Survivorfest week 7

Out of respect for Russell, there was no one voted off the previous week.

Back at camp Galu, the guys wanted to re-establish control over the tribe, now that there was an equal mix of guys and gals. Their thought was to foster a relationship with Shambo to vote off one of the girls.

Erik: "Even though she's a chick she doesn't fit in with the other girls." Later they figured the could "burn her".

Further, the guys determined that if they made Shambo the leader she would feel important and indebted.

The Galu tribe gathered around and quickly voted. Shambo was the new chief. The other women in the tribe were not happy.

Monica: "The way we voted was so stupid!" I guess she would have appreciated it more if they had used the electoral college system rather than a popular vote.

Shambo decided it was a good time to give a short victory speech. She was wrong.

At Foa Foa, the lack of a vote and seeing Russell leave early inspired them to a foolish sense of optimism.

Anyone else think that Jaison is starting to walk like an old man?

The reward challenge was a memory game where a series of small huts had various camp items that, when matched, would give the team a point. If the team opted to keep one of the matched items, they would forfeit the point.

Reward was lunch on a sail boat and one member of the winning tribe would spend time with the other tribe.

Probst noted that Shambo now wore the chief necklace. He asked her if she was surprised to have been selected.

Shambo: "Not so much." Modesty is over-rated in a leader anyway.

For her first executive decision Shambo made three curious decisions:



1. she sat herself out

2. she sat Danger Dave out

3. When she had to choose a chief to act in her place, she chose Erik only to have Dave quickly overrule her with a "No!! Brett! Brett!" Shambo: "I stand corrected"



I could see holding herself and Dave out so that they could perform better on the immunity challenge, assuming she was thinking that far ahead, but would a real Marine sergeant be happy to have one of her first decisions countermanded like that? In the Marines I think Dave would be getting treated to a couple of miles in full gear and a dinner that tasted like ass.



Laura found the first match and Brett elected to keep the firestarting material and forego the points.



Galu then went off to lead and never look back.



Shambo decided to send Laura to the other tribe and miss the boat lunch. Laura was not happy to go and I noticed that Dave didn't tell her to change her mind. Shambo's reasoning for sending her was that she wanted to keep her guys strong for the challenge and she'd already been there herself a couple of time.



Laura made fast friends with Foa Foa. They might be losers, but they're hospitable.



Evil Russell took her aside on a crab hunting trip. He claimed to be a father of twins and the son of a preacher. I wonder if any of that is remotely true.


Turns out Laura's father is a pastor. She wouldn't follow him into that job because she didn't believe that a woman's place was leading a congregation. CBS operators are standing by for your calls!



Evil Russell and Laura struck up an alliance. Evil Russell promised that she'd reach the final three with him and Natalie. Liz responded with "you're my brother of another mother!" I bet that made her pastor father feel really great.



As they were walking back to camp Evil Russell told her not to worry about the hidden idol clue because Ben had found it and left it hidden when he was voted off. Man, this guy is good!



On the sail boat the group enjoyed a sumptuous lunch of limes and gruel and then were asked to help work the riggings.



Anyone else think that Erik, with his buff covering most of his face, looked like Mort from the Bazooka Joe comics? Okay, that was a little obscure.

Danger Dave grabbed the wheel and yelled: "I feel like a pirate ready to rob some booty! A little wenching...a little grogging...a little more wenching..." I think Danger Dave is just about ready for his own late night talk show.

Back at camp Foa Foa Laura and Natalie are getting chummy. Laura shared how she and her husband liked to ride Harleys. She wanted to make sure that everyone understood that they weren't "badasses" or anything. Whew.

In the meantime Liz was getting a little ticked off that they were having a coffee klatch while she was trying to start a fire to make food and potable water.

Brett looks like he's about twelve years old.

The immunity challenge required the players to paddle a skiff out to an area where some fish-shaped puzzle pieces were attached to buoys in the water. They would have to fish out the buoys, bring the skiff back to shore and complete a puzzle.

Before they started, Probst noted that Mick wasn't wearing his chief necklace and asked why. Mick indicated that the tribe was starting to suspect that it was bad luck and decided to leave it back at camp. Yeah, I'm sure it was bad luck and not sucking at challenges that did it.

