Survivorfest - week 10!

Sierra finally outlasts her welcome!



Back from council, Coach reflected on recent events: "I was commanding my troops, as I was born to do...that's why I'm the Dragonslayer." Then JT and Stephen turned the game on its head by blindsiding Tyson.



Despite what was clearly a surprise and a disappointment to Debbie and Coach, they slobbered all over JT and Stephen.



Stephen remarked that he was leery about being told how brilliant he was and would have preferred a big old fight to clear the air. I'm starting to get a sneaking feeling that Stephen might just be the guy to beat in this game...



The reward challenge was a quiz regarding the remaining members of the tribe. They all answered a series of questions and would compare their results to that of the group. Those who had the results of the majority would be allowed to chop at the rope of a competitor.



Each person had three sections to their rope before a hammer would fall, smashing a ceramic doll that resembled the player. Coach's doll, predictably, had a larger-than-normal head.



Who was not playing the game up to their potential? The majority said Coach...including Coach. Anyone who didn't see that coming hasn't been paying attention. He's the kind of guy who thinks even his weaknesses are greater than most people's strengths.



Who would squander the million dollars if the won the game? Helio Castroneves! Just kidding. That was the majority answer to that question on a previous season of Dancing With the Stars: http://motorsports.fanhouse.com/2008/10/03/helios-tax-indictment-has-nascar-ties/

The majority answered Sierra. Again...what in the world did she do to piss all these people off?



Sierra's third rope was chopped and she took a seat on the bench.



Who would never survive on their own? Debbie.



With that Coach went out, followed by Debbie.



Who would you trust with your life? JT, unanimously. Surprising, after last week. I think Tyson would beg to differ.



Erinn was out, then JT. So much for the value of being trustworthy.



Stephen turned to Taj at this point, flashed a gang sign at her and said "It's on!". He couldn't be any whiter if he was a ghost.



Who would be most likely to stab you in the back? Sierra. Again, what?



Who would you least like to see win the game? Stephen won by choosing Sierra. Taj lost and had selected Coach.



Stephen won the reward challenge.



He chose to send Erinn to Exile. Again, worried that another idol might make its way out he didn't want Sierra to get it.



Stephen took Taj and JT with him on reward, which was a home cooked meal with a Brazilian family. Unfortunately it was the vacation home of former major league pitcher Ugueth Urbina. http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,261984,00.html



Just kidding. That's the plot of next season's Survivor. Instead of going home, cast-offs will be hacked with machetes and doused with gasoline. I can't wait.



After a large meal with the family, the three went to, and I'm certainly going to spell this wrong, Fervedora Springs. I believe Fervedora is Portuguese for "septic pool".



At Exile, Erinn and her Prada-frame glasses had little success with making a fire. Then it rained anyway. Cold, wet, lonely night on Exile. Sounds like a Michael Jackson's honeymoon.



Back at camp, Sierra is approached by Coach and Debbie to reunite the Timbera tribe to take back control of the game. At least that was my take on the conversation. As we were about to find out, there's several sides to every story.



Sierra wasn't so sure she wanted to align with the losers of last night's blindside, so she avoided any commitment.



Debbie was a little rattled: "My brain is running right now." I'm not sure what got it started.



She turned to ask Sierra: "Sierra, you would go with whatever Coach says, right?"

Sierra: "ummm, I'm not so sure."

Debbie: "What!?! I thought you said you'd be loyal!"

Sierra: "That was before you wrote my name down! You guys are in trouble...you only have two people in your alliance."

Debbie: "You don't know who we have! Those facts are in your brain!" Yes, she actually said that.



I thought this was hilarious as it was almost the exact opposite of the conversation those two had the previous episode.



Coach made sure to hook up with JT to try to get his commitment on how the final four would play out.



Coach even went so far as to say that it was Sierra's idea to try to reunite Timbera. Naturally he was above such dishonesty. I didn't think it was possible, but his nose actually grew three inches.



He went so far as to say that the very thought of crossing JT and Stephen made him sick to his stomach. I swear I could hear violin music in the background.



Sierra told Stephen her side of the story, which had a little different spin than Coach's.



Stephen cracks me up: "Ultimately we'll need to betray Coach and Debbie. To do that we need to get them on our side." And he seems like such a nice boy.



