Survivorfest week 2!

Betsy is put in lockdown!

Back at Fao Fao, Evil Russell was patting himself on the back for ridding Samoa of the ever-dangerous Marisa. "She was a strong woman! I can't have that!" Russell seems like one of these guys who will go on and on about how stupid, worthless, lazy, etc. a person is until they get voted off. Then he will explain, at length, about how impressive he is to have rid himself of such a clever, sly and dangerous opponent.

He took Betsy aside and chastised her because she didn't trust him. Clearly she still didn't and they agreed to continue not trusting each other.

Mick hit the shore wearing some very strange boxers. Yellow with red accents maybe...it looked like he was wearing a dress or bloomers. Very strange.

Back at Galu, Yasmin wonders aloud why everyone else seemed to be weathering the beach better than her. "Why do I look so bad?" to which Dave replied "'Cause you funky, baby!" I don't know what that means, but it sounded funny.

Davis is starting to remind me of Kevin Spacey.

It sounds to me like Yasmin is ready to go home. She spent an inordinate amount of time whining about living outdoors. She did drop a Survivorfest hall of fame quote on us: "People said if you can survive in Detroit you can survive anywhere...I'll tell you this: The hood is not the wood!"

Jaison took Evil Russell aside to try to understand him better. They ended up in (yet another) secret alliance. Evil Russell seemed happy to be paired with Jaison at that point. We'll see how long it lasts.

Say what you will about Evil Russell, but he appears to be a game changer. Back at camp he immediately began looking for a hidden immunity idol. And damned if he didn't find one!

I think this has to set some sort of high mark, since there were plenty of people, given one or more clues, who were unable to find a hidden idol. Evil Russell pulled one out just by looking around.

I suspect future seasons of Survivor will see better-hidden immunity idols.

For those keeping score at home, Evil Russell gets 5 points for finding a hidden immunity idol (even though he wasn't really supposed to).

He was actually being watched by most of the tribe when he found the thing, but managed to hide it in his underwear. My oldest: "Yuck! I don't wanna touch that!" Hopefully Probst will use gloves.

Evil Russell took Jaison off to show him what he had found. I suspect it wasn't so much wanting to maintain the strategy or complete his alliance with Jaison as Evil Russell indicated...I think he just wanted to brag to someone that he found it.

I can't wait to see what ERuss does when he's eventually and inevitably voted off. The over/under is at flipping everyone off and the line is increasing weekly.

The challenge was a battle royal where groups of players fight to gain possession of three balls to toss to their companions to shoot at a hoop.

When they read about this in tree mail Mike was pumped!

"I'm a mean motor scooter and a bad go-getter! I'm gonna go downtown to China town!" I hereby rename Mike as Mr. Cliche.

The tribes did a great job of applying war paint for the challenge. It almost looked like they had help from make-up artists as opposed to the kindergarten scrawls they usually end up with.

The game started with three men vs. three men. Erik went nuts. I think he took a piece out of everybody. Good thing Mick is a doctor. He might be wishing he took dentistry after one hit.

Shambo clocked Liz in the head! Probst: "Easy on the face!" No one wants to watch a reality TV show starring twenty elephant people. Well, maybe they do. I need to send that one in to CBS.

Probst actually had to warn the contestants after the first rounds that the gameplay was getting too rough. No chokeholds or head butts! But pulling off someone's top is still okay...just makes for good reality TV!

During the next match Ben, sporting a peculiar pair of yellow boxer-briefs, tripped good Russell. This earned him banishment from the game for the first time in Survivor history.

Galu ended up winning the competition, but it paled in comparison to the sheer brutality of the match. Those folks were really going after each other. I guarantee you we will not see this game in a future Survivor season.

Probst asked Ben what he thought about being kicked out of the game. His reply? "Outlaw, baby!"

Galu got fishing supplies as their reward. The twist was that they had to choose one of their tribe to join Fao Fao for a day to hang out with them. They chose Yasmin.

She got a clue to take with her and she stood by the rest of the Fao Fao tribe. I couldn't help but notice Evil Russell checking her out, top to bottom. Seriously, anyone who doesn't find this guy creepy should quit walking through parking lots alone at night.

After the challenge, Mike (aka Mr. Cliche) wasn't well. Medical came in and found his blood pressure to be 80/60. After a hard physical challenge, that isn't right. Predictably, he soon passed out.

Medical staff's recommendation: Mike was done for the game. He was evacuated to a hospital.

Yasmin was crying like a baby, which is funny because she doesn't even belong to that tribe. Not to miss an opportunity to expound, Mike declared "It stinks ta have to leave the game, but dose guys never got me down in da pit!" Well except the one part where Erik dislodged your spleen with his shoulder.

For those keeping score at home, Mike gets 5 points for being a medical reject. He also is considered as the second person out of the game, should a loveable loser tie breaker be necessary.

Back at Galu, Shambo insisted on spear fishing with the new equipment. Unfortunately the water turned out to be murky and she didn't have any luck. In fact, she not only caught any fish, but she spent time floating around instead and managed to lose the mouthpiece for the snorkel.

Not an auspicious start.

At Fao Fao, Yasmin made an immediate impression. She stepped up, called everyone's attention and declared that she was a professional hairstylist, she was there to help them because they really sucked as a tribe and it wouldn't be fun to run over them in every single challenge. The woman didn't stop talking for twenty minutes. She had diarrhea of the mouth.

Evil Russell now hates her with every fiber of his being.

Yasmin took Ben aside and chastised him about a shot he took at her during the challenge. "You tackled me like a dude! That was disrespectful!"

Ben took exception to her rebuke and laid into her when he could get a word in edgewise. Some of the better zingers:

Listen to me, grammar school...
you smell bad
you're pretty close to being a hooker!
you're ghetto trash
Go make yourself a ketchup sandwich and some Kool-Aid!

Wow. I really have nothing to add to that. Hah. Of course I do. Talk about the wastecan calling the dumpster "trash".

Ben was so geared up that he spent most of the night keeping people up with his firemaking and wood chopping. He wore his buff in a way that made him look like Aunt Jemimah.

Betsy determined that she was definitely in danger of going home since she was evidently "old".

She chatted with the two blondes to try to get them to change their minds.

"You can't trust Russell! Use your women's intuition!"

One of the girls said "Yeah! Um, what?"
The other said "oh, that's okay, my daddy paid for college."

The bell tolls for thee, Betsy.

At tribal council Jeff managed, with little effort, to get Yasmin and Ben fighting again. She was eventually asked to leave so the tribe could vote Betsy off. She glared at Ben as she departed. This isn't over. I only hope Yasmin can last long enough for the tribes to merge. The over/under on that is "doubtful".

While voting, Betsy sang the COPS theme song to herself "bad boys, bad boys...whatcha gonna do...?"

Ben went with a little somethin' somethin' from Ice T's Cop Killer. "You're a bad cop...this one's for you! Pow!" (mimicked popping a cap in her head).

Somewhere in the Black Rock building at the corner of West Second St and Sixth Ave, NY City, CBS's complaint line lit up like the Fourth of July.

Betsy was voted out in a landslide. Evil Russell continues to roll and the Fao Fao tribe grows, if not weaker, more foolish each week.

See you next week on...Survivorfest!