath. That is Latin for person of chaotic, potentially dangerous actions or Kentuckian for crazy bitch what need killin'.
I don't see a big old kiss and make up between Nay and Differently-Abled Kelly at the reunion show. I would, however, like to see a nice pay-per-view grudge match. Maybe in a cage. Can't the WWF or the MMF make something like this happen?
Treemail came and gave an indication that the challenge would involve blindfolds. The older tribe decided it would be a good idea to practice wearing them and calling out instructions. Good idea!
As suspected, the challenge was to have pairs blindfolded and bound together with one "caller" to instruct the pairs where to go to pick up items in a kind of scavenger hunt. Reward would be immunity and choice of fine Sears brand products.
Tribe Pampers opted to use the Medallion of Power to gain an advantage.
They didn't need it. The younger tribe wiped the drool off of the older tribe's faces. I think Tyrone's comment summed it all up when he got tired of trying to get Jimmy T to listen to his instructions: "Damn, that boy don't listen."
Back at Camp Geriatric Jimmy went into full whine mode, indicating that he needed to play a bigger part in the tribe's failures.
Jill still wants to let Marty make the decisions on who to vote off. She's starting to get on my nerves.
At Camp Kinder Chase found a clue to the camp immunity idol in the fishing gear they won at reward. He decided to share it with Brenda, who, after much hemming and hawing, decided to fess up that Nay had already found it.
At least he won't have to have NaOnka follow him into the brush and yell at him.
At council Dan came dressed like a Smurf. It's a good look for him, though.
Probst pushed on why Dan continued to sit out challenges. Evidently Dan's bad knee won't allow him to participate on muddy or uneven footing. That's probably going to be a real liability IN THE RAIN FOREST!
Despite a tearful acceptance by Jimmy T that no one wanted him to be the heart and soul of Tribe Elder, they decided they had just about had all they could stand of him.
Next week: CBS realizes this isn't working out and the tribes go to a merge!
Fresh from tribal council, Tribe Arthritis is still reeling from their decision to remove their obvious leader, Jimmyjohnson.
Jimmy T tried to pick up the slack and keep his tribe motivated and happy through a rainstorm by a weird combination of hugging and singing old Four Seasons songs. Yes, it was really that odd.
Tribe Oldster immediately realized they had made a mistake and voted off the wrong Jimmy. Most blamed the fact that both men were old, had fake teeth and might have been named Jimmy or Bobby or something.
It's clear that most of them consider Nicaragua to be a little slice of hell. I guess the country can put aside its new "Nicaragua - Land of Retirees!" program.
Jimmy T is happy that Jimmy J was let go, since he wasn't respecting his obvious talent. He's not too happy with Marty, either. He indicated "Marty wouldn't last a minute in my world!" He's from Massachusetts for crying out loud!
At Camp Diaper Rash NaOnka and Brenda, despite all odds, managed to figure out the immunity map puzzle and Nay dug up the idol (points for Nay!). Note that Brenda carefully backed away when it became clear they were about to find it so that she would not be thrown to the ground and stomped on (ghetto style). Well played.
Alina and Kelly One Shoe decided that if they were going to find the idol first, that they would need to go looking as well. Nay noted this and followed them.
Unable to bring herself to admit that she had the idol and start gloating (ala Russell) she decided to scream at them and insult them for trying to look for it. I am 95% sure that NaOnka is a sociopath. That is Latin for person of chaotic, potentially dangerous actions or Kentuckian for crazy bitch what need killin'.
I don't see a big old kiss and make up between Nay and Differently-Abled Kelly at the reunion show. I would, however, like to see a nice pay-per-view grudge match. Maybe in a cage. Can't the WWF or the MMF make something like this happen?
Treemail came and gave an indication that the challenge would involve blindfolds. The older tribe decided it would be a good idea to practice wearing them and calling out instructions. Good idea!
As suspected, the challenge was to have pairs blindfolded and bound together with one "caller" to instruct the pairs where to go to pick up items in a kind of scavenger hunt. Reward would be immunity and choice of fine Sears brand products.
Tribe Pampers opted to use the Medallion of Power to gain an advantage.
They didn't need it. The younger tribe wiped the drool off of the older tribe's faces. I think Tyrone's comment summed it all up when he got tired of trying to get Jimmy T to listen to his instructions: "Damn, that boy don't listen."
Back at Camp Geriatric Jimmy went into full whine mode, indicating that he needed to play a bigger part in the tribe's failures.
Jill still wants to let Marty make the decisions on who to vote off. She's starting to get on my nerves.
At Camp Kinder Chase found a clue to the camp immunity idol in the fishing gear they won at reward. He decided to share it with Brenda, who, after much hemming and hawing, decided to fess up that Nay had already found it.
At least he won't have to have NaOnka follow him into the brush and yell at him.
At council Dan came dressed like a Smurf. It's a good look for him, though.
Probst pushed on why Dan continued to sit out challenges. Evidently Dan's bad knee won't allow him to participate on muddy or uneven footing. That's probably going to be a real liability IN THE RAIN FOREST!
Despite a tearful acceptance by Jimmy T that no one wanted him to be the heart and soul of Tribe Elder, they decided they had just about had all they could stand of him.
Next week: CBS realizes this isn't working out and the tribes go to a merge!
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Survivorfest week 3!!!
Jimmy J is cut!
Fresh from tribal council, Naonka still hates everyone. The rest of the tribe tried to act nice to each other after the vicious blood-letting at council. At least you know where you stand with Nay...about a foot closer than you should be.
Jud reveals his game strategy: Be funny around camp, but add something to that, like his mentality and spirituality, so it isn't just that he's LOL.
I think Camp Kiddie needs to rid themselves of a Kelly so that they don't need to keep referring to one as Kelly Purple and the other as Kelly One-Leg. Sorry, I think only Naonka does that. Everyone knows who she's talking about, though.
At Camp Alzheimer the tribe followed the sound of howler monkeys to try to find food. Jimmy Johnson grunted and hooted at them like a distant cousin. He got in a nice crack on Terry Bradshaw, too. Good stuff.
Marty isn't a big fan of Coach Jimmy's. The tribe has even taken to calling him just "Coach". Not a good sign. At all.
Jill talked Marty into sharing the hidden immunity idol with the tribe. He (seemingly reluctantly) did so. Not sure I understand the point of "sharing" an idol that can only be used by one person and has the most value after the merge. Guess we'll see how it plays out.
Jimmy T was really happy Marty did this, and thought that it strengthened the tribe. I guess we cleared up that mystery.
Danny appears to be breaking down. He has a scar on one knee almost as big as the limp he carries around with it. I think I saw a smaller scan on his other knee. With guns like that, I suspect his back is bugging him, too. He looks like a geriatric version of Hans...or maybe Franz.
The challenge was for immunity and reward combined. The tribe was to roll out the barrel polka-style and set them up on their ends. One member would then try to toss sand bags and land them on the barrel end. First tribe to bag all the barrels would win.
Reward was a basket of fruit, some spices and a mini herb garden.
The young tribe eschewed the use of the Medallion of Power, figuring that they could easily best the grandparents in this physical challenge.
The oldsters started sluggishly, but started tossing just after the younger tribe. Tyrone went on a tear and gave his tribe an early lead. He got cold as he tried to hit the barrels that were farther away, however and Benry overtook him.
After missing about twenty in a row, Coach Jimmy pulled him and went to Jimmy T. Not sure if he thought that Jimmy was a better option or was just tired of him saying, "me, coach, me! Put me in! I can do it, I swear!"
Jimmy T hit his first throw, but then ran out of time as Benry finished the challenge.
Kiddies win!
While gathering their booty, differently-abled Kelly noticed an immunity clue hidden with the fruit. Unfortunately for her, Nay also saw it. When they made it back to camp, they both went for the clue and had a nice cat fight on the beach.
