Survivorfest week 10

The Ozzfather is blindsided! Parvarti wins a challenge! Erik gets to talk! All spell out another wild week of Survivor!

Jason came back from tribal council where Eliza was voted off after an abortive, and somewhat humorous, attempt to use the fake immunity idol that Ozzie had left behind. He admitted to "feeling kind of silly". I'm not sure if that was from being fooled by the fake idol or from wearing that ridiculous bandanna thing on his head. He looked like a cross between Aunt Jemima and an extra from the Emperor's New Groove.

Cirie reflected on Ami's failed attempt to blindside Ozzie and that if he had been voted off it wouldn't have been such a bad thing. I'd like to point out that I saw this coming in last week's blog. I shall now break my arm patting myself on the back.

The reward challenge was an obstacle course, in the water, leading to a memory puzzle. The tribe was divided into two groups, chosen by schoolyard pick. Jason went first and picked Ozzie. Natalie made a critical error by selecting James (swimming + puzzle challenge should equal someone other than James). Jason rounded out his team with Amanda and Erik.

Since there were nine people, Cirie was the odd person out. She was sent to Exile Island where she knew that no idol awaited her. This is not going to improve her disposition.

Reward was a plane trip and a grand feast on the island nation of Yap. A quick Wiki search indicates that Yap is also known as Wa'ab. Seriously, let's get a PR person down to these poor people and rename their islands! No one is going to spend good tourism $$$ in a place named Wa'ab or Yap! Those are sounds a dog makes.

Jason's team took a quick lead due to their strong swimmers and quickly completed the challenge. James' contribution for his leg of the trip was one single puzzle piece. At least he didn't get it wrong, I guess.

The winning tribe took off on a plane ride to Yap, where they were greeted by the Dalai Lama. Just kidding. He kinda looked like him, though.

Erik seemed refreshed from the plane ride and was dropping Survivor Hall of Fame quotes like poop from a goose. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Turns out my boy Erik is from Hickney. Is anyone even remotely surprised by this? You can't make stuff like this up.

You can, however, make believe you are on Dinosaur Island: "[The island] is so primeval...I kept expecting a dinosaur to come out...Raahhhrr!"

The native women went topless for the feast, leading Erik to remark: "The lunch lady didn't have a shirt on" and "I've never seen so many boobs in my life!".

Erik also went on to rave about the dramatic quality of the native dance "it was some legend of their culture!" I suspect it was the legend of the great Dabu.

Erik went on to try the native custom of chewing betel nuts, which provide a mild buzz. They also appeared to cause significant intestinal distress later, leading to the top ten Hall of Fame worthy quote: "Damn that betel nut!"

Followed shortly by "I partied too hard Micronesian style!"

Erik is now one of my all-time favorite Survivors.

The immunity challenge was an endurance challenge where the tribe stood with an arm upraised and attached to a bucket of colored water. This event was full of surprises...

Cirie and Erik (!) quit in order to share a bowl of gummy candy. What...the...hell? I can see Cirie doing this, because she typically doesn't win challenges and wasn't likely to break her streak on an endurance challenge. But Erik?

Since when did he feel comfortable enough in the game to skip challenges? And for a bowl of candy?!? I'm starting to suspect he may have a mental age of eight. It would have cemented it for me if he had used the phrase "boobies" earlier, so the jury is still out.

Alexis dropped out before Probst officially offered the next bribe, so she didn't get anything but a seat on the bench. She gave Probst a really nasty look.

Natalie dropped out for some cookies. And I think she lost her pants when the water dumped on her. How awkward.

James lost his concentration and stretched, causing his water bucket to dump on him.

Ozzie dropped out for donuts. Better than a bowl of candy, but Ozzie!

At the five hour mark, Amanda exceeded all expectations I had of her. But she then decided she had to pee and quit to take a sprint into the jungle. I'd like to point out that these guys were rained on for some period of time, providing ample opportunity for relief. And who goes into an immunity challenge with a full bladder, anyway?

At the six hour mark, Probst rolled out the big guns: a full plate of junk food, pizza and drinks for everyone if someone dropped out of the challenge.

With only Jason and Parvarti left, Jason asked for a verbal promise of immunity if he gave up so they can all eat. Everyone promised not to vote for him, although several had their fingers crossed. Literally. I mean, come on. What is this, sixth grade?

Jason dropped out, leaving Parvarti with immunity.

James went on to make a rambling statement or story about challenges and donuts, but I would need a transcript to figure out what the heck he was talking about. Maybe he was delirious.

Back at camp, Cirie and Parvarti led the "let's blindside Ozzie" crusade. The group wisely left out Amanda, James and Erik on the discussion, since they had the numbers they needed. This was neatly covered by the fact that everyone seemed to automatically assume that when they promised they would not vote out Jason, they were in fact, all lying.

I was surprised that Probst didn't spend more time at tribal council trying to subtly hint that Ozzie might get screwed. He usually does something like that, but he spent more time hinting to Jason that everyone was going to axe him despite their promises.

James weighed in with a HOF worthy quote as he cast his vote for Jason "...and I thought I was the dumbest Survivor ever..."

The blindside worked beautifully. Despite having the hidden immunity idol, Ozzie felt comfortable enough not to play it and was voted off.

The shock was evident...Amanda looked like she was trying to catch flies with her mouth, James was apoplectic and Erik looked like he was going to cry. Even Eliza was beside herself.

He took it pretty well, I thought: "Whoever from my group that voted me off, I hate you. Screw you, basically." He'll make a fine member of the jury and he'll definitely be added to the list of top ten Surivor exits (if I ever make one).

Next week, everything is up for grabs!