I was hoping that Probst was going to make him go and get it.

The paddling and fishing sequence was pretty lame. The only thing of interest was Danger Dave getting tired of hearing all of Shambo's "leadership". Evidently she equates leading with being loud.

At one point he said: "Shambo, if you'd be quiet that'd be great." Truthfully, when one is fishing, there's nothing worse than someone yelling "go, Dave, go!! Fish that thing out!!"

By the time they got the skiffs back to shore Jaison was more spent than a teenager's credit card limit. I think there were four forks sticking out of him. Further, it looked like he had been eating sand.

The fish puzzle seemed tougher than many of the previous ones and Foa Foa struggled. Jaison kept trying to think out loud and Liz kept shushing him.

In the end, Galu overtook them and won immunity. So much for the bad luck necklace. I was proud to see that Probst mentioned that as well.

Back at camp Foa Foa Evil Russell was starting to wonder if keeping Jaison around was a good idea. He didn't like that he quit on the challenge. I thought at this point that he would stick with his plan to get rid of Liz because Jaison, while having the potential of being a threat physically, has been a terrible player.

My reasons:

1. He hasn't won much of anything, so he's no Ozzie or James type of threat
2. He's way too honest...he couldn't even stand to be around Ben when voting him off clearly was not their best plan.
3. When he was alone with Liz at camp he spent all of his time moaning about how much he sucked at the challenge and how embarrassed he was. After a poor performance like that you should be strategizing and trying to work the angles, not crying about how bad you've done.

CBS made a big show of making it look like the rest of the tribe wanted to oust Jaison and keep Liz, but since that's all the footage they showed it seemed clear that it was an obvious red herring.

At council Probst was tough on them "There's no sense rehashing your failures...You're one of the worst tribes in Survivor history!"

Actually, I'd like to dispute that. They actually won a reward challenge, they were ahead in several challenges and competed in virtually all of them. I can remember a few seasons where teams practically lost within the first minute of every challenge.

I think Evil Russell is looking less and less crazy the past couple of weeks. I wonder why that is.

Jaison took a lot of the blame for the losses on himself at tribal council. Another reason why I don't think he'll last too long. Too easy to remove and too sympathetic for people to want him to stick around to the final four.

Indeed, Liz was voted out.

Her family moment was odd. Only one person was on the video, not sure if he was a husband, fiancee or brother. He said "We're proud of you win or lose...but if you win, half sounds about right!"

Maybe it was her lawyer.

Tribes merge next week on...Survivorfest!

Survivorfest - week 6!

Russell S passes out of the game!

Just after voting yet another tribe member off, Foa Foa returned to a cold and wet camp. The non-stop rain and lack of shelter had obviously begun to take a significant toll on our remaining castaways. The only person who seemed comfortable was Evil Russell.

I'm not clear if it was the old adage that misery loves company or if it was that significant layer of belly fat that was keeping him warm and happy. I could go either way.

Evil Russell chimed in with a nice Survivor Hall of Fame Quote: "If you don't throw up after every challenge you're not doing your job!" I'm going to try that at work. New software release successfully deployed? Check. Applications up and running? Check. Mass amounts of vomit? Check. Who's got clean up duties this week?

Jaison was definitely not coping well. It may have had something to do with the way his hands and feet looked like they were going to fall off. At one point Evil Russell brought him to the water to warm up and he just started laughing hysterically. I'm starting to wonder if he's going to be able to stick things out if the Foa Foa fortunes don't change soon.

Mick wedged himself into the crook of a tree to keep himself warmish and somewhat dry. He also appeared close to the breaking point.

I think it would be interesting to have Probst come to camp bearing a warm robe, slippers and a small tarp and see if anyone wanted to drop out. No? Maybe you'd like to drop out if I offered up some...hamburgers and beer! A massage with chocolate chip cookies?

Back at camp Galu, the tribe continued to lament Russell S's earlier decision to eschew tarps for blankets and pillows. Russell seemed intent on making up for it by working hard at keeping a fire going through the consistent rains.

He kept alluding to being cold, yet he spent most of his time without a shirt. Put on a damned shirt if you're cold! Even if it's wet it should provide some amount of insulating layer. Or throw on some palm leaves or something.

