Crystal finally outruns the only thing she can...her luck.
Back at camp, Matty was very unhappy to find out that Kenny was using him as a backup plan in case Corinne had an actual immunity idol.
Kenny: "I have been calling the shots...I am the mastermind!"
Matty agreed: "Kenny's the mastermind!" I prefer to think of him as more of an opportunistic rodent.
Crystal weighed in: "I regret not writing Matty's name down. That might be the stupidest move I've made in this game." With so many stupid things to choose from, that must be hard to say.
Bob fessed up to Kenny that the idol they thought Corinne might have was one of his exceptional fakes. Kenny was very upset that he was deceived and actually made Bob feel bad enough to promise to give him immunity if he should win it at the next challenge.
The reward challenge involved running through a swamp to grab a ball, running back through the swamp, shooting the ball through a basketball-type hoop and then returning for another ball. First contestant to hit three baskets would win reward.
Heh. Kenny runs like a rag doll.
Crystal should star in a movie called "She Ain't Got Game." Seriously, how can someone be so awful at every single challenge? And did I mention she's an Olympic athlete?
Matty sunk his first two balls quickly, but seemed to freeze up when trying to sink his third ball. Bob, who was retrieving his balls at a fairly leisurely pace, came back and calmly sunk this third and final ball to win the reward challenge.
During this time, Crystal spent the entire challenge failing to make a single basket. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2004 Olympic gold medal winner!
Bob was allowed to take two people with him to the reward trip. He chose Crystal and Kenny for reasons that weren't particularly obvious to me. Susie was sent to Exile Island.
The reward started out with a nice meal and what appeared to be mojitos, followed by a shower and some clean clothes. Muumuus, actually.
Bob looked ridiculous. Kenny seemed to enjoy his new threads: "They've even got pockets!" Ah, soon it will be known as "gamer wear".
After dressing the three were treated to a trip to a gorilla rescue station. It was a little disappointing, honestly. They didn't get to frolic with the gorillas or feed them or even fight to the death in a cage match. It was a little like a trip to the zoo.
Back at camp, Matty was chastising Sugar over her recent relationship with Kenny and Crystal: "You're the evil 3!"
He even tried to get her to give him the idol. You know, just because she should feel bad about being evil.
When Crystal and Kenny returned from reward they took turns laying into Matty. I'm not really sure why. I guess all that eating, sleeping and hanging around with gorillas pissed them off.
Sugar felt so badly about the two of them kicking Matty while he was down that she started to...you guessed it: cry. I think Sugar is the biggest crier in Survivor history.
The Immunity challenge was a puzzle that was completed on one end that the contestants would have to replicate with unassembled pieces at the other end of an obstacle course. While blindfolded.
Matty's strategy was to retrieve all three puzzle packets and make his way to the other end of the course to start working.
Crystal's strategy appeared to be to wander off and get lost. Possibly to be eaten by wild animals with any luck.
After several prompts from Jeff, Crystal eventually managed to find her way back to the obstacle course, to which Probst yelled: "Crystal, miraculously, is almost there!"
Bob finished first, but didn't complete his puzzle correctly.
Susie chose this time to wander off into the savannah. How is she still in this game?
Kenny finished, but also didn't have all the pieces right.
Bob finished again, and this time had the pieces placed correctly to win immunity!
Back at camp, Kenny plotted to take Bob's idol, as Bob promised, and then vote him off. What a bastard!
In practice, this plan seemed to hit a snag as Bob appeared to have second thoughts. Rather than reneging, he altered his agreement with Kenny to be that he would give him the idol if he thought that it was likely that Kenny would be voted off.
Sugar didn't like being part of the "evil 3" and ratted out Kenny's plan to Bob. She then went on to tell Kenny and Crystal that she related to Bob that everyone was planning to vote off Kenny. Tricky.
When Matty tried to put in his two cents Sugar shushed him and told him to "let her do the thinking." I don't know about you, but when I let someone named after a sweetner do the thinking for me, I expect mixed results.
At tribal council we were treated to Randy's new haircut. A mohawk. Strangely, it made him look about fifteen years younger. And even angrier.
Probst extolled the virtues of Bob's recent success. When asked his opinion, Kenny said "He's strong, he's smart, he's agile...he's Bob." I gotta tell you, after the first 4-5 weeks I don't think I would have believed that I would hear anyone say that about Bob. Maybe he is worthy of a Yau-Man comparison now.
Probst explained that anyone possessing a hidden idol would need to play it at that council. He reminded everyone that only legit idols would be accepted, since there have been occasions where people have been fooled into playing false idols. In the resulting closeup, Randy appeared very close to ripping off his own ears. he wouldn't have any trouble finding them without any hair on the sides of his head.
I'm amused to note how easy it is to read Crystal. She either has this sneaky, smarmy look when things are going according to plan or she has this petulant, about-to-cry thing going when something unexpected is happening.
Bob decided to keep his idol, declaring that he didn't believe Kenny to be in any danger of being voted off. Sugar gave her idol to Matty after the vote, which turned out to be fortuitous.
The first two votes read were for Matty and were discarded. The next three were for Crystal, sending her to the lodge with some of her very best friends.
She took it much better than I would have guessed.
This Sunday is the final episode for the season! Glenda has a small lead at this time. Let's see if she can keep it!
Thursday, December 11, 2008
Thursday, December 04, 2008
Survivorfest week 10!
Corinne falls victim to another "awesome plan"!
Evidently Bob was very unhappy with how much Sugar enjoyed Randy being fooled by the false idol at the previous tribal council. In fact, back at camp he laid into her pretty good. Based on how much people hated Randy, I'm not sure what he thought would happen...Anyway, it showed some character that has sadly been missing from the contestants this season. He's still no Yau Man, but I give him props.
Right after that Sugar and Corinne got into it. Sugar didn't like how Corinne liked to talk behind other people's backs, to which Corinne responded: "If I tell people to their face what I think of them it wouldn't work out very well!" Duh, Sugar.
Corinne also added this Survivor Hall of Fame quote: "I'm nice to the people I like!" Heck isn't everyone? Well, maybe not Randy.
The reward challenge was a puzzle challenge. The contestants divided into teams of two, trekked through a muddy field to reach sprocket-shaped puzzle pieces and then return to put them together to form a set of gears to raise a flag. Winning team would compete against each other in a slide puzzle for reward.