The immunity challenge was to throw a grappling hook to pull in three bags from a distance. The first three to retrieve all their bags would move on to a "ball in a maze board" challenge for immunity.



It seems like it's the rainy season in Brazil and there was plenty of lighting to boot. I wonder how worried they were to be slinging around metal grappling hooks. I suspect CBS' lawyers were all squirming and rechecking the paperwork they had the players sign.



Coach and JT finished ahead of the others, and Debbie edged out Stephen, who was delayed by a knot in his rope.



Coach was practically giddy to have not been eliminated at this point. Definitely new ground being broken here when Coach starts being competitive in individual challenges.



Coach won the ball in a maze challenge due to three factors: concentration, total focus, honesty and integrity. Wait that's four.



We did get to hear another victory cry as Coach dropped his ball into the winning hole: "You better believe it, baby! Dragonslayer!!"



And I'm not even making that up.



Back at camp he actually asked JT if he'd heard him yell "Dragonslayer!!" He had. I strongly suspect that, if they can stomach Coach for a couple more days, then they will try to drag him along to the end. I can't see anyone intentionally giving him a million dollars.



Coach then proceeded to explain to everyone why he won that challenge. In detail. Talked it to death.



Sierra took the opportunity to try to clear up the air about who said what to whom earlier.



My interpretation of the confrontation:



Coach threw Debbie under the bus. Sierra called Coach a liar. Coach claimed he was beyond reproach. Debbie broke down and cried.



Debbie: "I'm a 46-year old professional woman, arguing with a 23-year old! I don't even remember what I said [to her]!" I think that's an interesting way of saying, "yeah, I lied".



At council, Probst asked about the in-fighting.



Coach was still appalled that anyone would doubt him: "I live by two things: honesty, integrity and bravery." In all fairness, he might have written it as honesty/integrity.



Taj enjoyed the drama show since she hadn't gotten to watch any soap operas lately. And she wasn't on the spot.



Sierra was voted out in a close one, with Debbie sweating it out.

It seemed like the reasoning for getting rid of Sierra was that she was causing too much trouble at camp. All the more reason for keeping her, I think. She definitely provided a smoke-screen for Erinn and Taj. And I think Coach might be even more of a target now.

Still, for a gal that everyone wanted to vote off as soon as they got off the bus, she did very well for herself.



See you next week on...Survivor!

Survorfest week 9!

Tyson and his loin cloth boogie on home!



Back from tribal council, fresh from blindsiding Brendon, the rest of the tribe took the opportunity to rub Sierra's nose in it. She responded by trying to explain how she was young and foolish and didn't mean to hurt anyone...What a load of bull.



I mean seriously, why do the people that get caught on the losing end of a power play feel like they have to explain themselves? Just say "hey, I went with what I thought was my best option and it didn't pan out. I'm ready to move on to my next best option." Everyone takes it so personally when their name gets written down.



I've decided that Coach is the Michael Scott of Survivor. He can bench press 300 pounds, you know. Brendan couldn't believe it. But then he was the head of the Dragon and now has been defeated.



Tyson really laid into Sierra. Not only did he call her an idiot and told her that she would be voted off next, but he also concluded that her boyfriend probably wasn't all that cool, either.



Coach seems to have a different primal scream for every occasion. This week we got to hear his victory scream.



The reward challenge was a complicated puzzle where different boards had to be fitted in such a way that the players could see vowels through holes in the boards in order to unscramble a phrase. I was completely confused. Sometimes I think they make these challenges too complex. They often don't seem to make any sense.



The reward was a feast and a Brazilian martial arts demonstration. I couldn't understand what it was called, but Coach knew exactly what it was. What an ass.



Taj seems to have lost a lot of weight. All muscle as I recall from a previous discussion. She seemed to still have a lot of muscle between the ears as she thought that running with her head through one of the holes in the puzzle board was a good idea. Probst warned her that she was imminent danger of snapping her neck like a twig.



JT, Debi, Erinn and Tyson won reward.



JT insisted that Stephen head back to Exile. The strategy was sound as they were concerned that if another hidden idol was put back in play, then Sierra might end up with it.



