Survivorfest week 11

Crystal finally outruns the only thing she can...her luck.

Back at camp, Matty was very unhappy to find out that Kenny was using him as a backup plan in case Corinne had an actual immunity idol.

Kenny: "I have been calling the shots...I am the mastermind!"

Matty agreed: "Kenny's the mastermind!" I prefer to think of him as more of an opportunistic rodent.

Crystal weighed in: "I regret not writing Matty's name down. That might be the stupidest move I've made in this game." With so many stupid things to choose from, that must be hard to say.

Bob fessed up to Kenny that the idol they thought Corinne might have was one of his exceptional fakes. Kenny was very upset that he was deceived and actually made Bob feel bad enough to promise to give him immunity if he should win it at the next challenge.

The reward challenge involved running through a swamp to grab a ball, running back through the swamp, shooting the ball through a basketball-type hoop and then returning for another ball. First contestant to hit three baskets would win reward.

Heh. Kenny runs like a rag doll.

Crystal should star in a movie called "She Ain't Got Game." Seriously, how can someone be so awful at every single challenge? And did I mention she's an Olympic athlete?

Matty sunk his first two balls quickly, but seemed to freeze up when trying to sink his third ball. Bob, who was retrieving his balls at a fairly leisurely pace, came back and calmly sunk this third and final ball to win the reward challenge.

During this time, Crystal spent the entire challenge failing to make a single basket. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2004 Olympic gold medal winner!

Bob was allowed to take two people with him to the reward trip. He chose Crystal and Kenny for reasons that weren't particularly obvious to me. Susie was sent to Exile Island.

The reward started out with a nice meal and what appeared to be mojitos, followed by a shower and some clean clothes. Muumuus, actually.

Bob looked ridiculous. Kenny seemed to enjoy his new threads: "They've even got pockets!" Ah, soon it will be known as "gamer wear".

After dressing the three were treated to a trip to a gorilla rescue station. It was a little disappointing, honestly. They didn't get to frolic with the gorillas or feed them or even fight to the death in a cage match. It was a little like a trip to the zoo.

Back at camp, Matty was chastising Sugar over her recent relationship with Kenny and Crystal: "You're the evil 3!"

He even tried to get her to give him the idol. You know, just because she should feel bad about being evil.

When Crystal and Kenny returned from reward they took turns laying into Matty. I'm not really sure why. I guess all that eating, sleeping and hanging around with gorillas pissed them off.

Sugar felt so badly about the two of them kicking Matty while he was down that she started to...you guessed it: cry. I think Sugar is the biggest crier in Survivor history.

The Immunity challenge was a puzzle that was completed on one end that the contestants would have to replicate with unassembled pieces at the other end of an obstacle course. While blindfolded.

Matty's strategy was to retrieve all three puzzle packets and make his way to the other end of the course to start working.

Crystal's strategy appeared to be to wander off and get lost. Possibly to be eaten by wild animals with any luck.

After several prompts from Jeff, Crystal eventually managed to find her way back to the obstacle course, to which Probst yelled: "Crystal, miraculously, is almost there!"

Bob finished first, but didn't complete his puzzle correctly.


Susie chose this time to wander off into the savannah. How is she still in this game?

Kenny finished, but also didn't have all the pieces right.

Bob finished again, and this time had the pieces placed correctly to win immunity!

Back at camp, Kenny plotted to take Bob's idol, as Bob promised, and then vote him off. What a bastard!

In practice, this plan seemed to hit a snag as Bob appeared to have second thoughts. Rather than reneging, he altered his agreement with Kenny to be that he would give him the idol if he thought that it was likely that Kenny would be voted off.

Sugar didn't like being part of the "evil 3" and ratted out Kenny's plan to Bob. She then went on to tell Kenny and Crystal that she related to Bob that everyone was planning to vote off Kenny. Tricky.

When Matty tried to put in his two cents Sugar shushed him and told him to "let her do the thinking." I don't know about you, but when I let someone named after a sweetner do the thinking for me, I expect mixed results.

At tribal council we were treated to Randy's new haircut. A mohawk. Strangely, it made him look about fifteen years younger. And even angrier.

Probst extolled the virtues of Bob's recent success. When asked his opinion, Kenny said "He's strong, he's smart, he's agile...he's Bob." I gotta tell you, after the first 4-5 weeks I don't think I would have believed that I would hear anyone say that about Bob. Maybe he is worthy of a Yau-Man comparison now.

Probst explained that anyone possessing a hidden idol would need to play it at that council. He reminded everyone that only legit idols would be accepted, since there have been occasions where people have been fooled into playing false idols. In the resulting closeup, Randy appeared very close to ripping off his own ears. he wouldn't have any trouble finding them without any hair on the sides of his head.

I'm amused to note how easy it is to read Crystal. She either has this sneaky, smarmy look when things are going according to plan or she has this petulant, about-to-cry thing going when something unexpected is happening.

Bob decided to keep his idol, declaring that he didn't believe Kenny to be in any danger of being voted off. Sugar gave her idol to Matty after the vote, which turned out to be fortuitous.

The first two votes read were for Matty and were discarded. The next three were for Crystal, sending her to the lodge with some of her very best friends.

She took it much better than I would have guessed.


This Sunday is the final episode for the season! Glenda has a small lead at this time. Let's see if she can keep it!

Survivorfest week 10!

