Congratulations to Natalie for being so lame as to have not offended the jury! Evidently Mick was too lame to have even gotten that far. Alas, poor Russell, we hardly loathed thee.
Congrats as well to our Survivorfest 5 winners:
Karen S - The only person to have selected Natalie to win...of course she also chose Marisa to win...
Kate - So very close...
Glenda - Had first place locked except for choosing Natalie as her Lovable Loser
And our own Lovable Loser, Toni, who eked out a tie breaker by selecting the best Lovable Loser. Very appropriate!
Rather than a blow-by-blow of the challenges and conversations of the Finale show I'm opting to throw out a summary of some of the events. Sure, it's a cop-out but I didn't even get around to sending out Christmas cards this year. Oh, yeah. Merry Christmas, everybody!!!! Does that count?
One of my favorite parts of the finale show is when they take the long trek to visit the montage of the players who have gone before them. And they all try to think of nice things to say about the losers that everyone really hated and were glad to see go. Except for Evil Russell. Like him or hate him, he called 'em like he saw 'em.
Can anyone explain why Shambo's tribal mask didn't have a mullet? I know my family was a bit disappointed.
Jaison looked like he was finished with the game about six weeks ago. In the final days he was evidently suffering from diarrhea. When he was voted out, did anyone else thing he was busting ass out of there to get to a real toilet? We need to know these things!
Evil Russell's decision to drop Jaison and keep Mick was a tough call. I think he had a better chance with Jaison just because he had the ability to say something inappropriate and inflammatory in the jury trial that might help Russell out. I guess it turned out that Mick did about the same...by being so lame that no one had any interest in giving him the million dollars.
Evil Russell definitely made the right choice by getting rid of Brett. With all the irritated Galu members on the jury and the kid making such a run at the last few immunities, I have to agree. There's no way that Brett doesn't win the money if he's with the final three.
I have to agree with his choice of keeping Natalie. Historically speaking, the "meat sandwich" types that get dragged along to the final vote and yet made no contributions other than voting along the way don't get much sympathy. Something about Russell rubbed the jury the wrong way so badly that if there were no other choice but to give Russell the money I think they'd have rather burned it. One big thing that Natalie did was living the lifestyle. She definitely seemed to give her best efforts in challenges and didn't seem to bellyache about everything. Even Jaison mentioned that she had changed dramatically from the early weeks of the game.
Still, how many other seasons of Survivor were won by someone who never won a single immunity challenge?
Okay, fess up. How many of you out there thought you knew what Shambo meant when she referred to Natalie as "the 'c' word"? Coattail was not even on my top ten list of guesses.
After Erik's rant in the trial I wonder if he's a complete pyscho. He did make a valid point though. Mick was chosen as leader and he did anything but lead, which may have played directly into Foa Foa's lousy record in challenges. Of course, so did Russell's dumping of water and other various dirty tricks.
Did anyone else think that Brett, cleaned up, looked like Eric Foreman from That 70's Show?
Did anyone else think that Ben, at the reunion show, looked like a hairdresser? Definitely not like a professional mixologist!
Like him or hate him, Russell really played this game at the highest level. He was visibly upset when he didn't win. He even offered Natalie $10,000 if he could just have the title of sole Survivor. I think that maybe he had a side bet with a buddy that he was trying to win.
Was anyone else surprised by Evil Russell's wife? She looked like a twelve-year-old biker chick. I don't know why, but I was picturing something more along the lines of an angry-looking Kathy Bates.
Next season of Survivor will be the 20th! For this lofty anniversary they will have a Heroes versus Villains competition.
I'll send out email before the next season for anyone interested in playing Survivorfest 6.
Until then, thanks for playing and I hope everyone enjoyed the game!
Have a safe, healthy and happy holiday!
Tony
Monday, December 21, 2009
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Survivorfest - week 13!
Shambo is mulleted out the door as we head to the season finale this Sunday!
Fresh from tribal council Brett is seen giving Shambo a mullet massage. Yet another indelible Survivor image that will remain forever burned into my mind.
For someone who hadn't said much of anything all season long, Brett certainly won't shut the heck up now. He was also spotted quoting Ephesians to Natalie. Have we ever seen a Survivor be this quiet and in the background and suddenly appear out of nowhere in the final two weeks of the season? It's almost like they inserted another player when we weren't looking. Hmmm....maybe they did.
Whatever or whomever he is, he seemed to make an impression on Natalie. It was off-putting hearing her talk about discussing the great Christian books of the Bible while sitting in the surf in a tiny bikini.
Evil Russell was starting to get a little tired of Shambo. The stink of her breath, her mane of mullet, her ever-running mouth...hard to tell what's really doing it for him. I guess it's the hair: "She hides food in there! Bananas and peanuts!"
Probst later asked her how long she had been rocking that particular hairstyle. "23 years! That's a long time for one hairstyle!"
Shambo: "You don't mess with perfection, baby!" followed by "feels good, looks good, love it love it love it!" I just threw up a little in my mouth. Of course I probably shouldn't talk. Having the right mix of hereditarial genes means that, if I'm lucky, I'll have this same hairstyle for the rest of my life.
The reward challenge was a gigantic game of "Kerplunk" using ropes and coconuts. First team to drop 100 coconuts lost. Reward was a trip to a nearby village for a feast and a nice night sleeping with pillows and blankets.
Evil Russell and Natalie were chosen at random for captains. Russell chose Jaison and Shambo (Shambo was the last one remaining, so she wasn't "chosen" so much as "left"). Natalie took her new spiritual leader, Brett, first followed by Mick.
While Russell's team took their turn, Natalie turned and asked Brett if he was also a "prayer warrior". Surprise! He was! She and Brett spent some time asking the Lord to help them in their quest to win a million (before taxes, right Mr. Hatch?). They included teammate Mick in the prayer, but he rolled his eyes a bit, so I think it didn't count.
Natalie's first rope pull was a success compared to Russell's and they took an early lead. Yay, God!
Evil Russell's team was quickly behind by a significant margin when Natalie put the line on the coconut and dropped 'em all up...no wait...she unleashed scores of coconuts from the heavens...no, no...let's just say that things went poorly from that point on and Evil Russell, Shambo and Jaison were headed for reward.
They arrived at the village where Shambo was attacked by the Samoan natives who threw rocks and spears at her while screaming "Die! Die, jungle she-devil!" Oh, I'm just kidding. I think they were too scared to attack her, so they attempted to appease her by stuffing her with all the foods and alcohol their village could offer in the hopes that she would leave them in peace.
Jaison reminded us how things looked from the angle of a perennial loser: "I didn't know what a reward was...I've never been on one. Hey, reward is awesome!"
Back at camp the remaining players had their own reward celebration by collecting snails, which they gobbled down on the beach. Hey, at least they didn't have to deal with a drunk Shambo that night.
Back at camp, the strategies continued.
Natalie is still in with Russell all the way to the final two: "Two brains are better than one!" I wonder where Russell's going to get the other one...
Evil Russell: "We need to get rid of Brett. He isn't bigger than me or stronger than me or faster than me." Says the guy who has yet to win a challenge.
The immunity challenge was a race to a clearing where there were several items to be counted. The player would take the numbers and return to a playing table where they would use those numbers to form a combination to open a lock, extract a club and beat the remaining players to death. Just kidding, but seriously, where's the Survivor aspect in all of this?
Brett and Mick raced ahead and were the first to believe they had all of the correct numbers for their combinations, followed by Russell. Only God knows what Natalie and Shambo were doing.
Brett finished first to win immunity! I'm starting to think that they extracted Brett while everyone else was sleeping and snuck in Ozzie.
The talk around camp centered around who should go home that night. Mick or Shambo?
Shambo's down with Russell's plan to remove Mick, although she was concerned when Jaison kept ending furtive conversations every time she approached.
Mick was down with voting off Shambo since...well, it wasn't him. He's officially reached the point of the game (if he's ever been anywhere else) where he's just cruising along and hoping for the best. Frankly Evil Russell seems to be the only one since Jonathan got blind-sided that has been doing any planning in this game.
Evil Russell seems undecided about who to keep around. He likes the idea of Mick because he can help beat Brett in the physical challenges.
At council, the remaining players admitted that they were starting to think about the end game.
They were all worried about Brett because he hadn't been blindsiding anyone and most of the remaining jury was Galu. No one said it, but I think they were all hoping to be left with Russell at the end because there was a good chance that everyone would be really pissed at him.
Mick dropped a bomb when he indicated to Probst that he had played just an aggressively strategic game as Russell. Really? Which season are you watching, Mick?
This was Russell's last week to play a hidden immunity idol, but as a show of panache he decided not to play it, and to keep it as a souvenir. Erik was going nuts on the jury. I couldn't tell if he was ready to explode with rage and frustration or if he's now Russell's biggest fan.
The votes went in and Shambo went out. Whoever they used for her "family moment" had an interesting head of hair as well. Very 80's. I suspect she's got another sister who has some 90's thing going on.
This Sunday is the finale where we rehash those who have been voted off before, a few more people get voted out, and we wrap this season up!
See you next time on...Survivorfest!
Fresh from tribal council Brett is seen giving Shambo a mullet massage. Yet another indelible Survivor image that will remain forever burned into my mind.
For someone who hadn't said much of anything all season long, Brett certainly won't shut the heck up now. He was also spotted quoting Ephesians to Natalie. Have we ever seen a Survivor be this quiet and in the background and suddenly appear out of nowhere in the final two weeks of the season? It's almost like they inserted another player when we weren't looking. Hmmm....maybe they did.
Whatever or whomever he is, he seemed to make an impression on Natalie. It was off-putting hearing her talk about discussing the great Christian books of the Bible while sitting in the surf in a tiny bikini.
Evil Russell was starting to get a little tired of Shambo. The stink of her breath, her mane of mullet, her ever-running mouth...hard to tell what's really doing it for him. I guess it's the hair: "She hides food in there! Bananas and peanuts!"
Probst later asked her how long she had been rocking that particular hairstyle. "23 years! That's a long time for one hairstyle!"
Shambo: "You don't mess with perfection, baby!" followed by "feels good, looks good, love it love it love it!" I just threw up a little in my mouth. Of course I probably shouldn't talk. Having the right mix of hereditarial genes means that, if I'm lucky, I'll have this same hairstyle for the rest of my life.
The reward challenge was a gigantic game of "Kerplunk" using ropes and coconuts. First team to drop 100 coconuts lost. Reward was a trip to a nearby village for a feast and a nice night sleeping with pillows and blankets.
Evil Russell and Natalie were chosen at random for captains. Russell chose Jaison and Shambo (Shambo was the last one remaining, so she wasn't "chosen" so much as "left"). Natalie took her new spiritual leader, Brett, first followed by Mick.
While Russell's team took their turn, Natalie turned and asked Brett if he was also a "prayer warrior". Surprise! He was! She and Brett spent some time asking the Lord to help them in their quest to win a million (before taxes, right Mr. Hatch?). They included teammate Mick in the prayer, but he rolled his eyes a bit, so I think it didn't count.
Natalie's first rope pull was a success compared to Russell's and they took an early lead. Yay, God!
Evil Russell's team was quickly behind by a significant margin when Natalie put the line on the coconut and dropped 'em all up...no wait...she unleashed scores of coconuts from the heavens...no, no...let's just say that things went poorly from that point on and Evil Russell, Shambo and Jaison were headed for reward.
They arrived at the village where Shambo was attacked by the Samoan natives who threw rocks and spears at her while screaming "Die! Die, jungle she-devil!" Oh, I'm just kidding. I think they were too scared to attack her, so they attempted to appease her by stuffing her with all the foods and alcohol their village could offer in the hopes that she would leave them in peace.
Jaison reminded us how things looked from the angle of a perennial loser: "I didn't know what a reward was...I've never been on one. Hey, reward is awesome!"
Back at camp the remaining players had their own reward celebration by collecting snails, which they gobbled down on the beach. Hey, at least they didn't have to deal with a drunk Shambo that night.
Back at camp, the strategies continued.
Natalie is still in with Russell all the way to the final two: "Two brains are better than one!" I wonder where Russell's going to get the other one...
Evil Russell: "We need to get rid of Brett. He isn't bigger than me or stronger than me or faster than me." Says the guy who has yet to win a challenge.
The immunity challenge was a race to a clearing where there were several items to be counted. The player would take the numbers and return to a playing table where they would use those numbers to form a combination to open a lock, extract a club and beat the remaining players to death. Just kidding, but seriously, where's the Survivor aspect in all of this?
Brett and Mick raced ahead and were the first to believe they had all of the correct numbers for their combinations, followed by Russell. Only God knows what Natalie and Shambo were doing.
Brett finished first to win immunity! I'm starting to think that they extracted Brett while everyone else was sleeping and snuck in Ozzie.
The talk around camp centered around who should go home that night. Mick or Shambo?
Shambo's down with Russell's plan to remove Mick, although she was concerned when Jaison kept ending furtive conversations every time she approached.
Mick was down with voting off Shambo since...well, it wasn't him. He's officially reached the point of the game (if he's ever been anywhere else) where he's just cruising along and hoping for the best. Frankly Evil Russell seems to be the only one since Jonathan got blind-sided that has been doing any planning in this game.
Evil Russell seems undecided about who to keep around. He likes the idea of Mick because he can help beat Brett in the physical challenges.
At council, the remaining players admitted that they were starting to think about the end game.
They were all worried about Brett because he hadn't been blindsiding anyone and most of the remaining jury was Galu. No one said it, but I think they were all hoping to be left with Russell at the end because there was a good chance that everyone would be really pissed at him.
Mick dropped a bomb when he indicated to Probst that he had played just an aggressively strategic game as Russell. Really? Which season are you watching, Mick?
This was Russell's last week to play a hidden immunity idol, but as a show of panache he decided not to play it, and to keep it as a souvenir. Erik was going nuts on the jury. I couldn't tell if he was ready to explode with rage and frustration or if he's now Russell's biggest fan.
The votes went in and Shambo went out. Whoever they used for her "family moment" had an interesting head of hair as well. Very 80's. I suspect she's got another sister who has some 90's thing going on.
This Sunday is the finale where we rehash those who have been voted off before, a few more people get voted out, and we wrap this season up!
See you next time on...Survivorfest!
Friday, December 11, 2009
Survivorfest week12
Dave is now out of Danger and Monica kicks up some dust on her way out!
Fresh from yet another blindside, Evil Russell tried to mend fences with Shambo since she was feeling a little put out that she wasn't still allowed to be part of the big people's plans. He claimed that John had been scheming against here and that he worked a blindside behind her back so she wouldn't have to go back on her word to avoid voting him off.
While she was still displeased to have Danger Dave around camp, she seemed somewhat mollified by this. Of course, Russell completely made it up.
Jaison spent some time chatting with Monica and Brett. He told them that he and Evil Russell were in cahoots the whole way through the game and that he was just letting Russ look like he was running things. A bold move considering:
a. it was completely untrue
b. Evil Russell can get away with that stuff because he's, well, Evil Russell
c. he's probably not enamoring himself with the remainder of the Galu tribe which has gone from the most powerful group to practically irrelevant.
Further, Jaison let on that Evil Russell was independently wealthy and didn't really need to win the game for financial reasons.
Brett can't grow a beard to save his life. I've seen more peach fuzz on a high school kid. Seriously, he looks like Shaggy.
No reward challenge this week. There will be two immunity challenges, two tribal councils and two people voted off.
I will handle each council as a separate week for the purpose of the game, so the second person voted off tonight will get one more point for sticking around than the first.
The challenge was Survivor bowling. Pretty much just like it sounds.
It turns out that Shambo bowls. Who would have guessed?
Shambo won her heat against Natalie.
Evil Russell surpassed Brett and his two gutter balls.
Jaison beat Monica to continue on.
Dave hit the only strike of the game to go past Mick.
Anyone else notice how much Probst likes to call Dave by his full name "Dave Ball"? It's getting a little weird.
Shambo beat Russell in the next round and Jaison defeated Dave, who went from a strike on his last game to two gutter balls.
Shambo versus Jaison for immunity! The king and queen of choke go head to head!
Shambo started off with a gutter ball. Jaison followed with a gutter ball. Shambo threw again and got another gutter ball, completing her end of the choke. Could Jaison manage to toss away an easy chance at immunity?
Alas, no. He managed to graze a few pins to win.
Back at camp, Shambo is sure that Dave is headed home. I'm always surprised when people this far into the game are sure of anything.
Mick is fine with following along like a sheep. Heck, it's gotten him this far.
Monica started working on Evil Russell again. It was kind of a repeat of last time where she's all "you're so awesome...why do you want to take a chance by keeping someone like Shambo around?"
She did get Evil Russell's blindside muscles twitchy enough to go have a chat with Dave on the beach.
Russell wanted to know why Dave hadn't come to talk with him about sticking around longer. Didn't he know that Russell was the king? They discussed a blindside of Shambo. Dave started to see a ray of hope.
Shambo made a Survivorfest hall of fame quote with the phrase "I'm the Sham with the plan!" I just died a little inside.
At council Shambo made a big deal out of expressing her distaste over the blindside of John. It was a good move. The people who did it didn't care what she thought, but it sounded good to John who was sitting on the jury.
Dave was voted out, leaving the previously powerful Galu with nothing but scraps of their former team.
Back at camp Evil Russell started working to remove any traces of Galu. Brett was now the biggest threat in the game. Seriously? I'm not sure, but I think he might be mute. Has he said more than ten words on-camera all season? Has he won anything?
Mick now acknowledges that, while he was voted as leader in the early part of the game, Evil Russell is clearly the leader of this game.
The second immunity challenge was a race through water to retrieve bags that would then be catapulted by a see-saw onto the top of a tower. I am officially eliminating Natalie, Shambo and Monica right now.
The challenge began and Jaison, Mick and Brett took an early lead.
Probst noted that Natalie was struggling just to keep her swimsuit on. I think it's a good indication of fake boobs when you lose so much weight that your bikini bottom is falling off when you walk, but your top still fits just fine. Just sayin'...
It doesn't seem like Monica is heavy enough to catapult the bags to the top of the tower.
Everyone struggled with the running portion. They all look really tired.
Brett finished first, just ahead of Mick to win reward!
Back at camp, Evil Russell adjusted his strategy...he now wanted Monica out.
Brett started speaking, which was new. Mick started to realize that his time for making a bold move to separate from the rest of the group is coming to a close. He needs to make a move soon.
Monica knew she was in jeopardy, so back to Russell she went. This time, instead of cajoling him, she tried to get him pissed off. She told him that Natalie had ratted him out about his financial worth and that Jaison was ready to vote him off.
Evil Russell spent the rest of the day storming around the camp accusing people of talking to the enemy and trying to find out who said what, and to whom.
Jaison was the one who told Galu about his wealth, and while he confessed that he might have told them, he "doesn't remember doing it". Those of us married men know that the "I don't remember doing it" excuse isn't going to get you very far. If you haven't learned that lesson yet, please don't try it.
At council, Evil Russell started the festivities by taking out his hidden immunity idol and putting it around his neck. I like the move for the following reasons:
a. everyone is starting to consider gunning for him anyway
b. if people were going to vote for him at council that night, he just set their strategy on its ear
c. in case he ended up going out without using it he at least let everyone know that he found a record-setting number of immunity idols.