Survivor is missing out on some serious add-on dollars by not promoting this sort of thing more often. A little hot oil here, some hair-pulling there, whoops there goes part of a swimsuit and CBS has a DVD that makes it's way into the homes of forty million teenage boys and their creepy uncles. Just saying.
(At this moment, a CBS drone in the basement of the Black Rock building in New York in charge of monitoring Internet content sits bolt upright in his chair. He grabs a pen and furiously scribbles some notes on the palm of his pasty-white hand and dashes for a nearby elevator)
Naonka managed to pull the note away from Kelly and stomped off with the clue.
Jud: "Whuh? That was an idol clue? And she had to smush the bananas?"
Nay checked out the clue, which was the same picture puzzle that the oldsters received. I think the idol is safe for a while. A drunken lemur has a better chance at decrypting Nazi WWII code than Naonka has at solving this puzzle on her own.
She was smart enough to realize this and went to get help from Brenda. Ah, now we have a true brain trust. Brenda's sage advice was to try to figure out the last of the clues, which seemed to indicate a tree, and figure out which tree looked different from the rest. In the forest. That has lots of trees.
Naonka was less than apologetic for pushing aside Hopalong Kelly.
"You think one leg gonna stop me? Next time I'll push you so hard that damn leg will fly off!" I suspect Nay has successfully managed to avoid being tabbed as a keynote speaker for any Disabled Veterans events in the near future.
She did enlighten us to the difference between "hood" and "ghetto". Evidently what she did was "hood". If she had stood over Kelly afterward, snapped her fingers and mocked her, it would have been "ghetto". I think it's important that we know about these things.
And I think she's still wearing Jud's spare pair of socks. That's ghetto, yo.
Back at Camp Oldie-Not-So-Goodie Jimmy T makes a public announcement as to his awesomeness. "I got mad skills, Coach! I'm bein' wasted sittin' on the bench, here!" As opposed to sitting on the bench getting wasted, I surmise. I wonder if that would be hood or ghetto?
Marty wants Coach out. My wife wondered aloud whether Jimmy had cut him at some point in his life. Worth investigating.
Jill doesn't want to think about who to vote off and tells Marty to tell her what to do. He'll have to do the thinking for both of them. How very Casablanca.
Both Tyrone and Jimmy T seem to like to refer to themselves in the third person. I think Tyrones are allowed to do this, but I am not sure Jimmys are. I'll try to look that up later.
Marty thinks that voting off Coach will "shake the tribe to its core". And then he proceeded to talk to everyone about voting Coach off. If it's not a surprise, and the vote is a majority, will it really shake the tribe to its core?
At council Probst probably put the final nails in Coach Jimmy's coffin when he made the whole council all about the wonderful-ness that is the famous Coach Jimmy Johnson. In fact, he insisted on using his full name like it was a one-word title: JimmyJohnson! You could just see it getting on people's nerves.
I am quite certain that more than one person resolved to vote Jimmy off so that he could talk about it ad nauseam on the Fox pre-game show before any of them got voted off. I've been watching the CBS pre-game show just to avoid it myself.
The votes went in, and Jimmy didn't make the team.
Next week we'll find out how much Naonka hates people in wheelchairs on...Survivorfest!
Fresh from tribal council, Naonka still hates everyone. The rest of the tribe tried to act nice to each other after the vicious blood-letting at council. At least you know where you stand with Nay...about a foot closer than you should be.
Jud reveals his game strategy: Be funny around camp, but add something to that, like his mentality and spirituality, so it isn't just that he's LOL.
I think Camp Kiddie needs to rid themselves of a Kelly so that they don't need to keep referring to one as Kelly Purple and the other as Kelly One-Leg. Sorry, I think only Naonka does that. Everyone knows who she's talking about, though.
At Camp Alzheimer the tribe followed the sound of howler monkeys to try to find food. Jimmy Johnson grunted and hooted at them like a distant cousin. He got in a nice crack on Terry Bradshaw, too. Good stuff.
Marty isn't a big fan of Coach Jimmy's. The tribe has even taken to calling him just "Coach". Not a good sign. At all.
Jill talked Marty into sharing the hidden immunity idol with the tribe. He (seemingly reluctantly) did so. Not sure I understand the point of "sharing" an idol that can only be used by one person and has the most value after the merge. Guess we'll see how it plays out.
Jimmy T was really happy Marty did this, and thought that it strengthened the tribe. I guess we cleared up that mystery.
Danny appears to be breaking down. He has a scar on one knee almost as big as the limp he carries around with it. I think I saw a smaller scan on his other knee. With guns like that, I suspect his back is bugging him, too. He looks like a geriatric version of Hans...or maybe Franz.
The challenge was for immunity and reward combined. The tribe was to roll out the barrel polka-style and set them up on their ends. One member would then try to toss sand bags and land them on the barrel end. First tribe to bag all the barrels would win.
Reward was a basket of fruit, some spices and a mini herb garden.
The young tribe eschewed the use of the Medallion of Power, figuring that they could easily best the grandparents in this physical challenge.
The oldsters started sluggishly, but started tossing just after the younger tribe. Tyrone went on a tear and gave his tribe an early lead. He got cold as he tried to hit the barrels that were farther away, however and Benry overtook him.
After missing about twenty in a row, Coach Jimmy pulled him and went to Jimmy T. Not sure if he thought that Jimmy was a better option or was just tired of him saying, "me, coach, me! Put me in! I can do it, I swear!"
Jimmy T hit his first throw, but then ran out of time as Benry finished the challenge.
Kiddies win!
While gathering their booty, differently-abled Kelly noticed an immunity clue hidden with the fruit. Unfortunately for her, Nay also saw it. When they made it back to camp, they both went for the clue and had a nice cat fight on the beach.
Survivor is missing out on some serious add-on dollars by not promoting this sort of thing more often. A little hot oil here, some hair-pulling there, whoops there goes part of a swimsuit and CBS has a DVD that makes it's way into the homes of forty million teenage boys and their creepy uncles. Just saying.
(At this moment, a CBS drone in the basement of the Black Rock building in New York in charge of monitoring Internet content sits bolt upright in his chair. He grabs a pen and furiously scribbles some notes on the palm of his pasty-white hand and dashes for a nearby elevator)
Naonka managed to pull the note away from Kelly and stomped off with the clue.
Jud: "Whuh? That was an idol clue? And she had to smush the bananas?"
Nay checked out the clue, which was the same picture puzzle that the oldsters received. I think the idol is safe for a while. A drunken lemur has a better chance at decrypting Nazi WWII code than Naonka has at solving this puzzle on her own.
She was smart enough to realize this and went to get help from Brenda. Ah, now we have a true brain trust. Brenda's sage advice was to try to figure out the last of the clues, which seemed to indicate a tree, and figure out which tree looked different from the rest. In the forest. That has lots of trees.
Naonka was less than apologetic for pushing aside Hopalong Kelly.
"You think one leg gonna stop me? Next time I'll push you so hard that damn leg will fly off!" I suspect Nay has successfully managed to avoid being tabbed as a keynote speaker for any Disabled Veterans events in the near future.
She did enlighten us to the difference between "hood" and "ghetto". Evidently what she did was "hood". If she had stood over Kelly afterward, snapped her fingers and mocked her, it would have been "ghetto". I think it's important that we know about these things.
And I think she's still wearing Jud's spare pair of socks. That's ghetto, yo.
Back at Camp Oldie-Not-So-Goodie Jimmy T makes a public announcement as to his awesomeness. "I got mad skills, Coach! I'm bein' wasted sittin' on the bench, here!" As opposed to sitting on the bench getting wasted, I surmise. I wonder if that would be hood or ghetto?