As the winners headed off to reward, Probst couldn't help but note that all of Coach's life experiences hadn't helped him win any of the cool rewards. Coach indicated that, last time he was in the Amazon, he wasn't asked to line boards up. I wonder if that was before or after the trip where the natives tried to eat him.



Erinn remarked that she'd not been on a reward before. I'm trying to figure out how she's still in the game.



The natives seemed a little put out by the condition of the Survivors. Maybe they've been watching the show and having a game of their own. Most of 'em probably had money on Brendon.



Debi, a school principal back home, couldn't stay away from the kids. I think she was creeping out some of the parents.



The Brazilian martial art was a fighting style that was part dance, part non-physical contact. Not much of a martial art. It's probably Swiss.



After a huge feast and an attempt to do the martial arts, and Erinn was left puking her guts out. I'm sure the neighbors were dutifully impressed. I think I saw them exchanging money.



Back at camp Sierra was still blubbering about her plans.



Erinn seemed to enjoy the show.



Coach suggested that she take the honorable way of the samurai and kill herself. Or something equally goofy.



Sierra went to Coach and tried to get him to "coach" her. Let her learn from her mistake and help her be a better person. Well played.



You could see Coach just chewing it over...She betrayed me...yet I can save her...



The challenge was a version of shuffleboard in the rain. Stephen returned from Exile declaring how much he missed everyone and their body warmth. Awkward!



The rain made the match pretty miserable. Debi and Erinn looked like they were going to be hypothermic.



Probst made an offer to skip the challenge for some pizza. Surprisingly Stephen, JT and Coach sat out to enjoy as much pizza as they could shovel in.



Tyson was not happy that all of his buds expected that he would stay in the challenge to keep Sierra headed back home while they sat around and ate pizza.



Sierra took a late lead in the challenge and you could see the blood drain from Coach's face. Tyson missed his last shot and said "Ah, I shoulda ate!"



Sierra was pretty happy with her final shot and let it show.



Debi took charge with her last shot, however, and won immunity!



Tyson: "There's nothing awesomer than seeing someone celebrate before the game is over. It's okay...we'll go to council and I hope that Sierra will cry a lot."



Back at camp, Stephen floated the idea of blind-siding Tyson. Seems like a good time. He'd won every immunity challenge but the latest.



Stephen: "It's happens every season! Someone goes on a run!"



JT: "Sierra's a lying bitch. I hate her."



Stephen: "Me, too!"



What in the name of all that's holy did she do? Vote McCain?



Coach made a nice Michael Scott-ism: "We're the Warrior alliance! It would be stupid to call ourselves that and then not go through with [keeping the strongest players until the end]!"



At council, Brendan came in, looking as scruffy as he had when he left.



Coach was wearing some type of weird feather headdress. No doubt he modeled it after some Brazilian martial arts specialist. Or his favorite bird.



Tyson loves everyone there...with the notable exception of Sierra. That was hard to guess.



Coach mentioned that he wanted to walk the honorable road of the warrior. Probst noted that voting Brendan out wasn't exactly the way a samurai wouldn't do it.



Coach sputtered that he would like to explain about that...Evidently since Brendan pitted himself against him, Coach felt the need to cut the head off of the Dragon.



Coach chimed in with a Survivor Hall of Fame quote: "I will be like a ravenous wolf!!"



The blindside was one, and Tyson was voted off!



The look on everyone's face when Tyson's name came up the third time was priceless.



Tyson took it pretty well: "Sneaky bastards! Now I know how Brendan felt."



He added: "It feels weird to be outfoxed by an idiot."



See you next week on...Survivorfest!

Survivorfest week 8!

Brendan blindsided!

Fresh from Joe leaving due to injury, Coach appears to have gone off his rocker. I haven't seen a person go this batty this quickly since Lindsay Lohan after the release of Herbie Fully Loaded.

Perhaps he missed Joe: "With Joe leaving the way he did, there is a funk permeating the camp." Perhaps it's the fish guts. Or the stink of Herbie Fully Loaded.

Coach proceeded to tell a camp story culled from his "real life". Evidently during a kayak trip to the Amazon (he was dropped off by a military helicopter) he was abducted by a tribe of natives. They bound and beat him until he was able to slip out of the ropes and flee with his kayak. Well. I guess I have nothing further to say about that.


