Survivorfest week 5!

Spencer stays in, but goes out!


Anyone else think that Stephen has eyes that go in two different directions when he has his glasses off? That must be one heck of an astigmatism.


Taj shared that she wrote Joe's name down last week just because she didn't want to put Sandy's name down. Seems like a good way to get yourself on somebody's bad side for no upside.


Back at camp, Stephen was scratching Taj's back in what might be a metaphor for this season. The way she was moaning, I almost sent my kid out of the room.


Taj and Stephen went searching for the idol. Taj found it where it the Exile Island clues pointed to...in the nether end of the tree mail idol. It was close, as Stephen could have easily found it first and picked up the points. I don't think the Taj owners out there would have been too amused by that turn of events.


Taj had Stephen hide the idol in his shorts pocket and then warned him to keep his shirt over it: "You need to be cognizant that you'll show a lump." That's right. Nobody would expect a bulge in Stephen's shorts. In all fairness, most guys have to practice dealing with that sort of thing throughout high school.

Almost immediately Stephen began thinking about keeping the idol. Be careful who you cross, little man. Big Eddie could kill you with his bare hands. And I'm pretty sure Taj could, too.


Back at Timbera, Sierra read Brendan the riot act about not taking the time to tell her about "the plan". He did confide in her that he found the hidden idol. The plan to cross-alliance with the other tribe seems to be proceeding.


At the rewards challenge, Probst informed the tribes that Sandy was voted out at last council. Coach murmured smugly "it was only a matter of time." Man, you gotta love to hate this guy. Is there anyone else that CBS has a microphone on 24x7?


The challenge was a variation of dizzy bat using a Sit-n-Spin. First tribe to have three members cross a balance beam, while dizzy, would win a visit to, and I'm not making this up, the Charmin Cafe.


First round, Taj went really fast, but fell off the beam and had to start over. Tyson took his time, but made it over first.


Spencer won the second round to tie the match. He said "it's like wearing beer goggles, man." Except that beer goggles involve thinking that a nottie is a hottie. Like if he passed the finish line, got a good look at Stephen and thought "heyyyyyyy, crazy eyes...how you doin'?"


Next round and JT looked like he was ready to hurl. Probst summed it up aptly: "JT looks like he's at the end of a bad Friday night!" I think we've all been there.


JT fell off the beam after approximately half a step, but managed to recover and cross for the win.


In the next round, Sydney shrugged off the dizziness and zipped across the beam, leaving a slow and steady Debbie behind. Jalapao wins reward!


Brendan was chosen to go to Exile Island (again). He chose Stephen to go with him, costing his would-be conspirator to miss out on a special trip to Charmin Cafe.


At the Cafe, Jalapao gorged on pastries, juices and coffee. There was a special toilet set up with a load of, you guessed it, Charmin toilet paper. It looked a little unsavory. I find it hard to believe that I would get psyched up to line up to use a toilet when the rest of the people in the line have been in the wild for several weeks. Possibly "saving up".


In addition to the treats and the toiletries, each of the contestants received family mail.


Spencer cried like a baby, as did Taj.


JT shared that his mother had written that she loved him, which she had only said something like three times in his life. I can picture JT's ma in front of their TV screaming "What?!? I tell that ungrateful little rat I love him all the time! Wait 'til I get my hands on him...we'll see how good he is at surviving!"


Back at Timbera, Coach continued to be melodramatic. While discussing the weather he would say things like "notice the change...in the wind..." and look meaningfully into the breeze.


Turns out that Coach is as good a weatherman as he is a challenge player. His prediction that the storm would miss them ended in a deluge.


Erinn "Coach is kind of a jackass. He wants us to think he's like Survivor man...I halfway expect after the show for him to say 'gotcha. I'm an accountant and I've never left Nebraska'".


Sydney and Spencer shared a quiet moment. Sydney wanted to know whether Spencer had a special girl. I think she was curious why he wasn't hitting on her like the rest of the guys in the tribe.


Spencer decided to keep his sexual preferences to himself, fearing that coming out would make the other good old boys of the tribe want him gone. Unfortunately this could present an interesting conundrum. Sydney is used to getting lots of special attention from the guys. If Spencer doesn't seem interested, then Sydney might be intrigued. If she's intrigued, then the other guys around camp might feel jealous that she's paying special atten...ah, I'm waaaaay over-thinking this.

The immunity challenge was a couple of slingshots where members of the tribes vied to catch the balls in a lacrosse stick. The lacrosse stick is called a cruelle which is a Native American word that means "pain stick".


JT was a machine in this challenge. He caught the first two balls. Of course he had Sierra guarding him. That's a bit like Clara Peller trying to guard Terrell Owens. Er. Clara Peller was the "Where's the Beef?" lady from the Wendy's commercials...ah, never mind, here's a YouTube video for all you youngsters: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug75diEyiA0


Joe dinged up his knee. Keep an eye on him. As we've seen, no injury is too trivial in this game.


Brendan caught the next two, thanks to a slow Taj. Odd that those two paired up. Would she help him win to cement their alliance later?


JT caught the next one, but got whacked in the face, causing him to lose part of a tooth. He shrugged it off and tossed the tooth away. He was all like "I got about thirty more". Well, he's from Alabama. Maybe twenty more.


Probst was all over it "Wait, JT, you're gonna want that!" Considering they were probably 300 miles from the nearest dentist (and have you met a Brazilian with good teeth?) I can't imagine why he would. I guess it would be a great auction item for the end of season Survivor charity auction. Heck, I'd bid on it!


JT caught the next one, but then Tyson caught fire, pulling down the next three. JT was really hot at Spencer. He didn't think Spencer was pulling his weight and called him out during the match.

Timbera went on to win immunity!

Okay, time to fess up. I totally made up the word cruelle. It's just something I do every now and again. Like a sickness. In fact, making up words is a sickness. The Latin term is geobushitis. I'm sorry. I did it again. I'm seeking help.

Back at Jalapao, Taj went a little crazy and lit into the rest of her tribe for their poor effort. Strange to hear that coming from someone who caught no balls and whose opponent caught several.


She wasn't having any of it, though "Everybody can kiss my ass!" Actually that is the title of chapter eight in her book: http://www.amazon.com/Player-HateHer-Avoid-Drama-Free-World/dp/0061125725/ref=wl_it_dp?ie=UTF8&coliid=I119V6Q6F45R1W&colid=RLQY2IYMQIRJ .


Joe and JT talked candidly about voting out Taj. Stephen looked about as nervous as Brad Pitt in a jammed elevator with Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie.


Spencer came over to see where he stood. JT told him "It's you or Taj". You have to hand it to JT...he always tells the tooth. Heh. Get it? He tell...cause he lost his...sigh.


At council, Spencer lamented his effort at the last challenge. Evidently everyone else agreed and he was voted out in a landslide.


The scoring continues to pile up as the contestants drop off. See you next week on...Survivorfest!