Marty wants Coach out. My wife wondered aloud whether Jimmy had cut him at some point in his life. Worth investigating.
Jill doesn't want to think about who to vote off and tells Marty to tell her what to do. He'll have to do the thinking for both of them. How very Casablanca.
Both Tyrone and Jimmy T seem to like to refer to themselves in the third person. I think Tyrones are allowed to do this, but I am not sure Jimmys are. I'll try to look that up later.
Marty thinks that voting off Coach will "shake the tribe to its core". And then he proceeded to talk to everyone about voting Coach off. If it's not a surprise, and the vote is a majority, will it really shake the tribe to its core?
At council Probst probably put the final nails in Coach Jimmy's coffin when he made the whole council all about the wonderful-ness that is the famous Coach Jimmy Johnson. In fact, he insisted on using his full name like it was a one-word title: JimmyJohnson! You could just see it getting on people's nerves.
I am quite certain that more than one person resolved to vote Jimmy off so that he could talk about it ad nauseam on the Fox pre-game show before any of them got voted off. I've been watching the CBS pre-game show just to avoid it myself.
The votes went in, and Jimmy didn't make the team.
Next week we'll find out how much Naonka hates people in wheelchairs on...Survivorfest!
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Survivorfest week 2!
Shannon is out! Let the blindsiding begin!
Fresh from tribal council Hollie is feeling on the outs since she more or less had an alliance with the hapless Wendy. Seems kind of early for that, doesn't it?
Jill decided to pick up some protein by eating snails. Hollie decided that she looked a bit loopy, so the snails must be poisonous. She got irritated when Jill wasn't, in fact, poisoned and took them away, storming off. Jill went back to tell the group, who decided she might be a little wacky.
She noticed that Dan appeared to be laughing at her, so she plotted vengeance in the form of stealing his $1600 alligator shoes. Dude brings a $1600 pair of dress shoes to an island and thinks she's crazy!?!
Hollie filled the shoes with sand and deposited them in the ocean. After Dan freaked out about someone stealing his shoes, she realized how loopy it was and fessed up to the tribe.
Tyrone broke the ice on this season's Survivorfest Hall of Fame Quote: ""I'm gonna keep one eye on her and one on my shoes!"
Hollie told the tribe that she wanted to be upfront and honest because that's how she really was. You know, after backstabbing her first alliance mate, walking off with someone's lunch and then stealing a pair of shoes. All within the first, what, 48 hours? I think even Russell would be proud of that.
Evidently Sash (who I mentioned in my pre-season bio profile was not gay) is bi-racial. He expressed interested in having an all-minority final vote. Down with whitey! Is it racially insensitive for me to say that? I'm white, but it feels wrong. Not sure what the etiquette is here.
Over at Camp Kiddie, Naonka was having some footwear issues of her own. Unable to find one of her socks, she accused "someone" of stealing it. Who on earth would steal one sock? Of course I have some theories:
Chase - because he might need something resembling a condom for his island date with Brenda
Jud - because he seems like he is really into sock puppets
Kelly B - Because - duh! - she only needs one sock!
Unable to determine the culprit, Nay decided it would be a good idea to steal someone else's socks. She chose Jud's because she didn't like him and that is almost always a good enough reason to take something that doesn't belong to you.
Jud was thoroughly confused as to where his spare pair of socks went. When someone told him that Nay was wearing them he said "Is she? That really makes me mad!" If someone told me at this point that Erik the ice cream scooper got plastic surgery to change his appearance so that he could get back on the show I would not be surprised.
When he walked over to confront her, she jumped down his throat before he had a chance to say anything, effectively confusing him and putting him on the defensive. Well done! Bullying 101.
Hollie took Jimmie aside and confessed that she might be losing it and that she thought maybe she should leave the game. Jimmie, acting as tribe psychologist, got her head back on straight and sent her back with a better attitude.
At the immunity challenge, Camp Kiddie came in with some kind of Nazi march. I'm kind of looking forward to seeing what they do for next week's challenge. Maybe cartwheels?
The challenge was to find four balls hidden in hay piles, and then flip the balls to partners to deposit in a barrel. First to four balls in the barrel won immunity and reward of a tarp or fishing supplies.
Team Alzheimer elected to use the Medallion of Power, which took away one of their balls.
The teams started out pretty evenly until Hollie had trouble finding her ball. This gave the younger tribe a head start on the ball passing portion and they took a quick 2-0 lead. Benry then missed three consecutive short tosses in a row, allowing the older tribe to complete the challenge.
The oldsters elected to take the fishing supplies and the kiddies went back to camp to prepare for tribal council.
The tribe seemed split into two factions: anti - Shannon and anti - Brenda. Shannon was aware of Chase's interest in Brenda and effectively told him "bros before ho's".
Chase, confused, went running to Brenda to ask her where the hose was. Brenda easily manipulated him: "so why do you need Shannon?"
"Um, I don't."
"So why do you hate me so much you want to kill me?"
"Um, no, I think you're neat..."
"So you want to see me voted off because you need Shannon to make you a real man?"
"No! I don't need Shannon...he's outta here!"
Or something like that.
At Camp Oldster they found a hidden immunity idol in the fishing gear. The tribe quickly figured out most of the clues. Jill came up with the last one, and told Marty. Marty, Don and Jill searched until they found it. Marty owners get points for finding the hidden immunity idol!
I must say, this tribal council was the most entertaining I have ever seen. The only thing that would've made it more tense would have been a knife fight.
Shannon almost immediately called Chase out for aligning with Brenda. Chase said he really didn't like Shannon that much anyway. Shannon got really irate.
Jud: "Shannon, don't make enemies, man."
Shannon: "Fabio, you idiot, they're going to try to vote me off!"
Probst actually tried to settle things down a little, but there was too much gasoline on the fire.
Sash said something to further irritate Shannon and he replied with "Let's get this out there...are you gay?"
He then went on a rant about all the gay people in New York. I have to stop here and say how ironic it is for a homophobe to be named Shannon. Just saying.
At that point the kid gloves were off and Naoka wanted to get it on with Jud: "Fabio over there thinks I'm dumb or something!"
Jud (trying very hard not to think): "What?"
This is the first council where I heard someone actually begging Probst to let them get to the vote. Good stuff.
The votes went in, and Shannon's wild rant cost his a few votes from his fragile alliance.
Next week: Does anyone in Camp Kiddie like anyone else? No, they don't! I can't wait to see who drags who off into the jungle for a well-deserved beating.
Next week on...Survivorfest!
Fresh from tribal council Hollie is feeling on the outs since she more or less had an alliance with the hapless Wendy. Seems kind of early for that, doesn't it?
Jill decided to pick up some protein by eating snails. Hollie decided that she looked a bit loopy, so the snails must be poisonous. She got irritated when Jill wasn't, in fact, poisoned and took them away, storming off. Jill went back to tell the group, who decided she might be a little wacky.
She noticed that Dan appeared to be laughing at her, so she plotted vengeance in the form of stealing his $1600 alligator shoes. Dude brings a $1600 pair of dress shoes to an island and thinks she's crazy!?!
Hollie filled the shoes with sand and deposited them in the ocean. After Dan freaked out about someone stealing his shoes, she realized how loopy it was and fessed up to the tribe.
Tyrone broke the ice on this season's Survivorfest Hall of Fame Quote: ""I'm gonna keep one eye on her and one on my shoes!"
Hollie told the tribe that she wanted to be upfront and honest because that's how she really was. You know, after backstabbing her first alliance mate, walking off with someone's lunch and then stealing a pair of shoes. All within the first, what, 48 hours? I think even Russell would be proud of that.
Evidently Sash (who I mentioned in my pre-season bio profile was not gay) is bi-racial. He expressed interested in having an all-minority final vote. Down with whitey! Is it racially insensitive for me to say that? I'm white, but it feels wrong. Not sure what the etiquette is here.
