We started off with a rehash of the season to date, the highlight for me was Erinn: "I didn't come here so people at home would be proud of me...I want a million dollars!"
Stephen thinks he might have hurt his chances with the jury by betraying Coach.
Stephen: "I'm loyal to JT, but I'm also loyal to myself...and a million dollars."
Immunity challenge was a spider-shaped maze that players would go through to get puzzle pieces that they would use make a puzzle.
JT took a quick lead, gathered all his pieces first and started on his puzzle with a significant lead.
The puzzle was difficult and Stephen and Erinn soon caught up. JT finished his puzzle just ahead of Erinn. That was a close one...I wasn't quite ready for pigs to start flying.
Back at camp, Erinn tried a subtle tact to get JT and Stephen to vote Taj off. "You know, JT...Stephen was saying how going up against you in the vote would be like suicide."
She cleverly didn't tell JT that Stephen was thinking about voting JT off should he not have won the challenge. She waited for JT to ask her. Don't want to look to conniving.
Stephen to JT: "Taj believes we'll take her to the final two." Um...I think that's because both of you told her that you would.
At council, Coach still had his Dragon Cane. I suspect he'll be using it to walk around with after the game is over. Assuming he doesn't auction it off. It looks like he's been working on it quite a bit.
Taj was blindsided! I guess Eddie is going to get his sugar a little early.
Back at camp, JT is already regretful for turning on Taj.
Especially when Erinn won't shut the heck up about it. Both Stephen and JT are ready to kill her.
The remaining three took the Survivor walk of fame for the season. This is one of my favorite parts, especially when they try to remember something about some of the people who were voted off early. Like their names.
"Oh, the duuuude. Yeah. He was great. I totally miss him."
The next immunity challenge was a ball chute. Multiple balls rolling around on a track with two potential exit points. Once a ball hit the ground, the player was out.
Erinn dropped out first.
Stephen had a fatal flaw in his strategy. He knelt down to be more comfortable, but he had his hand sideways. This caused him to struggle with catching the ball. Eventually he fumbled one too many and JT went on to win immunity (again).
The win made Stephen happy. Now he didn't have to decide whether he would betray JT.
Erinn started working this angle with JT. Wouldn't it be easier to win if you took me? No one liked me from my tribe anyway.
Stephen argued that he would win jury points for sticking with him and that he was going to win anyway.
At council, Probst wondered if JT should choose morals over a million.
Since JT's voted was the only one that counted, he was the only one who got to vote. He chose to stick with Stephen. Erinn out!
The Warrior and the Wizard would continue on to the final jury vote.
The jury came in to provide their final questions to Stephen and JT.
Coach sprung from the jury and killed the both of them before being dragged down while screaming "I slayed the dragons!!!!" Just kidding. But would you have been surprised?
The two argued before the jury:
Stephen: Vote for me because I learned so much from the game. JT was already good at this stuff. I became something of an outdoorsman.
JT: I'm a goober, but I worked my butt off and you usually vote guys like me off early.
I think the only questions from the jury worth mentioning were, you guessed it: Coach.
"I'm proud to see the Warrior and the Wizard here!" He then proceeded to rehash his litany of Coach-isms like "iron sharpens iron" and something about dragon-slaying. My wife wondered aloud how he could remember all of them. I think it's repetition. Years from now we'll find out that Coach was brain damaged in a soccer accident and is capable of speech only in abstract macho-istic blurts. You heard it here first.
Taj whimpered about how dismayed she was at being blind-sided in favor of Erinn. Interestingly it got Stephen and JT to start sniping at each other a little. My wife thought they looked like an old married couple at that point.
I guess there are no friends in the shadow of a million smackaroos.
JT clearly was having doubts about his decision to keep Stephen in the final vote. I'm not entirely sure he'll be able to last long enough to hear the final vote....back in the studio!
I always liked the season where they air-lifted Probst in a helicopter to the final vote show. My wife thinks that they used up their air lift by flying Joe out.
At the final vote Stephen elected to keep his beard and JT looked much cleaner. I think he got his hair styled. Funny to see them all cleaned up after 30+ days of looking like skanks.
The winner needed four votes to win the million. JT won in a unanimous vote for only the second time in Survivor history.
As a celebration JT's family slaughtered a calf on the spot and started a barbeque for the entire studio audience.
The after-interviews are always a hoot, now that everyone has kind of made friends again and have started doing damage control at the advice of their new agents.
Evidently everyone still hates Sierra and she still can't figure out why. It's bad news when you're in tears at the after-show.
Tyson continued to dress in a green shirt that made him look like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. My wife thinks it made him look like he had boobs. I loved the peach-fuzz mustache. It reminded me of junior high.
Coach refused a CBS-sponsored lie detector test to determine if he was really captured by natives in the Amazon, but secretly took one of his own. Predictably it showed that he was, indeed, the second coming of Chuck Norris.
Coach brought his assistant trainers (he can afford more than one friend now), the writer of his upcoming book (I can't wait) and a "lady friend" straight from Escorts-R-Us. To make sure he didn't look too much like a loser.
I hope you all enjoyed the latest version of Survivorfest. I'll be back in the fall with another round. Assuming CBS doesn't sue the crap out of me between now and then. With any luck I'll throw in a copy of Coach's new book for the winner.
The final standings were such:
1st - Tony
2nd - Machelle (tied for first in points, but sadly picked Tyson for an early exit)
3rd - Geri
Loveable Loser - Glenda (who uttered the Survivorfest hall of fame quote: "I guess sometimes it pays to be a loser." I want to have that tattooed on my arm.
See you next season on...Survivorfest!
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