The rain ended and spirits started to rise. IQs stayed in the basement, however. Russell S: "Loooook! There's blue sky out there! And rainbows". That should have been the first sign that something wasn’t quite right with ol’ Russell.

The reward for today's challenge? Piping hot pizza! The rewards challenge was to strap one tribe member into a sphere and have two blind-folded members push him/her around a path to a tabletop maze where the person in the sphere would guide the blind-folded members into...ah, nevermind. It never got that far.

Foa Foa took a modest lead with the ball rolling when Galu got caught up against a tree. When Galu made it to the tabletop maze, Russell S. had started to show signs of exhaustion. With some coaxing he made it to the table where he promptly passed out.

He lay slumped over his corner for quite some time before people started wondering what he was doing. The blindfold didn't help, since you couldn't see any of his face.

Probst called a halt to the game and brought in the medical staff.

To say Russell was out of it would be like saying Kanye West was out of the running for president of the Taylor Swift fan club. He lay down with his eyes rolled back.

Eventually he started speaking, but he clearly wasn't rowing with all oars. I'm pretty sure he said something like this in a very small voice: "I had a dream about a wicked man who took all my clothes and made me hungry...and you were there...and you were there..."

Probst called off the challenge. There would be no piping hot pizza for the winning tribe. The cameramen rejoiced! The pizza would not go to waste. Both tribes, however, would have a date at tribal council that night to vote someone off.

After a while he started to become a little more lucid...until they tried to get him to sit up again. He promptly went la-la again, becoming completely unresponsive.

The medical tech said "his blood pressure is even lower than Mike's was". Well, Russ, at least you won at something.

Probst tried to explain to Russ that he was finished with the game and would be sent home. Russell tried to argue, but it just became pitiful. "You don't want it to end this way, do you?" I'm not sure if he was talking to Probst or himself at that point.

They removed the fork from him, pulled him onto a stretcher and took him away.

People who had Russell S. earned five points for his exciting, albeit early, exit.

Back at Foa Foa, the tribe was concerned about Russell but also upset that the challenge was cancelled. Since they had a lead at that point they were sure that the pizza was all theirs. I wonder if they remember any of the other challenges where they started out with a lead and then choked on it like Ashley on a sea-slug smoothie...

Liz and Natalie could read the writing on the wall. One of them was going home that night and both of them planned to pack their things for tribal council.

Evil Russell took Nat aside and told her to stay focused and that he was doing his best to swing things so that she stayed and Liz went home. Like him or hate him, he's doing a great job at this game. By doing virtually nothing, he's currying favor with another tribe mate and making it look like a lot of work.

Back at Galu, Shambo tracked down the other three girls of the tribe. They had been deciding to vote her off next. Shambo asked what their thoughts were about the vote that night.

The response: "Um....we're not really sure yet." Those of you familiar with my blog will remember this as the #1 sign that your head is next on the chopping block. Right there along with "Gee, we have a tribal council tonight?" and "make sure to say 'hi' to Fred for me back at the resort...ah, I mean, if you happen to get voted off tonight."

Shambo was on to it, but then fell into the "after all I've done for you" routine where she ticks off how many fires she's made and how much food and firewood she's gathered. At this point, if they're willing to oust you, you're well past the point of talking them out of it based on your merits. If you can't appeal to their sense of self-preservation, you don't have a shot.

The rest of the Galu gang, the guys, had decided on their own that Monica needed to go. They needed just one more vote to get it through and Shambo was more than willing to go along with it.

Just another reason why you should never be upfront with someone that you're about to vote off. It leaves them no option but to find someone else who'd like to screw you. Had the other Galu gals tried to convince her that they were going after someone else, she might have stuck with them.

The guys didn't want to lose the secret by bringing in Shambo, but they had to make sure that they had her vote. This is, after all, the person who blabbed the entire contents of the hidden idol clue to everyone at camp. They had the most transparent hypothetical conversation about it:

Erik: "Shambo, if I were you I think you should vote for the same person you voted for last time."

Shambo: "If you were Erik, which person would you be voting for?"

Erik (who, ironically, is Erik): "Um...maybe the same person you voted for last time."