Reward in this case was a video message from loved ones. Jeff shared a snippet with each of them. About the only one who didn't start blubbering hysterically was Susie. You can tell she's a wife and mom. Heck this is probably the closest thing she's had to a vacation in years.
Biggest shock of the day: Sugar cried.
No Exile Island for this challenge. Makes sense. I think everyone knows that Sugar found the idol and that there's no more to be had.
The teams selected rocks at random and Crystal and Susie were chosen to be team captains. They played rock-paper-scissors to see who would go first. Predictably, Susie won. Crystal can't even win a kid's game.
Susie took Matty and Kenny. Crystal took Bob and Sugar. Corinne was left out. She believed that it was team related. I tend to feel it was competence related, but that doesn't really explain Sugar.
The teams went into the mud and after the pieces. I kept waiting for Probst to tell them it was leech infested. Alas, it wasn't.
Susie's team was the first out of the muddy field, but it turns out that Kenny still isn't all that good at puzzles. Bob finally got it together and worked it to completion.
Bob, Sugar and Crystal squared off at the slide puzzles. Bob finished in record time to win reward.
Bob got pizza, beer and an extended version of the video message from his wife. Part way through the message his wife appeared behind him. My daughter asked "how did she do that?" Gifted. Huh.
Bob brought his wife back to camp, where she got to meet his fellow players. She seemed to know everyone. I kept waiting for her to ask "where's that rat bastard Randy?"
The rest of the loved ones came around the corner shortly after and much more blubbering ensued.
Kenny took his sister aside to explain to her how he was ruling the game: "Sugar and Crystal owe me cause I saved their asses...Everybody trusts me."
He followed it up with a vow that if he made it to the final three he was going to win the game. You heard it here first.
Sugar's sister brought their dad's ashes to sprinkle in Africa. I wonder how she got 'em over there. I pictured the following discussion at customs:
Man: "Anyting to declare, Miss?"
Sugar's sister: "I'm carrying my dead father's ashes in my pocket."
Man: "Your father had more dan one ash? How deed he seet?"
Sugar's sister: "Ashes, ashes!"
Man: "...we all fall down?"
It kinda goes downhill from here, I'm afraid.
Matty decided this would be an opportune time to declare his undying love for his girlfriend, present her with the ring he made and ask for her hand in marriage.
A. He loses major man points for all the blubbering.
B. If you turned off the video you would think that you were listening to a porn video
Matty: "Ohhh, baby I just want to be with you forever!"
Matty's gf: "Ohh, yes, baby, yes!!!!"
Matty: (moaning noises)
Matty's gf: "Ohh, baby!"
This, too, goes downhill from here.
After the family and significant others left, and CBS had Matty's part of the camp washed off, we were back to the game.
Bob took Corinne aside and concocted a plan where he would start a rumor that Marcus palmed the idol that everyone assumed was thrown away weeks before. He would then make another fake idol and flash it around. The final objective was to get people to blindside Matty.
Corinne: "Good plan! Awesome plan!" Hmm...where have I heard her say that before...Oh yes. Last week. We'll see if it turns out any better.
Immunity challenge was a trivia contest. Each correctly answered question resulted in winning a ball that would later be tossed from a deck to a circular target below. Closest ball to the center won immunity.
Sugar was the best at the trivia, answering all the questions correctly. This did her no good however as she was still fairly incompetent at anything physical. Bob fairly easily won the challenge.
Back to camp to implement the master plan!
Corinne spun Bob's plan out to Kenny and he appeared to buy it hook, line and sinker.
Corinne: "This plan is a long shot, but it would be awesome if it works!" I'm sorry, but that's not a good basis for a plan.
She followed it up with "I can't believe it's working! This shows you the incompetence we're dealing with."
My wife noted: "I think the level of incompetence was shown when you had your entire team voted off from under you."
Bob showed his new fake idol to Crystal who also was excited to be part of the plan. She and Kenny made one good decision...hedge their bets. Enough votes to remove Corinne, and if she had the idol, enough to blindside Matty.
Crystal: "The mental part of this game is kicking my ass."
My daughter added: "Which part of this game isn't?" Well said.
I'm getting really tired of seeing that smug look on Crystal's face. If she wins this game I'm going to be physically ill.
The vote went in, and Corinne went out. Her punishment was that she would now have to room with Randy for the remainder of the show.
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Evidently Bob was very unhappy with how much Sugar enjoyed Randy being fooled by the false idol at the previous tribal council. In fact, back at camp he laid into her pretty good. Based on how much people hated Randy, I'm not sure what he thought would happen...Anyway, it showed some character that has sadly been missing from the contestants this season. He's still no Yau Man, but I give him props.
Right after that Sugar and Corinne got into it. Sugar didn't like how Corinne liked to talk behind other people's backs, to which Corinne responded: "If I tell people to their face what I think of them it wouldn't work out very well!" Duh, Sugar.
Corinne also added this Survivor Hall of Fame quote: "I'm nice to the people I like!" Heck isn't everyone? Well, maybe not Randy.
The reward challenge was a puzzle challenge. The contestants divided into teams of two, trekked through a muddy field to reach sprocket-shaped puzzle pieces and then return to put them together to form a set of gears to raise a flag. Winning team would compete against each other in a slide puzzle for reward.
Reward in this case was a video message from loved ones. Jeff shared a snippet with each of them. About the only one who didn't start blubbering hysterically was Susie. You can tell she's a wife and mom. Heck this is probably the closest thing she's had to a vacation in years.
Biggest shock of the day: Sugar cried.
No Exile Island for this challenge. Makes sense. I think everyone knows that Sugar found the idol and that there's no more to be had.
The teams selected rocks at random and Crystal and Susie were chosen to be team captains. They played rock-paper-scissors to see who would go first. Predictably, Susie won. Crystal can't even win a kid's game.
Susie took Matty and Kenny. Crystal took Bob and Sugar. Corinne was left out. She believed that it was team related. I tend to feel it was competence related, but that doesn't really explain Sugar.
The teams went into the mud and after the pieces. I kept waiting for Probst to tell them it was leech infested. Alas, it wasn't.
