Survivorfest - week 13!

Shambo is mulleted out the door as we head to the season finale this Sunday!

Fresh from tribal council Brett is seen giving Shambo a mullet massage.  Yet another indelible Survivor image that will remain forever burned into my mind.

For someone who hadn't said much of anything all season long, Brett certainly won't shut the heck up now.  He was also spotted quoting Ephesians to Natalie.  Have we ever seen a Survivor be this quiet and in the background and suddenly appear out of nowhere in the final two weeks of the season?  It's almost like they inserted another player when we weren't looking.  Hmmm....maybe they did.

Whatever or whomever he is, he seemed to make an impression on Natalie. It was off-putting hearing her talk about discussing the great Christian books of the Bible while sitting in the surf in a tiny bikini.

Evil Russell was starting to get a little tired of Shambo.  The stink of her breath, her mane of mullet, her ever-running mouth...hard to tell what's really doing it for him.  I guess it's the hair:  "She hides food in there!  Bananas and peanuts!"

Probst later asked her how long she had been rocking that particular hairstyle.  "23 years!  That's a long time for one hairstyle!"

Shambo:  "You don't mess with perfection, baby!" followed by "feels good, looks good, love it love it love it!"  I just threw up a little in my mouth.  Of course I probably shouldn't talk.  Having the right mix of hereditarial genes means that, if I'm lucky, I'll have this same hairstyle for the rest of my life.

The reward challenge was a gigantic game of "Kerplunk" using ropes and coconuts.  First team to drop 100 coconuts lost. Reward was a trip to a nearby village for a feast and a nice night sleeping with pillows and blankets.

Evil Russell and Natalie were chosen at random for captains.  Russell chose Jaison and Shambo (Shambo was the last one remaining, so she wasn't "chosen" so much as "left").  Natalie took her new spiritual leader, Brett, first followed by Mick.

While Russell's team took their turn, Natalie turned and asked Brett if he was also a "prayer warrior".  Surprise!  He was!  She and Brett spent some time asking the Lord to help them in their quest to win a million (before taxes, right Mr. Hatch?).  They included teammate Mick in the prayer, but he rolled his eyes a bit, so I think it didn't count.

Natalie's first rope pull was a success compared to Russell's and they took an early lead.  Yay, God!

Evil Russell's team was quickly behind by a significant margin when Natalie put the line on the coconut and dropped 'em all up...no wait...she unleashed scores of coconuts from the heavens...no, no...let's just say that things went poorly from that point on and Evil Russell, Shambo and Jaison were headed for reward.

They arrived at the village where Shambo was attacked by the Samoan natives who threw rocks and spears at her while screaming "Die!  Die, jungle she-devil!"  Oh, I'm just kidding.  I think they were too scared to attack her, so they attempted to appease her by stuffing her with all the foods and alcohol their village could offer in the hopes that she would leave them in peace.

Jaison reminded us how things looked from the angle of a perennial loser:  "I didn't know what a reward was...I've never been on one.  Hey, reward is awesome!"

Back at camp the remaining players had their own reward celebration by collecting snails, which they gobbled down on the beach.  Hey, at least they didn't have to deal with a drunk Shambo that night.

Back at camp, the strategies continued.

Natalie is still in with Russell all the way to the final two:  "Two brains are better than one!"  I wonder where Russell's going to get the other one...

Evil Russell:  "We need to get rid of Brett.  He isn't bigger than me or stronger than me or faster than me."  Says the guy who has yet to win a challenge.

The immunity challenge was a race to a clearing where there were several items to be counted.  The player would take the numbers and return to a playing table where they would use those numbers to form a combination to open a lock, extract a club and beat the remaining players to death.  Just kidding, but seriously, where's the Survivor aspect in all of this?

Brett and Mick raced ahead and were the first to believe they had all of the correct numbers for their combinations, followed by Russell.  Only God knows what Natalie and Shambo were doing.

Brett finished first to win immunity!  I'm starting to think that they extracted Brett while everyone else was sleeping and snuck in Ozzie.

The talk around camp centered around who should go home that night.  Mick or Shambo?

Shambo's down with Russell's plan to remove Mick, although she was concerned when Jaison kept ending furtive conversations every time she approached.

Mick was down with voting off Shambo since...well, it wasn't him.  He's officially reached the point of the game (if he's ever been anywhere else) where he's just cruising along and hoping for the best.  Frankly Evil Russell seems to be the only one since Jonathan got blind-sided that has been doing any planning in this game.

Evil Russell seems undecided about who to keep around.  He likes the idea of Mick because he can help beat Brett in the physical challenges.

At council, the remaining players admitted that they were starting to think about the end game.

They were all worried about Brett because he hadn't been blindsiding anyone and most of the remaining jury was Galu.  No one said it, but I think they were all hoping to be left with Russell at the end because there was a good chance that everyone would be really pissed at him.

Mick dropped a bomb when he indicated to Probst that he had played just an aggressively strategic game as Russell.  Really?  Which season are you watching, Mick?

This was Russell's last week to play a hidden immunity idol, but as a show of panache he decided not to play it, and to keep it as a souvenir.  Erik was going nuts on the jury.  I couldn't tell if he was ready to explode with rage and frustration or if he's now Russell's biggest fan.

The votes went in and Shambo went out.  Whoever they used for her "family moment" had an interesting head of hair as well.  Very 80's.  I suspect she's got another sister who has some 90's thing going on.

This Sunday is the finale where we rehash those who have been voted off before, a few more people get voted out, and we wrap this season up!

See you next time on...Survivorfest!