Shambo: "What about you, Jon...if you were Jon, who would you vote for?"

Jon (also Jon): "Um...maybe I might...look, vote Monica, okay, you idiot!"

Of their concern about the news leaking to the other girls: "Shambo, this needs to be kept between us, so you gotta lock it up, all right?"

Shambo: "No worries!" and offered a fist bump to her new partner in the sight of God and everyone.

Erik: "Pounding fists is not 'locking it up'!"

At tribal council, both teams were there. Quite a crowd. I think most were really happy to have shelter and a warm fire. CBS must let them clean up for council, because none of them looked drenched or especially muddy.

Probst gave an update on poor Russell. He was not coming back. He described the incident as "the single scariest moment I've ever had on the show." Survivorfest player Kate would like to ask if anyone else thought that he looked particularly gleeful about this turn of events. He can hear those Nielsen ratings jingle (or whatever it is that Nielsen ratings do).

Erik was asked about his time on the show. He started babbling about how he spent a lot of time praying to God, Samoa or to the island. I think he got confused and thought he was John Locke on Lost.

Probst then asked Danger Dave about his experiences so far. Dave confided that Survivor was the hardest thing he'd ever done...and he'd a lot of hard things. I swear that if they had given him a moment or Probst had bothered to ask that we would have gotten a Coach story about how he was captured in the Amazon by pygmies or something.

Alas, Jeff moved on to the business at hand. In light of the injury and subsequent removal of Russell from the game, there would be no double-elimination this week!

See you next week for more action on...Survivorfest!

Survivorfest - week 5!

Ashley and her nose piercing get the boot!

At the previous tribal council, no one bothered to tell Shambo the plan and she was one of the odd men out in casting a vote for Monica. Monica knows and has her "in her sites".

Erik is angry at the ocean...I guess because it gets him wet and stuff.

Tree mail for the tribes indicated an upcoming food challenge.

Liz: "It'll maybe like be stuff from the ocean!" She went on to start guessing as to who would struggle with the challenge. "Who do you think is the pickiest eater here?" Not Evil Russell, clearly. She decided that Ashley would have the toughest time.

Anyone else notice Evil Russell's weird beard spots? He has three bald spots on the neck portion of his beard...they're like bowling ball holes.

At the reward challenge, the nasty food awaited...and it seemed covered with flies. Nice touch. I wonder how much research CBS does on the digestive damage that things like sea slug intestines can do. Can you have an allergic reaction? How in the world would you know?

Survivor medical clearance form:

Please list any food allergies that may apply:

__ bird embryos
__ sea slug intestines
__ monkey urine
__ swine semen

The winner of the challenge stood to gain a barbeque feast! I can't help but wonder how long that uncooked meat sat out before, during and after the challenge. Mmmmmmm, triganosis!

The first pair was Shambo and Jaison. Shambo quaffed hers down like a true soldier. Jaison had a little case of the yacks, but managed to put it down.

The two Russells went at it next. Russell H finished his first, with Evil Russell taking a little more time.

Brett and Mick went next. Mick popped his down. Brett looked like he was getting a case of the gooks, but finished it off with style, licking the inside of his glass.

Monica and Liz slurped theirs down. I think that clip would make it into the Survivor fetish hall of fame. You know there are some oddballs out there that loooooove this stuff.

Ashley and Danger Dave went next. Dave polished his off, adding some extra sound effects, I assume for Ashley's benefit. Ashley got most of the way through her glass and then was down to the chunky bits at the bottom. She looked like she was trying to choke herself. She couldn't finish, costing Foa Foa a chance at a picnic.

You know her tribe had to be peeved after putting down all of that mess only to have her fail at a challenge that didn't have a time limit. You'd think she could've gotten it down eventually, wouldn't you?

As the winning tribe, Galu had to send a member to Foa Foa for the day and skip the BBQ. Russell decided to send Shambo. She was not pleased.

"I need my protein!" I'm pretty sure those seas slug intestines had plenty of that!

Russell muttered that she needed to pay for losing a chicken, and that was the price.

Back at Foa Foa, Shambo got some sympathy from her new pals and called for a group hug. Which she got. Even Evil Russell did it. Although in retrospect I think he may have been copping a feel.