Susie's team was the first out of the muddy field, but it turns out that Kenny still isn't all that good at puzzles. Bob finally got it together and worked it to completion.
Bob, Sugar and Crystal squared off at the slide puzzles. Bob finished in record time to win reward.
Bob got pizza, beer and an extended version of the video message from his wife. Part way through the message his wife appeared behind him. My daughter asked "how did she do that?" Gifted. Huh.
Bob brought his wife back to camp, where she got to meet his fellow players. She seemed to know everyone. I kept waiting for her to ask "where's that rat bastard Randy?"
The rest of the loved ones came around the corner shortly after and much more blubbering ensued.
Kenny took his sister aside to explain to her how he was ruling the game: "Sugar and Crystal owe me cause I saved their asses...Everybody trusts me."
He followed it up with a vow that if he made it to the final three he was going to win the game. You heard it here first.
Sugar's sister brought their dad's ashes to sprinkle in Africa. I wonder how she got 'em over there. I pictured the following discussion at customs:
Man: "Anyting to declare, Miss?"
Sugar's sister: "I'm carrying my dead father's ashes in my pocket."
Man: "Your father had more dan one ash? How deed he seet?"
Sugar's sister: "Ashes, ashes!"
Man: "...we all fall down?"
It kinda goes downhill from here, I'm afraid.
Matty decided this would be an opportune time to declare his undying love for his girlfriend, present her with the ring he made and ask for her hand in marriage.
A. He loses major man points for all the blubbering.
B. If you turned off the video you would think that you were listening to a porn video
Matty: "Ohhh, baby I just want to be with you forever!"
Matty's gf: "Ohh, yes, baby, yes!!!!"
Matty: (moaning noises)
Matty's gf: "Ohh, baby!"
This, too, goes downhill from here.
After the family and significant others left, and CBS had Matty's part of the camp washed off, we were back to the game.
Bob took Corinne aside and concocted a plan where he would start a rumor that Marcus palmed the idol that everyone assumed was thrown away weeks before. He would then make another fake idol and flash it around. The final objective was to get people to blindside Matty.
Corinne: "Good plan! Awesome plan!" Hmm...where have I heard her say that before...Oh yes. Last week. We'll see if it turns out any better.
Immunity challenge was a trivia contest. Each correctly answered question resulted in winning a ball that would later be tossed from a deck to a circular target below. Closest ball to the center won immunity.
Sugar was the best at the trivia, answering all the questions correctly. This did her no good however as she was still fairly incompetent at anything physical. Bob fairly easily won the challenge.
Back to camp to implement the master plan!
Corinne spun Bob's plan out to Kenny and he appeared to buy it hook, line and sinker.
Corinne: "This plan is a long shot, but it would be awesome if it works!" I'm sorry, but that's not a good basis for a plan.
She followed it up with "I can't believe it's working! This shows you the incompetence we're dealing with."
My wife noted: "I think the level of incompetence was shown when you had your entire team voted off from under you."
Bob showed his new fake idol to Crystal who also was excited to be part of the plan. She and Kenny made one good decision...hedge their bets. Enough votes to remove Corinne, and if she had the idol, enough to blindside Matty.
Crystal: "The mental part of this game is kicking my ass."
My daughter added: "Which part of this game isn't?" Well said.
I'm getting really tired of seeing that smug look on Crystal's face. If she wins this game I'm going to be physically ill.
The vote went in, and Corinne went out. Her punishment was that she would now have to room with Randy for the remainder of the show.
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Survivorfest week 9!
Randy makes a graceful exit from Nobag!
Back from council, the non-power play portion of the Nobag tribe wanted to know why they voted off Charlie. The reply: "He was the biggest of the big threat! Charlie? "...And a good sport!" The bastard. No wonder they voted him off.
Bob took Sugar aside and fessed up that he hadn't found the idol and that he had decided to make one of his own. Why to people keep doing that? Is there something about being segregated on a remote land with too little food that makes people want to blab about everything?
Time for a Survivor auction. Each contestant was given $500 to bid on items. Evidently what they don't spend they get to keep, since Corinne said "Nothing tastes better than $500...except a million dollars!" It's hard to argue with that.
Randy won the first item. A bowl of peanuts and three cold beers for $150. I'm not sure what the going rate in Gabon is, but I've been in a few pubs where that is a true bargain.
Kenny spent $340 on a mystery item, which was a trip to Exile Island for someone of his choice, and he got to keep their money. He chose Bob and sent him away. He had the option to send himself, ostensibly to look for the hidden idol. Hint, hint, Randy.
Sugar bought another mystery item and was rewarded with chocolate and peanut butter.
Susie won a hot bath and clean clothes. Oddly she spent all of five minutes in the bath before getting out. I guess it is kinda weird to bathe in public in front of a bunch of other people. I know I don't care for it.
Randy jokingly offered $100 to bathe her. I think Susie was willing to pay $300 to have him not do it. I'll chip in $300 just because that isn't the kind of image I want to take to bed with me tonight.
Matty bought a cheeseburger and fries.
Corinne bought a mystery item that she was to open at the immunity challenge. More on this later.
Randy won a mystery item that turned out to be spaghetti and wine. He's going to be stuffed and drunk.
Randy bought the last mystery item. Turned out to be a tray of cookies that he had to share with the tribe. His first question, of course, was "Can I keep 'em all for myself?" No, Randy.
He offered them to each individual and everyone grudgingly took one except Sugar. When he asked her again, she took the last one and gave it away. That didn't sit too well with Randy.
"Sugar! She can kiss my ass!" Again, not an image I want to take to bed.
Randy decided to take the high road at this point "I'm gonna burn the house down!"
Sugar: "I've never seen a grown man get so mad over a chocolate chip cookie." Well, she clearly needs to get out more. I have it on the best authority that it was a missing chocolate cookie that led to Stalin's Great Purge.
Randy didn't appreciate that everyone wasn't falling all over themselves at his forced generosity: "I was treated like a dog!" I'm pretty sure Stalin said the same thing...right before the hangings.
Bob, back at Exile, decided to take another shot at finding the idol rather than choosing comfort. He was disappointed to find that he got nothing more than the second clue that he had already found. He spent the rest of his Exile trip wandering the savannah aimlessly.
My wife suspected that he would be rewarded by getting eaten by a tiger or something.