Win or lose, Evil Russell is officially the king of Survivor Samoa.
The jury came in. Danger Dave looks completely psychotic. Crazy Jesus hair and, I'm not sure, but I think he was wearing a kilt.
Evil Russell elected to not play the idol. Turns out he didn't need it. Monica was voted out, leaving only Brett and Shambo from Galu.
Next week, if anyone is going to do something about Evil Russell it had better be soon.
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Fresh from yet another blindside, Evil Russell tried to mend fences with Shambo since she was feeling a little put out that she wasn't still allowed to be part of the big people's plans. He claimed that John had been scheming against here and that he worked a blindside behind her back so she wouldn't have to go back on her word to avoid voting him off.
While she was still displeased to have Danger Dave around camp, she seemed somewhat mollified by this. Of course, Russell completely made it up.
Jaison spent some time chatting with Monica and Brett. He told them that he and Evil Russell were in cahoots the whole way through the game and that he was just letting Russ look like he was running things. A bold move considering:
a. it was completely untrue
b. Evil Russell can get away with that stuff because he's, well, Evil Russell
c. he's probably not enamoring himself with the remainder of the Galu tribe which has gone from the most powerful group to practically irrelevant.
Further, Jaison let on that Evil Russell was independently wealthy and didn't really need to win the game for financial reasons.
Brett can't grow a beard to save his life. I've seen more peach fuzz on a high school kid. Seriously, he looks like Shaggy.
No reward challenge this week. There will be two immunity challenges, two tribal councils and two people voted off.
I will handle each council as a separate week for the purpose of the game, so the second person voted off tonight will get one more point for sticking around than the first.
The challenge was Survivor bowling. Pretty much just like it sounds.
It turns out that Shambo bowls. Who would have guessed?
Shambo won her heat against Natalie.
Evil Russell surpassed Brett and his two gutter balls.
Jaison beat Monica to continue on.
Dave hit the only strike of the game to go past Mick.
Anyone else notice how much Probst likes to call Dave by his full name "Dave Ball"? It's getting a little weird.
Shambo beat Russell in the next round and Jaison defeated Dave, who went from a strike on his last game to two gutter balls.
Shambo versus Jaison for immunity! The king and queen of choke go head to head!
Shambo started off with a gutter ball. Jaison followed with a gutter ball. Shambo threw again and got another gutter ball, completing her end of the choke. Could Jaison manage to toss away an easy chance at immunity?
Alas, no. He managed to graze a few pins to win.
Back at camp, Shambo is sure that Dave is headed home. I'm always surprised when people this far into the game are sure of anything.
Mick is fine with following along like a sheep. Heck, it's gotten him this far.
Monica started working on Evil Russell again. It was kind of a repeat of last time where she's all "you're so awesome...why do you want to take a chance by keeping someone like Shambo around?"
She did get Evil Russell's blindside muscles twitchy enough to go have a chat with Dave on the beach.
Russell wanted to know why Dave hadn't come to talk with him about sticking around longer. Didn't he know that Russell was the king? They discussed a blindside of Shambo. Dave started to see a ray of hope.
Shambo made a Survivorfest hall of fame quote with the phrase "I'm the Sham with the plan!" I just died a little inside.
At council Shambo made a big deal out of expressing her distaste over the blindside of John. It was a good move. The people who did it didn't care what she thought, but it sounded good to John who was sitting on the jury.
Dave was voted out, leaving the previously powerful Galu with nothing but scraps of their former team.
Back at camp Evil Russell started working to remove any traces of Galu. Brett was now the biggest threat in the game. Seriously? I'm not sure, but I think he might be mute. Has he said more than ten words on-camera all season? Has he won anything?
Mick now acknowledges that, while he was voted as leader in the early part of the game, Evil Russell is clearly the leader of this game.
The second immunity challenge was a race through water to retrieve bags that would then be catapulted by a see-saw onto the top of a tower. I am officially eliminating Natalie, Shambo and Monica right now.
The challenge began and Jaison, Mick and Brett took an early lead.
Probst noted that Natalie was struggling just to keep her swimsuit on. I think it's a good indication of fake boobs when you lose so much weight that your bikini bottom is falling off when you walk, but your top still fits just fine. Just sayin'...
It doesn't seem like Monica is heavy enough to catapult the bags to the top of the tower.
Everyone struggled with the running portion. They all look really tired.
Brett finished first, just ahead of Mick to win reward!
Back at camp, Evil Russell adjusted his strategy...he now wanted Monica out.
Brett started speaking, which was new. Mick started to realize that his time for making a bold move to separate from the rest of the group is coming to a close. He needs to make a move soon.
Monica knew she was in jeopardy, so back to Russell she went. This time, instead of cajoling him, she tried to get him pissed off. She told him that Natalie had ratted him out about his financial worth and that Jaison was ready to vote him off.
Evil Russell spent the rest of the day storming around the camp accusing people of talking to the enemy and trying to find out who said what, and to whom.
Jaison was the one who told Galu about his wealth, and while he confessed that he might have told them, he "doesn't remember doing it". Those of us married men know that the "I don't remember doing it" excuse isn't going to get you very far. If you haven't learned that lesson yet, please don't try it.
At council, Evil Russell started the festivities by taking out his hidden immunity idol and putting it around his neck. I like the move for the following reasons:
a. everyone is starting to consider gunning for him anyway
b. if people were going to vote for him at council that night, he just set their strategy on its ear
c. in case he ended up going out without using it he at least let everyone know that he found a record-setting number of immunity idols.
Win or lose, Evil Russell is officially the king of Survivor Samoa.
The jury came in. Danger Dave looks completely psychotic. Crazy Jesus hair and, I'm not sure, but I think he was wearing a kilt.
Evil Russell elected to not play the idol. Turns out he didn't need it. Monica was voted out, leaving only Brett and Shambo from Galu.
Next week, if anyone is going to do something about Evil Russell it had better be soon.
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Monday, December 07, 2009
Survivorfest - week 11!
It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who got blind-sided this week!
Fresh from council after Laura was cast out after one of her Galu brethren decided he'd rather see her gone than to have a one in ten chance at going himself, Shambo was exultant: "Medusa has been dethroned!" I think Sham was mixing her Greek mythologies, but you can forgive her excitement as this was one of the few councils where she actually knew what was going to happen and got to vote for the person who was actually leaving.
John rationalized his decision as rather having Laura go than him taking a small risk. He didn't seem to be aware or to care that he'd further fractured the quivering mass that was once mighty Galu. I don't disagree with his thinking, but I'd have loved to see the results of the random stone draw to see who would leave. If Mick would have been at risk I'm surprised he didn't consider doing the same thing to Natalie.
Monica wasn't happy with having her BFF voted off: "At some point you need to show loyalty and integrity [in this game]." Yeah, but I think that was weeks 1-5 maybe. All bets are off this close to a million bucks, sister.
My oldest pointed out that Monica was just grouchy because (much like Shambo) the people she wants to get voted off seem to stick around.
Survivor auction!
Everyone was thrilled to have an envelope full of cash (fake cash?) waiting for them at tree mail. It meant the opportunity to buy something that they could eat.
Natalie quickly tossed in 200 smackaroos for a PB&J. This is where mistakes are often made. You know that there's better stuff coming, so why cash in on a sandwich?
Shambo paid $240 for a covered dish. It ended up being sea noodles. Some kind of sea animal intestines. I think they had to eat it for a challenge several weeks back. To her credit, she was happy for the protein and gobbled it down.
Monica spent $340 for another covered dish which turned out to be a whole roasted chicken. Finger-lickin' good!
The next item was a weird, candle-looking thing that would provide help in the next challenge. Jaison put on his big boy pants and spent his full $500 on it. He would find out what it was for later.
Mick spent his $500 on a beer and cheeseburger. At least at Fuddrucker's you get table service for that kind of change.
The next item was a clue to the hidden camp idol. John bought it for $200. I could almost hear Evil Russell chuckling to himself as he forked over the cash.
Natalie spent $120 for a shower. John was part of the bidding but let her have it: "Nobody wants to see me take a shower". Oddly the shower stall was right out in front of everyone. As she undressed and started to wash herself they started playing Survivor-style porn music. Bow-chicka-wow-wow. Good stuff. I suspect they brought in extra cameras for the inevitable Suvivor Samoa: Uncensored!
The next item was a large piece of apple pie. John won it for $300. The catch was that he could eat the pie or get an entire pie to share with his tribe. John opted to have just the one piece all to himself. I'm not clear if he had taken the whole pie if he would not have gotten some himself.
Nevertheless he didn't engender much good will with his buds. Evil Russell was especially critical of the "bad play".
Watching the commercial for the show Medium. How did Patricia Arquette make it into show business with such bad teeth? Crooked as a dog's hind leg.
Back at camp John looked for the hidden idol with his clue. When he was unable to find it, he assumed Evil Russell had already located it. Turns out he was right.
It was time, evidently, to eat the chickens. In the Thanksgiving show Evil Russell had opened the cage door to let them out and create further chaos. Evidently that didn't go anywhere or the chickens had figured out that escaping wasn't a great option for them. Turns out they were wrong about that.
Shambo took the news hard, and apologized to her feathered buddies: "I'll talk to you when I get to heaven..."
Okay, two things on that:
1. Are there chickens in heaven?
2. If there are, can you get into heaven after murdering and eating them and then do you get to talk to them?
I need to know these things.
Mick and Evil Russell did the deed and soon Shambo took ownership of cooking up her little darlings.
Dave decided that this would be a good time to start a fight over how Sham was cooking the chicken. Probably a bad idea since Shambo was in such a fowl mood...Hehehhehehee...cause the chickens were..sigh. You try being funny after ten weeks.
That night Shambo had a nightmare that the dead chickens came back to her and told her that she should divest herself of all worldly goods, shave her head and devote the remainder of her life to the great chicken god Colonel Sanders. That didn't actually happen, but if there are chickens in heaven and any of them have a sense of humor, I think they would have done that.
No, Shambo dreamed that the tribe would vote off Dave at next council. She believed this would come to pass because she's always been somewhat clairvoyant and believed that it was God's divine inspiration. I dunno. Seems like if you're willing to believe that God interrupted your sleep to instruct you to vote Danger Dave off at next council to improve your chances at winning a million dollars, then the chicken god thing doesn't sound quite so crazy, does it?
Evil Russell made sure to egg her on. He believes in her visions as well, especially when it comes to voting other people off the show.
The immunity challenge was a heavy log at the end of a knotted rope. After several minutes each player would switch hands and drop back one knot on the rope and repeat until they held on to the unknotted end. The last one to drop their log would win immunity.
Jaison's reward from the auction was to move forward two knots at any time.
It was a hot and steamy day in Samoa that day, my friends, and our lovable band of castaways courageously battled to keep their sweaty little mitts on the rope.
On the fourth knot everyone was still in the challenge. Jaison elected to use his auction helper at this point.
Shambo dropped out first, followed quickly by Evil Russell. He had a charley horse in his forearm, evidently. I'm starting to wonder if Evil Russell is one of those guys who will never win an individual immunity challenge.
Monica was out next. Then John and then Brett.
Shockingly, Natalie was still in it! I wonder if her freshly cleaned hands were somehow extra sticky.
Mick dropped out. There goes Natalie. Jaison and Danger Dave were left. Dave futilely grasping at his rope end and Jaison looking surprisingly uncomfortable hanging onto his second knot. Dave eventually gave in to fatigue.
Jaison wins immunity! Jaison actually won an immunity challenge! Well, technically he bought the win, but still...I had visions of him being another one not to win a challenge despite being a "physical player".
I can tell you this for certain...if he hadn't bought that helper at auction he would certainly have lost to Dave.
Back at camp Evil Russell and Jonathan were talking about who from Foa Foa should be sent home that night. John wanted Mick out. John reminded Evil Russell that he agreed to vote out a Foa Foa person next. It was a shame to waste the oxygen that Russ used to lie with his reply.
Russ then asked where John had been looking for the idol in a curious how-do-you-like-the-weather-sort-of-way.
John told him and Russ couldn't help but fess up to finding the idol days earlier. The man simply cannot help himself. Think of the fun he could have had letting John run around the whole of Samoa looking for an idol that wasn't there.
He laughed to the camera and said "these poor people should close they ears when I start to talk! 'Cause I slipped and told John that I had the idol and now he gotta go!"
Evil Russell went to Danger Dave and told him that he was "next". Dave seemed rather bewildered but believed it. He readily accepted Russell's plan to vote John off next.
Russell soon had everyone convinced that Jonathan was the biggest threat (he avoided the topic with Shambo who was still on her vision quest).
Jaison was the lone voice of concern...they were about to do to Shambo what her old tribe had done: tell her they were voting one way and then go the other. The main difference was that this meant that Galu would no longer have the majority.
At council Laura still seemed a little steamed. She wouldn't look at her former tribemates. This is going to be a tough tribal council for someone.
Probst probed a little as to how the votes would go that night. When Evil Russell indicated that his vote would be strategic, Shambo did a double take.
This surprised me. Normally someone with as little self-awareness as her would see her reasoning around taking out Dave and add all kinds of rationale behind it: he's clever, he's tough at challenges, he wants to finish off Foa Foa, etc. She seemed to realize that her interest in getting him gone was less about strategy and more about some type of chicken-induced vengeance.
The votes were in and Jonathan went through the classic signs of Survivor denial.
first vote: Heh. The guy that I'm voting off wrote my name down. Poor, deluded bastard.
second vote: Heh. Hey, what?
third vote: Uh, oh...
fourth vote: Oh, crap! Why didn't I bring my stuff tonight?
Next week let's see if the blindsides continue on....Survivorfest!
Fresh from council after Laura was cast out after one of her Galu brethren decided he'd rather see her gone than to have a one in ten chance at going himself, Shambo was exultant: "Medusa has been dethroned!" I think Sham was mixing her Greek mythologies, but you can forgive her excitement as this was one of the few councils where she actually knew what was going to happen and got to vote for the person who was actually leaving.
John rationalized his decision as rather having Laura go than him taking a small risk. He didn't seem to be aware or to care that he'd further fractured the quivering mass that was once mighty Galu. I don't disagree with his thinking, but I'd have loved to see the results of the random stone draw to see who would leave. If Mick would have been at risk I'm surprised he didn't consider doing the same thing to Natalie.
Monica wasn't happy with having her BFF voted off: "At some point you need to show loyalty and integrity [in this game]." Yeah, but I think that was weeks 1-5 maybe. All bets are off this close to a million bucks, sister.
My oldest pointed out that Monica was just grouchy because (much like Shambo) the people she wants to get voted off seem to stick around.
Survivor auction!
Everyone was thrilled to have an envelope full of cash (fake cash?) waiting for them at tree mail. It meant the opportunity to buy something that they could eat.
Natalie quickly tossed in 200 smackaroos for a PB&J. This is where mistakes are often made. You know that there's better stuff coming, so why cash in on a sandwich?
Shambo paid $240 for a covered dish. It ended up being sea noodles. Some kind of sea animal intestines. I think they had to eat it for a challenge several weeks back. To her credit, she was happy for the protein and gobbled it down.
Monica spent $340 for another covered dish which turned out to be a whole roasted chicken. Finger-lickin' good!
The next item was a weird, candle-looking thing that would provide help in the next challenge. Jaison put on his big boy pants and spent his full $500 on it. He would find out what it was for later.
Mick spent his $500 on a beer and cheeseburger. At least at Fuddrucker's you get table service for that kind of change.
The next item was a clue to the hidden camp idol. John bought it for $200. I could almost hear Evil Russell chuckling to himself as he forked over the cash.
Natalie spent $120 for a shower. John was part of the bidding but let her have it: "Nobody wants to see me take a shower". Oddly the shower stall was right out in front of everyone. As she undressed and started to wash herself they started playing Survivor-style porn music. Bow-chicka-wow-wow. Good stuff. I suspect they brought in extra cameras for the inevitable Suvivor Samoa: Uncensored!
The next item was a large piece of apple pie. John won it for $300. The catch was that he could eat the pie or get an entire pie to share with his tribe. John opted to have just the one piece all to himself. I'm not clear if he had taken the whole pie if he would not have gotten some himself.
Nevertheless he didn't engender much good will with his buds. Evil Russell was especially critical of the "bad play".
Watching the commercial for the show Medium. How did Patricia Arquette make it into show business with such bad teeth? Crooked as a dog's hind leg.
Back at camp John looked for the hidden idol with his clue. When he was unable to find it, he assumed Evil Russell had already located it. Turns out he was right.
It was time, evidently, to eat the chickens. In the Thanksgiving show Evil Russell had opened the cage door to let them out and create further chaos. Evidently that didn't go anywhere or the chickens had figured out that escaping wasn't a great option for them. Turns out they were wrong about that.
Shambo took the news hard, and apologized to her feathered buddies: "I'll talk to you when I get to heaven..."
Okay, two things on that:
1. Are there chickens in heaven?
2. If there are, can you get into heaven after murdering and eating them and then do you get to talk to them?
I need to know these things.
Mick and Evil Russell did the deed and soon Shambo took ownership of cooking up her little darlings.
Dave decided that this would be a good time to start a fight over how Sham was cooking the chicken. Probably a bad idea since Shambo was in such a fowl mood...Hehehhehehee...cause the chickens were..sigh. You try being funny after ten weeks.
That night Shambo had a nightmare that the dead chickens came back to her and told her that she should divest herself of all worldly goods, shave her head and devote the remainder of her life to the great chicken god Colonel Sanders. That didn't actually happen, but if there are chickens in heaven and any of them have a sense of humor, I think they would have done that.
No, Shambo dreamed that the tribe would vote off Dave at next council. She believed this would come to pass because she's always been somewhat clairvoyant and believed that it was God's divine inspiration. I dunno. Seems like if you're willing to believe that God interrupted your sleep to instruct you to vote Danger Dave off at next council to improve your chances at winning a million dollars, then the chicken god thing doesn't sound quite so crazy, does it?
Evil Russell made sure to egg her on. He believes in her visions as well, especially when it comes to voting other people off the show.
The immunity challenge was a heavy log at the end of a knotted rope. After several minutes each player would switch hands and drop back one knot on the rope and repeat until they held on to the unknotted end. The last one to drop their log would win immunity.
Jaison's reward from the auction was to move forward two knots at any time.
It was a hot and steamy day in Samoa that day, my friends, and our lovable band of castaways courageously battled to keep their sweaty little mitts on the rope.
On the fourth knot everyone was still in the challenge. Jaison elected to use his auction helper at this point.
Shambo dropped out first, followed quickly by Evil Russell. He had a charley horse in his forearm, evidently. I'm starting to wonder if Evil Russell is one of those guys who will never win an individual immunity challenge.
Monica was out next. Then John and then Brett.
Shockingly, Natalie was still in it! I wonder if her freshly cleaned hands were somehow extra sticky.
Mick dropped out. There goes Natalie. Jaison and Danger Dave were left. Dave futilely grasping at his rope end and Jaison looking surprisingly uncomfortable hanging onto his second knot. Dave eventually gave in to fatigue.