Natalie gave Ashley a lot of sympathy. She was pretty nice considering her poor effort. Everyone else didn't seem as forgiving.

Back at Galu, the tribe couldn't seem to get the fire started to begin grilling their reward.

Dave got irritable and started sniping with Russell about it. He didn't want to help unless Russell "asked" him to. Eventually he realized he was causing a scene and apologized and began helping with the fire. A few minutes later, it was blazing.

Dave: "Evidently I'm the only one here who can make fire. I'm trying to downplay my awesomeness." I do that a lot, too. It's hard having awesomeness.

Back at Foa Foa, Shambo continued her blabbery ways and read off the hidden idol clues to the entire camp.

They found the right tree, but it was empty due to Evil Russell's early detective work. Most of the tribe suspected that Ben had found it and had taken it with him when he was voted off.

Liz suspected that Evil Russell had it and even told him so.

As true liars often do, Evil Russell was furious that someone would accuse him of...well, lying. He warned Liz that she was getting on his bad side. "Do you wanna go next?"

The weather began to turn really nasty. Galu finally began to regret their earlier challenge decision about taking blankets and pillow in favor of tent and tarp supplies. How's your Hello Kitty comforter working out for you now?

I can't decide if Danger Dave is starting to look like Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull or a cast reject from Deliverance.

The previous night was cold and very wet. Everyone looked particularly miserable as they lined up for the challenge.

This one was well selected. Nothing better than a strength/endurance challenge after a hard night of cold, rainy weather!

The challenge was for four individuals (two from each tribe) to hold a rope tied to a basket that four other tribe members would toss coconuts at. Each coconut would add weight to the basket until only one tribe remained.

Evil Russell and Liz held ropes for Foa Foa while Russell and someone else held for Galu.

Galu took an early lead on getting the coconuts in the baskets. Jonathan was hitting them like crazy. Jaison started shooting like a point guard, without much success. After a while everyone realized that the two hand toss worked better and the baskets started to fill.

The steady rain turned into a downpour.

Evil Russell dropped out first. He made a good effort, but the other tribe had dropped in too many coconuts. Liz held out longer, but eventually she caved as well.

Of note, Ashley was completely useless.

Back at camp, Foa Foa was stuck under their shelter in the torrential rains. There was no opportunity to talk strategy or weasel around. They decided to make their own decisions for who would be voted off at council that evening.

Jaison was miserable. The dude looked like a leper. Hands and feet all bleached and pruney. His extremeties looked a bit like Carol Channing's. Seems like everyone had similar problems judging by the way they held their hands out like they wanted nothing more but for them to dry out.

At camp, everyone seemed to be happy to be under shelter and by a warm fire. Possibly one of the few times when being at council provided a small advantage. At least they got to dry out.

Probst didn't have a lot to work with at council which confirms my suspicions that he watches the camp interviews before council to try to rile things up. He mostly asked about who trusted whom. Turns out everyone trusts everyone. How unfortunate.

The vote was a landslide, with Ashley getting eliminated. I noted that even her bestest pal, Natalie, wrote down her name. I guess when it's time to go, everyone knows it.

Odd Sears-sponsored "family moment" for Ashley. Her parents and their pair of lapdogs. Not sure what that was about. "We're proud of you, Ash! And so are Sweetums and Snookies!"

Next week, another challenge and another medical event! Who could it be!?!

Find out next week on...Survivorfest!

Survivorfest week 4!

Yasmin has been evicted!

After voting Ben off at council the night before, Jaison seems to have a tough time letting things go. He still fumed about Ben: "I can't stand people who use terms and phrases meant to hurt on a very basic level. Coming here was the worst decision of my life!"

So, the prospect of getting tossed onto a remote tropical location with twenty strangers from all walks of life who wish to star in a reality TV show didn't provide a hint that you might have to deal with an occasional ass or two?

Shambo returned from Foa Foa where she felt she had created "a following". She still groused about the lack of productive camp work at Galu and seemed to look forward to the tribes merging. She seemed to be working under the assumption that Foa Foa would have anyone left after losing all challenges to date.

Erik took Shambo aside with the intent of drilling her for information on the hidden immunity idol for which she must certainly have received a clue. He seemed to be getting somewhere when John came along and butted in and started asking the same questions. Stupid meddling rocket scientists!

