Survivorfest - week 11!

It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who got blind-sided this week!

Fresh from council after Laura was cast out after one of her Galu brethren decided he'd rather see her gone than to have a one in ten chance at going himself, Shambo was exultant:  "Medusa has been dethroned!"  I think Sham was mixing her Greek mythologies, but you can forgive her excitement as this was one of the few councils where she actually knew what was going to happen and got to vote for the person who was actually leaving.

John rationalized his decision as rather having Laura go than him taking a small risk.  He didn't seem to be aware or to care that he'd further fractured the quivering mass that was once mighty Galu.  I don't disagree with his thinking, but I'd have loved to see the results of the random stone draw to see who would leave.  If Mick would have been at risk I'm surprised he didn't consider doing the same thing to Natalie.

Monica wasn't happy with having her BFF voted off:  "At some point you need to show loyalty and integrity [in this game]."  Yeah, but I think that was weeks 1-5 maybe.  All bets are off this close to a million bucks, sister.

My oldest pointed out that Monica was just grouchy because (much like Shambo) the people she wants to get voted off seem to stick around.

Survivor auction!

Everyone was thrilled to have an envelope full of cash (fake cash?) waiting for them at tree mail.  It meant the opportunity to buy something that they could eat.

Natalie quickly tossed in 200 smackaroos for a PB&J.  This is where mistakes are often made.  You know that there's better stuff coming, so why cash in on a sandwich?

Shambo paid $240 for a covered dish.  It ended up being sea noodles.  Some kind of sea animal intestines.  I think they had to eat it for a challenge several weeks back.  To her credit, she was happy for the protein and gobbled it down.

Monica spent $340 for another covered dish which turned out to be a whole roasted chicken.  Finger-lickin' good!

The next item was a weird, candle-looking thing that would provide help in the next challenge.  Jaison put on his big boy pants and spent his full $500 on it.  He would find out what it was for later.

Mick spent his $500 on a beer and cheeseburger.  At least at Fuddrucker's you get table service for that kind of change. 

The next item was a clue to the hidden camp idol.  John bought it for $200.  I could almost hear Evil Russell chuckling to himself as he forked over the cash.

Natalie spent $120 for a shower.  John was part of the bidding but let her have it:  "Nobody wants to see me take a shower".  Oddly the shower stall was right out in front of everyone.  As she undressed and started to wash herself they started playing Survivor-style porn music.  Bow-chicka-wow-wow.  Good stuff.  I suspect they brought in extra cameras for the inevitable Suvivor Samoa:  Uncensored!

The next item was a large piece of apple pie.  John won it for $300.  The catch was that he could eat the pie or get an entire pie to share with his tribe.  John opted to have just the one piece all to himself.  I'm not clear if he had taken the whole pie if he would not have gotten some himself.

Nevertheless he didn't engender much good will with his buds.  Evil Russell was especially critical of the "bad play".

Watching the commercial for the show Medium.  How did Patricia Arquette make it into show business with such bad teeth?  Crooked as a dog's hind leg.

Back at camp John looked for the hidden idol with his clue.  When he was unable to find it, he assumed Evil Russell had already located it.  Turns out he was right.

It was time, evidently, to eat the chickens.  In the Thanksgiving show Evil Russell had opened the cage door to let them out and create further chaos.  Evidently that didn't go anywhere or the chickens had figured out that escaping wasn't a great option for them.  Turns out they were wrong about that.

Shambo took the news hard, and apologized to her feathered buddies:  "I'll talk to you when I get to heaven..."

Okay, two things on that:

1.  Are there chickens in heaven?
2.  If there are, can you get into heaven after murdering and eating them and then do you get to talk to them?

I need to know these things.

Mick and Evil Russell did the deed and soon Shambo took ownership of cooking up her little darlings.

Dave decided that this would be a good time to start a fight over how Sham was cooking the chicken.  Probably a bad idea since Shambo was in such a fowl mood...Hehehhehehee...cause the chickens were..sigh.  You try being funny after ten weeks.