Corinne falls victim to another "awesome plan"!

Evidently Bob was very unhappy with how much Sugar enjoyed Randy being fooled by the false idol at the previous tribal council. In fact, back at camp he laid into her pretty good. Based on how much people hated Randy, I'm not sure what he thought would happen...Anyway, it showed some character that has sadly been missing from the contestants this season. He's still no Yau Man, but I give him props.

Right after that Sugar and Corinne got into it. Sugar didn't like how Corinne liked to talk behind other people's backs, to which Corinne responded: "If I tell people to their face what I think of them it wouldn't work out very well!" Duh, Sugar.

Corinne also added this Survivor Hall of Fame quote: "I'm nice to the people I like!" Heck isn't everyone? Well, maybe not Randy.

The reward challenge was a puzzle challenge. The contestants divided into teams of two, trekked through a muddy field to reach sprocket-shaped puzzle pieces and then return to put them together to form a set of gears to raise a flag. Winning team would compete against each other in a slide puzzle for reward.

Reward in this case was a video message from loved ones. Jeff shared a snippet with each of them. About the only one who didn't start blubbering hysterically was Susie. You can tell she's a wife and mom. Heck this is probably the closest thing she's had to a vacation in years.

Biggest shock of the day: Sugar cried.

No Exile Island for this challenge. Makes sense. I think everyone knows that Sugar found the idol and that there's no more to be had.

The teams selected rocks at random and Crystal and Susie were chosen to be team captains. They played rock-paper-scissors to see who would go first. Predictably, Susie won. Crystal can't even win a kid's game.

Susie took Matty and Kenny. Crystal took Bob and Sugar. Corinne was left out. She believed that it was team related. I tend to feel it was competence related, but that doesn't really explain Sugar.

The teams went into the mud and after the pieces. I kept waiting for Probst to tell them it was leech infested. Alas, it wasn't.

Susie's team was the first out of the muddy field, but it turns out that Kenny still isn't all that good at puzzles. Bob finally got it together and worked it to completion.

Bob, Sugar and Crystal squared off at the slide puzzles. Bob finished in record time to win reward.

Bob got pizza, beer and an extended version of the video message from his wife. Part way through the message his wife appeared behind him. My daughter asked "how did she do that?" Gifted. Huh.

Bob brought his wife back to camp, where she got to meet his fellow players. She seemed to know everyone. I kept waiting for her to ask "where's that rat bastard Randy?"

The rest of the loved ones came around the corner shortly after and much more blubbering ensued.

Kenny took his sister aside to explain to her how he was ruling the game: "Sugar and Crystal owe me cause I saved their asses...Everybody trusts me."

He followed it up with a vow that if he made it to the final three he was going to win the game. You heard it here first.

Sugar's sister brought their dad's ashes to sprinkle in Africa. I wonder how she got 'em over there. I pictured the following discussion at customs:

Man: "Anyting to declare, Miss?"
Sugar's sister: "I'm carrying my dead father's ashes in my pocket."
Man: "Your father had more dan one ash? How deed he seet?"
Sugar's sister: "Ashes, ashes!"
Man: "...we all fall down?"

It kinda goes downhill from here, I'm afraid.

Matty decided this would be an opportune time to declare his undying love for his girlfriend, present her with the ring he made and ask for her hand in marriage.

A. He loses major man points for all the blubbering.
B. If you turned off the video you would think that you were listening to a porn video

Matty: "Ohhh, baby I just want to be with you forever!"
Matty's gf: "Ohh, yes, baby, yes!!!!"
Matty: (moaning noises)
Matty's gf: "Ohh, baby!"

This, too, goes downhill from here.

After the family and significant others left, and CBS had Matty's part of the camp washed off, we were back to the game.

Bob took Corinne aside and concocted a plan where he would start a rumor that Marcus palmed the idol that everyone assumed was thrown away weeks before. He would then make another fake idol and flash it around. The final objective was to get people to blindside Matty.

Corinne: "Good plan! Awesome plan!" Hmm...where have I heard her say that before...Oh yes. Last week. We'll see if it turns out any better.

Immunity challenge was a trivia contest. Each correctly answered question resulted in winning a ball that would later be tossed from a deck to a circular target below. Closest ball to the center won immunity.

Sugar was the best at the trivia, answering all the questions correctly. This did her no good however as she was still fairly incompetent at anything physical. Bob fairly easily won the challenge.

Back to camp to implement the master plan!

Corinne spun Bob's plan out to Kenny and he appeared to buy it hook, line and sinker.

Corinne: "This plan is a long shot, but it would be awesome if it works!" I'm sorry, but that's not a good basis for a plan.

She followed it up with "I can't believe it's working! This shows you the incompetence we're dealing with."

My wife noted: "I think the level of incompetence was shown when you had your entire team voted off from under you."

Bob showed his new fake idol to Crystal who also was excited to be part of the plan. She and Kenny made one good decision...hedge their bets. Enough votes to remove Corinne, and if she had the idol, enough to blindside Matty.

Crystal: "The mental part of this game is kicking my ass."

My daughter added: "Which part of this game isn't?" Well said.

I'm getting really tired of seeing that smug look on Crystal's face. If she wins this game I'm going to be physically ill.

The vote went in, and Corinne went out. Her punishment was that she would now have to room with Randy for the remainder of the show.

See you next week on...Survivorfest!