Over at Camp Kiddie, Naonka was having some footwear issues of her own. Unable to find one of her socks, she accused "someone" of stealing it. Who on earth would steal one sock? Of course I have some theories:
Chase - because he might need something resembling a condom for his island date with Brenda
Jud - because he seems like he is really into sock puppets
Kelly B - Because - duh! - she only needs one sock!
Unable to determine the culprit, Nay decided it would be a good idea to steal someone else's socks. She chose Jud's because she didn't like him and that is almost always a good enough reason to take something that doesn't belong to you.
Jud was thoroughly confused as to where his spare pair of socks went. When someone told him that Nay was wearing them he said "Is she? That really makes me mad!" If someone told me at this point that Erik the ice cream scooper got plastic surgery to change his appearance so that he could get back on the show I would not be surprised.
When he walked over to confront her, she jumped down his throat before he had a chance to say anything, effectively confusing him and putting him on the defensive. Well done! Bullying 101.
Hollie took Jimmie aside and confessed that she might be losing it and that she thought maybe she should leave the game. Jimmie, acting as tribe psychologist, got her head back on straight and sent her back with a better attitude.
At the immunity challenge, Camp Kiddie came in with some kind of Nazi march. I'm kind of looking forward to seeing what they do for next week's challenge. Maybe cartwheels?
The challenge was to find four balls hidden in hay piles, and then flip the balls to partners to deposit in a barrel. First to four balls in the barrel won immunity and reward of a tarp or fishing supplies.
Team Alzheimer elected to use the Medallion of Power, which took away one of their balls.
The teams started out pretty evenly until Hollie had trouble finding her ball. This gave the younger tribe a head start on the ball passing portion and they took a quick 2-0 lead. Benry then missed three consecutive short tosses in a row, allowing the older tribe to complete the challenge.
The oldsters elected to take the fishing supplies and the kiddies went back to camp to prepare for tribal council.
The tribe seemed split into two factions: anti - Shannon and anti - Brenda. Shannon was aware of Chase's interest in Brenda and effectively told him "bros before ho's".
Chase, confused, went running to Brenda to ask her where the hose was. Brenda easily manipulated him: "so why do you need Shannon?"
"Um, I don't."
"So why do you hate me so much you want to kill me?"
"Um, no, I think you're neat..."
"So you want to see me voted off because you need Shannon to make you a real man?"
"No! I don't need Shannon...he's outta here!"
Or something like that.
At Camp Oldster they found a hidden immunity idol in the fishing gear. The tribe quickly figured out most of the clues. Jill came up with the last one, and told Marty. Marty, Don and Jill searched until they found it. Marty owners get points for finding the hidden immunity idol!
I must say, this tribal council was the most entertaining I have ever seen. The only thing that would've made it more tense would have been a knife fight.
Shannon almost immediately called Chase out for aligning with Brenda. Chase said he really didn't like Shannon that much anyway. Shannon got really irate.
Jud: "Shannon, don't make enemies, man."
Shannon: "Fabio, you idiot, they're going to try to vote me off!"
Probst actually tried to settle things down a little, but there was too much gasoline on the fire.
Sash said something to further irritate Shannon and he replied with "Let's get this out there...are you gay?"
He then went on a rant about all the gay people in New York. I have to stop here and say how ironic it is for a homophobe to be named Shannon. Just saying.
At that point the kid gloves were off and Naoka wanted to get it on with Jud: "Fabio over there thinks I'm dumb or something!"
Jud (trying very hard not to think): "What?"
This is the first council where I heard someone actually begging Probst to let them get to the vote. Good stuff.
The votes went in, and Shannon's wild rant cost his a few votes from his fragile alliance.
Next week: Does anyone in Camp Kiddie like anyone else? No, they don't! I can't wait to see who drags who off into the jungle for a well-deserved beating.
Next week on...Survivorfest!
Thursday, September 16, 2010
Survivorfest 7 - week 1!
Wendy's husband was right...she can't cut it.
Welcome to another season of Survivorfest! We have a pool of 25 entries this season which is a great turn-out considering how late I started on the entry stuff.
On to the game!
An early split of the teams to find the "Medallion of Power" (last seen being worn by He-Man, Master of the Universe) resulted in Brenda climbing a tree and pulling down the ugly piece of bling.
At that point Probst told them the real way the teams would be split up was by age. Brenda was given the choice to keep the MOP (which would provide an advantage at a challenge) or trade it for camp supplies. The other tribe would get what she didn't choose.
Tribe Diapers chose to keep the supplies and give up the MOP to the older tribe.
Buffs were passed out and Jimmy J began complaining about his hair. I think that was at about the 15 minute mark. Dang, I think the Vegas over/under was at ten.
The tribes headed back to their camps.
At Camp Diaper...wait I used that one already. At camp Fogy we learn that Jame was sandbagging on her bio. Unlike most contestants, she had been preparing for Survivor by learning to start fires using a pair of reading glasses ala Yau-Man. I immediately regret choosing her as a Lovable Loser.
Jimmy J spent most of his time playing the social game, but ended up wearing himself out. He spent the night yacking his guts up and the morning complaining about how unpleasant it was.
At Camp Kiddie the tribe went through the contents of the camp gear. Jud, who appears to be true to his bio, looked like he wanted to play in the box. This guy appears to be Erik-the-ice-cream-guy stupid. I am legitimately excited.
In the first ten minutes at camp Jud managed to spike his own foot and be attacked by a half inch crab. His camp nickname is "Fabio". Word around Camp Kiddie is that Fabio was some kind of opera singer.
First blur that I detected was Sash in his yellow drawers. Shannon and Chase received blurs right after as they went into the jungle to pump each other up.
Kelly B is missing most of her right leg. The rest of the tribe, concerned about what that could mean come tribal council, immediately painted a target on her back. I'm always amused at how concerned everyone is about how tough someone would be to beat in the final council when only three people will be remaining. I would think they should worry about the long odds of getting there, first.
Kelly came clean about her leg. She called the tribe together and pulled down her pants. She then said, and I am not making this up, "Now I'm excited!" I would have bet any amount of money that any of the men of the tribe would've said that first.
It turns out Brenda used to be a cheerleader for the Dolphins. Not really relevant, I guess but again, something you'd expect to see on the bio, isn't it? If I ever make it onto Survivor you all can be damn sure there's going to be a shout-out to Cousin Willie. Plus the time I saw Carl Weathers in my shower. But that's a story for another time.
Kelly B and Alina received a clue to a hidden immunity idol when they went to get tree mail. There didn't seem to be a similar clue at Camp Fogy. Not sure why. They elected to keep the clue to themselves.
Alina was concerned that this would align the two of them. Since Kelly B now had the don't-let-her-get-to-the-final-vote target on her back, she was concerned to be stuck with her.
At the challenge, Tribe Diaper came in doing some weird dance line thing. Very odd, even in a middle-school awkward kind of way.
The challenge was to route water poured from buckets into a tub that, when filled, would drop a net full of puzzle pieces. First tribe to complete the puzzle would avoid tribal council.
Since Tribe Fogy had the Medallion of Power, they had an opportunity to get a one bucket head start on the challenge. They elected to save the MOP for another challenge.
Tribe Diaper completed the bucket filling stage just ahead of Tribe Fogy.
Probst: "The older tribe has a great flow going!" That's something you don't hear too often. (urinary incontinence joke: check).
Tribe Diaper completed the puzzle first. Youth prevailed! (campy throw out line: check)
Back at camp the oldsters had to determine who would be the weakest link to cast out.
Jimmy T seems like he might just be a little bit crazy. Not weird old man who wears plaid slacks, crazy. We're talking full-on danger to surrounding onlookers crazy.