That night Shambo had a nightmare that the dead chickens came back to her and told her that she should divest herself of all worldly goods, shave her head and devote the remainder of her life to the great chicken god Colonel Sanders.  That didn't actually happen, but if there are chickens in heaven and any of them have a sense of humor, I think they would have done that.

No, Shambo dreamed that the tribe would vote off Dave at next council.  She believed this would come to pass because she's always been somewhat clairvoyant and believed that it was God's divine inspiration.  I dunno.  Seems like if you're willing to believe that God interrupted your sleep to instruct you to vote Danger Dave off at next council to improve your chances at winning a million dollars, then the chicken god thing doesn't sound quite so crazy, does it?

Evil Russell made sure to egg her on.  He believes in her visions as well, especially when it comes to voting other people off the show.

The immunity challenge was a heavy log at the end of a knotted rope.  After several minutes each player would switch hands and drop back one knot on the rope and repeat until they held on to the unknotted end.  The last one to drop their log would win immunity.

Jaison's reward from the auction was to move forward two knots at any time.

It was a hot and steamy day in Samoa that day, my friends, and our lovable band of castaways courageously battled to keep their sweaty little mitts on the rope.

On the fourth knot everyone was still in the challenge.  Jaison elected to use his auction helper at this point.

Shambo dropped out first, followed quickly by Evil Russell.  He had a charley horse in his forearm, evidently.  I'm starting to wonder if Evil Russell is one of those guys who will never win an individual immunity challenge. 

Monica was out next.  Then John and then Brett.

Shockingly, Natalie was still in it!  I wonder if her freshly cleaned hands were somehow extra sticky.

Mick dropped out.  There goes Natalie.  Jaison and Danger Dave were left.  Dave futilely grasping at his rope end and Jaison looking surprisingly uncomfortable hanging onto his second knot.  Dave eventually gave in to fatigue.

Jaison wins immunity!  Jaison actually won an immunity challenge!  Well, technically he bought the win, but still...I had visions of him being another one not to win a challenge despite being a "physical player".

I can tell you this for certain...if he hadn't bought that helper at auction he would certainly have lost to Dave.

Back at camp Evil Russell and Jonathan were talking about who from Foa Foa should be sent home that night.  John wanted Mick out.  John reminded Evil Russell that he agreed to vote out a Foa Foa person next.  It was a shame to waste the oxygen that Russ used to lie with his reply.

Russ then asked where John had been looking for the idol in a curious how-do-you-like-the-weather-sort-of-way.

John told him and Russ couldn't help but fess up to finding the idol days earlier.  The man simply cannot help himself.  Think of the fun he could have had letting John run around the whole of Samoa looking for an idol that wasn't there.

He laughed to the camera and said "these poor people should close they ears when I start to talk!  'Cause I slipped and told John that I had the idol and now he gotta go!"

Evil Russell went to Danger Dave and told him that he was "next".  Dave seemed rather bewildered but believed it.  He readily accepted Russell's plan to vote John off next.

Russell soon had everyone convinced that Jonathan was the biggest threat (he avoided the topic with Shambo who was still on her vision quest).

Jaison was the lone voice of concern...they were about to do to Shambo what her old tribe had done:  tell her they were voting one way and then go the other.  The main difference was that this meant that Galu would no longer have the majority.

At council Laura still seemed a little steamed.  She wouldn't look at her former tribemates.  This is going to be a tough tribal council for someone.

Probst probed a little as to how the votes would go that night.  When Evil Russell indicated that his vote would be strategic, Shambo did a double take.

This surprised me.  Normally someone with as little self-awareness as her would see her reasoning around taking out Dave and add all kinds of rationale behind it:  he's clever, he's tough at challenges, he wants to finish off Foa Foa, etc.  She seemed to realize that her interest in getting him gone was less about strategy and more about some type of chicken-induced vengeance.

The votes were in and Jonathan went through the classic signs of Survivor denial.

first vote:  Heh.  The guy that I'm voting off wrote my name down.  Poor, deluded bastard.
second vote:  Heh.  Hey, what?
third vote:  Uh, oh...
fourth vote:  Oh, crap!  Why didn't I bring my stuff tonight?

Next week let's see if the blindsides continue on....Survivorfest!