Randy has settled on a new plan: He's going to act like a total ass and make everyone's life miserable. Wait, I thought that was the old plan.
Ah, phase two of "Operation Strong Arm" would be to hope that Bob will return from Exile Island with the hidden idol. And then Randy will persuade Bob to give him the idol.
Corrine: "That's a great plan!" You've gotta be kidding me. I thought last season's grand strategy to have Eric give up immunity "as a show of faith" was a bad idea, but at least that had a minusule chance of succeeding.
Randy to Matty: "You've been whoring yourself out!" At this point Randy was bouncing around like an angry drunk on a bender.
Randy's plan seemed to be working. Crystal "He is wreaking havoc in the Nobag tribe!" Try to say that out loud without giggling. I dare you.
The immunity challenge is an obstacle course. The first two to complete the course would get to compete in the second phase of the challenge.
Corrine opened the prize she won at auction and was rewarded with a free pass for the first part of the challenge.
Kenny and Matty took an early lead and never looked back. Crystal and Sugar, predictably, sucked. Both spent more time falling off of the balance beam than a drunk gymnast. I'm not sure what happened to Randy. I don't even remember seeing him in this challenge. Maybe he was THAT sure of this great plan.
Matty, Corrine and Kenny squared off for the second phase of the challenge. Each contestant would stack their puzzle pieces like dominos while navigating a system of trip wires designed to knock over the puzzle pieces. The first to set up all the pieces and successfully knock them all over in order would win.
Kenny moved through the wires like a spider monkey, although he did lose some time when he knocked some of his puzzle down. All three finished their puzzles and set them off at the same time. Only Kenny's completed, winning him the challenge and immunity.
Back at camp, Randy shared the results of his rampage "I'm 75% sure that I need the idol". I think it's more like 175%, champ.
Sugar took Bob aside and talked him into giving Randy the fake idol. It's kind of funny since I think only Randy and Corinne seemed to be unaware that Sugar had it.
Corinne caught up with Bob, as well. "You found the idol, right? You should give it to Randy!"
Bob casually flipped out his fake idol when he and Randy were alone in the hut. He was all like "oh yeah, I got this little old thing."
Randy was able to talk him into handing over the "idol".
Really, Randy...you didn't pause for a moment to wonder why Kenny decided not to send himself to Exile Island and instead picked Bob, someone who wasn't even in his power play?
Randy was so pleased to get it that he told Bob that he'd make sure to vote for him if he ended up on the jury. "The hit is on Susie!!" He was so happy he was practically quaking.
At tribal council, Probst made sure to bring up the cookie incident.
Susie indicated that she felt sorry for Randy because he was clearly mentally disturbed. Randy thought that being felt sorry for was just another way of saying "you're pathetic."
Sugar let it all out while she was voting for Randy. "You are a dysfunctional, idiot-brained, bigot who deserves a slow death of creeping rot." Or something like that.
Randy on voting for Susie "This isn't strategic...this is strictly personal."
Whereas most people whisper their little comments, Crystal actually screamed hers. "I hate you, Randy, die, die, die!!!"
Probst asked if anyone had immunity and Randy pulled out the fake idol.
He probably should have known something was up by the way half the tribe was guffawing. Crystal definitely does not have what you'd call a "poker face".
Probst disdainfully declared that the idol was fake and tossed it into the fire, much to the horror of Randy and Corinne and the 8,000 people who would have bid on it after the end of the season on eBay.
Marcus and Charlie were laughing it up on the jury bench, but I think the last laugh was on them. They'd have to be hanging around with a really pissed off Randy at Survivor lodge for the next few weeks.
One last note about Randy. I found it interesting that the one act in the game that he seemed honestly happy and humble about was in receiving the fake idol. I'm pretty sure that's not going to turn around his sour personality any time soon.
My wife declared this was her favorite single episode of Survivor. I think that's mostly because she doesn't like Randy.
Next week, Bob indicates that the late, great Marcus might have palmed the hidden immunity idol that they chucked out to sea and hidden it somewhere around camp.
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Back from council, the non-power play portion of the Nobag tribe wanted to know why they voted off Charlie. The reply: "He was the biggest of the big threat! Charlie? "...And a good sport!" The bastard. No wonder they voted him off.
Bob took Sugar aside and fessed up that he hadn't found the idol and that he had decided to make one of his own. Why to people keep doing that? Is there something about being segregated on a remote land with too little food that makes people want to blab about everything?
Time for a Survivor auction. Each contestant was given $500 to bid on items. Evidently what they don't spend they get to keep, since Corinne said "Nothing tastes better than $500...except a million dollars!" It's hard to argue with that.
Randy won the first item. A bowl of peanuts and three cold beers for $150. I'm not sure what the going rate in Gabon is, but I've been in a few pubs where that is a true bargain.
Kenny spent $340 on a mystery item, which was a trip to Exile Island for someone of his choice, and he got to keep their money. He chose Bob and sent him away. He had the option to send himself, ostensibly to look for the hidden idol. Hint, hint, Randy.
Sugar bought another mystery item and was rewarded with chocolate and peanut butter.
Susie won a hot bath and clean clothes. Oddly she spent all of five minutes in the bath before getting out. I guess it is kinda weird to bathe in public in front of a bunch of other people. I know I don't care for it.
Randy jokingly offered $100 to bathe her. I think Susie was willing to pay $300 to have him not do it. I'll chip in $300 just because that isn't the kind of image I want to take to bed with me tonight.
Matty bought a cheeseburger and fries.
Corinne bought a mystery item that she was to open at the immunity challenge. More on this later.
Randy won a mystery item that turned out to be spaghetti and wine. He's going to be stuffed and drunk.
Randy bought the last mystery item. Turned out to be a tray of cookies that he had to share with the tribe. His first question, of course, was "Can I keep 'em all for myself?" No, Randy.
He offered them to each individual and everyone grudgingly took one except Sugar. When he asked her again, she took the last one and gave it away. That didn't sit too well with Randy.
"Sugar! She can kiss my ass!" Again, not an image I want to take to bed.
Randy decided to take the high road at this point "I'm gonna burn the house down!"
Sugar: "I've never seen a grown man get so mad over a chocolate chip cookie." Well, she clearly needs to get out more. I have it on the best authority that it was a missing chocolate cookie that led to Stalin's Great Purge.