Well, Shambo wasn't shy about telling them all she knew. She blabbed everything.

"Sharing knowledge can only help me going forward...Or maybe it could hurt me." Way to think that one out, Shambo.

Tree mail came and the leaders were to choose two people to accompany them to some type of event. Mick took Evil Russell and Natalie, Russell took Danger Dave and Shambo. Evidently he wanted brains and firepower. I'm not sure which he thought was which.

Anyone else think that Danger Dave has an uncanny resemblance to Kevin Spacey? It's starting to get distracting. I am beginning to believe that he has actually entered Survivor to work on his "method" acting to train for an upcoming role as a sociopath deserted on a tropical island. You heard it here first.

Updated Survivor celebrity look-a-like page: http://www.woltermanns.com/Survivorfest/Survivor_celebrity.htm

The six players met in a large ring in a clearing. And sort of stared at each other for a while. Probst was a no-show, so they really didn't know what to do.

On one side of the ring was a chest, on another was a crate of chickens. Naturally Shambo went straight for the chickens.

When they opened the chest they found instructions for a sort of bocce ball challenge. Closest ball to the wicket would get to bring the egg-layers back to camp.

I suspect that Probst was absent because he was accepting his Nobel Prize award in Stockholm. Seriously, couldn't they find someone else to fill in? Maybe Jonathan from the past couple seasons. I don't think he has much work since Down Periscope 2 - Back in Hot Water fell through.

Shambo put the chickens back in the pen and they started the game. Foa Foa took a quick lead and had the wicket circled with their balls. It came down to one last toss for Danger Dave. He nailed it, dropping his ball right on the wicket. Chickens and eggs for Galu!

Curiously, that was the dying phrase uttered by Mahila Sur, the mad prince of Toga in 1823. See, history does repeat itself!

Foa was quite discouraged by the sudden loss. Particularly since they were celebrating pretty prematurely. Mick put it succinctly: "we can't even pull off frickin' bocce ball!"

Back at Galu, while his tribemates were winning little nuggets of cholesterol, Erik was searching feverishly for a hidden idol. And he soon found it!

"I knew it was in this tree! Yes!!" Hmm. If that's the case, why did you look around the rest of camp for the past hour?

Danger Dave played it cool when he returned to camp. He wanted to stay centered even though he was thinking "I won chicken today, what did you do? Nothing! Peace!"

I think he's a couple of weeks away from starting up his own colony of half men/half animals.

At Foa Foa, Evil Russell decided to refine his alliance with Natalie. He felt he needed a tighter bind after Ben was voted off and he was losing faith in Jaison's will to stay in the game.

He insisted he was going to take Natalie to the final two with him. She could rest easy with that knowledge and "ride him like a horse". Yeah, I think I threw up a little in my mouth as well.

Natalie is buying it all: "I'm kind of like a wing man you might say." I wouldn't have gone with that phrase. Nope. More like a meat sandwich, where two escaped Gulag refugees take a weaker third person with them so they don't starve in the Siberian wasteland.

Catastrophe at Galu! One of the chickens managed to outsmart Shambo and escaped!

"Escaped chicken!! 911!" You'd think after being in the Marine's that Shambo would have some cooler phrases to blurt out.

Erik tried to help corral the chicken, hoping to accidentally kill it so he could eat it. In his haste he was clotheslined, ironically, by the clothesline.

The chicken managed to find safety in a nearby tree. Shambo: "I didn't know they could frickin' fly!"

Russell: "You a country girl! How could you not think that something with wings could fly!?!"

Back at Galu, Yasmin watched while Kelly chopped at a coconut. "Watching you is making me sleepy."

My wife asked "Isn't Yaz a birth control pill?" Probably not relevant, but worth mentioning.

The challenge was a net run with players carrying blocks. The blocks would be stacked in a column, then the players could continue over a rope bridge where they would make another block column. First to finish would win immunity.

Galu finished stacking their column slightly before Foa Foa. Foa got screwed as Probst finished Galu's count to five to verify that the tower would remain standing, and then started Foa's count late.