Jaison wins immunity! Jaison actually won an immunity challenge! Well, technically he bought the win, but still...I had visions of him being another one not to win a challenge despite being a "physical player".
I can tell you this for certain...if he hadn't bought that helper at auction he would certainly have lost to Dave.
Back at camp Evil Russell and Jonathan were talking about who from Foa Foa should be sent home that night. John wanted Mick out. John reminded Evil Russell that he agreed to vote out a Foa Foa person next. It was a shame to waste the oxygen that Russ used to lie with his reply.
Russ then asked where John had been looking for the idol in a curious how-do-you-like-the-weather-sort-of-way.
John told him and Russ couldn't help but fess up to finding the idol days earlier. The man simply cannot help himself. Think of the fun he could have had letting John run around the whole of Samoa looking for an idol that wasn't there.
He laughed to the camera and said "these poor people should close they ears when I start to talk! 'Cause I slipped and told John that I had the idol and now he gotta go!"
Evil Russell went to Danger Dave and told him that he was "next". Dave seemed rather bewildered but believed it. He readily accepted Russell's plan to vote John off next.
Russell soon had everyone convinced that Jonathan was the biggest threat (he avoided the topic with Shambo who was still on her vision quest).
Jaison was the lone voice of concern...they were about to do to Shambo what her old tribe had done: tell her they were voting one way and then go the other. The main difference was that this meant that Galu would no longer have the majority.
At council Laura still seemed a little steamed. She wouldn't look at her former tribemates. This is going to be a tough tribal council for someone.
Probst probed a little as to how the votes would go that night. When Evil Russell indicated that his vote would be strategic, Shambo did a double take.
This surprised me. Normally someone with as little self-awareness as her would see her reasoning around taking out Dave and add all kinds of rationale behind it: he's clever, he's tough at challenges, he wants to finish off Foa Foa, etc. She seemed to realize that her interest in getting him gone was less about strategy and more about some type of chicken-induced vengeance.
The votes were in and Jonathan went through the classic signs of Survivor denial.
first vote: Heh. The guy that I'm voting off wrote my name down. Poor, deluded bastard.
second vote: Heh. Hey, what?
third vote: Uh, oh...
fourth vote: Oh, crap! Why didn't I bring my stuff tonight?
Next week let's see if the blindsides continue on....Survivorfest!
Friday, November 27, 2009
Survivorfest week 10 - 1/2!
CBS treated us to the typical Thanksgiving Day leftovers...no one voted off but some additional video and background information on what has come to pass thus far.
Mick and Russ started out getting the "leader" targets placed squarely on their back. We all saw what happened to Russell. Mick manage to stay out of harms way by becoming particularly inept at any form of leadership. When asked for advice on simple tasks he turned into Boomhauer from King of the Hill.
Evil Russell appeared to know the way to any girl's heart is through her thin, bony frame. He figured that by acting as a snuggle-bunny to Ashley or Natalie to ward off the cold that they would consider him whipped and want to keep him in the game. Visions of an Evil Russell sandwich dance in my head. I wish I could quit them.
Evil Russell really has this game by the short hairs. He's found some papaya to feast on while most of the rest of his tribe is feeding on small scraps. He even had a nice long conversation with Danger Dave while wearing a hidden immunity idol. Evidently it was too dark for Dave to see it or he just hadn't woken up yet.
Shambo believes Danger Dave is a complete and utter moron. It turns out he feels the same. I get the feeling that Dave's had about enough of playing nicely with Shambo. Things could get interesting between them shortly.
The Battle Royale that ended up with Ben getting benched was interesting. Evidently Jonathan was laying into Jaison pretty good and Jaison didn't like it. He protested to Probst. As a former water polo player, a physical competitive sport, I can't believe Jaison was whining so much. He's a fricking pretty-boy rocket scientist for gosh sakes. Get in there and do some damage, cupcake!
"The chicken affair" as it shall now always be known was resolved. After Shambo let the chicken go Erik made it his personal mission to retrieve it. The low point (or high point for the chicken) was when Erik clotheslined himself chasing it down.
After that Erik went a little Lord of the Flies. I suspect his obsession with catching the fowl might have led to him getting blindsided as he seemed to be spending more time worrying about the chicken mocking him than the rest of the tribe having an impromptu "let's get rid of Erik" meeting right in front of him.
Eventually they were able to lure the poor bird under the fishing net and re-captured it. Erik was beside himself with glee. "The chicken that has mocked be for 10-12 days...caught!" That's a really long time, dude.
I think he was really looking forward to eating the chicken. That might explain why he was so angry at tribal council. The chicken had escaped him again.
Brett was baffled by the decision to blindside Erik. It really did shed some light on the bizarre, unplanned decision making that's led Galu to it's current, shaky state. No wonder Jonathan was so frustrated last week.
Turns out Evil Russell couldn't contain himself about his financial success and told Mick he was a millionaire. Is there any secret he has kept in this game? Wait for him to start making up stories about who he's slept with at camp. That should be fun.
Shambo had a little breakdown over a sister who died twenty years ago. Laura looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there. I kept waiting for her to say "Sham, I'm sorry for your loss, but your tears are blocking the sun I'm trying to tan with!"
Laura did use an interesting phrase to describe Shambo. "Self-paranoid". Redundant, yet remarkably reasonable-sounding.
Natalie is clearly hoping to ride someone's (anyone's) coattails to the finals in this game. I don't really get the people who glide along and let themselves be brought to the finals and then they claim they "played the game well" when they are inevitably voted out. Wait for it...she'll use that line.
Next week things should heat up as Evil Russell gets back to old tricks in letting the chickens loose again!
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
For further reality TV enjoyment, try the Redneck Bachelor! http://redneckbachelor.blogspot.com/
Mick and Russ started out getting the "leader" targets placed squarely on their back. We all saw what happened to Russell. Mick manage to stay out of harms way by becoming particularly inept at any form of leadership. When asked for advice on simple tasks he turned into Boomhauer from King of the Hill.
Evil Russell appeared to know the way to any girl's heart is through her thin, bony frame. He figured that by acting as a snuggle-bunny to Ashley or Natalie to ward off the cold that they would consider him whipped and want to keep him in the game. Visions of an Evil Russell sandwich dance in my head. I wish I could quit them.
Evil Russell really has this game by the short hairs. He's found some papaya to feast on while most of the rest of his tribe is feeding on small scraps. He even had a nice long conversation with Danger Dave while wearing a hidden immunity idol. Evidently it was too dark for Dave to see it or he just hadn't woken up yet.
Shambo believes Danger Dave is a complete and utter moron. It turns out he feels the same. I get the feeling that Dave's had about enough of playing nicely with Shambo. Things could get interesting between them shortly.
The Battle Royale that ended up with Ben getting benched was interesting. Evidently Jonathan was laying into Jaison pretty good and Jaison didn't like it. He protested to Probst. As a former water polo player, a physical competitive sport, I can't believe Jaison was whining so much. He's a fricking pretty-boy rocket scientist for gosh sakes. Get in there and do some damage, cupcake!
"The chicken affair" as it shall now always be known was resolved. After Shambo let the chicken go Erik made it his personal mission to retrieve it. The low point (or high point for the chicken) was when Erik clotheslined himself chasing it down.
After that Erik went a little Lord of the Flies. I suspect his obsession with catching the fowl might have led to him getting blindsided as he seemed to be spending more time worrying about the chicken mocking him than the rest of the tribe having an impromptu "let's get rid of Erik" meeting right in front of him.
Eventually they were able to lure the poor bird under the fishing net and re-captured it. Erik was beside himself with glee. "The chicken that has mocked be for 10-12 days...caught!" That's a really long time, dude.
I think he was really looking forward to eating the chicken. That might explain why he was so angry at tribal council. The chicken had escaped him again.
Brett was baffled by the decision to blindside Erik. It really did shed some light on the bizarre, unplanned decision making that's led Galu to it's current, shaky state. No wonder Jonathan was so frustrated last week.
Turns out Evil Russell couldn't contain himself about his financial success and told Mick he was a millionaire. Is there any secret he has kept in this game? Wait for him to start making up stories about who he's slept with at camp. That should be fun.
Shambo had a little breakdown over a sister who died twenty years ago. Laura looked like she wanted to be anywhere but there. I kept waiting for her to say "Sham, I'm sorry for your loss, but your tears are blocking the sun I'm trying to tan with!"
Laura did use an interesting phrase to describe Shambo. "Self-paranoid". Redundant, yet remarkably reasonable-sounding.
Natalie is clearly hoping to ride someone's (anyone's) coattails to the finals in this game. I don't really get the people who glide along and let themselves be brought to the finals and then they claim they "played the game well" when they are inevitably voted out. Wait for it...she'll use that line.
Next week things should heat up as Evil Russell gets back to old tricks in letting the chickens loose again!
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
For further reality TV enjoyment, try the Redneck Bachelor! http://redneckbachelor.blogspot.com/
Friday, November 20, 2009
Survivorfest - week 10!
Laura blindsided, Galu in shambles!
Probst indicated at tribal council that the hidden idol will be put back into camp once again. I think this is the first Survivorfest where we've seen so many points getting lumped into that category, especially for one person.
Evil Russell claimed: "It's like a Picasa [sic]! It might be my best pieces of work I ever done!"
He finished up with "It was almost as great as my kids being born!"
Rarely ever has the word "almost" kept someone in the running for Father of the Year. Whew. I've got money on him there, too. Unfortunately they don't give out immunity idols.
Danger Dave, who provided the best comic relief with his looks of utter shock during the last two blindsides, gave Evil Russell his props.
Laura growled under her breath that they should have known better than to assume that he didn't have another idol. My wife pointed out that Monica did and they poo-pooed her.
Shambo cackled like a deranged hag and chortled that only her and Russ knew about the idol maneuver. I wonder why it was that she wrote down his name anyway...was she hedging her bets that he wouldn't play it or trying to make things look good for her team in case any of them can count.
The next morning, Evil Russell was at it again, doin' what he do.
Shambo sat back and groused about Laura, calling her, among other things, the viper queen. She kind of took a page out of Coach's book, propping up someone so that when they went down she would look like the Dragonslayer. Remember that one? Yeah, good stuff. Hope to see Coach again in the next Favorites season.
Speaking of Coach, he called out the use of the word "ridonkculous" in the CBS blog: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor/community/blogs/blog.php?key=0. I think you know who took his shots at that abomination of the English language, thank you very much. So very last week, Coach, so very last week.
The reward challenge was much like a care flight experience. One player would lie on a board tied with ropes. The other team members pulled the player to and fro to pick up flags and stick them in assigned slots. Reward was a Palm Pre placement commercial. I mean, a picnic, a plane ride and a Palm Pre placement commercial. I suspect if I type "Palm Pre" enough that I will get an ad out of it. Palm Pre Palm Pre Palm Pre...ah, there we go.
Jonathan was placed on the platform for one team and Natalie took the other.
My wife Kathy thought that Natalie would be okay as her silicon implants would likely cushion her from any damage. The wife was on fire this evening, let me tell you.
Whoops. There's one of those implants now! I hope CBS isn't paying for the blur machine by the minute or this little escapade might not be worth the fine they'd get hit for letting it go.
Natalie was quite gifted at this challenge, hanging halfway out of her cradle (and her dress) to reach the flags. Her team was also adept at moving her around and won the challenge handily.
Natalie, Brett, Dave, Laura and Evil Russell were headed for reward. Again, I think the other team suffered from too much Fao Fao.
At reward, the group was given a clue to the idol. "A rolling stone gathers no moss" to which Natalie replied "a rolling stone gathers no what!?!" Indeed. Is there more than a handful of adults on this earth that couldn't complete that sentence?
Back at camp the remaining Fao Fao members tried to flip Monica. She wasn't having any of it and tattled on them to her former Galu pals.
On the return of the rest of the tribe, the hunt was on for the hidden idol. Danger Dave took after Evil Russell, assuming (with good reason) that he was the most likely to find it.
Evil Russell took off on a run and soon lost Danger Dave. I am aware how much this sounds like a bad Saturday morning cartoon. Russell looped around once he had lost Dave and circled back to the spot he wanted to search. Bingo. Evil Russell had found an unprecedented third hidden idol. "This is getting way too easy!"
Evil Russell hid the idol and, for once, managed not to blab to everyone that he had it.
The immunity challenge was a series of tiles that each player got to throw a rock at. If one of the player's tiles was broken, they would receive a spear for a crossbow shot in the next leg of the challenge.
Right now I am calling out that Shambo would miss miserably with her throw.
Yup. There it went. You can ask my wife, I called it.
Laura went first and missed. Shambo laughed and laughed. Um. You missed too, idiot.
Brett broke two of his tiles while Jaison, Mick and Monica each had one of theirs broken.
Brett went first and hit the target. Jaison missed. Monica hit, but was further than Brett from center. Mick hit the target closer to center and moved into first place. Brett took his last shot and wasn't able to improve.
Mick wins immunity!
Back at camp the former Galu members conspired to vote Evil Russell again assuming that if he had the idol that they would at least force it out.
Jonathan was getting tired of it and insisted on voting Natalie since Fao Fao wouldn't expect it. "It's pathetic how poor the analytical skills of Galu are." He had a point. If Russell was going to play the idol, you still take out a Fao Fao person when he does it.
Monica thinks that she can use Fao Fao's attempt to flip her into convincing them to vote for John. She was way too eager sounding. I can't believe anyone would have bought her act.
My daughter thought of an idea that I really like. A Jeff Probst action figure. When you pull the string it will say his usual catch phrases like:
Wanna know what you're playing for?
Got nothin' for ya!
Bring me your torch...the tribe has spoken.
I'm going to need another million for next season, Mr. Burnett.
At council Evil Russell opted not to play the idol and they went to a vote. It ended in a tie between Natalie and Laura. They would have to vote again. Evidently, and I didn't know this, if there is a tie all the players draw stones to see who is voted out, not just the two involved in the tie. I wonder if that would include Mick, owner of immunity. Or if Russell would be allowed to play his immunity idol at that time.
The point was moot as Jonathan realized that a one in ten chance at getting knocked out was worse than Laura getting the boot, so he rolled over on her in yet another surprise ending.
Next week we find out that Shambo is wearing a powdered wig and Evil Russell is actually a Nazi!
See you next week on....Survivorfest!
Probst indicated at tribal council that the hidden idol will be put back into camp once again. I think this is the first Survivorfest where we've seen so many points getting lumped into that category, especially for one person.
Evil Russell claimed: "It's like a Picasa [sic]! It might be my best pieces of work I ever done!"
He finished up with "It was almost as great as my kids being born!"
Rarely ever has the word "almost" kept someone in the running for Father of the Year. Whew. I've got money on him there, too. Unfortunately they don't give out immunity idols.
Danger Dave, who provided the best comic relief with his looks of utter shock during the last two blindsides, gave Evil Russell his props.
Laura growled under her breath that they should have known better than to assume that he didn't have another idol. My wife pointed out that Monica did and they poo-pooed her.
Shambo cackled like a deranged hag and chortled that only her and Russ knew about the idol maneuver. I wonder why it was that she wrote down his name anyway...was she hedging her bets that he wouldn't play it or trying to make things look good for her team in case any of them can count.
The next morning, Evil Russell was at it again, doin' what he do.
Shambo sat back and groused about Laura, calling her, among other things, the viper queen. She kind of took a page out of Coach's book, propping up someone so that when they went down she would look like the Dragonslayer. Remember that one? Yeah, good stuff. Hope to see Coach again in the next Favorites season.
Speaking of Coach, he called out the use of the word "ridonkculous" in the CBS blog: http://www.cbs.com/primetime/survivor/community/blogs/blog.php?key=0. I think you know who took his shots at that abomination of the English language, thank you very much. So very last week, Coach, so very last week.
The reward challenge was much like a care flight experience. One player would lie on a board tied with ropes. The other team members pulled the player to and fro to pick up flags and stick them in assigned slots. Reward was a Palm Pre placement commercial. I mean, a picnic, a plane ride and a Palm Pre placement commercial. I suspect if I type "Palm Pre" enough that I will get an ad out of it. Palm Pre Palm Pre Palm Pre...ah, there we go.
Jonathan was placed on the platform for one team and Natalie took the other.
My wife Kathy thought that Natalie would be okay as her silicon implants would likely cushion her from any damage. The wife was on fire this evening, let me tell you.
Whoops. There's one of those implants now! I hope CBS isn't paying for the blur machine by the minute or this little escapade might not be worth the fine they'd get hit for letting it go.
Natalie was quite gifted at this challenge, hanging halfway out of her cradle (and her dress) to reach the flags. Her team was also adept at moving her around and won the challenge handily.
Natalie, Brett, Dave, Laura and Evil Russell were headed for reward. Again, I think the other team suffered from too much Fao Fao.
At reward, the group was given a clue to the idol. "A rolling stone gathers no moss" to which Natalie replied "a rolling stone gathers no what!?!" Indeed. Is there more than a handful of adults on this earth that couldn't complete that sentence?
Back at camp the remaining Fao Fao members tried to flip Monica. She wasn't having any of it and tattled on them to her former Galu pals.
On the return of the rest of the tribe, the hunt was on for the hidden idol. Danger Dave took after Evil Russell, assuming (with good reason) that he was the most likely to find it.
Evil Russell took off on a run and soon lost Danger Dave. I am aware how much this sounds like a bad Saturday morning cartoon. Russell looped around once he had lost Dave and circled back to the spot he wanted to search. Bingo. Evil Russell had found an unprecedented third hidden idol. "This is getting way too easy!"
Evil Russell hid the idol and, for once, managed not to blab to everyone that he had it.
The immunity challenge was a series of tiles that each player got to throw a rock at. If one of the player's tiles was broken, they would receive a spear for a crossbow shot in the next leg of the challenge.
Right now I am calling out that Shambo would miss miserably with her throw.
Yup. There it went. You can ask my wife, I called it.
Laura went first and missed. Shambo laughed and laughed. Um. You missed too, idiot.
Brett broke two of his tiles while Jaison, Mick and Monica each had one of theirs broken.
Brett went first and hit the target. Jaison missed. Monica hit, but was further than Brett from center. Mick hit the target closer to center and moved into first place. Brett took his last shot and wasn't able to improve.
Mick wins immunity!
Back at camp the former Galu members conspired to vote Evil Russell again assuming that if he had the idol that they would at least force it out.
Jonathan was getting tired of it and insisted on voting Natalie since Fao Fao wouldn't expect it. "It's pathetic how poor the analytical skills of Galu are." He had a point. If Russell was going to play the idol, you still take out a Fao Fao person when he does it.
Monica thinks that she can use Fao Fao's attempt to flip her into convincing them to vote for John. She was way too eager sounding. I can't believe anyone would have bought her act.
My daughter thought of an idea that I really like. A Jeff Probst action figure. When you pull the string it will say his usual catch phrases like:
Wanna know what you're playing for?
Got nothin' for ya!
Bring me your torch...the tribe has spoken.
I'm going to need another million for next season, Mr. Burnett.