Just kidding. Of course I have something to say about that! I think he should have skipped the part where the tribe of natives beat him within an inch of his life. He was giving everyone ideas...


He ended by saying that he couldn't describe how it felt to be stalked by another human being. I'm pondering another Lindsay Lohan reference.

Brendan wondered how much renting the military 'coptor set him back. Coach indicated: "I pulled some strings".

Allegedly it was some type of National Geographic shoot, but he refused to let anyone else travel along because the trip was "just about him".


The next morning Coach did his WWF poses in the surf. When asked about what type of exercise he was doing, he replied "It's Chong Ran."

As I was typing madly, he followed with "don't bother Googling it...you won't find it. It's passed down by word of mouth." Dang.

Actually he was wrong. When I Googled "Chong Ran" it was listed as "the ancient art of making s%#t up".

Coach was in rare form this week. He reiterated that he had nicknamed Brendan "the Dragon" and that he was "the Dragon Slayer".

He ran with the analogy and dubbed Sierra "the bowel movement that comes out of the end of the dragon". If they make a movie about this, what actress will play the part? I vote for Kathy Griffin.

JT and Erinn had a nice chat. He asked her whether she was aligned with any of her tribe. Her response "aligned...not so much. I've stayed neutral." That's another way of saying that the rest of her tribe thinks she's a lost cause.

Frankly, at this point it would seem that anyone who has Sierra, Taj, Erinn and maybe Stephen should feel pretty good. It seems like once the tribes merge the usual strategy is to drag along the non-physical threats so you can win individual immunity week after week.

Reward challenge was to break the group into three teams. Each team tossed metal balls at blocks with tiles set into the tops. The last tribe to have unbroken tiles remaining would win the challenge.


Brendan was grousing about the strategy since "none of us have ever done this before."


Coach raised his hand "I have." Naturally. He probably taught the Amazon natives how to play before he eluded them.

Brendan, JT and Debi won a close match and headed off to a white water rafting trip. Great. Just what you want as a reward when you're starving and exhausted. That kind of trip will wear you out when you're well-fed and rested.


They decided to send Stephen to Exile.

Coach gave him some encouragement "Be the wizard, Stephen...be the wizard" Seriously, he was just blurting weird stuff like that all day.


At Exile, Stephen got the idol clue which confirmed that there was no new hidden idol to be found.

He had concerns about making fire: "I figured I would make food, make fire or die."


After hours of trying he finally managed it. Could be a big moment for a tie breaker down the line.

After white water rafting, JT and Brendan chatted. Brendan had taken a liking to JT and formed a plan to keep JT in the game and blindside Coach or Tyson. Little did he know that the actual plan had him packing his things before Joe had to drop out.

Back at camp he tried to mend fences with Taj, whom he had been avoiding since the merge despite their special cross-alliance at Exile. It was hard to determine if she was buying what he was trying to sell.

The immunity challenge was an obstacle course that each player would have to navigate while tied to a rope that was threaded through the course.

Tyson, Brendan and JT jumped ahead to advance to the next round. Coach got stuck on the first section. Probst uttered "nothing prepared Coach for the rope-a-dope!" Probst showed his age with that Muhammad Ali reference. None of the younger crowd was likely to pick that up. Right, Mike?

The next round was a two-tier course. Brendan got hung up at the end while JT fell behind. Tyson took immunity for the second week in a row!

Coach: "the wizard is coming to the man of the mountain!" I think at this point he has gone delirious and no one has noticed. Did he get bitten by some sort of frothing mammal and the camera guy missed it?

JT and Stephen discussed Coach's weird camp story. JT indicated: "I don't know about that Amazon story...I think I'd have gone back with a 30-30 Winchester..."

Stephen: "uh, yeah." I can picture Stephen going back with an Uzi and seeking vengeance on some Amazon pygmies. Not.

Brendan ran around camp happily working his "plan". Since Tyson took immunity, Coach was now on the block. Brendan seemed awfully sure that nothing else was going on. That should have been a warning. If everyone else was really planning to vote off JT it was strange that everyone was professing how much they loved him.

