Survivorfest week 3

Ben is free to go home and wonder why no one confused him for J.T.

After the evening's tribal council it appeared Mick and Jaison were having some regrets about ditching Betsy. The more Jaison thought about it, the more he was offended by Ben's rants toward Yasmin.

Evil Russell is grouchy because no one else in camp seems to be strategizing other than him. I think he feels a bit like his talents are being wasted.

Case in point, his discussion with Natalie, where he began asking her about her thoughts on the next challenge, who she'd like to see voted off next when they lose said challenge, etc. He was disappointed when she seemed dazed and confused..."Um, like....is today Tuesday? We have a challenge today?" Some people were not meant to go deep into this game.

Speaking of Natalie, did anyone else think that, with her hair up, she looked like Wilma Flintstone?

According to Evil Russell's bio sheet (which may or may not be accurate) he is married. Anyone else wonder what his wife looks like? I suspect it's either some young, smoking hot, mysterious Asian girl or his female twin. I'm hopeful that he sticks around long enough for a "loved ones" session so we can put that question to rest.

Evidently Ben is the only one at Fao Fao who can make fire. And he's more than happy to explain that. I thought it was kind of funny when he told Liz that girls couldn't make fire because their hands weren't strong enough to strike the flint right. Seriously...don't even try.

I did appreciate a little inside Survivor info compliments of Ben: "Did you poop yet? I finally went last night! It was like the biggest poop of my life!" I think he was actually looking for a high five. Anyone else here ever get high-fived over poop? After the age of three, of course.

On Galu, the tribe seemed to be taking things in stride. Laura led a group of them in yoga, much to Shambo's irritation. "Screw yoga, man!" makes it into the Survivorfest hall of fame for quotes.

Anyone else think that Erik was dressed like a 1980's flashdancer? Seriously, dude, the low rise briefs and the thigh-high socks? Not a good look.

Back at Fao Fao, Evil Russell decided to get started on his next plan, and told Ben that Ashley was out to get him. Ben promptly went over to Ashley and confronted her on why she wrote his name down the night before.

Ashley "how did you know?"
Ben "It wasn't Russell and I'm not gonna tell you!"

Hmm. That was a pretty amazing piece of deception there, Ben. Fortunately Ashley doesn't seem to be the sharpest knife in the drawer.

The pre-challenge tree mail came with a nice treat for the viewers. Custom-cut, designer made bikinis! But only for the remaining hotties, evidently. Probably just as well. The thought of Evil Russell in a Speedo gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Several of the Galu girls did a little fashion walk with their new suits. I think they were auditioning for a future Playboy spread "the Girls of Survivor!". How is it possible that this hasn't been done yet?

The challenge for this week was a run through the surf past a defender to reach a crate. The crate would be dragged back to shore and assembled with other crates retrieved by other teams of players. These crates would be stacked to form a set where only one color of each set could face each side.

Probst warned the contestants that this challenge "would be physical!".

Turned out to be pretty lame, really. I think the contestants were given a stern talking to about behaving themselves after the last sordid challenge. Most of the activity was around holding people, dragging them past the "safe zone" line and, of course, pulling tops off.

The only point of interest for me was at one point it looked like a couple of the guys were going to drown Mick. I wonder if that would have been against the rules.

I did enjoy watching Laura avoid Ashley by splashing her with water. It was like the scene from "the Naked Gun" where Leslie Nielsen/Frank Drebin has a pillow thrown in his face and he's all "Aarrggghhhh!!!"

Russell S didn't seem very effective as a defender. They seemed to just race right by him.

Galu went on to another decisive victory. No one seemed to notice Evil Russell's sly smile. I think his horns are starting to show.

As leader of Galu, Russell was given the choice of a comfort reward (blankets and pillows) or functional reward (fire, tent stuff, etc.). He made the decision to go with comfort.

"I'm a function guy, but I think this is a comfort group." He also related to the camera that he wanted to keep the girls happy. Well, that should provide for some nice, comfortable mats for their yoga parties.

In case anyone was wondering, Fao Fao is Samoan for "loser". I looked it up.

Russell also elected to send Shambo over to Fao Fao for the night. She made an immediately positive impression, unlike Yasmin who practically instigated a race riot.

Turns out Galu calls Mick "McDreamy". I will now add that information to the list of things I could have happily died without knowing. Other items on that list? Six of the eleven secret KFC herbs and spices, Franklin D Roosevelt's full middle name and the reason behind the popularity of Twitter. But that stuff is best left for another blog.

Shambo also got the clue for the hidden idol that was in Evil Russell's possession. She began looking in earnest. She seemed to find the right tree, but had no way of knowing that the idol was now missing. She was determined, though. I think the only thing sticking out from under that tree was her feet. Kinda wondered what everyone else at camp thought she was doing, particularly since she continued to have a conversation with them as she was digging.

At Galu, Russell tried to explain his decision on the comfort reward. "I have a wife and kids, but they're not here...right now you guys are part of my women." Unfortunately he didn't seem to be talking to just the women. Erik, what do you think? Are you Russell's new biotch?

Back at Fao Fao, Mick does the whole "I'll be straight and never lie to you" thing with Evil Russell. To help seal the dead, ER showed Mick his immunity idol. I am still convinced that he just likes showing it to people because he needs to be told how clever he is. I will be surprised if he doesn't show a new person each week moving forward.

ER: "I was born for this! This is what God made me for!" I was willing to bet it that he was made to be a walking advertisement for birth control, but what do I know?

Jaison has decided that he's had all he can stand of Ben. Either Ben goes or he does.

This put a crimp in ER's plan to rid the camp of Ashley. Jaison indicated that he was going to lay into Ben at council that night and if they didn't want to vote Ben off, they would have to deal with what that meant at camp the next day.

True to his word, Jaison got into it with Ben at tribal council that night.

Jaison is too nice and well-spoken to have had much of an impact, however. After Ben reiterated that Yasmin was ghetto trash ("she's from the ghetto and she's trash!") The best he could come up with was something like "Okay, you...southern gentleman...you might like NASCAR and women with lower back tattoos!"

My favorite part was when Jaison lectured him about speaking so poorly to a lady, to which Ben replied "That bitch ain't no lady!" CBS's operators are standing by to hear your complaints!

The vote was attended to. I was surprised how neat Ben's handwriting was. You know...for a racist hick.

Ben was voted out in a landslide.

I was a little surprised that he didn't have some choice parting words for his tribe as he left. Maybe he did and CBS just cut them.

About his early departure "They're all a bunch of sissies, except Russell! They're gonna starve without me!"

Guess we'll find out next week on....Survivorfest!