At council Evil Russell opted not to play the idol and they went to a vote. It ended in a tie between Natalie and Laura. They would have to vote again. Evidently, and I didn't know this, if there is a tie all the players draw stones to see who is voted out, not just the two involved in the tie. I wonder if that would include Mick, owner of immunity. Or if Russell would be allowed to play his immunity idol at that time.
The point was moot as Jonathan realized that a one in ten chance at getting knocked out was worse than Laura getting the boot, so he rolled over on her in yet another surprise ending.
Next week we find out that Shambo is wearing a powdered wig and Evil Russell is actually a Nazi!
See you next week on....Survivorfest!
Friday, November 13, 2009
Survivorfest week 9
Kelly is voted out...whoever she is.
Back at camp, fresh from blindsiding Erik, Evil Russell's spidey sense was going off. He's upset with himself for using his idol needlessly and thinks he may be next on the chopping block.
Early the next morning, Natalie happened upon a helpless rat and decided to beat it to death with a stick. I guess. From the way it looked I'm not she actually killed it herself or if she just bonked it lightly on the head while talking to it. It's possible that the rat took his own life. If you heard her, I think you know what I mean.
She stuffed the corpse in a coconut shell and headed back to camp and proclaimed: "I killed something, y'all!"
I did a quick search on that phrase in Google and it turns out:
1. It's uttered in the beginning or middle of all the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies
2. And in 45% of non-cartoon Disney movies
3. It's the opening phrase of all NRA meetings
Jaison couldn't have been more proud. "She's come a long way." Yeaaahhhh. You'll notice that she didn't ever actually touch the rat. Or skin it. Or cook it. They all did gather around to eat it. The thing was the size of my fist; it couldn't have been very filling.
The reward challenge was fairly complicated. Two groups were chosen at random. Each would have to carry a skewer of black and white colored coconuts to a rack and arrange them to form a four digit number. The team would than have one blindfolded member dial up that same number on a raised pattern wheel using their sense of touch.
Since there was an odd number, Natalie ended up sitting out, but she was able to choose which team she thought would win and would join them on reward if she was right.
One team was comprised completely of Galu members. And Natalie chose the other team (mostly Foa Foa) to win the reward. Anyone else get a sense off where this is going?
Shambo is a useless appendage at most of these challenges. She spent most of her time trying to catch up with Danger Dave, who spent most of his time trying to get around her.
Galu jumped out to a quick advantage and soon had their combination. Monica struggled briefly with the combination, but she completed it. Dave, Shambo, Jonathan, Kellie and Monica went on reward to a natural rock slide and a feast.
Monica: "These donuts are redonculous!" Can I take a moment to mention how much I hate that word? We have eighteen thousand adjectives in the English language and probably a few others in other languages that we can fall back on...why make up and use stupid sounding ones? Ginormous is another one. Urgh. Someday these words will probably be adopted into Webster. I can only hope that I die first.
The group on reward also received a clue as to the whereabouts of another hidden idol. They decided they would only share the clue with other Galu members.
Does Kelly confuse anyone else? When they show her (which is infrequently) I think one of three things:
1. Who the heck is that?
2. Man, Natalie looks different...
3. Boy, that little headband thing looks stupid
Back at camp, Evil Russell considers the possibility that another idol might be hidden at camp. He spent the entire day digging around for it and he found it. Again!
Like him or (more likely) hate him, this guy really knows how to play this game.
A quick aside on Evil Russell: My seven year old sat with me for a few minutes while I was catching up on last week's episode. After a minute and a half she said "I don't like Russell".
I asked why not. She said "I don't like his...face." Yup. When a seven year old with no real life experiences knows that you're up to no good just by glancing at your face, you really think the adults should be catching on as well.
Shambo still seems to trust Evil Russell implicitly. Seven year old doesn't like her, either, but it's because of her ridiculous hair. Just saying. I explained to her that not everyone is lucky enough to have wonderful hair. Ahem.
Evil Russell decided that he would keep the news of this idol all to himself since the last time he told too many people. That little bit of self control lasted about five minutes. He HAD to tell someone how smart and clever he was to find another idol!!!!
So he told Shambo. And then Jaison. Heck, I think he told the rest of the remaining Foa Foa folks. If he had a cell phone he probably would have told his entire extended family.
The immunity challenge was to take a grappling hook and pull in a bag containing pieces to a Perfection-like game board. First three to get both bags of pieces would move on to the board.
Mick and Shambo (who finally found a challenge that she couldn't choke on) got their bags first. Evil Russell and Laura were neck and neck in pulling in their second bags. Right at the end Evil Russell lost his grip on the bag and Laura moved on to the next round.
At the Perfection board, Shambo took a quick lead. Then her capacity for sucking at challenges came out. Remember what I typed just above about finding a challenge she couldn't choke on? Never mind. She is the New York Mets of choking.
Laura got into a rhythm on the board and didn't look back. She won immunity for the second straight time. Only her gal pals seemed even a little happy about it.
Back at camp the former Galu folks got together to figure on who would go next. They decided on Russell. That led to this exchange.
Monica: "What if Russell has another idol?"
Danger Dave: "We can't worry about that!"
You know you're in trouble when Monica is the voice of reason.
Evil Russell happened to be walking by and heard a little of their whispering. He heard Natalie's name and began to wonder if she was next and not him. He began to doubt whether he should play the idol that night or not.
He didn't want to be the "dumbass" who played two idols needlessly. Of course he didn't want to be the "dumbass" who went home with one in his pocket. Right now James is shifting uncomfortably in his chair at home.
At tribal council we got our first look at Erik. Strangely he didn't clean up at all. And he looked to still be wicked pissed.
Probst got the tribe to discuss their thoughts in blindsiding Erik at the last council. Erik was so mad he could barely see straight. It was killing him that he wasn't allowed to talk. Or run over and strangle Dave.
Wouldn't it be a fun twist to allow one jury member back into the game? Think of the havoc!
The votes went in and Evil Russell decided to play the idol again. The looks on the Galu faces was priceless. The reaction seemed like how I pictured this exchange from a few years back:
Secret Service agent: "Mr. President, I'm afraid Jenna was arrested for underage drinking, firing a revolver into a crowded bar and driving a speedboat into a mall. And we think she slept with P Diddy."
George Bush (making the face): "Again!?!"
Since Laura had immunity, the Foa Foa remainders threw their votes on Kellie and, subtracting the votes for Evil Russell, she was out. I can't remember someone getting voted out so late in a game that we knew almost nothing about. Unless Brett gets voted out next week.
Interestingly, Shambo voted for Evil Russell as well. Looks like her ties to Foa Foa might not be that strong after all.
The idol is being sent back to camp and next week we'll have a scavenger hunt to see who can find it!
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Back at camp, fresh from blindsiding Erik, Evil Russell's spidey sense was going off. He's upset with himself for using his idol needlessly and thinks he may be next on the chopping block.
Early the next morning, Natalie happened upon a helpless rat and decided to beat it to death with a stick. I guess. From the way it looked I'm not she actually killed it herself or if she just bonked it lightly on the head while talking to it. It's possible that the rat took his own life. If you heard her, I think you know what I mean.
She stuffed the corpse in a coconut shell and headed back to camp and proclaimed: "I killed something, y'all!"
I did a quick search on that phrase in Google and it turns out:
1. It's uttered in the beginning or middle of all the Texas Chainsaw Massacre movies
2. And in 45% of non-cartoon Disney movies
3. It's the opening phrase of all NRA meetings
Jaison couldn't have been more proud. "She's come a long way." Yeaaahhhh. You'll notice that she didn't ever actually touch the rat. Or skin it. Or cook it. They all did gather around to eat it. The thing was the size of my fist; it couldn't have been very filling.
The reward challenge was fairly complicated. Two groups were chosen at random. Each would have to carry a skewer of black and white colored coconuts to a rack and arrange them to form a four digit number. The team would than have one blindfolded member dial up that same number on a raised pattern wheel using their sense of touch.
Since there was an odd number, Natalie ended up sitting out, but she was able to choose which team she thought would win and would join them on reward if she was right.
One team was comprised completely of Galu members. And Natalie chose the other team (mostly Foa Foa) to win the reward. Anyone else get a sense off where this is going?
Shambo is a useless appendage at most of these challenges. She spent most of her time trying to catch up with Danger Dave, who spent most of his time trying to get around her.
Galu jumped out to a quick advantage and soon had their combination. Monica struggled briefly with the combination, but she completed it. Dave, Shambo, Jonathan, Kellie and Monica went on reward to a natural rock slide and a feast.
Monica: "These donuts are redonculous!" Can I take a moment to mention how much I hate that word? We have eighteen thousand adjectives in the English language and probably a few others in other languages that we can fall back on...why make up and use stupid sounding ones? Ginormous is another one. Urgh. Someday these words will probably be adopted into Webster. I can only hope that I die first.
The group on reward also received a clue as to the whereabouts of another hidden idol. They decided they would only share the clue with other Galu members.
Does Kelly confuse anyone else? When they show her (which is infrequently) I think one of three things:
1. Who the heck is that?
2. Man, Natalie looks different...
3. Boy, that little headband thing looks stupid
Back at camp, Evil Russell considers the possibility that another idol might be hidden at camp. He spent the entire day digging around for it and he found it. Again!
Like him or (more likely) hate him, this guy really knows how to play this game.
A quick aside on Evil Russell: My seven year old sat with me for a few minutes while I was catching up on last week's episode. After a minute and a half she said "I don't like Russell".
I asked why not. She said "I don't like his...face." Yup. When a seven year old with no real life experiences knows that you're up to no good just by glancing at your face, you really think the adults should be catching on as well.
Shambo still seems to trust Evil Russell implicitly. Seven year old doesn't like her, either, but it's because of her ridiculous hair. Just saying. I explained to her that not everyone is lucky enough to have wonderful hair. Ahem.
Evil Russell decided that he would keep the news of this idol all to himself since the last time he told too many people. That little bit of self control lasted about five minutes. He HAD to tell someone how smart and clever he was to find another idol!!!!
So he told Shambo. And then Jaison. Heck, I think he told the rest of the remaining Foa Foa folks. If he had a cell phone he probably would have told his entire extended family.
The immunity challenge was to take a grappling hook and pull in a bag containing pieces to a Perfection-like game board. First three to get both bags of pieces would move on to the board.
Mick and Shambo (who finally found a challenge that she couldn't choke on) got their bags first. Evil Russell and Laura were neck and neck in pulling in their second bags. Right at the end Evil Russell lost his grip on the bag and Laura moved on to the next round.
At the Perfection board, Shambo took a quick lead. Then her capacity for sucking at challenges came out. Remember what I typed just above about finding a challenge she couldn't choke on? Never mind. She is the New York Mets of choking.
Laura got into a rhythm on the board and didn't look back. She won immunity for the second straight time. Only her gal pals seemed even a little happy about it.
Back at camp the former Galu folks got together to figure on who would go next. They decided on Russell. That led to this exchange.
Monica: "What if Russell has another idol?"
Danger Dave: "We can't worry about that!"
You know you're in trouble when Monica is the voice of reason.
Evil Russell happened to be walking by and heard a little of their whispering. He heard Natalie's name and began to wonder if she was next and not him. He began to doubt whether he should play the idol that night or not.
He didn't want to be the "dumbass" who played two idols needlessly. Of course he didn't want to be the "dumbass" who went home with one in his pocket. Right now James is shifting uncomfortably in his chair at home.
At tribal council we got our first look at Erik. Strangely he didn't clean up at all. And he looked to still be wicked pissed.
Probst got the tribe to discuss their thoughts in blindsiding Erik at the last council. Erik was so mad he could barely see straight. It was killing him that he wasn't allowed to talk. Or run over and strangle Dave.
Wouldn't it be a fun twist to allow one jury member back into the game? Think of the havoc!
The votes went in and Evil Russell decided to play the idol again. The looks on the Galu faces was priceless. The reaction seemed like how I pictured this exchange from a few years back:
Secret Service agent: "Mr. President, I'm afraid Jenna was arrested for underage drinking, firing a revolver into a crowded bar and driving a speedboat into a mall. And we think she slept with P Diddy."
George Bush (making the face): "Again!?!"
Since Laura had immunity, the Foa Foa remainders threw their votes on Kellie and, subtracting the votes for Evil Russell, she was out. I can't remember someone getting voted out so late in a game that we knew almost nothing about. Unless Brett gets voted out next week.
Interestingly, Shambo voted for Evil Russell as well. Looks like her ties to Foa Foa might not be that strong after all.
The idol is being sent back to camp and next week we'll have a scavenger hunt to see who can find it!
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Survivorfest week 8!
Erik is blind sided by the hapless Foa Foa members!
Sorry for the delay with the blog. I was off visiting my brother in North Carolina losing little white balls in big pools of water.
Fresh from voting off Liz, Foa Foa re-examined their feebleness. Evil Russell suspected a merger is on the way. He does know this game.
Laura's voice is annoying. Not nough that you immediately hate her, but more like the 'if I have to listen to that shrill little whine for one more day...'
She was whining in rare form since someone (Shambo) forgot to bring her canteen back from the challenge. She and Shambo got into a nice fight over it, which is always fun to watch.
Erik enjoyed the show as well: "We know that Shambo is crazy..everyone knows that. If Laura's fighting with her, then who's really the crazy one?"
The two tribes got their tree mail and met on the beach with no Probst in sight. I think he was accepting the runner up award for the Nobel Peace prize.
The tribes merged! A feast ensued along with lots of girlish squealing. And Erik kept hugging Mick in a way that made me feel very uncomfotable for him.
Danger Dave and Natalie had a nice chat about the relative merits of eating hermit crabs. Dave: "These hermit crabs are great, but after 7-8 days I never want to eat another one". I halfway wonder if there's going to be a sudden and mysterious run on the little guys at the local pet store.
Sorry for the delay with the blog. I was off visiting my brother in North Carolina losing little white balls in big pools of water.
Fresh from voting off Liz, Foa Foa re-examined their feebleness. Evil Russell suspected a merger is on the way. He does know this game.
Laura's voice is annoying. Not nough that you immediately hate her, but more like the 'if I have to listen to that shrill little whine for one more day...'
She was whining in rare form since someone (Shambo) forgot to bring her canteen back from the challenge. She and Shambo got into a nice fight over it, which is always fun to watch.
Erik enjoyed the show as well: "We know that Shambo is crazy..everyone knows that. If Laura's fighting with her, then who's really the crazy one?"
The two tribes got their tree mail and met on the beach with no Probst in sight. I think he was accepting the runner up award for the Nobel Peace prize.
The tribes merged! A feast ensued along with lots of girlish squealing. And Erik kept hugging Mick in a way that made me feel very uncomfotable for him.
Danger Dave and Natalie had a nice chat about the relative merits of eating hermit crabs. Dave: "These hermit crabs are great, but after 7-8 days I never want to eat another one". I halfway wonder if there's going to be a sudden and mysterious run on the little guys at the local pet store.
The new tribe names Aiga. I think it's Samoan for "agony of defeat".
Evil Russell started in on Laura. He showed her his idol and tried to take charge. "If you get me to the top seven I'll give you the idol!" He then tried to dictate how the votes should go next. Laura wasn't having anything to do with it and pretty much told Evil Russell that he was her bitch.
Predictably Evil Russell didn't appreciate this and went off with just about everyone else and tried the same routine. Laura was now on his list.
Evil Russell compared himself to Babe Ruth in that he struck out more than anyone but also had lots of home runs. Not true. Babe wasn't anywhere near the top ten in strikeouts.
His plan worked with Shambo. She now trusts him "implicitly".
The immunity challenge was a game of Survivor T-ball. Immunity would be won by one man and one woman.
Each player attempted to hit a ball into a zone set up with different points. There wasn't much baseball skill involved...if anyone hit the ball too hard the ball would fly out of the zone and they'd receive no points.
Probst asked Danger Dave is baseball was his sport: "Making love is my sport!" I wonder how one would go about getting a scholarship...
Jonathan won immunity for the men and Laura won for the women. Another Galu victory and points for people who had them!
Back at camp Erik wanted to flush the idol out from under Russell. He knew he had it because Laura ratted him out.
Erik dressed down the remaining Foa Foa tribe members and essentially told them that they were done and might as well vote as they're told and maybe they could spend a couple of more miserable days in Samoa. I think that was foolish as it left them little choice but to combine their votes.
Several of the Galu folks seemed to think the same way. Jonathan told Shambo that Erik was on the outs and she honestly said "Who's Erik?" Yup. Quite the leader, that one.
At council Erik reiterated his belief that Galu members were inferior and the Foa Foa dregs would find a way to lose.
The joke was on him as all the rest of the players with the exception of Shambo, who is eternally clueless, voted him out.
Evil Russell opted to play his idol since everyone knew he had it anyway and he wasn't sure how the vote was going to go. No one wrote down his name, but at least he played the stupid thing!
Erik went out and took his hidden idol with him like so many before him. He represents our first jury member and extra points will be awarded.
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Survivorfest week 7
Out of respect for Russell, there was no one voted off the previous week.
Back at camp Galu, the guys wanted to re-establish control over the tribe, now that there was an equal mix of guys and gals. Their thought was to foster a relationship with Shambo to vote off one of the girls.
Erik: "Even though she's a chick she doesn't fit in with the other girls." Later they figured the could "burn her".
Further, the guys determined that if they made Shambo the leader she would feel important and indebted.
The Galu tribe gathered around and quickly voted. Shambo was the new chief. The other women in the tribe were not happy.
Monica: "The way we voted was so stupid!" I guess she would have appreciated it more if they had used the electoral college system rather than a popular vote.
Shambo decided it was a good time to give a short victory speech. She was wrong.
At Foa Foa, the lack of a vote and seeing Russell leave early inspired them to a foolish sense of optimism.
Anyone else think that Jaison is starting to walk like an old man?
The reward challenge was a memory game where a series of small huts had various camp items that, when matched, would give the team a point. If the team opted to keep one of the matched items, they would forfeit the point.
Reward was lunch on a sail boat and one member of the winning tribe would spend time with the other tribe.
Probst noted that Shambo now wore the chief necklace. He asked her if she was surprised to have been selected.
Shambo: "Not so much." Modesty is over-rated in a leader anyway.
For her first executive decision Shambo made three curious decisions:
1. she sat herself out
2. she sat Danger Dave out
3. When she had to choose a chief to act in her place, she chose Erik only to have Dave quickly overrule her with a "No!! Brett! Brett!" Shambo: "I stand corrected"
I could see holding herself and Dave out so that they could perform better on the immunity challenge, assuming she was thinking that far ahead, but would a real Marine sergeant be happy to have one of her first decisions countermanded like that? In the Marines I think Dave would be getting treated to a couple of miles in full gear and a dinner that tasted like ass.
Laura found the first match and Brett elected to keep the firestarting material and forego the points.
Galu then went off to lead and never look back.
Shambo decided to send Laura to the other tribe and miss the boat lunch. Laura was not happy to go and I noticed that Dave didn't tell her to change her mind. Shambo's reasoning for sending her was that she wanted to keep her guys strong for the challenge and she'd already been there herself a couple of time.
Laura made fast friends with Foa Foa. They might be losers, but they're hospitable.
Evil Russell took her aside on a crab hunting trip. He claimed to be a father of twins and the son of a preacher. I wonder if any of that is remotely true.