Wendy and Jimmy J seem to be the most likely to go.
Wendy can't decide whether she's nervous or concerned. She actually spent several minutes articulating this. Enough, vote her off already!
At council, Wendy complained that no one took the time to get to know her. "No one even asked how old I am!"
To which Tyrone replied "Never ask a woman her age, fool!" It's only the first episode but I have to admit that Tyrone is my early favorite from a Survivorfest blog perspective. Jud will be fun to laugh at, but Tyrone is poised to dump some serious bad-ass life advice on us. It would be prudent for us to listen and learn.
Probst tried to send them all to the vote, but Wendy wanted to say a few things. Might as well get 'em in while you can honey, cause they won't have any time at the reunion show for you.
The vote went in and Wendy went out. The lone dissent was Wendy's cast away vote for Yve.
Next week, things heat up in each tribe and someone loses their shoes!
See you next time on...Survivorfest!
Welcome to another season of Survivorfest! We have a pool of 25 entries this season which is a great turn-out considering how late I started on the entry stuff.
On to the game!
An early split of the teams to find the "Medallion of Power" (last seen being worn by He-Man, Master of the Universe) resulted in Brenda climbing a tree and pulling down the ugly piece of bling.
At that point Probst told them the real way the teams would be split up was by age. Brenda was given the choice to keep the MOP (which would provide an advantage at a challenge) or trade it for camp supplies. The other tribe would get what she didn't choose.
Tribe Diapers chose to keep the supplies and give up the MOP to the older tribe.
Buffs were passed out and Jimmy J began complaining about his hair. I think that was at about the 15 minute mark. Dang, I think the Vegas over/under was at ten.
The tribes headed back to their camps.
At Camp Diaper...wait I used that one already. At camp Fogy we learn that Jame was sandbagging on her bio. Unlike most contestants, she had been preparing for Survivor by learning to start fires using a pair of reading glasses ala Yau-Man. I immediately regret choosing her as a Lovable Loser.
Jimmy J spent most of his time playing the social game, but ended up wearing himself out. He spent the night yacking his guts up and the morning complaining about how unpleasant it was.
At Camp Kiddie the tribe went through the contents of the camp gear. Jud, who appears to be true to his bio, looked like he wanted to play in the box. This guy appears to be Erik-the-ice-cream-guy stupid. I am legitimately excited.
In the first ten minutes at camp Jud managed to spike his own foot and be attacked by a half inch crab. His camp nickname is "Fabio". Word around Camp Kiddie is that Fabio was some kind of opera singer.
First blur that I detected was Sash in his yellow drawers. Shannon and Chase received blurs right after as they went into the jungle to pump each other up.
Kelly B is missing most of her right leg. The rest of the tribe, concerned about what that could mean come tribal council, immediately painted a target on her back. I'm always amused at how concerned everyone is about how tough someone would be to beat in the final council when only three people will be remaining. I would think they should worry about the long odds of getting there, first.
Kelly came clean about her leg. She called the tribe together and pulled down her pants. She then said, and I am not making this up, "Now I'm excited!" I would have bet any amount of money that any of the men of the tribe would've said that first.
It turns out Brenda used to be a cheerleader for the Dolphins. Not really relevant, I guess but again, something you'd expect to see on the bio, isn't it? If I ever make it onto Survivor you all can be damn sure there's going to be a shout-out to Cousin Willie. Plus the time I saw Carl Weathers in my shower. But that's a story for another time.
Kelly B and Alina received a clue to a hidden immunity idol when they went to get tree mail. There didn't seem to be a similar clue at Camp Fogy. Not sure why. They elected to keep the clue to themselves.
Alina was concerned that this would align the two of them. Since Kelly B now had the don't-let-her-get-to-the-final-vote target on her back, she was concerned to be stuck with her.
At the challenge, Tribe Diaper came in doing some weird dance line thing. Very odd, even in a middle-school awkward kind of way.
The challenge was to route water poured from buckets into a tub that, when filled, would drop a net full of puzzle pieces. First tribe to complete the puzzle would avoid tribal council.
Since Tribe Fogy had the Medallion of Power, they had an opportunity to get a one bucket head start on the challenge. They elected to save the MOP for another challenge.
Tribe Diaper completed the bucket filling stage just ahead of Tribe Fogy.
Probst: "The older tribe has a great flow going!" That's something you don't hear too often. (urinary incontinence joke: check).
Tribe Diaper completed the puzzle first. Youth prevailed! (campy throw out line: check)
Back at camp the oldsters had to determine who would be the weakest link to cast out.
Jimmy T seems like he might just be a little bit crazy. Not weird old man who wears plaid slacks, crazy. We're talking full-on danger to surrounding onlookers crazy.
Wendy and Jimmy J seem to be the most likely to go.
Wendy can't decide whether she's nervous or concerned. She actually spent several minutes articulating this. Enough, vote her off already!
At council, Wendy complained that no one took the time to get to know her. "No one even asked how old I am!"
To which Tyrone replied "Never ask a woman her age, fool!" It's only the first episode but I have to admit that Tyrone is my early favorite from a Survivorfest blog perspective. Jud will be fun to laugh at, but Tyrone is poised to dump some serious bad-ass life advice on us. It would be prudent for us to listen and learn.
Probst tried to send them all to the vote, but Wendy wanted to say a few things. Might as well get 'em in while you can honey, cause they won't have any time at the reunion show for you.
The vote went in and Wendy went out. The lone dissent was Wendy's cast away vote for Yve.
Next week, things heat up in each tribe and someone loses their shoes!
See you next time on...Survivorfest!
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Survivorfest - week 13
Rupert falls short again!
Fresh from tribal council where Danielle took the fall for her "close" relationship with Parvarti, Rupert is feeling renewed and optimistic about his chances. He seems to think that if he can make it through to the final vote that the million dollars is his.
Parvarti and Jerri commiserated over Russell. Seems to be the same story as last season...people bitching and bellyaching about Russell, but then ultimately deciding to ride it out, "see what happens" and continue to work with him. I guess it worked out great for Natalie last season.
Russell, for his part, continued to try to spin lies that he had to get rid of Danielle because she was secretly planning to get rid of Parvarti. No one's buying what you have to sell, Russ.
Tree mail came in the form of a Sprint product placement. None too subtle, either. It's amazing what people will do for money. Ahem.
Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre
The players got to see videos of their loved ones using the wonder Sprint Palm Pre. When Rupert's wife came on, my oldest shouted out "Rupert's got a wife like that?!? That's amazing!" I suspect she was imagining something like this.
The reward challenge was a Survivor plus loved one competition where the player would bring a bucket of water from the surf and toss it to their loved one's bucket. They would then use that water to fill another bucket to lift a flag.
Reward was a flight to the Alofaaga Blowholes with a nice picnic of burgers and soda with loved ones. Plus an opportunity to take the wonderful Sprint Palm Pre to record the trip. Lucky!
Rupert was paired with his (evidently) lovely wife, Russell with his wife (last seen at last year's final show dressed like a biker-stripper), Colby had his brother (who also seemed like a frat boy goofball), Parvarti had her dad (who now has logged more Survivor time than many actual contestants), Jerri had her sister (the two of them together made the most annoying mewling noises) and Sandra had her favorite uncle (favorite, because he was there when her mother died. No charges have been filed).
It's Rupert and his wife's anniversary! I'm sure when she thought about the possibility of spending an anniversary on a tropical island, Survivor had not popped into her mind.
The challenge was fairly entertaining. Colby almost immediately began fighting with his brother and blaming him for the water not falling into his pail. His brother seemed to be laughing at him. These guys must be a real riot at Thanksgiving. I'm guessing they have an annual T-Day football game, full contact with at least two fights and one concussion per holiday.