At tribal council Probst wanted to hear more about Coach's campfire story: "Coach, that sounds incredible! Did you tell them the TV version?"

Coach missed the insinuation that "TV version" meant that he was adding a lot of extra crap that never happened. He thought that he meant "keeping it PG-rated".

"I toned it down. I didn't tell the part where the Indians were talking about my ass and how they wanted to eat it" Yup. Liars creed. When someone's on to you, start telling even bigger whoppers.

Coach went on to share how he had faced death 5, 6, 7 maybe 8 times! Sharks, alligators, ninjas, Russian spies...yeah, he's definitely missing the marshmallows from his Lucky Charms.

Probst started asking about who had the hidden idol since so many had gone to Exile. Everyone claimed not to have it, but Brendan fessed up. The funny thing is I think he was joking around.

Brendan was voted out, blindsided. He is the first member of our jury! Add him to the pantheon of "people who had an immunity idol and didn't use it". I formally proclaim this as the "James effect".

I think I speak for all of us Brendan-owners when I say "damn!"

My daughter amused me when she said "Well, at least I still have Coach." Bwahahahaha!

Survivorfest - Week 7

Joe limps out!

Forgot this from last week: Taj spoke to Stephen and JT about the immunity idol: "I don't want you guys to go out prematurely!" That's what she said! Sorry, I've been holding that in for about a week.

Coach woke up the morning after council and decided his chakra needed to be adjusted or something. He made sure to do his fake Tai Chi where everyone could see him. It looked more like he was WWF posing.


He did come back and give everyone in the tribe a nice back massage. A little creepy.


Everyone seemed to think Coach had turned over a new leaf. I suspect that will last approximately half a week.


Evidently Coach started the Samurai hair-do trend as well. Huh. Probably discovered plutonium, too.

Joe leg is puffed up like...well, Coach. Not good news, I'm telling you...

Next morning and tree mail brought word of an upcoming feast.

Taj lays a Survivor Hall of Fame quote on us: "I get excited when I hear anything that starts with an "F"!" I can only presume that meant foot-rubs, feasts and football.

That day the tribes merged and sat together for a feast!

They decided to have JT read the note explaining the merge. What were they thinking? Don't they know that CBS has to pay extra for subtitles?

They new tribe settled on the name Forza, which is Portuguese for "sausage", I believe. Actually a quick review of Internet searches indicates it is the name of a Motocross video simulator, a coffee company and a weight lifting system.

Coach used his vast powers of observation to immediately identified JT as a good ol' boy. Yep, master of psychology, that one.

He also weighed in on his main threat.

Coach: "Brendan is the head of the dragon...when you want to kill an army you kill the head of the dragon!" I dub him captain of mixed metaphors.

Day 20 and Debbie's roots are showing.

The early talk around camp seemed to be about voting Brendan off. Evidently Tyson and Coach find him despicable and deceitful. I'm not sure where that is coming from. I don't think they've been at odds over a tribal vote up to this point.

Tyson took Debbie aside to tell her the score. If I've seen this once, I've seen it a dozen times. Summary: "We're going to do this...if you want to ride the wave for a few more weeks, stick with the plan. We vote off tonight"


Debbie's (and the typical) response: " I'm down with that/that sounds great."

Tyson was feeling a bit like the evil mastermind: "Brendan is like putty in my hands!" Last time we heard someone say that it was Kenny, last season. I'm trying to remember how that worked out...

Erinn and Joe went for a walk. Joe asked Erinn if she'd figured out where the idol was. She hadn't.

Joe: "Wanna see where it is? Bend over!" Fortunately this took place by the tree mail idol or CBS would have faced a very large fine.

Alas, the idol had already been removed, so they knew that either Brendan or Sierra had it.


Odd that Joe didn't mention his "idol" (that Taj and Stephen made). Wonder if he figured out it was fake.

The immunity challenge was to have each person hang onto a pole. Last one hanging would win.

Stephen made it about as long as it took Probst to say "the challenge is on."

Joe was out next. Probst noted his puffed-up leg. It's getting a lot of air time, so I think you know what's coming.

Brendan was out next. Taj and Erinn then went out.

JT dropped out.