Turns out Laura's father is a pastor. She wouldn't follow him into that job because she didn't believe that a woman's place was leading a congregation. CBS operators are standing by for your calls!
Evil Russell and Laura struck up an alliance. Evil Russell promised that she'd reach the final three with him and Natalie. Liz responded with "you're my brother of another mother!" I bet that made her pastor father feel really great.
As they were walking back to camp Evil Russell told her not to worry about the hidden idol clue because Ben had found it and left it hidden when he was voted off. Man, this guy is good!
On the sail boat the group enjoyed a sumptuous lunch of limes and gruel and then were asked to help work the riggings.
Anyone else think that Erik, with his buff covering most of his face, looked like Mort from the Bazooka Joe comics? Okay, that was a little obscure.
Danger Dave grabbed the wheel and yelled: "I feel like a pirate ready to rob some booty! A little wenching...a little grogging...a little more wenching..." I think Danger Dave is just about ready for his own late night talk show.
Back at camp Foa Foa Laura and Natalie are getting chummy. Laura shared how she and her husband liked to ride Harleys. She wanted to make sure that everyone understood that they weren't "badasses" or anything. Whew.
In the meantime Liz was getting a little ticked off that they were having a coffee klatch while she was trying to start a fire to make food and potable water.
Brett looks like he's about twelve years old.
The immunity challenge required the players to paddle a skiff out to an area where some fish-shaped puzzle pieces were attached to buoys in the water. They would have to fish out the buoys, bring the skiff back to shore and complete a puzzle.
Before they started, Probst noted that Mick wasn't wearing his chief necklace and asked why. Mick indicated that the tribe was starting to suspect that it was bad luck and decided to leave it back at camp. Yeah, I'm sure it was bad luck and not sucking at challenges that did it.
I was hoping that Probst was going to make him go and get it.
The paddling and fishing sequence was pretty lame. The only thing of interest was Danger Dave getting tired of hearing all of Shambo's "leadership". Evidently she equates leading with being loud.
At one point he said: "Shambo, if you'd be quiet that'd be great." Truthfully, when one is fishing, there's nothing worse than someone yelling "go, Dave, go!! Fish that thing out!!"
By the time they got the skiffs back to shore Jaison was more spent than a teenager's credit card limit. I think there were four forks sticking out of him. Further, it looked like he had been eating sand.
The fish puzzle seemed tougher than many of the previous ones and Foa Foa struggled. Jaison kept trying to think out loud and Liz kept shushing him.
In the end, Galu overtook them and won immunity. So much for the bad luck necklace. I was proud to see that Probst mentioned that as well.
Back at camp Foa Foa Evil Russell was starting to wonder if keeping Jaison around was a good idea. He didn't like that he quit on the challenge. I thought at this point that he would stick with his plan to get rid of Liz because Jaison, while having the potential of being a threat physically, has been a terrible player.
My reasons:
1. He hasn't won much of anything, so he's no Ozzie or James type of threat
2. He's way too honest...he couldn't even stand to be around Ben when voting him off clearly was not their best plan.
3. When he was alone with Liz at camp he spent all of his time moaning about how much he sucked at the challenge and how embarrassed he was. After a poor performance like that you should be strategizing and trying to work the angles, not crying about how bad you've done.
CBS made a big show of making it look like the rest of the tribe wanted to oust Jaison and keep Liz, but since that's all the footage they showed it seemed clear that it was an obvious red herring.
At council Probst was tough on them "There's no sense rehashing your failures...You're one of the worst tribes in Survivor history!"
Actually, I'd like to dispute that. They actually won a reward challenge, they were ahead in several challenges and competed in virtually all of them. I can remember a few seasons where teams practically lost within the first minute of every challenge.
I think Evil Russell is looking less and less crazy the past couple of weeks. I wonder why that is.
Jaison took a lot of the blame for the losses on himself at tribal council. Another reason why I don't think he'll last too long. Too easy to remove and too sympathetic for people to want him to stick around to the final four.
Indeed, Liz was voted out.
Her family moment was odd. Only one person was on the video, not sure if he was a husband, fiancee or brother. He said "We're proud of you win or lose...but if you win, half sounds about right!"
Maybe it was her lawyer.
Tribes merge next week on...Survivorfest!
Back at camp Galu, the guys wanted to re-establish control over the tribe, now that there was an equal mix of guys and gals. Their thought was to foster a relationship with Shambo to vote off one of the girls.
Erik: "Even though she's a chick she doesn't fit in with the other girls." Later they figured the could "burn her".
Further, the guys determined that if they made Shambo the leader she would feel important and indebted.
The Galu tribe gathered around and quickly voted. Shambo was the new chief. The other women in the tribe were not happy.
Monica: "The way we voted was so stupid!" I guess she would have appreciated it more if they had used the electoral college system rather than a popular vote.
Shambo decided it was a good time to give a short victory speech. She was wrong.
At Foa Foa, the lack of a vote and seeing Russell leave early inspired them to a foolish sense of optimism.
Anyone else think that Jaison is starting to walk like an old man?
The reward challenge was a memory game where a series of small huts had various camp items that, when matched, would give the team a point. If the team opted to keep one of the matched items, they would forfeit the point.
Reward was lunch on a sail boat and one member of the winning tribe would spend time with the other tribe.
Probst noted that Shambo now wore the chief necklace. He asked her if she was surprised to have been selected.
Shambo: "Not so much." Modesty is over-rated in a leader anyway.
For her first executive decision Shambo made three curious decisions:
1. she sat herself out
2. she sat Danger Dave out
3. When she had to choose a chief to act in her place, she chose Erik only to have Dave quickly overrule her with a "No!! Brett! Brett!" Shambo: "I stand corrected"
I could see holding herself and Dave out so that they could perform better on the immunity challenge, assuming she was thinking that far ahead, but would a real Marine sergeant be happy to have one of her first decisions countermanded like that? In the Marines I think Dave would be getting treated to a couple of miles in full gear and a dinner that tasted like ass.
Laura found the first match and Brett elected to keep the firestarting material and forego the points.
Galu then went off to lead and never look back.
Shambo decided to send Laura to the other tribe and miss the boat lunch. Laura was not happy to go and I noticed that Dave didn't tell her to change her mind. Shambo's reasoning for sending her was that she wanted to keep her guys strong for the challenge and she'd already been there herself a couple of time.
Laura made fast friends with Foa Foa. They might be losers, but they're hospitable.
Evil Russell took her aside on a crab hunting trip. He claimed to be a father of twins and the son of a preacher. I wonder if any of that is remotely true.
Turns out Laura's father is a pastor. She wouldn't follow him into that job because she didn't believe that a woman's place was leading a congregation. CBS operators are standing by for your calls!
Evil Russell and Laura struck up an alliance. Evil Russell promised that she'd reach the final three with him and Natalie. Liz responded with "you're my brother of another mother!" I bet that made her pastor father feel really great.
As they were walking back to camp Evil Russell told her not to worry about the hidden idol clue because Ben had found it and left it hidden when he was voted off. Man, this guy is good!
On the sail boat the group enjoyed a sumptuous lunch of limes and gruel and then were asked to help work the riggings.
Anyone else think that Erik, with his buff covering most of his face, looked like Mort from the Bazooka Joe comics? Okay, that was a little obscure.
Danger Dave grabbed the wheel and yelled: "I feel like a pirate ready to rob some booty! A little wenching...a little grogging...a little more wenching..." I think Danger Dave is just about ready for his own late night talk show.
Back at camp Foa Foa Laura and Natalie are getting chummy. Laura shared how she and her husband liked to ride Harleys. She wanted to make sure that everyone understood that they weren't "badasses" or anything. Whew.
In the meantime Liz was getting a little ticked off that they were having a coffee klatch while she was trying to start a fire to make food and potable water.
Brett looks like he's about twelve years old.
The immunity challenge required the players to paddle a skiff out to an area where some fish-shaped puzzle pieces were attached to buoys in the water. They would have to fish out the buoys, bring the skiff back to shore and complete a puzzle.
Before they started, Probst noted that Mick wasn't wearing his chief necklace and asked why. Mick indicated that the tribe was starting to suspect that it was bad luck and decided to leave it back at camp. Yeah, I'm sure it was bad luck and not sucking at challenges that did it.
I was hoping that Probst was going to make him go and get it.
The paddling and fishing sequence was pretty lame. The only thing of interest was Danger Dave getting tired of hearing all of Shambo's "leadership". Evidently she equates leading with being loud.
At one point he said: "Shambo, if you'd be quiet that'd be great." Truthfully, when one is fishing, there's nothing worse than someone yelling "go, Dave, go!! Fish that thing out!!"
By the time they got the skiffs back to shore Jaison was more spent than a teenager's credit card limit. I think there were four forks sticking out of him. Further, it looked like he had been eating sand.
The fish puzzle seemed tougher than many of the previous ones and Foa Foa struggled. Jaison kept trying to think out loud and Liz kept shushing him.
In the end, Galu overtook them and won immunity. So much for the bad luck necklace. I was proud to see that Probst mentioned that as well.
Back at camp Foa Foa Evil Russell was starting to wonder if keeping Jaison around was a good idea. He didn't like that he quit on the challenge. I thought at this point that he would stick with his plan to get rid of Liz because Jaison, while having the potential of being a threat physically, has been a terrible player.
My reasons:
1. He hasn't won much of anything, so he's no Ozzie or James type of threat
2. He's way too honest...he couldn't even stand to be around Ben when voting him off clearly was not their best plan.
3. When he was alone with Liz at camp he spent all of his time moaning about how much he sucked at the challenge and how embarrassed he was. After a poor performance like that you should be strategizing and trying to work the angles, not crying about how bad you've done.
CBS made a big show of making it look like the rest of the tribe wanted to oust Jaison and keep Liz, but since that's all the footage they showed it seemed clear that it was an obvious red herring.
At council Probst was tough on them "There's no sense rehashing your failures...You're one of the worst tribes in Survivor history!"
Actually, I'd like to dispute that. They actually won a reward challenge, they were ahead in several challenges and competed in virtually all of them. I can remember a few seasons where teams practically lost within the first minute of every challenge.
I think Evil Russell is looking less and less crazy the past couple of weeks. I wonder why that is.
Jaison took a lot of the blame for the losses on himself at tribal council. Another reason why I don't think he'll last too long. Too easy to remove and too sympathetic for people to want him to stick around to the final four.
Indeed, Liz was voted out.
Her family moment was odd. Only one person was on the video, not sure if he was a husband, fiancee or brother. He said "We're proud of you win or lose...but if you win, half sounds about right!"
Maybe it was her lawyer.
Tribes merge next week on...Survivorfest!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Survivorfest - week 6!
Russell S passes out of the game!
Just after voting yet another tribe member off, Foa Foa returned to a cold and wet camp. The non-stop rain and lack of shelter had obviously begun to take a significant toll on our remaining castaways. The only person who seemed comfortable was Evil Russell.
I'm not clear if it was the old adage that misery loves company or if it was that significant layer of belly fat that was keeping him warm and happy. I could go either way.
Evil Russell chimed in with a nice Survivor Hall of Fame Quote: "If you don't throw up after every challenge you're not doing your job!" I'm going to try that at work. New software release successfully deployed? Check. Applications up and running? Check. Mass amounts of vomit? Check. Who's got clean up duties this week?
Jaison was definitely not coping well. It may have had something to do with the way his hands and feet looked like they were going to fall off. At one point Evil Russell brought him to the water to warm up and he just started laughing hysterically. I'm starting to wonder if he's going to be able to stick things out if the Foa Foa fortunes don't change soon.
Mick wedged himself into the crook of a tree to keep himself warmish and somewhat dry. He also appeared close to the breaking point.
I think it would be interesting to have Probst come to camp bearing a warm robe, slippers and a small tarp and see if anyone wanted to drop out. No? Maybe you'd like to drop out if I offered up some...hamburgers and beer! A massage with chocolate chip cookies?
Back at camp Galu, the tribe continued to lament Russell S's earlier decision to eschew tarps for blankets and pillows. Russell seemed intent on making up for it by working hard at keeping a fire going through the consistent rains.
He kept alluding to being cold, yet he spent most of his time without a shirt. Put on a damned shirt if you're cold! Even if it's wet it should provide some amount of insulating layer. Or throw on some palm leaves or something.
The rain ended and spirits started to rise. IQs stayed in the basement, however. Russell S: "Loooook! There's blue sky out there! And rainbows". That should have been the first sign that something wasn’t quite right with ol’ Russell.
The reward for today's challenge? Piping hot pizza! The rewards challenge was to strap one tribe member into a sphere and have two blind-folded members push him/her around a path to a tabletop maze where the person in the sphere would guide the blind-folded members into...ah, nevermind. It never got that far.
Foa Foa took a modest lead with the ball rolling when Galu got caught up against a tree. When Galu made it to the tabletop maze, Russell S. had started to show signs of exhaustion. With some coaxing he made it to the table where he promptly passed out.
He lay slumped over his corner for quite some time before people started wondering what he was doing. The blindfold didn't help, since you couldn't see any of his face.
Probst called a halt to the game and brought in the medical staff.
To say Russell was out of it would be like saying Kanye West was out of the running for president of the Taylor Swift fan club. He lay down with his eyes rolled back.
Eventually he started speaking, but he clearly wasn't rowing with all oars. I'm pretty sure he said something like this in a very small voice: "I had a dream about a wicked man who took all my clothes and made me hungry...and you were there...and you were there..."
Probst called off the challenge. There would be no piping hot pizza for the winning tribe. The cameramen rejoiced! The pizza would not go to waste. Both tribes, however, would have a date at tribal council that night to vote someone off.
After a while he started to become a little more lucid...until they tried to get him to sit up again. He promptly went la-la again, becoming completely unresponsive.
The medical tech said "his blood pressure is even lower than Mike's was". Well, Russ, at least you won at something.
Probst tried to explain to Russ that he was finished with the game and would be sent home. Russell tried to argue, but it just became pitiful. "You don't want it to end this way, do you?" I'm not sure if he was talking to Probst or himself at that point.
They removed the fork from him, pulled him onto a stretcher and took him away.
People who had Russell S. earned five points for his exciting, albeit early, exit.
Back at Foa Foa, the tribe was concerned about Russell but also upset that the challenge was cancelled. Since they had a lead at that point they were sure that the pizza was all theirs. I wonder if they remember any of the other challenges where they started out with a lead and then choked on it like Ashley on a sea-slug smoothie...
Liz and Natalie could read the writing on the wall. One of them was going home that night and both of them planned to pack their things for tribal council.
Evil Russell took Nat aside and told her to stay focused and that he was doing his best to swing things so that she stayed and Liz went home. Like him or hate him, he's doing a great job at this game. By doing virtually nothing, he's currying favor with another tribe mate and making it look like a lot of work.
Back at Galu, Shambo tracked down the other three girls of the tribe. They had been deciding to vote her off next. Shambo asked what their thoughts were about the vote that night.
The response: "Um....we're not really sure yet." Those of you familiar with my blog will remember this as the #1 sign that your head is next on the chopping block. Right there along with "Gee, we have a tribal council tonight?" and "make sure to say 'hi' to Fred for me back at the resort...ah, I mean, if you happen to get voted off tonight."
Shambo was on to it, but then fell into the "after all I've done for you" routine where she ticks off how many fires she's made and how much food and firewood she's gathered. At this point, if they're willing to oust you, you're well past the point of talking them out of it based on your merits. If you can't appeal to their sense of self-preservation, you don't have a shot.
The rest of the Galu gang, the guys, had decided on their own that Monica needed to go. They needed just one more vote to get it through and Shambo was more than willing to go along with it.
Just another reason why you should never be upfront with someone that you're about to vote off. It leaves them no option but to find someone else who'd like to screw you. Had the other Galu gals tried to convince her that they were going after someone else, she might have stuck with them.
The guys didn't want to lose the secret by bringing in Shambo, but they had to make sure that they had her vote. This is, after all, the person who blabbed the entire contents of the hidden idol clue to everyone at camp. They had the most transparent hypothetical conversation about it:
Erik: "Shambo, if I were you I think you should vote for the same person you voted for last time."
Shambo: "If you were Erik, which person would you be voting for?"
Erik (who, ironically, is Erik): "Um...maybe the same person you voted for last time."
Shambo: "What about you, Jon...if you were Jon, who would you vote for?"
Jon (also Jon): "Um...maybe I might...look, vote Monica, okay, you idiot!"
Of their concern about the news leaking to the other girls: "Shambo, this needs to be kept between us, so you gotta lock it up, all right?"
Shambo: "No worries!" and offered a fist bump to her new partner in the sight of God and everyone.
Erik: "Pounding fists is not 'locking it up'!"
At tribal council, both teams were there. Quite a crowd. I think most were really happy to have shelter and a warm fire. CBS must let them clean up for council, because none of them looked drenched or especially muddy.
Probst gave an update on poor Russell. He was not coming back. He described the incident as "the single scariest moment I've ever had on the show." Survivorfest player Kate would like to ask if anyone else thought that he looked particularly gleeful about this turn of events. He can hear those Nielsen ratings jingle (or whatever it is that Nielsen ratings do).
Erik was asked about his time on the show. He started babbling about how he spent a lot of time praying to God, Samoa or to the island. I think he got confused and thought he was John Locke on Lost.
Probst then asked Danger Dave about his experiences so far. Dave confided that Survivor was the hardest thing he'd ever done...and he'd a lot of hard things. I swear that if they had given him a moment or Probst had bothered to ask that we would have gotten a Coach story about how he was captured in the Amazon by pygmies or something.
Alas, Jeff moved on to the business at hand. In light of the injury and subsequent removal of Russell from the game, there would be no double-elimination this week!
See you next week for more action on...Survivorfest!
Just after voting yet another tribe member off, Foa Foa returned to a cold and wet camp. The non-stop rain and lack of shelter had obviously begun to take a significant toll on our remaining castaways. The only person who seemed comfortable was Evil Russell.
I'm not clear if it was the old adage that misery loves company or if it was that significant layer of belly fat that was keeping him warm and happy. I could go either way.
Evil Russell chimed in with a nice Survivor Hall of Fame Quote: "If you don't throw up after every challenge you're not doing your job!" I'm going to try that at work. New software release successfully deployed? Check. Applications up and running? Check. Mass amounts of vomit? Check. Who's got clean up duties this week?
Jaison was definitely not coping well. It may have had something to do with the way his hands and feet looked like they were going to fall off. At one point Evil Russell brought him to the water to warm up and he just started laughing hysterically. I'm starting to wonder if he's going to be able to stick things out if the Foa Foa fortunes don't change soon.
Mick wedged himself into the crook of a tree to keep himself warmish and somewhat dry. He also appeared close to the breaking point.
I think it would be interesting to have Probst come to camp bearing a warm robe, slippers and a small tarp and see if anyone wanted to drop out. No? Maybe you'd like to drop out if I offered up some...hamburgers and beer! A massage with chocolate chip cookies?
Back at camp Galu, the tribe continued to lament Russell S's earlier decision to eschew tarps for blankets and pillows. Russell seemed intent on making up for it by working hard at keeping a fire going through the consistent rains.