Russell's wife, while adding to the water from the bucket, spit to add volume. Now that's class.
Sandra yelled in Spanish for her uncle to cheat by stealing water from the people able to actually reach their partners. He just laughed. She must be a real joy at family events, too. I'm thinking fistfights and stabbing over Parcheesi.
Jerri and her sister went on to win and made more loud mewling noises.
Jeff allowed Jerri to pick two pairs to accompany her to the blowholes. She chose Parvarti and Sandra without much hesitation. Russell was not amused. He and his wife started whispering the horrible things they would do to Jerri and her sister during the finale show. I suspect those two are a real handful on "couples nights".
It was time for the loved ones to depart. Rupert and his wife were in full-on make-out mode and Probst had to pry them apart with a crowbar and a fire hose. I think she might have been trying to stow away in his beard.
At the blowholes, the group was greeted by a wizened old guy who looked a lot like Don Ho. Only less dead. He showed them the blowholes and entertained them by tossing coconuts into the holes to have them explode skyward.
Sandra: "I'd be scared to go by that hole...what if I fall in?" Don't worry, Sandra. I don't think the ocean wants you either.
Parvarti: "The best part of the trip was having the Sprint Palm Pre there so we could take all kinds of pictures!" Oh, well played. That's a shipment of twenty units to miss Parvarti's home.
The girls talked about how irritated Russell was to be excluded from the trip and made a pact that they wouldn't let him vote any of them out.
Russell, for his part, could barely contain his outrage that Jerri hadn't picked him. This was based solely on strategy, of course. It's not like he wanted a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to visit the Alofaaga Blowholes with Don Ho.
Back at camp, the remaining men decided to form their own alliance. Perhaps it was time for Parvarti to go.
That night, when the women returned and everyone tried to sleep, Rupert decided it would be a good time to saw and break up firewood. I think he was cranking some Death Metal on the stereo as well. Needless to say, everyone was pretty irritated with him. At least he wasn't selling their shoes or burning their socks.
Jerri and Russell had a little makeup party. She confessed that the once-in-a-lifetime trip to the Alofaaga Blowholes compliments of Sprint Palm Pre was only "okay".
The Immunity Challenge was, unbelievably, another endurance challenge. Seriously, what is the deal? Can't we have some swimming, a race, a memory game...something besides watching these guys stand stock still for 20 minutes or more at a time?
Hang with me here...what about a Survivor Beauty Pageant? Seriously, how much fun would it be to see Rupert stalking up and down the runway with a come-hither look in his eye during the bathing suit competition. Would Russell try to "enhance"? Seriously, dude, we know that's a pair of frickin' coconuts in there! And then finding out during the talent portion if Sandra actually has any. Ah, well. Maybe next season.
This challenge was to stand still with two poles placed on the back of outstretched hands. The other ends of the poles would be pressed against a horizontal beam to keep them steady. If your pole slips, you're out.
Colby dropped his poles almost immediately. What a tool. Did someone do an identity check on this idiot?
Years from now we'll find out that this look-a-like killed the real Colby Donaldson shortly after his appearance in Survivor: All Stars and has been taking his place all along. You heard it here first.
Sandra, to no one's surprise, was out shortly thereafter.
Russell was next, much to his consternation.
Jerri was holding steady when Probst said "Jerri...poles are dead center right where you want 'em to be...they haven't moved...ooops." Nice jinx, Probst.
This left Parvarti and Rupert. Ever the bridesmaid, Rupert soon lost his grip and was out of the competition. Parvarti wins immunity!
Back at camp was the usual CBS fluff of trying to make us wonder who would be voted off that night. They showed a (now) typical blowup between Russell and one of his alliance (Sandra) and lots of sneaking around and whispering.
At council, Sandra opted to play her immunity idol. Mainly since this was the last day to play it. She thought about not using it, but then came to the conclusion that it certainly couldn't hurt.
I didn't notice any discussion from Colby in the entire tribal council. I wonder if he said anything at all. He was probably still irritated with his brother.
Rupert called for a Villain to flip that evening. It sounded a bit like barking into the wind.
The votes were read: Colby and Rupert's votes went to Sandra and were wasted. Everyone else voted Rupert, sending the psychedelic giant home. He took a long moment to glare at Russell.
This Sunday is the Survivor Finale! Who will make it to the final three? Will Mike Bonham achieve the first ever Survivorfest sweep and pick the final four contestants? Will anyone be able to think of anything nice to say about Candice during the obligatory run-through of the fallen contestants?
Find out next week on...Survivorfest!
Bonus for Dayton folks: On Wednesday, 5/19, there will be a fund-raiser at Campionis for my oldest daughter's Destination Imagination team to support their travel to the Global Competition in Knoxville later this month.
10% of all proceeds, dine-in, carry-out, catering and even margaritas will go to the team. Please support us in the form of wonderful pizza, awesome margaritas and even some raffles! We'll have people there all day, 11 AM to 10 PM. Hope to see you there!
Fresh from tribal council where Danielle took the fall for her "close" relationship with Parvarti, Rupert is feeling renewed and optimistic about his chances. He seems to think that if he can make it through to the final vote that the million dollars is his.
Parvarti and Jerri commiserated over Russell. Seems to be the same story as last season...people bitching and bellyaching about Russell, but then ultimately deciding to ride it out, "see what happens" and continue to work with him. I guess it worked out great for Natalie last season.
Russell, for his part, continued to try to spin lies that he had to get rid of Danielle because she was secretly planning to get rid of Parvarti. No one's buying what you have to sell, Russ.
Tree mail came in the form of a Sprint product placement. None too subtle, either. It's amazing what people will do for money. Ahem.
Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre Sprint Palm Pre
The players got to see videos of their loved ones using the wonder Sprint Palm Pre. When Rupert's wife came on, my oldest shouted out "Rupert's got a wife like that?!? That's amazing!" I suspect she was imagining something like this.
The reward challenge was a Survivor plus loved one competition where the player would bring a bucket of water from the surf and toss it to their loved one's bucket. They would then use that water to fill another bucket to lift a flag.
Reward was a flight to the Alofaaga Blowholes with a nice picnic of burgers and soda with loved ones. Plus an opportunity to take the wonderful Sprint Palm Pre to record the trip. Lucky!
Rupert was paired with his (evidently) lovely wife, Russell with his wife (last seen at last year's final show dressed like a biker-stripper), Colby had his brother (who also seemed like a frat boy goofball), Parvarti had her dad (who now has logged more Survivor time than many actual contestants), Jerri had her sister (the two of them together made the most annoying mewling noises) and Sandra had her favorite uncle (favorite, because he was there when her mother died. No charges have been filed).
It's Rupert and his wife's anniversary! I'm sure when she thought about the possibility of spending an anniversary on a tropical island, Survivor had not popped into her mind.
The challenge was fairly entertaining. Colby almost immediately began fighting with his brother and blaming him for the water not falling into his pail. His brother seemed to be laughing at him. These guys must be a real riot at Thanksgiving. I'm guessing they have an annual T-Day football game, full contact with at least two fights and one concussion per holiday.
Russell's wife, while adding to the water from the bucket, spit to add volume. Now that's class.
Sandra yelled in Spanish for her uncle to cheat by stealing water from the people able to actually reach their partners. He just laughed. She must be a real joy at family events, too. I'm thinking fistfights and stabbing over Parcheesi.
Jerri and her sister went on to win and made more loud mewling noises.
Jeff allowed Jerri to pick two pairs to accompany her to the blowholes. She chose Parvarti and Sandra without much hesitation. Russell was not amused. He and his wife started whispering the horrible things they would do to Jerri and her sister during the finale show. I suspect those two are a real handful on "couples nights".
It was time for the loved ones to depart. Rupert and his wife were in full-on make-out mode and Probst had to pry them apart with a crowbar and a fire hose. I think she might have been trying to stow away in his beard.
