Back from tribal council, Matty started pining for his girlfriend. And his dog. He started grinding out a ring for her...um, the girlfriend. I'm not sure what he was making the ring out of, but it sort of looked like a hunk of dung.
Matty and Ace decided it was time to work together. As part of their deal they each had their "bitches" that they would get to keep. Ace's was Sugar and Matty's was, well, Kenny.
I thought it was classy when they each had to swear on something sacred to them. Matty swore on his aforementioned girlfriend and Ace swore on Jonny Fairplay's dead grandmother. Just kidding.
Sugar volunteered to give Ace her idol. I really have to wonder what she was thinking. She almost seemed embarrassed to have the idol, especially since everyone seems to know. Heck, why not give it away? We'll see if this bold strategy pays off for her. Somewhere, Erik the idiot is yelling "Noooooooo! Don't do it!"
Ace took this turn of events with his typical humility "I went from a position of no power to a position of supremacy!" Does that mean he has Probst's job now?
Kelly seemed to have gravitated from using "dude" in every sentence to using "like". I suspect grammar teachers around the country are DVR'ing her to show to their students. "Do you really want to sound like this!?!"
Starvation was beginning to set in at Fang. You could almost see the palpable change in Kenny as he quit looking over at Kelly, thinking he'd like to score with her and now wondered what she'd be like with a side of beans and some fruit cocktail (smack, smack).
Back at Kota, Dan was hogging all the food! Evidently he was starving or something. He probably should have taken a cue to slow down when everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at him.
At reward challenge when Jeff let Kota know that pimp GC has been voted off the previous day. Randy was so excited he even did a fist pump. It's nice that he can let his hatred of others transcend tribal boundaries.
The reward challenge was for each team to carry a 200 pound snake around a track. First team to catch up to and tag the other won a bunch of food. All the reward challenges seem to be about food...I think CBS is really hoping for Fang to win so they can actually participate in the challenges.
Kota sat Corinne.
As they started out, Jeff was his typical helpful self "you're gonna get tired and you're gonna quit!" I wonder if he does motivational speaking in the off-season.
Sugar and Kenny dropped out first for Fang. Then Kellie. Fang sped up a little at this point.
Susie dropped out for Kota.
Fang had Matty, Ace and Crystal. Crystal, the Olympic athlete, was soon toast and dropped out. Poor Ace tried to keep up with Matty, but didn't have the stamina for it. The challenge was over pretty quick.
Randy exhorted "Not even close! Not even close!!" They should let Randy color commentate future challenges. He'd be fun.
While Kota enjoyed the fruits (actually Danishes) of their victory, Fang stood on and watched.
Kellie asked "Can you share?"
to which Randy replied "Nooooo." Then he gave her a view of some chewed food.
Crystal broke down in tears. Randy, ever the gentleman replied with "wah!" Yeah, he's my favorite.
Kota chose Sugar to head to Exile again. Where she started to cry. Evidently she felt guilty about having tons of food to eat and a nice hammock while her tribe starved. Don't fret, Sugar. Your tribe feels bad enough about that for all of you.
Randy's gloating got a lot of attention this week. I wonder if he's starting to tire of keeping to the background.
Randy: "I love to win challenges, but I especially love watching them lose!"
Crystal: "Randy is a troll. He's a troll under a bridge."
Crystal was concerned that her breakdown after the challenge might strike her tribe as a sign that she was becoming Coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs. She assured them "don't take my tears as a sign of weakness!" I rather think her pitiful challenge performances are a sign of weakness.
Crystal added "Kelly hasn't had two words to say to me since we got back and now she's gonna feel the wrath of Crystal." She confronted Ace and Kelly in the jungle and reiterated that she still had her game.
Crystal stepped up with this Survivor Hall of Fame quote: "Everyone gets depressed...Mine just comes out of my eyes!"
Back at Kota, Randy found a turtle. I suspected it wouldn't end well for the turtle...unless it was suicidal. Turns out Marcus knew just how to cook one. Yup. Scratch one turtle.
There are hippos in the water, too. I wonder if the tribes are allowed to kill and eat them. That would be an entertaining challenge in and of itself.
For the immunity challenge the tribes were broken up into three pairs each. They would travel through an obstacle course to get pipe shaped puzzle pieces and then assemble them.
Bob and Randy were paired. Randy was a little slow, but Bob is a whiz with knots.
Kellie and Sugar were paired, They were really quick through the course, but got held up at the knot portion. By the time they had to get back, they had lost a bit of ground.
Corinne and Charlie went next with Ace and Crystal. My wife thinks that Charlie is wearing pants from the show F-Troop. Those of you who didn't know what a 45 spacer was won't know this one, either.
It was pretty close for the next groups: Dan and Marcus and Kenny and Matty. Dan and Marcus were like a force of nature. I was surprised how quick Kenny was. He did a good job of keeping up with Matty, who is starting to remind me of a less talented Ozzy.
Kenny and Matty took a big lead by climbing over the obstacles instead of through them. You could almost hear Probst thinking "Damn! Gotta make that against the rules for next time."
Kota had a slight lead in getting all the pieces but it was close. Fang struggled with putting the pieces together. Ace actually called Crystal off, but couldn't complete the puzzle. Another loss for Fang.
Randy gloated again. I'm surprised someone hasn't punched him yet.
Back at camp Crystal let it out "Ace is a tyrant and a bully!"
Ace told us "I was was expecting more from Kelly" Really? Has he seen her at all in any of these challenges?
Ace and Matty discussed dropping Kelly. Matty doesn't think Kenny would have a problem with it. I suspect he'd be reluctant to part with his pretend hottie girlfriend.
Crystal wanted to argue because she really hates Ace. And Kelly. Frankly I don't think she likes anyone. She's probably wondering what would happen if she started putting Randy's name down at tribal council.
Sugar told Kenny that she gave the idol to Ace. Does this girl have any sense of how to play this game? She certainly appears to be going through without any semblance of a plan.
To counter the sinking feeling that she may have made a mistake (and probably from the sixty-five cell phone calls that Erik the idiot left for her) she asked Ace for the idol back. I don't think we've seen a re-gifting of the idol in Survivor history before.
At council Jeff wondered aloud where it all went wrong.
Matty replied with "we're cursed!"
Ace took the blame for the puzzle part of the challenge. Like him or hate him, you gotta admit that he has been playing this game with his own sense of style.
Crystal went after Kelly at council and the gloves were off. Kelly admitted she thought Crystal was too emotional and shouldn't have broken down in front of the other tribe.
Jeff clarified "She didn't say you were weak, just unstable" Crystal seemed okay with that.
Then Ace and Kelly got into it when she tried to drag him in to the fight with Crystal. "I'd be surprised if you understood half of what I was saying". Add a few more "dudes" and "likes" and I'm sure she will.
Kelly was voted out in a landslide, going back to this season's pattern of voting all the women out after taking a brief hiatus with GC.
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
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