He kept alluding to being cold, yet he spent most of his time without a shirt. Put on a damned shirt if you're cold! Even if it's wet it should provide some amount of insulating layer. Or throw on some palm leaves or something.
The rain ended and spirits started to rise. IQs stayed in the basement, however. Russell S: "Loooook! There's blue sky out there! And rainbows". That should have been the first sign that something wasn’t quite right with ol’ Russell.
The reward for today's challenge? Piping hot pizza! The rewards challenge was to strap one tribe member into a sphere and have two blind-folded members push him/her around a path to a tabletop maze where the person in the sphere would guide the blind-folded members into...ah, nevermind. It never got that far.
Foa Foa took a modest lead with the ball rolling when Galu got caught up against a tree. When Galu made it to the tabletop maze, Russell S. had started to show signs of exhaustion. With some coaxing he made it to the table where he promptly passed out.
He lay slumped over his corner for quite some time before people started wondering what he was doing. The blindfold didn't help, since you couldn't see any of his face.
Probst called a halt to the game and brought in the medical staff.
To say Russell was out of it would be like saying Kanye West was out of the running for president of the Taylor Swift fan club. He lay down with his eyes rolled back.
Eventually he started speaking, but he clearly wasn't rowing with all oars. I'm pretty sure he said something like this in a very small voice: "I had a dream about a wicked man who took all my clothes and made me hungry...and you were there...and you were there..."
Probst called off the challenge. There would be no piping hot pizza for the winning tribe. The cameramen rejoiced! The pizza would not go to waste. Both tribes, however, would have a date at tribal council that night to vote someone off.
After a while he started to become a little more lucid...until they tried to get him to sit up again. He promptly went la-la again, becoming completely unresponsive.
The medical tech said "his blood pressure is even lower than Mike's was". Well, Russ, at least you won at something.
Probst tried to explain to Russ that he was finished with the game and would be sent home. Russell tried to argue, but it just became pitiful. "You don't want it to end this way, do you?" I'm not sure if he was talking to Probst or himself at that point.
They removed the fork from him, pulled him onto a stretcher and took him away.
People who had Russell S. earned five points for his exciting, albeit early, exit.
Back at Foa Foa, the tribe was concerned about Russell but also upset that the challenge was cancelled. Since they had a lead at that point they were sure that the pizza was all theirs. I wonder if they remember any of the other challenges where they started out with a lead and then choked on it like Ashley on a sea-slug smoothie...
Liz and Natalie could read the writing on the wall. One of them was going home that night and both of them planned to pack their things for tribal council.
Evil Russell took Nat aside and told her to stay focused and that he was doing his best to swing things so that she stayed and Liz went home. Like him or hate him, he's doing a great job at this game. By doing virtually nothing, he's currying favor with another tribe mate and making it look like a lot of work.
Back at Galu, Shambo tracked down the other three girls of the tribe. They had been deciding to vote her off next. Shambo asked what their thoughts were about the vote that night.
The response: "Um....we're not really sure yet." Those of you familiar with my blog will remember this as the #1 sign that your head is next on the chopping block. Right there along with "Gee, we have a tribal council tonight?" and "make sure to say 'hi' to Fred for me back at the resort...ah, I mean, if you happen to get voted off tonight."
Shambo was on to it, but then fell into the "after all I've done for you" routine where she ticks off how many fires she's made and how much food and firewood she's gathered. At this point, if they're willing to oust you, you're well past the point of talking them out of it based on your merits. If you can't appeal to their sense of self-preservation, you don't have a shot.
The rest of the Galu gang, the guys, had decided on their own that Monica needed to go. They needed just one more vote to get it through and Shambo was more than willing to go along with it.
Just another reason why you should never be upfront with someone that you're about to vote off. It leaves them no option but to find someone else who'd like to screw you. Had the other Galu gals tried to convince her that they were going after someone else, she might have stuck with them.
The guys didn't want to lose the secret by bringing in Shambo, but they had to make sure that they had her vote. This is, after all, the person who blabbed the entire contents of the hidden idol clue to everyone at camp. They had the most transparent hypothetical conversation about it:
Erik: "Shambo, if I were you I think you should vote for the same person you voted for last time."
Shambo: "If you were Erik, which person would you be voting for?"
Erik (who, ironically, is Erik): "Um...maybe the same person you voted for last time."
Shambo: "What about you, Jon...if you were Jon, who would you vote for?"
Jon (also Jon): "Um...maybe I might...look, vote Monica, okay, you idiot!"
Of their concern about the news leaking to the other girls: "Shambo, this needs to be kept between us, so you gotta lock it up, all right?"
Shambo: "No worries!" and offered a fist bump to her new partner in the sight of God and everyone.
Erik: "Pounding fists is not 'locking it up'!"
At tribal council, both teams were there. Quite a crowd. I think most were really happy to have shelter and a warm fire. CBS must let them clean up for council, because none of them looked drenched or especially muddy.
Probst gave an update on poor Russell. He was not coming back. He described the incident as "the single scariest moment I've ever had on the show." Survivorfest player Kate would like to ask if anyone else thought that he looked particularly gleeful about this turn of events. He can hear those Nielsen ratings jingle (or whatever it is that Nielsen ratings do).
Erik was asked about his time on the show. He started babbling about how he spent a lot of time praying to God, Samoa or to the island. I think he got confused and thought he was John Locke on Lost.
Probst then asked Danger Dave about his experiences so far. Dave confided that Survivor was the hardest thing he'd ever done...and he'd a lot of hard things. I swear that if they had given him a moment or Probst had bothered to ask that we would have gotten a Coach story about how he was captured in the Amazon by pygmies or something.
Alas, Jeff moved on to the business at hand. In light of the injury and subsequent removal of Russell from the game, there would be no double-elimination this week!
See you next week for more action on...Survivorfest!
Friday, October 16, 2009
Survivorfest - week 5!
Ashley and her nose piercing get the boot!
At the previous tribal council, no one bothered to tell Shambo the plan and she was one of the odd men out in casting a vote for Monica. Monica knows and has her "in her sites".
Erik is angry at the ocean...I guess because it gets him wet and stuff.
Tree mail for the tribes indicated an upcoming food challenge.
Liz: "It'll maybe like be stuff from the ocean!" She went on to start guessing as to who would struggle with the challenge. "Who do you think is the pickiest eater here?" Not Evil Russell, clearly. She decided that Ashley would have the toughest time.
Anyone else notice Evil Russell's weird beard spots? He has three bald spots on the neck portion of his beard...they're like bowling ball holes.
At the reward challenge, the nasty food awaited...and it seemed covered with flies. Nice touch. I wonder how much research CBS does on the digestive damage that things like sea slug intestines can do. Can you have an allergic reaction? How in the world would you know?
Survivor medical clearance form:
Please list any food allergies that may apply:
__ bird embryos
__ sea slug intestines
__ monkey urine
__ swine semen
The winner of the challenge stood to gain a barbeque feast! I can't help but wonder how long that uncooked meat sat out before, during and after the challenge. Mmmmmmm, triganosis!
The first pair was Shambo and Jaison. Shambo quaffed hers down like a true soldier. Jaison had a little case of the yacks, but managed to put it down.
The two Russells went at it next. Russell H finished his first, with Evil Russell taking a little more time.
Brett and Mick went next. Mick popped his down. Brett looked like he was getting a case of the gooks, but finished it off with style, licking the inside of his glass.
Monica and Liz slurped theirs down. I think that clip would make it into the Survivor fetish hall of fame. You know there are some oddballs out there that loooooove this stuff.
Ashley and Danger Dave went next. Dave polished his off, adding some extra sound effects, I assume for Ashley's benefit. Ashley got most of the way through her glass and then was down to the chunky bits at the bottom. She looked like she was trying to choke herself. She couldn't finish, costing Foa Foa a chance at a picnic.
You know her tribe had to be peeved after putting down all of that mess only to have her fail at a challenge that didn't have a time limit. You'd think she could've gotten it down eventually, wouldn't you?
As the winning tribe, Galu had to send a member to Foa Foa for the day and skip the BBQ. Russell decided to send Shambo. She was not pleased.
"I need my protein!" I'm pretty sure those seas slug intestines had plenty of that!
Russell muttered that she needed to pay for losing a chicken, and that was the price.
Back at Foa Foa, Shambo got some sympathy from her new pals and called for a group hug. Which she got. Even Evil Russell did it. Although in retrospect I think he may have been copping a feel.
Natalie gave Ashley a lot of sympathy. She was pretty nice considering her poor effort. Everyone else didn't seem as forgiving.
Back at Galu, the tribe couldn't seem to get the fire started to begin grilling their reward.
Dave got irritable and started sniping with Russell about it. He didn't want to help unless Russell "asked" him to. Eventually he realized he was causing a scene and apologized and began helping with the fire. A few minutes later, it was blazing.
Dave: "Evidently I'm the only one here who can make fire. I'm trying to downplay my awesomeness." I do that a lot, too. It's hard having awesomeness.
Back at Foa Foa, Shambo continued her blabbery ways and read off the hidden idol clues to the entire camp.
They found the right tree, but it was empty due to Evil Russell's early detective work. Most of the tribe suspected that Ben had found it and had taken it with him when he was voted off.
Liz suspected that Evil Russell had it and even told him so.
As true liars often do, Evil Russell was furious that someone would accuse him of...well, lying. He warned Liz that she was getting on his bad side. "Do you wanna go next?"
The weather began to turn really nasty. Galu finally began to regret their earlier challenge decision about taking blankets and pillow in favor of tent and tarp supplies. How's your Hello Kitty comforter working out for you now?
I can't decide if Danger Dave is starting to look like Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull or a cast reject from Deliverance.
The previous night was cold and very wet. Everyone looked particularly miserable as they lined up for the challenge.
This one was well selected. Nothing better than a strength/endurance challenge after a hard night of cold, rainy weather!
The challenge was for four individuals (two from each tribe) to hold a rope tied to a basket that four other tribe members would toss coconuts at. Each coconut would add weight to the basket until only one tribe remained.
Evil Russell and Liz held ropes for Foa Foa while Russell and someone else held for Galu.
Galu took an early lead on getting the coconuts in the baskets. Jonathan was hitting them like crazy. Jaison started shooting like a point guard, without much success. After a while everyone realized that the two hand toss worked better and the baskets started to fill.
The steady rain turned into a downpour.
Evil Russell dropped out first. He made a good effort, but the other tribe had dropped in too many coconuts. Liz held out longer, but eventually she caved as well.
Of note, Ashley was completely useless.
Back at camp, Foa Foa was stuck under their shelter in the torrential rains. There was no opportunity to talk strategy or weasel around. They decided to make their own decisions for who would be voted off at council that evening.
Jaison was miserable. The dude looked like a leper. Hands and feet all bleached and pruney. His extremeties looked a bit like Carol Channing's. Seems like everyone had similar problems judging by the way they held their hands out like they wanted nothing more but for them to dry out.
At camp, everyone seemed to be happy to be under shelter and by a warm fire. Possibly one of the few times when being at council provided a small advantage. At least they got to dry out.
Probst didn't have a lot to work with at council which confirms my suspicions that he watches the camp interviews before council to try to rile things up. He mostly asked about who trusted whom. Turns out everyone trusts everyone. How unfortunate.
The vote was a landslide, with Ashley getting eliminated. I noted that even her bestest pal, Natalie, wrote down her name. I guess when it's time to go, everyone knows it.
Odd Sears-sponsored "family moment" for Ashley. Her parents and their pair of lapdogs. Not sure what that was about. "We're proud of you, Ash! And so are Sweetums and Snookies!"
Next week, another challenge and another medical event! Who could it be!?!
Find out next week on...Survivorfest!
At the previous tribal council, no one bothered to tell Shambo the plan and she was one of the odd men out in casting a vote for Monica. Monica knows and has her "in her sites".
Erik is angry at the ocean...I guess because it gets him wet and stuff.
Tree mail for the tribes indicated an upcoming food challenge.
Liz: "It'll maybe like be stuff from the ocean!" She went on to start guessing as to who would struggle with the challenge. "Who do you think is the pickiest eater here?" Not Evil Russell, clearly. She decided that Ashley would have the toughest time.
Anyone else notice Evil Russell's weird beard spots? He has three bald spots on the neck portion of his beard...they're like bowling ball holes.
At the reward challenge, the nasty food awaited...and it seemed covered with flies. Nice touch. I wonder how much research CBS does on the digestive damage that things like sea slug intestines can do. Can you have an allergic reaction? How in the world would you know?
Survivor medical clearance form:
Please list any food allergies that may apply:
__ bird embryos
__ sea slug intestines
__ monkey urine
__ swine semen
The winner of the challenge stood to gain a barbeque feast! I can't help but wonder how long that uncooked meat sat out before, during and after the challenge. Mmmmmmm, triganosis!
The first pair was Shambo and Jaison. Shambo quaffed hers down like a true soldier. Jaison had a little case of the yacks, but managed to put it down.
The two Russells went at it next. Russell H finished his first, with Evil Russell taking a little more time.
Brett and Mick went next. Mick popped his down. Brett looked like he was getting a case of the gooks, but finished it off with style, licking the inside of his glass.
Monica and Liz slurped theirs down. I think that clip would make it into the Survivor fetish hall of fame. You know there are some oddballs out there that loooooove this stuff.
Ashley and Danger Dave went next. Dave polished his off, adding some extra sound effects, I assume for Ashley's benefit. Ashley got most of the way through her glass and then was down to the chunky bits at the bottom. She looked like she was trying to choke herself. She couldn't finish, costing Foa Foa a chance at a picnic.
You know her tribe had to be peeved after putting down all of that mess only to have her fail at a challenge that didn't have a time limit. You'd think she could've gotten it down eventually, wouldn't you?
As the winning tribe, Galu had to send a member to Foa Foa for the day and skip the BBQ. Russell decided to send Shambo. She was not pleased.
"I need my protein!" I'm pretty sure those seas slug intestines had plenty of that!
Russell muttered that she needed to pay for losing a chicken, and that was the price.
Back at Foa Foa, Shambo got some sympathy from her new pals and called for a group hug. Which she got. Even Evil Russell did it. Although in retrospect I think he may have been copping a feel.
Natalie gave Ashley a lot of sympathy. She was pretty nice considering her poor effort. Everyone else didn't seem as forgiving.
Back at Galu, the tribe couldn't seem to get the fire started to begin grilling their reward.
Dave got irritable and started sniping with Russell about it. He didn't want to help unless Russell "asked" him to. Eventually he realized he was causing a scene and apologized and began helping with the fire. A few minutes later, it was blazing.
Dave: "Evidently I'm the only one here who can make fire. I'm trying to downplay my awesomeness." I do that a lot, too. It's hard having awesomeness.
Back at Foa Foa, Shambo continued her blabbery ways and read off the hidden idol clues to the entire camp.
They found the right tree, but it was empty due to Evil Russell's early detective work. Most of the tribe suspected that Ben had found it and had taken it with him when he was voted off.
Liz suspected that Evil Russell had it and even told him so.
As true liars often do, Evil Russell was furious that someone would accuse him of...well, lying. He warned Liz that she was getting on his bad side. "Do you wanna go next?"
The weather began to turn really nasty. Galu finally began to regret their earlier challenge decision about taking blankets and pillow in favor of tent and tarp supplies. How's your Hello Kitty comforter working out for you now?
I can't decide if Danger Dave is starting to look like Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull or a cast reject from Deliverance.
The previous night was cold and very wet. Everyone looked particularly miserable as they lined up for the challenge.
This one was well selected. Nothing better than a strength/endurance challenge after a hard night of cold, rainy weather!
The challenge was for four individuals (two from each tribe) to hold a rope tied to a basket that four other tribe members would toss coconuts at. Each coconut would add weight to the basket until only one tribe remained.
Evil Russell and Liz held ropes for Foa Foa while Russell and someone else held for Galu.
Galu took an early lead on getting the coconuts in the baskets. Jonathan was hitting them like crazy. Jaison started shooting like a point guard, without much success. After a while everyone realized that the two hand toss worked better and the baskets started to fill.
The steady rain turned into a downpour.
Evil Russell dropped out first. He made a good effort, but the other tribe had dropped in too many coconuts. Liz held out longer, but eventually she caved as well.
Of note, Ashley was completely useless.
Back at camp, Foa Foa was stuck under their shelter in the torrential rains. There was no opportunity to talk strategy or weasel around. They decided to make their own decisions for who would be voted off at council that evening.
Jaison was miserable. The dude looked like a leper. Hands and feet all bleached and pruney. His extremeties looked a bit like Carol Channing's. Seems like everyone had similar problems judging by the way they held their hands out like they wanted nothing more but for them to dry out.
At camp, everyone seemed to be happy to be under shelter and by a warm fire. Possibly one of the few times when being at council provided a small advantage. At least they got to dry out.
Probst didn't have a lot to work with at council which confirms my suspicions that he watches the camp interviews before council to try to rile things up. He mostly asked about who trusted whom. Turns out everyone trusts everyone. How unfortunate.
The vote was a landslide, with Ashley getting eliminated. I noted that even her bestest pal, Natalie, wrote down her name. I guess when it's time to go, everyone knows it.
Odd Sears-sponsored "family moment" for Ashley. Her parents and their pair of lapdogs. Not sure what that was about. "We're proud of you, Ash! And so are Sweetums and Snookies!"
Next week, another challenge and another medical event! Who could it be!?!
Find out next week on...Survivorfest!
Friday, October 09, 2009
Survivorfest week 4!
Yasmin has been evicted!
After voting Ben off at council the night before, Jaison seems to have a tough time letting things go. He still fumed about Ben: "I can't stand people who use terms and phrases meant to hurt on a very basic level. Coming here was the worst decision of my life!"
So, the prospect of getting tossed onto a remote tropical location with twenty strangers from all walks of life who wish to star in a reality TV show didn't provide a hint that you might have to deal with an occasional ass or two?
Shambo returned from Foa Foa where she felt she had created "a following". She still groused about the lack of productive camp work at Galu and seemed to look forward to the tribes merging. She seemed to be working under the assumption that Foa Foa would have anyone left after losing all challenges to date.
Erik took Shambo aside with the intent of drilling her for information on the hidden immunity idol for which she must certainly have received a clue. He seemed to be getting somewhere when John came along and butted in and started asking the same questions. Stupid meddling rocket scientists!
Well, Shambo wasn't shy about telling them all she knew. She blabbed everything.
"Sharing knowledge can only help me going forward...Or maybe it could hurt me." Way to think that one out, Shambo.
Tree mail came and the leaders were to choose two people to accompany them to some type of event. Mick took Evil Russell and Natalie, Russell took Danger Dave and Shambo. Evidently he wanted brains and firepower. I'm not sure which he thought was which.
Anyone else think that Danger Dave has an uncanny resemblance to Kevin Spacey? It's starting to get distracting. I am beginning to believe that he has actually entered Survivor to work on his "method" acting to train for an upcoming role as a sociopath deserted on a tropical island. You heard it here first.
Updated Survivor celebrity look-a-like page: http://www.woltermanns.com/Survivorfest/Survivor_celebrity.htm
The six players met in a large ring in a clearing. And sort of stared at each other for a while. Probst was a no-show, so they really didn't know what to do.