Coach talked some smack before dropping out himself. He was all cocky, too. Like as long as the members of the old tribe had dropped out, he didn't need to finish the challenge.

Sierra took a hard slide down the pole. Probably picked up a few splinters up the front. Ouch!

Erinn called out from the bench: "Tyson, don't fall!"

Tyson: "Dont tell me what to do, woman."

Erinn: "I just don't want to you to break your face."

Tyson: "True, it is my money maker." This guy is virtually destined for a Survivor All-Stars if he doesn't finish first this season.

Debbie held on for dear life, but finally gave in. Tyson won immunity and earned points for whoever had him.

Tyson: "I kicked ass like I always do." It's amazing how he can say that and it's funny. When Coach says stuff like that you just want to punch him in the head. Remarkable.

Joe earned a medical visit while the rest of the tribe returned to camp.

Erinn: "I hope Joe's okay."

Taj: "Who? Oh...yeah!"

Back at camp it was the Tyson monologues.

Tyson: "Lying to people brings me pleasure. I don't know why Sierra is here. Probably to give hope to stupid people around the world." And Sierra's going to watch that later and go "oh, Tyson...you're so silly!"

Tyson loves him some Brendan. I don't think I can repeat what he said about him. I felt all dirty just hearing it.

Tyson was flying around camp telling everybody everything. At this point I have no idea what the real plan actually is. I'm not sure Tyson does, either.

Coach weighed in with his own Survivor Hall of Fame quote: "I have no patience for sitting around with a rod in my hand and nothing going on. " Right. That's what he said!

Coach was happy with his perceived planning skills: "You can call me the orchestrator!" Oh, that's almost too good. Dare I? If it was easier to type I probably would.

Probst came to camp for a visit. Bad news for Joe. He'll be heading home due to the leg injury.


No tribal council tonight!

Taj: "Woo hoo! Oh, uhm. Jeff, tell Joe we love him and miss him. Sniff."

I guess Dragon Slayer/Orchestrator will have to wait another day to taste blood! Or conduct. Yeah, I just can't ride with both of these titles.

Was anyone else surprised that Joe was willing to leave without too much of a fuss? With a pretty hot foreign doctor? Anyone? Me neither.

As they flew away on the helicopter, you might have missed it, but Joe leaned over to the doctor and whispered "hey...would you like to see my hidden idol?"

See you next week on...Survivorfest!

Survivorfest week 6!

Sydney started Joe's fire, but had hers extinguished!


Welcome back from our two-week, NCAA-induced hiatus!

Jalapao was back at camp, fresh from cutting loose Spencer. Everyone seemed regretful with the exception of JT. Guess it doesn't pay to get on that guy's bad side. Seriously, was he that miserable in the lacrosse challenge?

Sydney began moping around using the old "I guess everyone will be voting me off next" routine. Maybe she should be employing a more useful strategy like the "I'm totally going to be a useful member of the tribe" one or "I'm going to kick butt in the next challenge, guaranteed!" one. Even the "I think we should get rid of so-an-so because he/she is a cancer" strategy is better.

Joe, however, is wearing Sydney-colored glasses: "I got a thing for Sydney...she's gorgeous!" Further, he declared that he would do what he could to take her to the merge with him. Is she $1M gorgeous, Joe? You can buy a lot of high-end glamour for that kind of scratch.

The camera showed the clouds pouring in at fast-motion speed. My wife wondered if Coach suspected it was going to rain.

Coach continued to aggravate his clan. This time it was by adding additional river water to the pot of beans because they weren't done enough to suit him. The rains came in before the beans were finished and Coach retreated to the shelter. This resulted in a heaping pot of burned beans that everyone got to scrape out of the pot.

Debbie: "Some of them are purple!" Sierra let him know that if one of the rest of the tribe screwed up the beans, he would have been all over them. Probably true. Coach spent the next several minutes explaining why everyone else was being a jerk because he burned the beans.

Speaking of Debbie and Sierra...I always thought Sierra was little, but she stands a full head taller than Debbie. Weird.

Brendan was still happy with having him around: "Coach is a predictable player, and in this game you want to be dealing with predictable people." That sounds like famous last words, to me.

