Survivorfest4! - week 2

The girl from Dayton goes down!


Back from tribal council, Jalapao tries to make fire with their newly acquired flint.


Sandy: "We're gunna have fur!" Where do you pick up an accent like that, Deliverance?


She continued on to make quite an ass of herself, thanking and hugging everyone for keeping her around. I think at least a couple of her tribe were having second thoughts.


They boiled up some unappetizing vegetables that looked a lot like fish sticks. Deciding they needed more protein, they kicked over a termite mound and ate some of the residents. Kinda like Survivor meets Fear Factor.


Sydney: "I wouldn't eat the worm! I'll eat one at a challenge, but not in real life!" Ooooookay. When you find yourself in "real life" you be sure to let us know, honey.


Current count of the number of days I've had like the guy in the Dell commercial who buys a new laptop, gets his ass slapped by cops, kissed by random hot chicks for no reason and has his own parade: 0.


Back at Timbera, Sierra decided to tell Brendan about the hidden immunity idol. Together they found the first clue which was similar to Sandy's. These two didn't seem to have any question about what a "pace" was.


Soon they had dug a hole approximately the size of Pittsburgh. After you hit the five foot mark I think you can safely assume you're not digging in the right place, dude. That should be a Survivor rule of thumb. Might start up a thread on that.


Debbie decided it was time to check on the two since they'd been gone for a long time. When she came upon them in the crater, Sierra claimed that they were digging a fire pit for a party later.


Not only did Debbie buy it, but she was already planning the festivities: dancing, skinny-dipping, body shots...did I mention she's a middle-school principal?


Coach is a real piece of work: "It's my job to find fault with other people..." Evidently when everyone else does it they're just being mean.


Coach and Candace went at it a little over the cooking of rice and beans. Seriously, fighting over starvation-class cuisine on the second day? That's not gonna keep you around in this game.


Coach offered to kiss and make up, choosing instead to lick her neck. Classy.


Taj couldn't wait to tell her tribemates about her famous husband, Eddie George. She played coy with the information for about six seconds. "He's a football analyst...he does college and pro....because he knows so much being a Heisman Trophy winner and a multi-million dollar player and all!"

We'll see how that works out for her. Common folks don't usually feel much empathy with the famous. It's a burden sometimes, I assure you.


Stephen: I have NO idea who Eddie George is. That's okay, Stephen. He's probably never heard of you, either.


Immunity challenge was a good old fashioned game of jungle ball in a shallow pond.


These challenges are my favorite.


Candace immediately went after somebody. I couldn't tell who because she quickly stuffed her underwater and held her there until she passed out. She then took a pass and drained the first basket.


The next group went and Sandy grabbed Erinn from behind by her bikini top and started riding her like a bronco. I swear she's at least a little bit nuts.


Tyson grabbed the rock and put in the second basket for Timbera.


The third group was all women. Taj took over and do like Eddie do. She ran over everyone to take her shot. She should add a chapter to her book called "How to deliver a stiff-arm". Ouch!

Unfortunately she had no hooping skills whatsoever. Sandy eventually recovered the ball and drained it. One score for Jalapao.


JT quickly scored in the next round and Jalapao tied the game. Next basket would win.


The gang looked pretty tuckered out. There was a lot of hugging and slumping going on. It was like a heavyweight fight between two butterballs. Eventually Stephen shed Sierra like an overcoat and calmly knocked down the winning basket.


Jalapao wins! As part of the victory, they chose Brendan to go to Exile Island. As a twist this season Brendan got to choose someone from the winning tribe to join him. He took Taj.


At Exile they each got to choose an urn. Taj's was empty and Brendan's held a clue to immunity. The hidden idol is back at camp. He shared the information with Taj and the two had some nice together time.

Taj is becoming one of my early-season favorites. Maybe it was her line about not playing the game because she needed the money, but because she wanted to win the damn money.


For another twist this season, Brendan can choose at the end of each day if he wants to switch tribes. That should be an interesting option if things go poorly for him.


Did anyone catch what Taj was wiping on her eyebrows? It looked like Chapstick. Is that the new thing? I feel so out of it.


Stephen and JT are a cute couple. They went fishing together.


Stephen: "JT might be seducing me with his pretty country ways, but he's seducing me!" Um. here's a tip from your new pal. Alabama boys don't talk like that. I think they say things like "I wish I knew how to quit you!"


Back at Timbera, Jerry had a chunk missing from his elbow. Not sure how, since he didn't seem to do anything during the challenge.


Candace spent most of her time and energy bad-mouthing Coach. Debbie decided to rat her out.


My daughter: I don't know why they fight like that. I would be nice to everyone and secretly hate everyone...it's what I do at school". Her mother and I are so proud.


At council, Brendan was asked about his time on Exile. He told them about the urns, but fibbed about who got the one with the note. Clever.


The tribe discussed what to do at council that evening. They decided to stick to the plan. Erinn chimed in: "what was the plan again?" I don't see her lasting too much longer.


Coach wanted to blindside Candace: "I make my living off of people trusting me." Hmm.


Sierra: "I haven't found the idol, but I'm still looking behind my back." It's ten paces from the fricking stick, Sierra!


At council Jeff asked Candace how she thought things were going. "I think I'm vibing with the whole group." Since when did vibe become a verb?


Jerry: " I've bonded with this group deeply". I wonder just what in the world he's been up to? I haven't seen him do anything but sit around, chew on a toothpick and chuckle.


Debbie decided to jump in and offer her unsolicited opinion. Why would you do that? It works better when you hope that Jeff ignores you. I question how long she's going to be around, too.


Sierra looked like she was ready to fall asleep at council. Maybe she's still feeling the illness, but she's starting to remind me of Chet from a couple of seasons ago. It wouldn't surprise me if three weeks from now she's begging people to vote her off.


Candace was blind-sided by a landslide. She seemed to go through the classic phases of early-season blindsidedness:

First time her name is read: "Heh. The turkey I voted for put my name down!"
The second time her name is read: "hey..."
The third time her name is read: "Uh oh. So this is why so-and-so suggested I bring my stuff to council and no one else did."
And as the final vote is read: "%&#%&%#!!!"



See you next week on...Survivorfest!