On one side of the ring was a chest, on another was a crate of chickens. Naturally Shambo went straight for the chickens.
When they opened the chest they found instructions for a sort of bocce ball challenge. Closest ball to the wicket would get to bring the egg-layers back to camp.
I suspect that Probst was absent because he was accepting his Nobel Prize award in Stockholm. Seriously, couldn't they find someone else to fill in? Maybe Jonathan from the past couple seasons. I don't think he has much work since Down Periscope 2 - Back in Hot Water fell through.
Shambo put the chickens back in the pen and they started the game. Foa Foa took a quick lead and had the wicket circled with their balls. It came down to one last toss for Danger Dave. He nailed it, dropping his ball right on the wicket. Chickens and eggs for Galu!
Curiously, that was the dying phrase uttered by Mahila Sur, the mad prince of Toga in 1823. See, history does repeat itself!
Foa was quite discouraged by the sudden loss. Particularly since they were celebrating pretty prematurely. Mick put it succinctly: "we can't even pull off frickin' bocce ball!"
Back at Galu, while his tribemates were winning little nuggets of cholesterol, Erik was searching feverishly for a hidden idol. And he soon found it!
"I knew it was in this tree! Yes!!" Hmm. If that's the case, why did you look around the rest of camp for the past hour?
Danger Dave played it cool when he returned to camp. He wanted to stay centered even though he was thinking "I won chicken today, what did you do? Nothing! Peace!"
I think he's a couple of weeks away from starting up his own colony of half men/half animals.
At Foa Foa, Evil Russell decided to refine his alliance with Natalie. He felt he needed a tighter bind after Ben was voted off and he was losing faith in Jaison's will to stay in the game.
He insisted he was going to take Natalie to the final two with him. She could rest easy with that knowledge and "ride him like a horse". Yeah, I think I threw up a little in my mouth as well.
Natalie is buying it all: "I'm kind of like a wing man you might say." I wouldn't have gone with that phrase. Nope. More like a meat sandwich, where two escaped Gulag refugees take a weaker third person with them so they don't starve in the Siberian wasteland.
Catastrophe at Galu! One of the chickens managed to outsmart Shambo and escaped!
"Escaped chicken!! 911!" You'd think after being in the Marine's that Shambo would have some cooler phrases to blurt out.
Erik tried to help corral the chicken, hoping to accidentally kill it so he could eat it. In his haste he was clotheslined, ironically, by the clothesline.
The chicken managed to find safety in a nearby tree. Shambo: "I didn't know they could frickin' fly!"
Russell: "You a country girl! How could you not think that something with wings could fly!?!"
Back at Galu, Yasmin watched while Kelly chopped at a coconut. "Watching you is making me sleepy."
My wife asked "Isn't Yaz a birth control pill?" Probably not relevant, but worth mentioning.
The challenge was a net run with players carrying blocks. The blocks would be stacked in a column, then the players could continue over a rope bridge where they would make another block column. First to finish would win immunity.
Galu finished stacking their column slightly before Foa Foa. Foa got screwed as Probst finished Galu's count to five to verify that the tower would remain standing, and then started Foa's count late.
Nevertheless, Foa managed to catch up marginally on the rope bridge when Monica decided to take a little break part way over. They used this break to their advantage and managed to complete their tower first, winning the first immunity for Foa Foa!
Monica muttered: "Gotta keep our head held high!" Well, after that rope bridge performance, I don't think you should be tired...
Back at Galu, the tribe finally have to decide who to vote off.
The leaders to be cast off seem to be:
Shambo: "Shambo's colossal screwups are a shot to the team's morale. She lost a chicken!"
Yasmin: She does nothing at camp
Monica: She totally sucked in that challenge.
Russell is insistent on removing Monica. He believed they need to concentrate on challenges and Yasmin has been a decent player. In theory. I haven't really seen it.
I think the majority of the camp wanted to keep Monica, however. No one said anything in particular, but I think they're worried about voting off too many hot chicks this early in the season. Plus Yasmin does nothing at camp.
Russell: "These people are gonna listen to me or there's gonna be some serious ass kickin'!"
At council, Yasmin wore dress shoes with heels so that she would look fine for Jeff. Nice touch.
Yas was asked about her lack of work ethic at camp. She had the nerve to be offended: "I haven't been working? I can't believe you're bringing this up now! All you had to do was ask!"
She reiterated her awesomeness in challenges. I find it amusing how everyone thinks they bring so much to a team event...that they lost.
Monica, when asked about her role in sucking at the day's challenge, thought she started slowly, but then did just fine. I wonder what challenge she was thinking of.
The voted came in and Yas was cast out in a landslide. As she was walking off of the platform she nearly fell off of her fancy heels. Good stuff, and perhaps something of a metaphor. Whatever that is.
Shockingly, Russell changed his mind and also voted for her. I wonder how that came about?
I guess we'll find out next week on...Survivorfest!
After voting Ben off at council the night before, Jaison seems to have a tough time letting things go. He still fumed about Ben: "I can't stand people who use terms and phrases meant to hurt on a very basic level. Coming here was the worst decision of my life!"
So, the prospect of getting tossed onto a remote tropical location with twenty strangers from all walks of life who wish to star in a reality TV show didn't provide a hint that you might have to deal with an occasional ass or two?
Shambo returned from Foa Foa where she felt she had created "a following". She still groused about the lack of productive camp work at Galu and seemed to look forward to the tribes merging. She seemed to be working under the assumption that Foa Foa would have anyone left after losing all challenges to date.
Erik took Shambo aside with the intent of drilling her for information on the hidden immunity idol for which she must certainly have received a clue. He seemed to be getting somewhere when John came along and butted in and started asking the same questions. Stupid meddling rocket scientists!
Well, Shambo wasn't shy about telling them all she knew. She blabbed everything.
"Sharing knowledge can only help me going forward...Or maybe it could hurt me." Way to think that one out, Shambo.
Tree mail came and the leaders were to choose two people to accompany them to some type of event. Mick took Evil Russell and Natalie, Russell took Danger Dave and Shambo. Evidently he wanted brains and firepower. I'm not sure which he thought was which.
Anyone else think that Danger Dave has an uncanny resemblance to Kevin Spacey? It's starting to get distracting. I am beginning to believe that he has actually entered Survivor to work on his "method" acting to train for an upcoming role as a sociopath deserted on a tropical island. You heard it here first.
Updated Survivor celebrity look-a-like page: http://www.woltermanns.com/Survivorfest/Survivor_celebrity.htm
The six players met in a large ring in a clearing. And sort of stared at each other for a while. Probst was a no-show, so they really didn't know what to do.
On one side of the ring was a chest, on another was a crate of chickens. Naturally Shambo went straight for the chickens.
When they opened the chest they found instructions for a sort of bocce ball challenge. Closest ball to the wicket would get to bring the egg-layers back to camp.
I suspect that Probst was absent because he was accepting his Nobel Prize award in Stockholm. Seriously, couldn't they find someone else to fill in? Maybe Jonathan from the past couple seasons. I don't think he has much work since Down Periscope 2 - Back in Hot Water fell through.
Shambo put the chickens back in the pen and they started the game. Foa Foa took a quick lead and had the wicket circled with their balls. It came down to one last toss for Danger Dave. He nailed it, dropping his ball right on the wicket. Chickens and eggs for Galu!
Curiously, that was the dying phrase uttered by Mahila Sur, the mad prince of Toga in 1823. See, history does repeat itself!
Foa was quite discouraged by the sudden loss. Particularly since they were celebrating pretty prematurely. Mick put it succinctly: "we can't even pull off frickin' bocce ball!"
Back at Galu, while his tribemates were winning little nuggets of cholesterol, Erik was searching feverishly for a hidden idol. And he soon found it!
"I knew it was in this tree! Yes!!" Hmm. If that's the case, why did you look around the rest of camp for the past hour?
Danger Dave played it cool when he returned to camp. He wanted to stay centered even though he was thinking "I won chicken today, what did you do? Nothing! Peace!"
I think he's a couple of weeks away from starting up his own colony of half men/half animals.
At Foa Foa, Evil Russell decided to refine his alliance with Natalie. He felt he needed a tighter bind after Ben was voted off and he was losing faith in Jaison's will to stay in the game.
He insisted he was going to take Natalie to the final two with him. She could rest easy with that knowledge and "ride him like a horse". Yeah, I think I threw up a little in my mouth as well.
Natalie is buying it all: "I'm kind of like a wing man you might say." I wouldn't have gone with that phrase. Nope. More like a meat sandwich, where two escaped Gulag refugees take a weaker third person with them so they don't starve in the Siberian wasteland.
Catastrophe at Galu! One of the chickens managed to outsmart Shambo and escaped!
"Escaped chicken!! 911!" You'd think after being in the Marine's that Shambo would have some cooler phrases to blurt out.
Erik tried to help corral the chicken, hoping to accidentally kill it so he could eat it. In his haste he was clotheslined, ironically, by the clothesline.
The chicken managed to find safety in a nearby tree. Shambo: "I didn't know they could frickin' fly!"
Russell: "You a country girl! How could you not think that something with wings could fly!?!"
Back at Galu, Yasmin watched while Kelly chopped at a coconut. "Watching you is making me sleepy."
My wife asked "Isn't Yaz a birth control pill?" Probably not relevant, but worth mentioning.
The challenge was a net run with players carrying blocks. The blocks would be stacked in a column, then the players could continue over a rope bridge where they would make another block column. First to finish would win immunity.
Galu finished stacking their column slightly before Foa Foa. Foa got screwed as Probst finished Galu's count to five to verify that the tower would remain standing, and then started Foa's count late.
Nevertheless, Foa managed to catch up marginally on the rope bridge when Monica decided to take a little break part way over. They used this break to their advantage and managed to complete their tower first, winning the first immunity for Foa Foa!
Monica muttered: "Gotta keep our head held high!" Well, after that rope bridge performance, I don't think you should be tired...
Back at Galu, the tribe finally have to decide who to vote off.
The leaders to be cast off seem to be:
Shambo: "Shambo's colossal screwups are a shot to the team's morale. She lost a chicken!"
Yasmin: She does nothing at camp
Monica: She totally sucked in that challenge.
Russell is insistent on removing Monica. He believed they need to concentrate on challenges and Yasmin has been a decent player. In theory. I haven't really seen it.
I think the majority of the camp wanted to keep Monica, however. No one said anything in particular, but I think they're worried about voting off too many hot chicks this early in the season. Plus Yasmin does nothing at camp.
Russell: "These people are gonna listen to me or there's gonna be some serious ass kickin'!"
At council, Yasmin wore dress shoes with heels so that she would look fine for Jeff. Nice touch.
Yas was asked about her lack of work ethic at camp. She had the nerve to be offended: "I haven't been working? I can't believe you're bringing this up now! All you had to do was ask!"
She reiterated her awesomeness in challenges. I find it amusing how everyone thinks they bring so much to a team event...that they lost.
Monica, when asked about her role in sucking at the day's challenge, thought she started slowly, but then did just fine. I wonder what challenge she was thinking of.
The voted came in and Yas was cast out in a landslide. As she was walking off of the platform she nearly fell off of her fancy heels. Good stuff, and perhaps something of a metaphor. Whatever that is.
Shockingly, Russell changed his mind and also voted for her. I wonder how that came about?
I guess we'll find out next week on...Survivorfest!
Friday, October 02, 2009
Survivorfest week 3
Ben is free to go home and wonder why no one confused him for J.T.
After the evening's tribal council it appeared Mick and Jaison were having some regrets about ditching Betsy. The more Jaison thought about it, the more he was offended by Ben's rants toward Yasmin.
Evil Russell is grouchy because no one else in camp seems to be strategizing other than him. I think he feels a bit like his talents are being wasted.
Case in point, his discussion with Natalie, where he began asking her about her thoughts on the next challenge, who she'd like to see voted off next when they lose said challenge, etc. He was disappointed when she seemed dazed and confused..."Um, like....is today Tuesday? We have a challenge today?" Some people were not meant to go deep into this game.
Speaking of Natalie, did anyone else think that, with her hair up, she looked like Wilma Flintstone?
According to Evil Russell's bio sheet (which may or may not be accurate) he is married. Anyone else wonder what his wife looks like? I suspect it's either some young, smoking hot, mysterious Asian girl or his female twin. I'm hopeful that he sticks around long enough for a "loved ones" session so we can put that question to rest.
Evidently Ben is the only one at Fao Fao who can make fire. And he's more than happy to explain that. I thought it was kind of funny when he told Liz that girls couldn't make fire because their hands weren't strong enough to strike the flint right. Seriously...don't even try.
I did appreciate a little inside Survivor info compliments of Ben: "Did you poop yet? I finally went last night! It was like the biggest poop of my life!" I think he was actually looking for a high five. Anyone else here ever get high-fived over poop? After the age of three, of course.
On Galu, the tribe seemed to be taking things in stride. Laura led a group of them in yoga, much to Shambo's irritation. "Screw yoga, man!" makes it into the Survivorfest hall of fame for quotes.
Anyone else think that Erik was dressed like a 1980's flashdancer? Seriously, dude, the low rise briefs and the thigh-high socks? Not a good look.
Back at Fao Fao, Evil Russell decided to get started on his next plan, and told Ben that Ashley was out to get him. Ben promptly went over to Ashley and confronted her on why she wrote his name down the night before.
Ashley "how did you know?"
Ben "It wasn't Russell and I'm not gonna tell you!"
Hmm. That was a pretty amazing piece of deception there, Ben. Fortunately Ashley doesn't seem to be the sharpest knife in the drawer.
The pre-challenge tree mail came with a nice treat for the viewers. Custom-cut, designer made bikinis! But only for the remaining hotties, evidently. Probably just as well. The thought of Evil Russell in a Speedo gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Several of the Galu girls did a little fashion walk with their new suits. I think they were auditioning for a future Playboy spread "the Girls of Survivor!". How is it possible that this hasn't been done yet?
The challenge for this week was a run through the surf past a defender to reach a crate. The crate would be dragged back to shore and assembled with other crates retrieved by other teams of players. These crates would be stacked to form a set where only one color of each set could face each side.
Probst warned the contestants that this challenge "would be physical!".
Turned out to be pretty lame, really. I think the contestants were given a stern talking to about behaving themselves after the last sordid challenge. Most of the activity was around holding people, dragging them past the "safe zone" line and, of course, pulling tops off.
The only point of interest for me was at one point it looked like a couple of the guys were going to drown Mick. I wonder if that would have been against the rules.
I did enjoy watching Laura avoid Ashley by splashing her with water. It was like the scene from "the Naked Gun" where Leslie Nielsen/Frank Drebin has a pillow thrown in his face and he's all "Aarrggghhhh!!!"
Russell S didn't seem very effective as a defender. They seemed to just race right by him.
Galu went on to another decisive victory. No one seemed to notice Evil Russell's sly smile. I think his horns are starting to show.
As leader of Galu, Russell was given the choice of a comfort reward (blankets and pillows) or functional reward (fire, tent stuff, etc.). He made the decision to go with comfort.
"I'm a function guy, but I think this is a comfort group." He also related to the camera that he wanted to keep the girls happy. Well, that should provide for some nice, comfortable mats for their yoga parties.
In case anyone was wondering, Fao Fao is Samoan for "loser". I looked it up.
Russell also elected to send Shambo over to Fao Fao for the night. She made an immediately positive impression, unlike Yasmin who practically instigated a race riot.
Turns out Galu calls Mick "McDreamy". I will now add that information to the list of things I could have happily died without knowing. Other items on that list? Six of the eleven secret KFC herbs and spices, Franklin D Roosevelt's full middle name and the reason behind the popularity of Twitter. But that stuff is best left for another blog.
Shambo also got the clue for the hidden idol that was in Evil Russell's possession. She began looking in earnest. She seemed to find the right tree, but had no way of knowing that the idol was now missing. She was determined, though. I think the only thing sticking out from under that tree was her feet. Kinda wondered what everyone else at camp thought she was doing, particularly since she continued to have a conversation with them as she was digging.
At Galu, Russell tried to explain his decision on the comfort reward. "I have a wife and kids, but they're not here...right now you guys are part of my women." Unfortunately he didn't seem to be talking to just the women. Erik, what do you think? Are you Russell's new biotch?
Back at Fao Fao, Mick does the whole "I'll be straight and never lie to you" thing with Evil Russell. To help seal the dead, ER showed Mick his immunity idol. I am still convinced that he just likes showing it to people because he needs to be told how clever he is. I will be surprised if he doesn't show a new person each week moving forward.
ER: "I was born for this! This is what God made me for!" I was willing to bet it that he was made to be a walking advertisement for birth control, but what do I know?
Jaison has decided that he's had all he can stand of Ben. Either Ben goes or he does.
This put a crimp in ER's plan to rid the camp of Ashley. Jaison indicated that he was going to lay into Ben at council that night and if they didn't want to vote Ben off, they would have to deal with what that meant at camp the next day.
True to his word, Jaison got into it with Ben at tribal council that night.
Jaison is too nice and well-spoken to have had much of an impact, however. After Ben reiterated that Yasmin was ghetto trash ("she's from the ghetto and she's trash!") The best he could come up with was something like "Okay, you...southern gentleman...you might like NASCAR and women with lower back tattoos!"
My favorite part was when Jaison lectured him about speaking so poorly to a lady, to which Ben replied "That bitch ain't no lady!" CBS's operators are standing by to hear your complaints!
The vote was attended to. I was surprised how neat Ben's handwriting was. You know...for a racist hick.
Ben was voted out in a landslide.
I was a little surprised that he didn't have some choice parting words for his tribe as he left. Maybe he did and CBS just cut them.
About his early departure "They're all a bunch of sissies, except Russell! They're gonna starve without me!"
Guess we'll find out next week on....Survivorfest!
After the evening's tribal council it appeared Mick and Jaison were having some regrets about ditching Betsy. The more Jaison thought about it, the more he was offended by Ben's rants toward Yasmin.
Evil Russell is grouchy because no one else in camp seems to be strategizing other than him. I think he feels a bit like his talents are being wasted.
Case in point, his discussion with Natalie, where he began asking her about her thoughts on the next challenge, who she'd like to see voted off next when they lose said challenge, etc. He was disappointed when she seemed dazed and confused..."Um, like....is today Tuesday? We have a challenge today?" Some people were not meant to go deep into this game.
Speaking of Natalie, did anyone else think that, with her hair up, she looked like Wilma Flintstone?
According to Evil Russell's bio sheet (which may or may not be accurate) he is married. Anyone else wonder what his wife looks like? I suspect it's either some young, smoking hot, mysterious Asian girl or his female twin. I'm hopeful that he sticks around long enough for a "loved ones" session so we can put that question to rest.
Evidently Ben is the only one at Fao Fao who can make fire. And he's more than happy to explain that. I thought it was kind of funny when he told Liz that girls couldn't make fire because their hands weren't strong enough to strike the flint right. Seriously...don't even try.
I did appreciate a little inside Survivor info compliments of Ben: "Did you poop yet? I finally went last night! It was like the biggest poop of my life!" I think he was actually looking for a high five. Anyone else here ever get high-fived over poop? After the age of three, of course.