Nevertheless, Foa managed to catch up marginally on the rope bridge when Monica decided to take a little break part way over. They used this break to their advantage and managed to complete their tower first, winning the first immunity for Foa Foa!

Monica muttered: "Gotta keep our head held high!" Well, after that rope bridge performance, I don't think you should be tired...

Back at Galu, the tribe finally have to decide who to vote off.

The leaders to be cast off seem to be:

Shambo: "Shambo's colossal screwups are a shot to the team's morale. She lost a chicken!"
Yasmin: She does nothing at camp
Monica: She totally sucked in that challenge.

Russell is insistent on removing Monica. He believed they need to concentrate on challenges and Yasmin has been a decent player. In theory. I haven't really seen it.

I think the majority of the camp wanted to keep Monica, however. No one said anything in particular, but I think they're worried about voting off too many hot chicks this early in the season. Plus Yasmin does nothing at camp.

Russell: "These people are gonna listen to me or there's gonna be some serious ass kickin'!"

At council, Yasmin wore dress shoes with heels so that she would look fine for Jeff. Nice touch.

Yas was asked about her lack of work ethic at camp. She had the nerve to be offended: "I haven't been working? I can't believe you're bringing this up now! All you had to do was ask!"

She reiterated her awesomeness in challenges. I find it amusing how everyone thinks they bring so much to a team event...that they lost.

Monica, when asked about her role in sucking at the day's challenge, thought she started slowly, but then did just fine. I wonder what challenge she was thinking of.

The voted came in and Yas was cast out in a landslide. As she was walking off of the platform she nearly fell off of her fancy heels. Good stuff, and perhaps something of a metaphor. Whatever that is.

Shockingly, Russell changed his mind and also voted for her. I wonder how that came about?

I guess we'll find out next week on...Survivorfest!

Survivorfest week 3

Ben is free to go home and wonder why no one confused him for J.T.

After the evening's tribal council it appeared Mick and Jaison were having some regrets about ditching Betsy. The more Jaison thought about it, the more he was offended by Ben's rants toward Yasmin.

Evil Russell is grouchy because no one else in camp seems to be strategizing other than him. I think he feels a bit like his talents are being wasted.

Case in point, his discussion with Natalie, where he began asking her about her thoughts on the next challenge, who she'd like to see voted off next when they lose said challenge, etc. He was disappointed when she seemed dazed and confused..."Um, like....is today Tuesday? We have a challenge today?" Some people were not meant to go deep into this game.

Speaking of Natalie, did anyone else think that, with her hair up, she looked like Wilma Flintstone?

According to Evil Russell's bio sheet (which may or may not be accurate) he is married. Anyone else wonder what his wife looks like? I suspect it's either some young, smoking hot, mysterious Asian girl or his female twin. I'm hopeful that he sticks around long enough for a "loved ones" session so we can put that question to rest.

Evidently Ben is the only one at Fao Fao who can make fire. And he's more than happy to explain that. I thought it was kind of funny when he told Liz that girls couldn't make fire because their hands weren't strong enough to strike the flint right. Seriously...don't even try.

I did appreciate a little inside Survivor info compliments of Ben: "Did you poop yet? I finally went last night! It was like the biggest poop of my life!" I think he was actually looking for a high five. Anyone else here ever get high-fived over poop? After the age of three, of course.

On Galu, the tribe seemed to be taking things in stride. Laura led a group of them in yoga, much to Shambo's irritation. "Screw yoga, man!" makes it into the Survivorfest hall of fame for quotes.

Anyone else think that Erik was dressed like a 1980's flashdancer? Seriously, dude, the low rise briefs and the thigh-high socks? Not a good look.

Back at Fao Fao, Evil Russell decided to get started on his next plan, and told Ben that Ashley was out to get him. Ben promptly went over to Ashley and confronted her on why she wrote his name down the night before.

Ashley "how did you know?"
Ben "It wasn't Russell and I'm not gonna tell you!"

Hmm. That was a pretty amazing piece of deception there, Ben. Fortunately Ashley doesn't seem to be the sharpest knife in the drawer.

The pre-challenge tree mail came with a nice treat for the viewers. Custom-cut, designer made bikinis! But only for the remaining hotties, evidently. Probably just as well. The thought of Evil Russell in a Speedo gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Several of the Galu girls did a little fashion walk with their new suits. I think they were auditioning for a future Playboy spread "the Girls of Survivor!". How is it possible that this hasn't been done yet?