Taj was interested in telling JT that she had the idol, but Stephen talked her out of it. Evidently he wanted to maintain his usefulness as a go between for Taj and JT. Bros before hos, as it were.

The reward challenge was for each tribe to build a set of barricades. Once completed the tribes would attempt to throw ceramic pigs through the other team's barricades to other tribe members. The team with the most unbroken pigs at the end wins.

Probst: "Those pigs hurt when they hit your body!" I'm still not sure what to say about this.

Initially both tribes struggled with the challenge and the first handful of pigs ended up in a shattered mess on the ground.

After a while both tribes got the hang of it and pigs did indeed fly. Timbera won by a snout!

Timbera (or rather Brendan) chose Joe to go to Exile. Joe elected to take Erinn with him. I predicted that he would take the best-looking or least-clothed female remaining. Joe doesn't disappoint: "The decision to take Erinn was strategic. Charm is part of my game."

At reward, the tribe enjoyed a barbeque feast at a waterfall. I laughed when I saw Coach jump into the tidal pool on a float and ended up hitting the water face first. Sometimes it's the simple things in life that you treasure.

At Exile, Erinn picked the urn with the clue. Eventually she decided to share the clue with Joe.

Erinn: "If we were aligned and had two idols, then that might be good." Duh...do you think? She is not shaping up as a Survivor mastermind.

Stephen and Taj decided that Joe will probably get the clue to the idol, so they must work up a fake one in order to hide the fact that they have it. Time to get to work on that fake idol!

Stephen blurted "I have some leather straps!" Really? Where the heck did he get those? Now if it was leather chaps, I would've figured that Spencer left them behind...

I can't help but wonder if Joe is smart enough to follow the clues and find the idol but dumb enough to believe that Taj hadn't found it after being on Exile like five times.

On the way to a fishing expedition, JT grabbed for an empty bag and happened to find Taj's idol. Stephen tried to make like he hadn't seen it before. Stephen is a terrible, terrible liar.

And evidently an idiot. Why would you hide an immunity idol with a bunch of empty sacks that people use for fishing?

The jig being up, Taj and Stephen fessed up to JT that they had the idol. Taj even offered to let him have it if he needed it. They elected to hide the idol in Stephen's dress pants. Why are they still letting this moron watch over it?

The challenge was to use a slingshot to break three sets of tiles, which would release sand that would eventually release a sack of puzzle pieces. Quite ingenious, really. I should make one of these in the back yard for the kids.

Tyson and JT went head-to-head. Tyson broke his first tile, followed by JT. JT seemed to be taking his good old time re-loading.

Tyson finished breaking his three tiles first. JT had some bad luck in that, while he broke the tiles, some were not completely shattered, so he was left aiming at partial targets in order to get larger quantites of sand to run out. Tyson, helpfully, offered to break JT's tiles for him. Nice.

Timbera had a decent lead going into the puzzle and managed to keep it. Another Timbera victory!

Back at Jalapao, Joe was nursing a nasty-looking leg infection. Everyone who has Joe as a winner should be collectively gasping. Particularly when someone noted that he had a red streak going all down his leg. I'm no doctor, but that cannot be good.

Joe didn't own up to knowing about the idol clue, but ran off at the first chance he got to check the tree mail idol. Where he found Taj's fake idol. My question was answered. He's bought it hook line and sinker. Still no points for finding a fake immunity idol.

Joe still won't vote Sydney off and even contemplated giving her his "idol".

JT and Stephen considered blindsiding Taj. I personally question this line of thinking. With the merge pending and Jalapao soon to be down two members, they face getting picked off one by one. In this situation it seems to make more sense to keep Taj, who has a relationship with members of the other tribe and who has promised to be aligned with JT and Stephen. Or they could take Sydney because she's hot.

At council Probst asked JT: "Break it down for me, JT...how are things at camp?"

I'm not sure what the heck JT said, but he definitely needed subtitles.

The votes were tallied and Sydney was voted off. I assume Joe was surprised since he didn't seem to give further consideration to sharing his "idol". Kind of a shame. I was hoping for another one of those "You idiot! Can't you tell this is a fake idol!?!" moments. Priceless.

Next week, the tribes merge and the game heads into the next stage as we can look forward to seeing the population of the jury.

See you next week on...Survivorfest!