Survivor redux!

Tonight's episode was a rehash show of all the spill-over content that didn't make it into the other episodes. So no one was voted off. The Survivor equivalent of a "best-of" episode. When did they quit doing that on sitcoms? I swear they did it no less than twenty times on Happy Days.

Normally I don't blog these episodes, but since I never finished the final episode from the last season, I figure I owe one.

At about five-and-a-half minutes into tonight's show, somewhere in Southwestern Ohio, Machelle Ward said "I told him so! Steven Seagal!!"

For those of you who missed the Survivor celebrity look-a-likes page, and judging by Google Analytics, most of you have, I thought that Coach looked a lot like Liam Neeson. Machelle (currently tied for second place) thought he favored Steven Seagal.

http://www.woltermanns.com/Survivorfest/Survivor_celebrity.htm

This week Tyson mentioned that Coach looked like a cross between Steven Seagal and the last of the Mohicans.

Well, I guess this proved one thing. Neither Machelle nor Tyson know what they're talking about :-)

Coach went on to give an analysis on why he was so great. I quit trying to keep notes after the third paragraph. He is that awesome.

Taj indicated that her game plan was to "kill 'em with kindness." I guess that plan ran out of gas around week 4 huh, Taj?

She also went on to indicate that she was not fat, she was muscular. Yeah, table muscle.

The behind the scenes analysis of the tribe's eating habits was amusing.

Tyson reflected on the taste of some Brazilian roots: "They're like God's candy...thanks, God."

Debbie choked down a minnow the size of a politician's integrity: "I can't believe I just chewed up a fish between my teeth!" Imagine how the fish felt about it.

It turns out Sydney was one of the few people in her tribe who could make fire. Makes a little more sense why they've kept her around. It certainly wasn't for her challenge-winning ability.

Coach shared that he was attracted to Tyson...but not in a sexual way!!!! Methinks the man protests too much.

Deb seemed to feel the same. She practically dry-humped the poor guy. Wouldn't leave him alone. I think she's going to have some explaining to do to her hubby when she get's home.

Brendan and Coach had a bench building competition. CBS execs were busy taking notes: "Is there any way we could incorporate this into a challenge that would make it likely that the women would lose their tops?" And her kids. And to the school superintendent she works for.

Coach, ever-stretching his amazing...sorry, awesome, list of talents, performed a solo orchestra that he conducted himself without the benefit of instruments. It was reminiscent of Shane and his driftwood Blackberry a few seasons back.

Erinn's response? "Who is this jackass?" Man, I miss her!

Coach and Tyson had a quiet moment to strategize. Coach told Tyson "I'll never write your name down. I'll never vote you off."

Tyson: "I'm the same way." Heh. That was subtle.

Steven and Brendan spent some time on Exile together. When the rain washed out their fire, they were forced to share body heat to make it through the night. Kinda sounds like a country song. One that you might hear on the soundtrack of Brokeback Mountain.

Steven: "We spooned for all we were worth. But no more cuddling when we get back to the tribe."

I guess he just can't quit him.

See y'all next week on...Survivorfest ! (where I hope someone gets voted the hell off!)