The challenge for this week was a run through the surf past a defender to reach a crate. The crate would be dragged back to shore and assembled with other crates retrieved by other teams of players. These crates would be stacked to form a set where only one color of each set could face each side.

Probst warned the contestants that this challenge "would be physical!".

Turned out to be pretty lame, really. I think the contestants were given a stern talking to about behaving themselves after the last sordid challenge. Most of the activity was around holding people, dragging them past the "safe zone" line and, of course, pulling tops off.

The only point of interest for me was at one point it looked like a couple of the guys were going to drown Mick. I wonder if that would have been against the rules.

I did enjoy watching Laura avoid Ashley by splashing her with water. It was like the scene from "the Naked Gun" where Leslie Nielsen/Frank Drebin has a pillow thrown in his face and he's all "Aarrggghhhh!!!"

Russell S didn't seem very effective as a defender. They seemed to just race right by him.

Galu went on to another decisive victory. No one seemed to notice Evil Russell's sly smile. I think his horns are starting to show.

As leader of Galu, Russell was given the choice of a comfort reward (blankets and pillows) or functional reward (fire, tent stuff, etc.). He made the decision to go with comfort.

"I'm a function guy, but I think this is a comfort group." He also related to the camera that he wanted to keep the girls happy. Well, that should provide for some nice, comfortable mats for their yoga parties.

In case anyone was wondering, Fao Fao is Samoan for "loser". I looked it up.

Russell also elected to send Shambo over to Fao Fao for the night. She made an immediately positive impression, unlike Yasmin who practically instigated a race riot.

Turns out Galu calls Mick "McDreamy". I will now add that information to the list of things I could have happily died without knowing. Other items on that list? Six of the eleven secret KFC herbs and spices, Franklin D Roosevelt's full middle name and the reason behind the popularity of Twitter. But that stuff is best left for another blog.

Shambo also got the clue for the hidden idol that was in Evil Russell's possession. She began looking in earnest. She seemed to find the right tree, but had no way of knowing that the idol was now missing. She was determined, though. I think the only thing sticking out from under that tree was her feet. Kinda wondered what everyone else at camp thought she was doing, particularly since she continued to have a conversation with them as she was digging.

At Galu, Russell tried to explain his decision on the comfort reward. "I have a wife and kids, but they're not here...right now you guys are part of my women." Unfortunately he didn't seem to be talking to just the women. Erik, what do you think? Are you Russell's new biotch?

Back at Fao Fao, Mick does the whole "I'll be straight and never lie to you" thing with Evil Russell. To help seal the dead, ER showed Mick his immunity idol. I am still convinced that he just likes showing it to people because he needs to be told how clever he is. I will be surprised if he doesn't show a new person each week moving forward.

ER: "I was born for this! This is what God made me for!" I was willing to bet it that he was made to be a walking advertisement for birth control, but what do I know?

Jaison has decided that he's had all he can stand of Ben. Either Ben goes or he does.

This put a crimp in ER's plan to rid the camp of Ashley. Jaison indicated that he was going to lay into Ben at council that night and if they didn't want to vote Ben off, they would have to deal with what that meant at camp the next day.

True to his word, Jaison got into it with Ben at tribal council that night.

Jaison is too nice and well-spoken to have had much of an impact, however. After Ben reiterated that Yasmin was ghetto trash ("she's from the ghetto and she's trash!") The best he could come up with was something like "Okay, you...southern gentleman...you might like NASCAR and women with lower back tattoos!"

My favorite part was when Jaison lectured him about speaking so poorly to a lady, to which Ben replied "That bitch ain't no lady!" CBS's operators are standing by to hear your complaints!

The vote was attended to. I was surprised how neat Ben's handwriting was. You know...for a racist hick.

Ben was voted out in a landslide.

I was a little surprised that he didn't have some choice parting words for his tribe as he left. Maybe he did and CBS just cut them.

About his early departure "They're all a bunch of sissies, except Russell! They're gonna starve without me!"

Guess we'll find out next week on....Survivorfest!