Randy didn't appreciate that everyone wasn't falling all over themselves at his forced generosity: "I was treated like a dog!" I'm pretty sure Stalin said the same thing...right before the hangings.
Bob, back at Exile, decided to take another shot at finding the idol rather than choosing comfort. He was disappointed to find that he got nothing more than the second clue that he had already found. He spent the rest of his Exile trip wandering the savannah aimlessly.
My wife suspected that he would be rewarded by getting eaten by a tiger or something.
Randy has settled on a new plan: He's going to act like a total ass and make everyone's life miserable. Wait, I thought that was the old plan.
Ah, phase two of "Operation Strong Arm" would be to hope that Bob will return from Exile Island with the hidden idol. And then Randy will persuade Bob to give him the idol.
Corrine: "That's a great plan!" You've gotta be kidding me. I thought last season's grand strategy to have Eric give up immunity "as a show of faith" was a bad idea, but at least that had a minusule chance of succeeding.
Randy to Matty: "You've been whoring yourself out!" At this point Randy was bouncing around like an angry drunk on a bender.
Randy's plan seemed to be working. Crystal "He is wreaking havoc in the Nobag tribe!" Try to say that out loud without giggling. I dare you.
The immunity challenge is an obstacle course. The first two to complete the course would get to compete in the second phase of the challenge.
Corrine opened the prize she won at auction and was rewarded with a free pass for the first part of the challenge.
Kenny and Matty took an early lead and never looked back. Crystal and Sugar, predictably, sucked. Both spent more time falling off of the balance beam than a drunk gymnast. I'm not sure what happened to Randy. I don't even remember seeing him in this challenge. Maybe he was THAT sure of this great plan.
Matty, Corrine and Kenny squared off for the second phase of the challenge. Each contestant would stack their puzzle pieces like dominos while navigating a system of trip wires designed to knock over the puzzle pieces. The first to set up all the pieces and successfully knock them all over in order would win.
Kenny moved through the wires like a spider monkey, although he did lose some time when he knocked some of his puzzle down. All three finished their puzzles and set them off at the same time. Only Kenny's completed, winning him the challenge and immunity.
Back at camp, Randy shared the results of his rampage "I'm 75% sure that I need the idol". I think it's more like 175%, champ.
Sugar took Bob aside and talked him into giving Randy the fake idol. It's kind of funny since I think only Randy and Corinne seemed to be unaware that Sugar had it.
Corinne caught up with Bob, as well. "You found the idol, right? You should give it to Randy!"
Bob casually flipped out his fake idol when he and Randy were alone in the hut. He was all like "oh yeah, I got this little old thing."
Randy was able to talk him into handing over the "idol".
Really, Randy...you didn't pause for a moment to wonder why Kenny decided not to send himself to Exile Island and instead picked Bob, someone who wasn't even in his power play?
Randy was so pleased to get it that he told Bob that he'd make sure to vote for him if he ended up on the jury. "The hit is on Susie!!" He was so happy he was practically quaking.
At tribal council, Probst made sure to bring up the cookie incident.
Susie indicated that she felt sorry for Randy because he was clearly mentally disturbed. Randy thought that being felt sorry for was just another way of saying "you're pathetic."
Sugar let it all out while she was voting for Randy. "You are a dysfunctional, idiot-brained, bigot who deserves a slow death of creeping rot." Or something like that.
Randy on voting for Susie "This isn't strategic...this is strictly personal."
Whereas most people whisper their little comments, Crystal actually screamed hers. "I hate you, Randy, die, die, die!!!"
Probst asked if anyone had immunity and Randy pulled out the fake idol.
He probably should have known something was up by the way half the tribe was guffawing. Crystal definitely does not have what you'd call a "poker face".
Probst disdainfully declared that the idol was fake and tossed it into the fire, much to the horror of Randy and Corinne and the 8,000 people who would have bid on it after the end of the season on eBay.
Marcus and Charlie were laughing it up on the jury bench, but I think the last laugh was on them. They'd have to be hanging around with a really pissed off Randy at Survivor lodge for the next few weeks.
One last note about Randy. I found it interesting that the one act in the game that he seemed honestly happy and humble about was in receiving the fake idol. I'm pretty sure that's not going to turn around his sour personality any time soon.
My wife declared this was her favorite single episode of Survivor. I think that's mostly because she doesn't like Randy.
Next week, Bob indicates that the late, great Marcus might have palmed the hidden immunity idol that they chucked out to sea and hidden it somewhere around camp.
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Week 8 results!
Charlie makes the third blindside in a row!
This episode started with a rehash of Randy's general hatred toward humanity, particularly Crystal.
Kenny was gloating over his role in blind-siding Marcus: "The Crystal in me came out!" Good, then maybe you guys will win a challenge now.
Bob, who wasn't in on the blindside, knows he's in deep if his tribe goes to council again soon. With Kenny, Crystal, Susie and Corinne on his side, he'd better get busy.
Bob: "It looks like I'm history...even though I teach science. That's a little joke." I'll make the snarky comments here, Bob.
As an aside, I really hate it when people pronounce "from the get go" as "from the gecko". It makes me think of a Geico commercial.
At the reward challenge, the other tribe was shocked to find that Marcus had been voted off. Charlie and Corinne were absolutely distraught. Matty was grinning like an idiot.
The tribe started arguing over the relative merits of voting Marcus off. They claimed he "didn't deserve it". Susie: "we all deserve it!" Some of you more than others, Susie.
The reward challenge was a game of Survivor golf using large slingshots and over-sized balls. Insert your own Randy joke here.
I must say, that the "drives" by the players were straighter than mine usually are.
Kota won the first round.
Fang tied it up in the second round with a great second shot that landed just short of the hole.
Third round and Fang dropped the ball right next to the hole, forcing Kenny to hit a 30 foot "putt" to have a chance. He didn't make it and Randy, Matty and Charlie lined up for a "gimme" putt.
At this point Randy and Matty had an argument about the way to approach the shot. Matty actually "shushed" Randy, which didn't go over too well. Charlie tried to be a peacemaker, but the other two were too headstrong. Eventually Randy relented and let Matty take the shot his way, which he dropped in for the win.