At the blowholes, the group was greeted by a wizened old guy who looked a lot like Don Ho. Only less dead. He showed them the blowholes and entertained them by tossing coconuts into the holes to have them explode skyward.
Sandra: "I'd be scared to go by that hole...what if I fall in?" Don't worry, Sandra. I don't think the ocean wants you either.
Parvarti: "The best part of the trip was having the Sprint Palm Pre there so we could take all kinds of pictures!" Oh, well played. That's a shipment of twenty units to miss Parvarti's home.
The girls talked about how irritated Russell was to be excluded from the trip and made a pact that they wouldn't let him vote any of them out.
Russell, for his part, could barely contain his outrage that Jerri hadn't picked him. This was based solely on strategy, of course. It's not like he wanted a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to visit the Alofaaga Blowholes with Don Ho.
Back at camp, the remaining men decided to form their own alliance. Perhaps it was time for Parvarti to go.
That night, when the women returned and everyone tried to sleep, Rupert decided it would be a good time to saw and break up firewood. I think he was cranking some Death Metal on the stereo as well. Needless to say, everyone was pretty irritated with him. At least he wasn't selling their shoes or burning their socks.
Jerri and Russell had a little makeup party. She confessed that the once-in-a-lifetime trip to the Alofaaga Blowholes compliments of Sprint Palm Pre was only "okay".
The Immunity Challenge was, unbelievably, another endurance challenge. Seriously, what is the deal? Can't we have some swimming, a race, a memory game...something besides watching these guys stand stock still for 20 minutes or more at a time?
Hang with me here...what about a Survivor Beauty Pageant? Seriously, how much fun would it be to see Rupert stalking up and down the runway with a come-hither look in his eye during the bathing suit competition. Would Russell try to "enhance"? Seriously, dude, we know that's a pair of frickin' coconuts in there! And then finding out during the talent portion if Sandra actually has any. Ah, well. Maybe next season.
This challenge was to stand still with two poles placed on the back of outstretched hands. The other ends of the poles would be pressed against a horizontal beam to keep them steady. If your pole slips, you're out.
Colby dropped his poles almost immediately. What a tool. Did someone do an identity check on this idiot?
Years from now we'll find out that this look-a-like killed the real Colby Donaldson shortly after his appearance in Survivor: All Stars and has been taking his place all along. You heard it here first.
Sandra, to no one's surprise, was out shortly thereafter.
Russell was next, much to his consternation.
Jerri was holding steady when Probst said "Jerri...poles are dead center right where you want 'em to be...they haven't moved...ooops." Nice jinx, Probst.
This left Parvarti and Rupert. Ever the bridesmaid, Rupert soon lost his grip and was out of the competition. Parvarti wins immunity!
Back at camp was the usual CBS fluff of trying to make us wonder who would be voted off that night. They showed a (now) typical blowup between Russell and one of his alliance (Sandra) and lots of sneaking around and whispering.
At council, Sandra opted to play her immunity idol. Mainly since this was the last day to play it. She thought about not using it, but then came to the conclusion that it certainly couldn't hurt.
I didn't notice any discussion from Colby in the entire tribal council. I wonder if he said anything at all. He was probably still irritated with his brother.
Rupert called for a Villain to flip that evening. It sounded a bit like barking into the wind.
The votes were read: Colby and Rupert's votes went to Sandra and were wasted. Everyone else voted Rupert, sending the psychedelic giant home. He took a long moment to glare at Russell.
This Sunday is the Survivor Finale! Who will make it to the final three? Will Mike Bonham achieve the first ever Survivorfest sweep and pick the final four contestants? Will anyone be able to think of anything nice to say about Candice during the obligatory run-through of the fallen contestants?
Find out next week on...Survivorfest!
Bonus for Dayton folks: On Wednesday, 5/19, there will be a fund-raiser at Campionis for my oldest daughter's Destination Imagination team to support their travel to the Global Competition in Knoxville later this month.
10% of all proceeds, dine-in, carry-out, catering and even margaritas will go to the team. Please support us in the form of wonderful pizza, awesome margaritas and even some raffles! We'll have people there all day, 11 AM to 10 PM. Hope to see you there!
Friday, May 07, 2010
Survivorfest week 12!
Candice goes down, followed by Danielle!
Tonight: Two immunity idols and two tribal councils!
Fresh from voting out Amanda, Jerri is ready to move on to Candice. Nice thank you for flipping her vote.
The Heroes are plenty unhappy with Candice as well. She was about as popular as an IRS agent at a Willie Nelson concert.
Rupert had plenty of anger to throw around. He's also unhappy with Russell who he now views as worse than Johnny Fairplay. Figuring he was headed home that evening Rupert decided to give Russell an earful at camp.
Russell not only took it, he dished out plenty as well: "You the second coming of Christ, Rupert!" Followed by "you a dumbass, Rupert!" I think Russell needs to make up his mind.
The immunity challenge was yet another endurance challenge. This time the players had one arm tied to a chain above their heads, tied to a big vat of colored water. Further, they had to balance on a small stool.
One minute into the challenge and Probst offered a covered dish to anyone who would drop out.
Immediately Sandra and Rupert were out. The dish? Milk and cookies.
A short while later Jeff brought out doughnuts and iced coffee. Colby couldn't drop out fast enough.
For a guy who was likely to be sent home that night, Colby sure didn't kill himself at this challenge.
When Probst came by with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, candy and milk Danielle, Candice and Jerri dropped out.
I can see the CBS executives hiding in the shrubs writing the following: "Note to self...no more endurance challenges after week 10."
Parvarti and Rupert were the only two remaining at the hour mark. Rupert eventually slipped off of his stool and Parvarti won immunity.
As a twist, Probst read a clue to a hidden immunity idol back at camp.
As soon as the tribe returned, they were off and hunting. Sandra came up with the idol. She hid it, and no one appeared to be aware she had it.
After a while Rupert got tired of searching and went to plan B. He pulled a large rock from the creek and stuck it in his front pocket.
Russell immediately noticed the new bulge. Anyone reading this who expects me to write something like "is that an idol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" shouldn't feel too disappointed right now.
Russell believed Rupert had the idol and instructed the Villains to split their votes. Jerri was successful in lobbying for Candice to be the other votee.
At council, Rupert lamented that there were only two Heroes left. Candice officially lost her power ring and cape when she voted Amanda off.
Candice feebly offered that Amanda would have gotten voted off anyway.
Colby: "I have no respect for the excuses!" Hey, Colby...you still have some doughnut on your chin.
Russell declared that Rupert was going home that night, breaching tribal council protocol by not at least pretending that someone else might be getting voted off.
Rupert, for his part, continued to hint that he might have found the idol.
Russell: "If Colby or Rupert didn't find the idol, then they gave up...and I don't think they would give up." Ummm, Russell did you see today's challenge?
Jeff called for the votes and asked if anyone had an idol they wanted to play. Sandra wisely kept quiet and Rupert not-too-subtly fondled his pocket. A good move in that there's a shred of doubt that he still has one.
The votes went in and Candice went out. When the Heroes heard the Villains would split votes, they dumped all of their votes on Candice.
I'm not sure how they knew the Villains would go that way. I thought they should've gone with Colby. I suspect Sandra might have told.
Candice: "I feel like I got thrown under the bus. Karma's a bitch sometimes." Indeed.
Back at camp, Russell was irritated with his alliance and himself for getting outflanked. He's also become worried about how close Parvarti and Danielle seem to be.
The next immunity challenge had three stages:
Stage 1: Players dug for a peg that would be used to slide through a peg maze and then, pointlessly I thought, break a tile. First five would advance. Rupert, Sandra, Russell, Danielle and Parvarti moved on.
