Week 8 results!

Charlie makes the third blindside in a row!

This episode started with a rehash of Randy's general hatred toward humanity, particularly Crystal.

Kenny was gloating over his role in blind-siding Marcus: "The Crystal in me came out!" Good, then maybe you guys will win a challenge now.

Bob, who wasn't in on the blindside, knows he's in deep if his tribe goes to council again soon. With Kenny, Crystal, Susie and Corinne on his side, he'd better get busy.

Bob: "It looks like I'm history...even though I teach science. That's a little joke." I'll make the snarky comments here, Bob.

As an aside, I really hate it when people pronounce "from the get go" as "from the gecko". It makes me think of a Geico commercial.

At the reward challenge, the other tribe was shocked to find that Marcus had been voted off. Charlie and Corinne were absolutely distraught. Matty was grinning like an idiot.

The tribe started arguing over the relative merits of voting Marcus off. They claimed he "didn't deserve it". Susie: "we all deserve it!" Some of you more than others, Susie.

The reward challenge was a game of Survivor golf using large slingshots and over-sized balls. Insert your own Randy joke here.

I must say, that the "drives" by the players were straighter than mine usually are.

Kota won the first round.

Fang tied it up in the second round with a great second shot that landed just short of the hole.

Third round and Fang dropped the ball right next to the hole, forcing Kenny to hit a 30 foot "putt" to have a chance. He didn't make it and Randy, Matty and Charlie lined up for a "gimme" putt.

At this point Randy and Matty had an argument about the way to approach the shot. Matty actually "shushed" Randy, which didn't go over too well. Charlie tried to be a peacemaker, but the other two were too headstrong. Eventually Randy relented and let Matty take the shot his way, which he dropped in for the win.

Randy's got to be a joy to go golfing with. I'm certain he'd fume after every slice and taunt you at every turn. I would like to see a reality TV show where we spends a season as Tiger Woods' caddy.

The tribe chose Bob to go to Exile in the hopes that he would find the hidden idol.

For reward, the tribe got to go to a Gabonese town and enjoy a feast with dancing.

And, evidently, ritual bathing. Corinne: " They started beating us with leaves and stripping off our clothes" Just like every other Saturday night back home, huh, Corinne?

Charlie was still distraught over losing Marcus: "We were really good friends...who will do our thinking for us?" Sounds like a line from Casablanca.

The dancing at the feast seemed to be typical native stuff...Electric Slide, Macarena and the Hustle.

Randy: "I think one of 'em liked me. I haven't had a woman come on to me in twenty years!" Here's hoping for twenty more, Randy!

Matty danced like a drunken frat boy.

I was laughing to myself about the garb they dressed the tribe in. It looked like fancy hula skirts. At this point my oldest said "I wonder if they get to keep those outfits..." Good taste in clothes must skip a generation. I'll let you decide which generation it skipped.

Back at camp, Kenny managed to maroon himself in the middle of the lagoon in a canoe. I think he was reminiscing about his time in the challenge with the boats and the water polo game. Spinning in a circle.

He eventually got back to the shore with his fish. He was pretty happy with the situation: "I'm the only man at Kota with two very beautiful women!" Eesh. I'm not sure if he was being charitable or if he has vision problems. How long do you need to spend in the jungle before you look at Susie and say "oooooh, yeah. I need me a piece of that!"

He further indicated: If people want to take me out, I'll take them out!" He's such a gangsta.

At Exile, Bob searched for the idol. Eventually he found the hiding spot and determined that Sugar had found it before him. He took a page out of Yau-Man and Ozzie's book and made an idol of his own.

Actually, it looked really good. Better than Ozzie's Mr. Stick man, anyway.

Those of you who missed tonight's episode were spared the site of Bob wading through the river in bicycle shorts. There are some things you can't un-see.

At the immunity challenge, Probst announced that the tribe would now merge and that the challenge would be fire-starting for individual immunity.

Randy opined: "Crystal couldn't start a fire with a book of matches and a gallon of gasoline." He's like a Survivor Hall of Fame quote machine!

He also has several pet nicknames for Crystal: Sasquatch and T-Rex. It wouldn't surprise me if the two of them got married after this season. You heard it here first.

Surprisingly, Susie was the first to make flame.
Matty hacked himself. Should be interesting to see if that festers.
Sugar made flame next.
No one else even got a fire started. Susie burned through her rope first to win immunity!

Somewhere, Yau-Man watched Bob fail to make fire, swore and turned off his TV in disgust.

Back at the combined camp, the tribe found ample food and the tribe started to work out their strategies.

Randy to Charlie: "Have you heard anything about anything?"

Sugar was, once again, the big swing vote. Both factions worked her over for her vote.

Turns out that Kenny harbored a grudge against Charlie for screwing with the clue he found at last week's feast. Evidently Charlie blurted out the clue Kenny had, which led to Randy finding the idol and Marcus getting everyone to toss it out to sea.

He spread a rumor that Charlie was, in fact, the brains behind the operation and was pulling the strings. Surprisingly, everyone believed him.

Kenny: "I'm like a rat, chewing in the corner...chchchchchhch!" Indeed.

The tribe was responsible for coming up with a new tribe name and a flag. I think I would hate this. It's like some weird team-building event at work.

They settled on Nobag, which is Gabon backwards. And sounds kinda dirty. For what it's worth, the President of Gabon spelled backwards is Ognob. Also sounds slightly dirty.

At tribal council Probst did his best to restart the fight between Randy and Matty. When that didn't work, he stirred up Randy and Crystal.

Crystal went a little diva on us and started referring to herself in the third person. I think that really drove Randy into a tizzy and he told her off, blaming her for all the tribe losses up to that point. He wasn't far from wrong, I think.

During the voting, Randy wrote down Crystal as "C.C." Jeff would later make him validate his vote, since he wasn't clear. This is an interesting point, because, in theory, he could have made something up and changed his vote after seeing other votes. Something to remember in case you make the game some day.

When Randy wrote down her name he uttered "Bitch!" I knew who he meant.

Sugar was already crying. She hadn't even cast her vote yet!

Charlie wrote down Crystal's name: You took out Marcus and now I'll scratch your eyes out, bitch!" Okay, I made that up.

Charlie was blindsided in a close vote over Crystal. Marcus was not pleased. Possibly because that meant that he and Charlie would be attached at the hip at the resort for the next several weeks. "Time for another massage, Marcus?" "Isn't the merlot simply divine?" "Does this hula skirt make my ass look big?"

Frankly I think Charlie knew something was up and wrote his own name down.

Points awarded tonight were for Susie winning individual immunity and Charlie for going to the jury.

Next week, Randy and Crystal are back at it!