Randy's got to be a joy to go golfing with. I'm certain he'd fume after every slice and taunt you at every turn. I would like to see a reality TV show where we spends a season as Tiger Woods' caddy.
The tribe chose Bob to go to Exile in the hopes that he would find the hidden idol.
For reward, the tribe got to go to a Gabonese town and enjoy a feast with dancing.
And, evidently, ritual bathing. Corinne: " They started beating us with leaves and stripping off our clothes" Just like every other Saturday night back home, huh, Corinne?
Charlie was still distraught over losing Marcus: "We were really good friends...who will do our thinking for us?" Sounds like a line from Casablanca.
The dancing at the feast seemed to be typical native stuff...Electric Slide, Macarena and the Hustle.
Randy: "I think one of 'em liked me. I haven't had a woman come on to me in twenty years!" Here's hoping for twenty more, Randy!
Matty danced like a drunken frat boy.
I was laughing to myself about the garb they dressed the tribe in. It looked like fancy hula skirts. At this point my oldest said "I wonder if they get to keep those outfits..." Good taste in clothes must skip a generation. I'll let you decide which generation it skipped.
Back at camp, Kenny managed to maroon himself in the middle of the lagoon in a canoe. I think he was reminiscing about his time in the challenge with the boats and the water polo game. Spinning in a circle.
He eventually got back to the shore with his fish. He was pretty happy with the situation: "I'm the only man at Kota with two very beautiful women!" Eesh. I'm not sure if he was being charitable or if he has vision problems. How long do you need to spend in the jungle before you look at Susie and say "oooooh, yeah. I need me a piece of that!"
He further indicated: If people want to take me out, I'll take them out!" He's such a gangsta.
At Exile, Bob searched for the idol. Eventually he found the hiding spot and determined that Sugar had found it before him. He took a page out of Yau-Man and Ozzie's book and made an idol of his own.
Actually, it looked really good. Better than Ozzie's Mr. Stick man, anyway.
Those of you who missed tonight's episode were spared the site of Bob wading through the river in bicycle shorts. There are some things you can't un-see.
At the immunity challenge, Probst announced that the tribe would now merge and that the challenge would be fire-starting for individual immunity.
Randy opined: "Crystal couldn't start a fire with a book of matches and a gallon of gasoline." He's like a Survivor Hall of Fame quote machine!
He also has several pet nicknames for Crystal: Sasquatch and T-Rex. It wouldn't surprise me if the two of them got married after this season. You heard it here first.
Surprisingly, Susie was the first to make flame.
Matty hacked himself. Should be interesting to see if that festers.
Sugar made flame next.
No one else even got a fire started. Susie burned through her rope first to win immunity!
Somewhere, Yau-Man watched Bob fail to make fire, swore and turned off his TV in disgust.
Back at the combined camp, the tribe found ample food and the tribe started to work out their strategies.
Randy to Charlie: "Have you heard anything about anything?"
Sugar was, once again, the big swing vote. Both factions worked her over for her vote.
Turns out that Kenny harbored a grudge against Charlie for screwing with the clue he found at last week's feast. Evidently Charlie blurted out the clue Kenny had, which led to Randy finding the idol and Marcus getting everyone to toss it out to sea.
He spread a rumor that Charlie was, in fact, the brains behind the operation and was pulling the strings. Surprisingly, everyone believed him.
Kenny: "I'm like a rat, chewing in the corner...chchchchchhch!" Indeed.
The tribe was responsible for coming up with a new tribe name and a flag. I think I would hate this. It's like some weird team-building event at work.
They settled on Nobag, which is Gabon backwards. And sounds kinda dirty. For what it's worth, the President of Gabon spelled backwards is Ognob. Also sounds slightly dirty.
At tribal council Probst did his best to restart the fight between Randy and Matty. When that didn't work, he stirred up Randy and Crystal.
Crystal went a little diva on us and started referring to herself in the third person. I think that really drove Randy into a tizzy and he told her off, blaming her for all the tribe losses up to that point. He wasn't far from wrong, I think.
During the voting, Randy wrote down Crystal as "C.C." Jeff would later make him validate his vote, since he wasn't clear. This is an interesting point, because, in theory, he could have made something up and changed his vote after seeing other votes. Something to remember in case you make the game some day.
When Randy wrote down her name he uttered "Bitch!" I knew who he meant.
Sugar was already crying. She hadn't even cast her vote yet!
Charlie wrote down Crystal's name: You took out Marcus and now I'll scratch your eyes out, bitch!" Okay, I made that up.
Charlie was blindsided in a close vote over Crystal. Marcus was not pleased. Possibly because that meant that he and Charlie would be attached at the hip at the resort for the next several weeks. "Time for another massage, Marcus?" "Isn't the merlot simply divine?" "Does this hula skirt make my ass look big?"
Frankly I think Charlie knew something was up and wrote his own name down.
Points awarded tonight were for Susie winning individual immunity and Charlie for going to the jury.
Next week, Randy and Crystal are back at it!
This episode started with a rehash of Randy's general hatred toward humanity, particularly Crystal.
Kenny was gloating over his role in blind-siding Marcus: "The Crystal in me came out!" Good, then maybe you guys will win a challenge now.
Bob, who wasn't in on the blindside, knows he's in deep if his tribe goes to council again soon. With Kenny, Crystal, Susie and Corinne on his side, he'd better get busy.
Bob: "It looks like I'm history...even though I teach science. That's a little joke." I'll make the snarky comments here, Bob.
As an aside, I really hate it when people pronounce "from the get go" as "from the gecko". It makes me think of a Geico commercial.
At the reward challenge, the other tribe was shocked to find that Marcus had been voted off. Charlie and Corinne were absolutely distraught. Matty was grinning like an idiot.
The tribe started arguing over the relative merits of voting Marcus off. They claimed he "didn't deserve it". Susie: "we all deserve it!" Some of you more than others, Susie.
The reward challenge was a game of Survivor golf using large slingshots and over-sized balls. Insert your own Randy joke here.
I must say, that the "drives" by the players were straighter than mine usually are.
Kota won the first round.
Fang tied it up in the second round with a great second shot that landed just short of the hole.
Third round and Fang dropped the ball right next to the hole, forcing Kenny to hit a 30 foot "putt" to have a chance. He didn't make it and Randy, Matty and Charlie lined up for a "gimme" putt.