Seriously, Colby, when Sandra is whipping your butt in challenges it's time to consider what drinking games you'll be playing with Coach at the Loser's Bar pretty soon.
Stage 2: The players would use pegs to climb a wall. The first three to the top would play for immunity. Russell finished first, easily navigating the wall. Rupert next, followed by Parvarti. Sandra had trouble figuring out how to get down.
Stage 3: A tile puzzle of the Survivor logo. Russell made fairly quick work of this, finishing just ahead of Rupert to win immunity.
Say what you will about Russell, but he always seems to bring his A-game to challenges late in the season.
A monsoon was waiting to greet the tribe as they returned to camp.
Parvarti seemed to be doing all of the planning. You could tell Russell didn't like being second fiddle. He thought it might be a good time to break up pals Danielle and Parvarti.
Russell: "Once Danielle is gone, Parvarti will be so scared that she'll stick to me and vote whoever I tell her to."
Russell told Parvarti that Danielle wanted her gone and he told Danielle that Parvarti was ready to see her go.
He underestimated how close they were. Parvarti was beside herself and insisted on speaking to Danielle.
Russell vehemently protested the move, which revealed that he was lying. As I've mentioned countless times, Russell is one of those liars who has the tell of getting really irritated when you doubt his sincerity.
Russell told Jerri that Danielle was the new target and if she didn't vote that way, she was likely the next to go. Parvarti and Danielle told her to keep her vote on Rupert.
Jerri, once again, was the linchpin of a critical vote.
At tribal council, Danielle seemed to be the only one who was unaware of who was running the show. I'm not sure if it's Russell or Parvarti, but it surely isn't a group that "makes decisions together".
Danielle outed Russell about his lying at council, much to Russell's chagrin. Russell continued to insist he was telling the truth. Russell, everyone is on to you now.
Danielle started crying. The long weeks and physical abuse seemed to be taking their toll.
Russell whispered to Jerri: "vote Danielle!"
The votes were in, no immunity idol was played and Danielle was voted out, just over Rupert.
Next week: Judging by the frosty look that Parvarti gave Russell I'm going on record as predicting that one of the two of them are going home next week.
We'll find out on the next...Survivorfest!
Tonight: Two immunity idols and two tribal councils!
Fresh from voting out Amanda, Jerri is ready to move on to Candice. Nice thank you for flipping her vote.
The Heroes are plenty unhappy with Candice as well. She was about as popular as an IRS agent at a Willie Nelson concert.
Rupert had plenty of anger to throw around. He's also unhappy with Russell who he now views as worse than Johnny Fairplay. Figuring he was headed home that evening Rupert decided to give Russell an earful at camp.
Russell not only took it, he dished out plenty as well: "You the second coming of Christ, Rupert!" Followed by "you a dumbass, Rupert!" I think Russell needs to make up his mind.
The immunity challenge was yet another endurance challenge. This time the players had one arm tied to a chain above their heads, tied to a big vat of colored water. Further, they had to balance on a small stool.
One minute into the challenge and Probst offered a covered dish to anyone who would drop out.
Immediately Sandra and Rupert were out. The dish? Milk and cookies.
A short while later Jeff brought out doughnuts and iced coffee. Colby couldn't drop out fast enough.
For a guy who was likely to be sent home that night, Colby sure didn't kill himself at this challenge.
When Probst came by with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, candy and milk Danielle, Candice and Jerri dropped out.
I can see the CBS executives hiding in the shrubs writing the following: "Note to self...no more endurance challenges after week 10."
Parvarti and Rupert were the only two remaining at the hour mark. Rupert eventually slipped off of his stool and Parvarti won immunity.
As a twist, Probst read a clue to a hidden immunity idol back at camp.
As soon as the tribe returned, they were off and hunting. Sandra came up with the idol. She hid it, and no one appeared to be aware she had it.
After a while Rupert got tired of searching and went to plan B. He pulled a large rock from the creek and stuck it in his front pocket.
Russell immediately noticed the new bulge. Anyone reading this who expects me to write something like "is that an idol in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" shouldn't feel too disappointed right now.
Russell believed Rupert had the idol and instructed the Villains to split their votes. Jerri was successful in lobbying for Candice to be the other votee.
At council, Rupert lamented that there were only two Heroes left. Candice officially lost her power ring and cape when she voted Amanda off.
Candice feebly offered that Amanda would have gotten voted off anyway.
Colby: "I have no respect for the excuses!" Hey, Colby...you still have some doughnut on your chin.
Russell declared that Rupert was going home that night, breaching tribal council protocol by not at least pretending that someone else might be getting voted off.
Rupert, for his part, continued to hint that he might have found the idol.
Russell: "If Colby or Rupert didn't find the idol, then they gave up...and I don't think they would give up." Ummm, Russell did you see today's challenge?
Jeff called for the votes and asked if anyone had an idol they wanted to play. Sandra wisely kept quiet and Rupert not-too-subtly fondled his pocket. A good move in that there's a shred of doubt that he still has one.
The votes went in and Candice went out. When the Heroes heard the Villains would split votes, they dumped all of their votes on Candice.
I'm not sure how they knew the Villains would go that way. I thought they should've gone with Colby. I suspect Sandra might have told.
Candice: "I feel like I got thrown under the bus. Karma's a bitch sometimes." Indeed.
Back at camp, Russell was irritated with his alliance and himself for getting outflanked. He's also become worried about how close Parvarti and Danielle seem to be.
The next immunity challenge had three stages:
Stage 1: Players dug for a peg that would be used to slide through a peg maze and then, pointlessly I thought, break a tile. First five would advance. Rupert, Sandra, Russell, Danielle and Parvarti moved on.
Seriously, Colby, when Sandra is whipping your butt in challenges it's time to consider what drinking games you'll be playing with Coach at the Loser's Bar pretty soon.
Stage 2: The players would use pegs to climb a wall. The first three to the top would play for immunity. Russell finished first, easily navigating the wall. Rupert next, followed by Parvarti. Sandra had trouble figuring out how to get down.
Stage 3: A tile puzzle of the Survivor logo. Russell made fairly quick work of this, finishing just ahead of Rupert to win immunity.
Say what you will about Russell, but he always seems to bring his A-game to challenges late in the season.
A monsoon was waiting to greet the tribe as they returned to camp.
Parvarti seemed to be doing all of the planning. You could tell Russell didn't like being second fiddle. He thought it might be a good time to break up pals Danielle and Parvarti.
Russell: "Once Danielle is gone, Parvarti will be so scared that she'll stick to me and vote whoever I tell her to."
Russell told Parvarti that Danielle wanted her gone and he told Danielle that Parvarti was ready to see her go.
He underestimated how close they were. Parvarti was beside herself and insisted on speaking to Danielle.
Russell vehemently protested the move, which revealed that he was lying. As I've mentioned countless times, Russell is one of those liars who has the tell of getting really irritated when you doubt his sincerity.
Russell told Jerri that Danielle was the new target and if she didn't vote that way, she was likely the next to go. Parvarti and Danielle told her to keep her vote on Rupert.
Jerri, once again, was the linchpin of a critical vote.
At tribal council, Danielle seemed to be the only one who was unaware of who was running the show. I'm not sure if it's Russell or Parvarti, but it surely isn't a group that "makes decisions together".
Danielle outed Russell about his lying at council, much to Russell's chagrin. Russell continued to insist he was telling the truth. Russell, everyone is on to you now.
Danielle started crying. The long weeks and physical abuse seemed to be taking their toll.
Russell whispered to Jerri: "vote Danielle!"
The votes were in, no immunity idol was played and Danielle was voted out, just over Rupert.
Next week: Judging by the frosty look that Parvarti gave Russell I'm going on record as predicting that one of the two of them are going home next week.
We'll find out on the next...Survivorfest!
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