On Galu, the tribe seemed to be taking things in stride. Laura led a group of them in yoga, much to Shambo's irritation. "Screw yoga, man!" makes it into the Survivorfest hall of fame for quotes.
Anyone else think that Erik was dressed like a 1980's flashdancer? Seriously, dude, the low rise briefs and the thigh-high socks? Not a good look.
Back at Fao Fao, Evil Russell decided to get started on his next plan, and told Ben that Ashley was out to get him. Ben promptly went over to Ashley and confronted her on why she wrote his name down the night before.
Ashley "how did you know?"
Ben "It wasn't Russell and I'm not gonna tell you!"
Hmm. That was a pretty amazing piece of deception there, Ben. Fortunately Ashley doesn't seem to be the sharpest knife in the drawer.
The pre-challenge tree mail came with a nice treat for the viewers. Custom-cut, designer made bikinis! But only for the remaining hotties, evidently. Probably just as well. The thought of Evil Russell in a Speedo gives me the heebie-jeebies.
Several of the Galu girls did a little fashion walk with their new suits. I think they were auditioning for a future Playboy spread "the Girls of Survivor!". How is it possible that this hasn't been done yet?
The challenge for this week was a run through the surf past a defender to reach a crate. The crate would be dragged back to shore and assembled with other crates retrieved by other teams of players. These crates would be stacked to form a set where only one color of each set could face each side.
Probst warned the contestants that this challenge "would be physical!".
Turned out to be pretty lame, really. I think the contestants were given a stern talking to about behaving themselves after the last sordid challenge. Most of the activity was around holding people, dragging them past the "safe zone" line and, of course, pulling tops off.
The only point of interest for me was at one point it looked like a couple of the guys were going to drown Mick. I wonder if that would have been against the rules.
I did enjoy watching Laura avoid Ashley by splashing her with water. It was like the scene from "the Naked Gun" where Leslie Nielsen/Frank Drebin has a pillow thrown in his face and he's all "Aarrggghhhh!!!"
Russell S didn't seem very effective as a defender. They seemed to just race right by him.
Galu went on to another decisive victory. No one seemed to notice Evil Russell's sly smile. I think his horns are starting to show.
As leader of Galu, Russell was given the choice of a comfort reward (blankets and pillows) or functional reward (fire, tent stuff, etc.). He made the decision to go with comfort.
"I'm a function guy, but I think this is a comfort group." He also related to the camera that he wanted to keep the girls happy. Well, that should provide for some nice, comfortable mats for their yoga parties.
In case anyone was wondering, Fao Fao is Samoan for "loser". I looked it up.
Russell also elected to send Shambo over to Fao Fao for the night. She made an immediately positive impression, unlike Yasmin who practically instigated a race riot.
Turns out Galu calls Mick "McDreamy". I will now add that information to the list of things I could have happily died without knowing. Other items on that list? Six of the eleven secret KFC herbs and spices, Franklin D Roosevelt's full middle name and the reason behind the popularity of Twitter. But that stuff is best left for another blog.
Shambo also got the clue for the hidden idol that was in Evil Russell's possession. She began looking in earnest. She seemed to find the right tree, but had no way of knowing that the idol was now missing. She was determined, though. I think the only thing sticking out from under that tree was her feet. Kinda wondered what everyone else at camp thought she was doing, particularly since she continued to have a conversation with them as she was digging.
At Galu, Russell tried to explain his decision on the comfort reward. "I have a wife and kids, but they're not here...right now you guys are part of my women." Unfortunately he didn't seem to be talking to just the women. Erik, what do you think? Are you Russell's new biotch?
Back at Fao Fao, Mick does the whole "I'll be straight and never lie to you" thing with Evil Russell. To help seal the dead, ER showed Mick his immunity idol. I am still convinced that he just likes showing it to people because he needs to be told how clever he is. I will be surprised if he doesn't show a new person each week moving forward.
ER: "I was born for this! This is what God made me for!" I was willing to bet it that he was made to be a walking advertisement for birth control, but what do I know?
Jaison has decided that he's had all he can stand of Ben. Either Ben goes or he does.
This put a crimp in ER's plan to rid the camp of Ashley. Jaison indicated that he was going to lay into Ben at council that night and if they didn't want to vote Ben off, they would have to deal with what that meant at camp the next day.
True to his word, Jaison got into it with Ben at tribal council that night.
Jaison is too nice and well-spoken to have had much of an impact, however. After Ben reiterated that Yasmin was ghetto trash ("she's from the ghetto and she's trash!") The best he could come up with was something like "Okay, you...southern gentleman...you might like NASCAR and women with lower back tattoos!"
My favorite part was when Jaison lectured him about speaking so poorly to a lady, to which Ben replied "That bitch ain't no lady!" CBS's operators are standing by to hear your complaints!
The vote was attended to. I was surprised how neat Ben's handwriting was. You know...for a racist hick.
Ben was voted out in a landslide.
I was a little surprised that he didn't have some choice parting words for his tribe as he left. Maybe he did and CBS just cut them.
About his early departure "They're all a bunch of sissies, except Russell! They're gonna starve without me!"
Guess we'll find out next week on....Survivorfest!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Survivorfest week 2!
Betsy is put in lockdown!
Back at Fao Fao, Evil Russell was patting himself on the back for ridding Samoa of the ever-dangerous Marisa. "She was a strong woman! I can't have that!" Russell seems like one of these guys who will go on and on about how stupid, worthless, lazy, etc. a person is until they get voted off. Then he will explain, at length, about how impressive he is to have rid himself of such a clever, sly and dangerous opponent.
He took Betsy aside and chastised her because she didn't trust him. Clearly she still didn't and they agreed to continue not trusting each other.
Mick hit the shore wearing some very strange boxers. Yellow with red accents maybe...it looked like he was wearing a dress or bloomers. Very strange.
Back at Galu, Yasmin wonders aloud why everyone else seemed to be weathering the beach better than her. "Why do I look so bad?" to which Dave replied "'Cause you funky, baby!" I don't know what that means, but it sounded funny.
Davis is starting to remind me of Kevin Spacey.
It sounds to me like Yasmin is ready to go home. She spent an inordinate amount of time whining about living outdoors. She did drop a Survivorfest hall of fame quote on us: "People said if you can survive in Detroit you can survive anywhere...I'll tell you this: The hood is not the wood!"
Jaison took Evil Russell aside to try to understand him better. They ended up in (yet another) secret alliance. Evil Russell seemed happy to be paired with Jaison at that point. We'll see how long it lasts.
Say what you will about Evil Russell, but he appears to be a game changer. Back at camp he immediately began looking for a hidden immunity idol. And damned if he didn't find one!
I think this has to set some sort of high mark, since there were plenty of people, given one or more clues, who were unable to find a hidden idol. Evil Russell pulled one out just by looking around.
I suspect future seasons of Survivor will see better-hidden immunity idols.
For those keeping score at home, Evil Russell gets 5 points for finding a hidden immunity idol (even though he wasn't really supposed to).
He was actually being watched by most of the tribe when he found the thing, but managed to hide it in his underwear. My oldest: "Yuck! I don't wanna touch that!" Hopefully Probst will use gloves.
Evil Russell took Jaison off to show him what he had found. I suspect it wasn't so much wanting to maintain the strategy or complete his alliance with Jaison as Evil Russell indicated...I think he just wanted to brag to someone that he found it.
I can't wait to see what ERuss does when he's eventually and inevitably voted off. The over/under is at flipping everyone off and the line is increasing weekly.
The challenge was a battle royal where groups of players fight to gain possession of three balls to toss to their companions to shoot at a hoop.
When they read about this in tree mail Mike was pumped!
"I'm a mean motor scooter and a bad go-getter! I'm gonna go downtown to China town!" I hereby rename Mike as Mr. Cliche.
The tribes did a great job of applying war paint for the challenge. It almost looked like they had help from make-up artists as opposed to the kindergarten scrawls they usually end up with.
The game started with three men vs. three men. Erik went nuts. I think he took a piece out of everybody. Good thing Mick is a doctor. He might be wishing he took dentistry after one hit.
Shambo clocked Liz in the head! Probst: "Easy on the face!" No one wants to watch a reality TV show starring twenty elephant people. Well, maybe they do. I need to send that one in to CBS.
Probst actually had to warn the contestants after the first rounds that the gameplay was getting too rough. No chokeholds or head butts! But pulling off someone's top is still okay...just makes for good reality TV!
During the next match Ben, sporting a peculiar pair of yellow boxer-briefs, tripped good Russell. This earned him banishment from the game for the first time in Survivor history.
Galu ended up winning the competition, but it paled in comparison to the sheer brutality of the match. Those folks were really going after each other. I guarantee you we will not see this game in a future Survivor season.
Probst asked Ben what he thought about being kicked out of the game. His reply? "Outlaw, baby!"
Galu got fishing supplies as their reward. The twist was that they had to choose one of their tribe to join Fao Fao for a day to hang out with them. They chose Yasmin.
She got a clue to take with her and she stood by the rest of the Fao Fao tribe. I couldn't help but notice Evil Russell checking her out, top to bottom. Seriously, anyone who doesn't find this guy creepy should quit walking through parking lots alone at night.
After the challenge, Mike (aka Mr. Cliche) wasn't well. Medical came in and found his blood pressure to be 80/60. After a hard physical challenge, that isn't right. Predictably, he soon passed out.
Medical staff's recommendation: Mike was done for the game. He was evacuated to a hospital.
Yasmin was crying like a baby, which is funny because she doesn't even belong to that tribe. Not to miss an opportunity to expound, Mike declared "It stinks ta have to leave the game, but dose guys never got me down in da pit!" Well except the one part where Erik dislodged your spleen with his shoulder.
For those keeping score at home, Mike gets 5 points for being a medical reject. He also is considered as the second person out of the game, should a loveable loser tie breaker be necessary.
Back at Galu, Shambo insisted on spear fishing with the new equipment. Unfortunately the water turned out to be murky and she didn't have any luck. In fact, she not only caught any fish, but she spent time floating around instead and managed to lose the mouthpiece for the snorkel.
Not an auspicious start.
At Fao Fao, Yasmin made an immediate impression. She stepped up, called everyone's attention and declared that she was a professional hairstylist, she was there to help them because they really sucked as a tribe and it wouldn't be fun to run over them in every single challenge. The woman didn't stop talking for twenty minutes. She had diarrhea of the mouth.
Evil Russell now hates her with every fiber of his being.
Yasmin took Ben aside and chastised him about a shot he took at her during the challenge. "You tackled me like a dude! That was disrespectful!"
Ben took exception to her rebuke and laid into her when he could get a word in edgewise. Some of the better zingers:
Listen to me, grammar school...
you smell bad
you're pretty close to being a hooker!
you're ghetto trash
Go make yourself a ketchup sandwich and some Kool-Aid!
Wow. I really have nothing to add to that. Hah. Of course I do. Talk about the wastecan calling the dumpster "trash".
Ben was so geared up that he spent most of the night keeping people up with his firemaking and wood chopping. He wore his buff in a way that made him look like Aunt Jemimah.
Betsy determined that she was definitely in danger of going home since she was evidently "old".
She chatted with the two blondes to try to get them to change their minds.
"You can't trust Russell! Use your women's intuition!"
One of the girls said "Yeah! Um, what?"
The other said "oh, that's okay, my daddy paid for college."
The bell tolls for thee, Betsy.
At tribal council Jeff managed, with little effort, to get Yasmin and Ben fighting again. She was eventually asked to leave so the tribe could vote Betsy off. She glared at Ben as she departed. This isn't over. I only hope Yasmin can last long enough for the tribes to merge. The over/under on that is "doubtful".
While voting, Betsy sang the COPS theme song to herself "bad boys, bad boys...whatcha gonna do...?"
Ben went with a little somethin' somethin' from Ice T's Cop Killer. "You're a bad cop...this one's for you! Pow!" (mimicked popping a cap in her head).
Somewhere in the Black Rock building at the corner of West Second St and Sixth Ave, NY City, CBS's complaint line lit up like the Fourth of July.
Betsy was voted out in a landslide. Evil Russell continues to roll and the Fao Fao tribe grows, if not weaker, more foolish each week.
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Back at Fao Fao, Evil Russell was patting himself on the back for ridding Samoa of the ever-dangerous Marisa. "She was a strong woman! I can't have that!" Russell seems like one of these guys who will go on and on about how stupid, worthless, lazy, etc. a person is until they get voted off. Then he will explain, at length, about how impressive he is to have rid himself of such a clever, sly and dangerous opponent.
He took Betsy aside and chastised her because she didn't trust him. Clearly she still didn't and they agreed to continue not trusting each other.
Mick hit the shore wearing some very strange boxers. Yellow with red accents maybe...it looked like he was wearing a dress or bloomers. Very strange.
Back at Galu, Yasmin wonders aloud why everyone else seemed to be weathering the beach better than her. "Why do I look so bad?" to which Dave replied "'Cause you funky, baby!" I don't know what that means, but it sounded funny.
Davis is starting to remind me of Kevin Spacey.
It sounds to me like Yasmin is ready to go home. She spent an inordinate amount of time whining about living outdoors. She did drop a Survivorfest hall of fame quote on us: "People said if you can survive in Detroit you can survive anywhere...I'll tell you this: The hood is not the wood!"
Jaison took Evil Russell aside to try to understand him better. They ended up in (yet another) secret alliance. Evil Russell seemed happy to be paired with Jaison at that point. We'll see how long it lasts.
Say what you will about Evil Russell, but he appears to be a game changer. Back at camp he immediately began looking for a hidden immunity idol. And damned if he didn't find one!
I think this has to set some sort of high mark, since there were plenty of people, given one or more clues, who were unable to find a hidden idol. Evil Russell pulled one out just by looking around.
I suspect future seasons of Survivor will see better-hidden immunity idols.
For those keeping score at home, Evil Russell gets 5 points for finding a hidden immunity idol (even though he wasn't really supposed to).
He was actually being watched by most of the tribe when he found the thing, but managed to hide it in his underwear. My oldest: "Yuck! I don't wanna touch that!" Hopefully Probst will use gloves.
Evil Russell took Jaison off to show him what he had found. I suspect it wasn't so much wanting to maintain the strategy or complete his alliance with Jaison as Evil Russell indicated...I think he just wanted to brag to someone that he found it.
I can't wait to see what ERuss does when he's eventually and inevitably voted off. The over/under is at flipping everyone off and the line is increasing weekly.
The challenge was a battle royal where groups of players fight to gain possession of three balls to toss to their companions to shoot at a hoop.
When they read about this in tree mail Mike was pumped!
"I'm a mean motor scooter and a bad go-getter! I'm gonna go downtown to China town!" I hereby rename Mike as Mr. Cliche.
The tribes did a great job of applying war paint for the challenge. It almost looked like they had help from make-up artists as opposed to the kindergarten scrawls they usually end up with.
The game started with three men vs. three men. Erik went nuts. I think he took a piece out of everybody. Good thing Mick is a doctor. He might be wishing he took dentistry after one hit.
Shambo clocked Liz in the head! Probst: "Easy on the face!" No one wants to watch a reality TV show starring twenty elephant people. Well, maybe they do. I need to send that one in to CBS.
Probst actually had to warn the contestants after the first rounds that the gameplay was getting too rough. No chokeholds or head butts! But pulling off someone's top is still okay...just makes for good reality TV!
During the next match Ben, sporting a peculiar pair of yellow boxer-briefs, tripped good Russell. This earned him banishment from the game for the first time in Survivor history.
Galu ended up winning the competition, but it paled in comparison to the sheer brutality of the match. Those folks were really going after each other. I guarantee you we will not see this game in a future Survivor season.
Probst asked Ben what he thought about being kicked out of the game. His reply? "Outlaw, baby!"
Galu got fishing supplies as their reward. The twist was that they had to choose one of their tribe to join Fao Fao for a day to hang out with them. They chose Yasmin.
She got a clue to take with her and she stood by the rest of the Fao Fao tribe. I couldn't help but notice Evil Russell checking her out, top to bottom. Seriously, anyone who doesn't find this guy creepy should quit walking through parking lots alone at night.
After the challenge, Mike (aka Mr. Cliche) wasn't well. Medical came in and found his blood pressure to be 80/60. After a hard physical challenge, that isn't right. Predictably, he soon passed out.
Medical staff's recommendation: Mike was done for the game. He was evacuated to a hospital.
Yasmin was crying like a baby, which is funny because she doesn't even belong to that tribe. Not to miss an opportunity to expound, Mike declared "It stinks ta have to leave the game, but dose guys never got me down in da pit!" Well except the one part where Erik dislodged your spleen with his shoulder.
For those keeping score at home, Mike gets 5 points for being a medical reject. He also is considered as the second person out of the game, should a loveable loser tie breaker be necessary.
Back at Galu, Shambo insisted on spear fishing with the new equipment. Unfortunately the water turned out to be murky and she didn't have any luck. In fact, she not only caught any fish, but she spent time floating around instead and managed to lose the mouthpiece for the snorkel.
Not an auspicious start.
At Fao Fao, Yasmin made an immediate impression. She stepped up, called everyone's attention and declared that she was a professional hairstylist, she was there to help them because they really sucked as a tribe and it wouldn't be fun to run over them in every single challenge. The woman didn't stop talking for twenty minutes. She had diarrhea of the mouth.
Evil Russell now hates her with every fiber of his being.
Yasmin took Ben aside and chastised him about a shot he took at her during the challenge. "You tackled me like a dude! That was disrespectful!"
Ben took exception to her rebuke and laid into her when he could get a word in edgewise. Some of the better zingers:
Listen to me, grammar school...
you smell bad
you're pretty close to being a hooker!
you're ghetto trash
Go make yourself a ketchup sandwich and some Kool-Aid!
Wow. I really have nothing to add to that. Hah. Of course I do. Talk about the wastecan calling the dumpster "trash".
Ben was so geared up that he spent most of the night keeping people up with his firemaking and wood chopping. He wore his buff in a way that made him look like Aunt Jemimah.
Betsy determined that she was definitely in danger of going home since she was evidently "old".
She chatted with the two blondes to try to get them to change their minds.
"You can't trust Russell! Use your women's intuition!"
One of the girls said "Yeah! Um, what?"
The other said "oh, that's okay, my daddy paid for college."
The bell tolls for thee, Betsy.
At tribal council Jeff managed, with little effort, to get Yasmin and Ben fighting again. She was eventually asked to leave so the tribe could vote Betsy off. She glared at Ben as she departed. This isn't over. I only hope Yasmin can last long enough for the tribes to merge. The over/under on that is "doubtful".
While voting, Betsy sang the COPS theme song to herself "bad boys, bad boys...whatcha gonna do...?"
Ben went with a little somethin' somethin' from Ice T's Cop Killer. "You're a bad cop...this one's for you! Pow!" (mimicked popping a cap in her head).
Somewhere in the Black Rock building at the corner of West Second St and Sixth Ave, NY City, CBS's complaint line lit up like the Fourth of July.
Betsy was voted out in a landslide. Evil Russell continues to roll and the Fao Fao tribe grows, if not weaker, more foolish each week.
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
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