At this point Randy and Matty had an argument about the way to approach the shot. Matty actually "shushed" Randy, which didn't go over too well. Charlie tried to be a peacemaker, but the other two were too headstrong. Eventually Randy relented and let Matty take the shot his way, which he dropped in for the win.
Randy's got to be a joy to go golfing with. I'm certain he'd fume after every slice and taunt you at every turn. I would like to see a reality TV show where we spends a season as Tiger Woods' caddy.
The tribe chose Bob to go to Exile in the hopes that he would find the hidden idol.
For reward, the tribe got to go to a Gabonese town and enjoy a feast with dancing.
And, evidently, ritual bathing. Corinne: " They started beating us with leaves and stripping off our clothes" Just like every other Saturday night back home, huh, Corinne?
Charlie was still distraught over losing Marcus: "We were really good friends...who will do our thinking for us?" Sounds like a line from Casablanca.
The dancing at the feast seemed to be typical native stuff...Electric Slide, Macarena and the Hustle.
Randy: "I think one of 'em liked me. I haven't had a woman come on to me in twenty years!" Here's hoping for twenty more, Randy!
Matty danced like a drunken frat boy.
I was laughing to myself about the garb they dressed the tribe in. It looked like fancy hula skirts. At this point my oldest said "I wonder if they get to keep those outfits..." Good taste in clothes must skip a generation. I'll let you decide which generation it skipped.
Back at camp, Kenny managed to maroon himself in the middle of the lagoon in a canoe. I think he was reminiscing about his time in the challenge with the boats and the water polo game. Spinning in a circle.
He eventually got back to the shore with his fish. He was pretty happy with the situation: "I'm the only man at Kota with two very beautiful women!" Eesh. I'm not sure if he was being charitable or if he has vision problems. How long do you need to spend in the jungle before you look at Susie and say "oooooh, yeah. I need me a piece of that!"
He further indicated: If people want to take me out, I'll take them out!" He's such a gangsta.
At Exile, Bob searched for the idol. Eventually he found the hiding spot and determined that Sugar had found it before him. He took a page out of Yau-Man and Ozzie's book and made an idol of his own.
Actually, it looked really good. Better than Ozzie's Mr. Stick man, anyway.
Those of you who missed tonight's episode were spared the site of Bob wading through the river in bicycle shorts. There are some things you can't un-see.
At the immunity challenge, Probst announced that the tribe would now merge and that the challenge would be fire-starting for individual immunity.
Randy opined: "Crystal couldn't start a fire with a book of matches and a gallon of gasoline." He's like a Survivor Hall of Fame quote machine!
He also has several pet nicknames for Crystal: Sasquatch and T-Rex. It wouldn't surprise me if the two of them got married after this season. You heard it here first.
Surprisingly, Susie was the first to make flame.
Matty hacked himself. Should be interesting to see if that festers.
Sugar made flame next.
No one else even got a fire started. Susie burned through her rope first to win immunity!
Somewhere, Yau-Man watched Bob fail to make fire, swore and turned off his TV in disgust.
Back at the combined camp, the tribe found ample food and the tribe started to work out their strategies.
Randy to Charlie: "Have you heard anything about anything?"
Sugar was, once again, the big swing vote. Both factions worked her over for her vote.
Turns out that Kenny harbored a grudge against Charlie for screwing with the clue he found at last week's feast. Evidently Charlie blurted out the clue Kenny had, which led to Randy finding the idol and Marcus getting everyone to toss it out to sea.
He spread a rumor that Charlie was, in fact, the brains behind the operation and was pulling the strings. Surprisingly, everyone believed him.
Kenny: "I'm like a rat, chewing in the corner...chchchchchhch!" Indeed.
The tribe was responsible for coming up with a new tribe name and a flag. I think I would hate this. It's like some weird team-building event at work.
They settled on Nobag, which is Gabon backwards. And sounds kinda dirty. For what it's worth, the President of Gabon spelled backwards is Ognob. Also sounds slightly dirty.
At tribal council Probst did his best to restart the fight between Randy and Matty. When that didn't work, he stirred up Randy and Crystal.
Crystal went a little diva on us and started referring to herself in the third person. I think that really drove Randy into a tizzy and he told her off, blaming her for all the tribe losses up to that point. He wasn't far from wrong, I think.
During the voting, Randy wrote down Crystal as "C.C." Jeff would later make him validate his vote, since he wasn't clear. This is an interesting point, because, in theory, he could have made something up and changed his vote after seeing other votes. Something to remember in case you make the game some day.
When Randy wrote down her name he uttered "Bitch!" I knew who he meant.
Sugar was already crying. She hadn't even cast her vote yet!
Charlie wrote down Crystal's name: You took out Marcus and now I'll scratch your eyes out, bitch!" Okay, I made that up.
Charlie was blindsided in a close vote over Crystal. Marcus was not pleased. Possibly because that meant that he and Charlie would be attached at the hip at the resort for the next several weeks. "Time for another massage, Marcus?" "Isn't the merlot simply divine?" "Does this hula skirt make my ass look big?"
Frankly I think Charlie knew something was up and wrote his own name down.
Points awarded tonight were for Susie winning individual immunity and Charlie for going to the jury.
Next week, Randy and Crystal are back at it!
Sunday, November 09, 2008
Survivorfest week 7!
Marcus runs afoul of a tribe reorg!
First things first. Due to a DVR problem I missed the first 15 minutes or so of this week's episode, so I'm a little confused about the start.
The replay of the episode on the CBS site started with both tribes together at a feast where an individual immunity was hidden. Randy predicted he would find it in about twenty seconds, and it turned out he was right. At that point, Randy offered up the immunity to anyone who wanted it. Strangely no one took it.
I assume this is because they assumed that the tribes were now merged and anyone taking the offered immunity would be putting a large bulls eye on their back.
As it was, no one took immunity and Randy and Marcus tossed it into the ocean.
Unless someone can make a compelling argument against it, I will award Randy points for discovering hidden immunity even though he ended up throwing it away. Let me know before this week's show if you have a counter-argument for consideration.
Randy was feeling rather full of himself: "With all due respect to President Bongo, I am the king of Gabon!"
You may find it strange to learn that there is, indeed, a President Bongo. His first name is Omar. I would have been very happy to have learned that it was Ongo, but you can't have everything.
President Bongo is currently the longest running leader of a country, excluding monarchies. So there.
As an aside, why is it that whenever someone says "with all due respect" they always follow it with something less than respectful?
After discarding the idol, the group reconvened to read their next instructions. Counter to expectations, they did not merge as a tribe. In fact they chose stones that would determine which tribe they would reunite as.
I'm glad this game has no rules surrounding performance of tribes, because there's no way to catch up with all the changes this season. I have no idea at this point who is on Kota and who is on Fang.
Randy offered: "Susie is crazy and stupid and that's a bad combination." Hmm. That's hard to argue with.
Susie, had other thoughts: "I might swing with Kenny and Crystal..." I didn't realize it was that kind of an island.
Marcus professed that he didn't need the immunity idol, because of his strong alliances. I can understand not wanting to take an offered idol and mark yourself, but I can't see not needing an idol...
Back at the new Kota (I think), the tribe made acquaintances using the age-old Gabon tradition of fist-bumping. Watching Bob fist-bump Crystal may have sent race relations back two hundred years.
Somehow Charlie managed to keep his chipper attitude, even though he was separated from his BFF Marcus.
Sugar found out from Matty that Ace had not intended to cross her the previous week, and that she'd been duped. She and Matty declared an alliance at that point. Matty should be concerned.
Randy wondered aloud if they should attempt to throw the next challenge and vote off Matty. There's precedent for this, of course...the great Billy vote off of Cook Island. But that was early in the season. It seems a little late to be playing cute games like that.
The challenge is an endurance challenge, where the contestants hold up two unsupported poles, one in each hand. The last tribe to have a member holding the poles would avoid tribal council.
Unsurprisingly, Crystal was done after approximately one nanosecond. Honestly, has there ever been a Survivor more inept at challenges than Crystal with the possible exception of Chet from last season? And Chet didn't have the background of being an Olympic frickin' athlete. How has this woman not been voted off yet?
Sugar was out next, followed by Susie. No surprises there.
Corinne and Randy went out simultaneously. Matty appeared to be zoned out in some sort of Zen happy place.
Kenny lasted longer than I would have expected. Marcus was out next.
Charlie dropped out. Bob and Matty were the only ones left. Matty started working the mental angle "ain't no shame, Bobby boy!"
Probst seemed interested at this point and cautioned Bob not to listen to anyone else, even him.
Marcus tried trash-talking with Matty to distract him. Matty played along and came perilously close to losing his grip. Eventually Matty outlasted Bob, to bring a much-needed win for his tribe.
My wife found it humorous that the tribe had poor Bob carry the flag back to camp. Poor slob must've had his arms stretched down to his ankles.
Back at camp, the lobbying started...when Kenny found out he might be on the outs with the rest of the tribe, he seemed ready to cry. Absolutely devastated.
But, alas, the threat of Marcus reuniting with his previous alliance was too much of a concern and they voted him off, making him the first member of the jury.
Next week, all eyes are on Kenny as he makes his move!
See you on the next....Survivorfest!
First things first. Due to a DVR problem I missed the first 15 minutes or so of this week's episode, so I'm a little confused about the start.
The replay of the episode on the CBS site started with both tribes together at a feast where an individual immunity was hidden. Randy predicted he would find it in about twenty seconds, and it turned out he was right. At that point, Randy offered up the immunity to anyone who wanted it. Strangely no one took it.
I assume this is because they assumed that the tribes were now merged and anyone taking the offered immunity would be putting a large bulls eye on their back.
As it was, no one took immunity and Randy and Marcus tossed it into the ocean.
Unless someone can make a compelling argument against it, I will award Randy points for discovering hidden immunity even though he ended up throwing it away. Let me know before this week's show if you have a counter-argument for consideration.
Randy was feeling rather full of himself: "With all due respect to President Bongo, I am the king of Gabon!"
You may find it strange to learn that there is, indeed, a President Bongo. His first name is Omar. I would have been very happy to have learned that it was Ongo, but you can't have everything.
President Bongo is currently the longest running leader of a country, excluding monarchies. So there.
As an aside, why is it that whenever someone says "with all due respect" they always follow it with something less than respectful?
After discarding the idol, the group reconvened to read their next instructions. Counter to expectations, they did not merge as a tribe. In fact they chose stones that would determine which tribe they would reunite as.
I'm glad this game has no rules surrounding performance of tribes, because there's no way to catch up with all the changes this season. I have no idea at this point who is on Kota and who is on Fang.
Randy offered: "Susie is crazy and stupid and that's a bad combination." Hmm. That's hard to argue with.
Susie, had other thoughts: "I might swing with Kenny and Crystal..." I didn't realize it was that kind of an island.
Marcus professed that he didn't need the immunity idol, because of his strong alliances. I can understand not wanting to take an offered idol and mark yourself, but I can't see not needing an idol...
Back at the new Kota (I think), the tribe made acquaintances using the age-old Gabon tradition of fist-bumping. Watching Bob fist-bump Crystal may have sent race relations back two hundred years.
Somehow Charlie managed to keep his chipper attitude, even though he was separated from his BFF Marcus.
Sugar found out from Matty that Ace had not intended to cross her the previous week, and that she'd been duped. She and Matty declared an alliance at that point. Matty should be concerned.
Randy wondered aloud if they should attempt to throw the next challenge and vote off Matty. There's precedent for this, of course...the great Billy vote off of Cook Island. But that was early in the season. It seems a little late to be playing cute games like that.
The challenge is an endurance challenge, where the contestants hold up two unsupported poles, one in each hand. The last tribe to have a member holding the poles would avoid tribal council.
Unsurprisingly, Crystal was done after approximately one nanosecond. Honestly, has there ever been a Survivor more inept at challenges than Crystal with the possible exception of Chet from last season? And Chet didn't have the background of being an Olympic frickin' athlete. How has this woman not been voted off yet?
Sugar was out next, followed by Susie. No surprises there.
Corinne and Randy went out simultaneously. Matty appeared to be zoned out in some sort of Zen happy place.
Kenny lasted longer than I would have expected. Marcus was out next.
Charlie dropped out. Bob and Matty were the only ones left. Matty started working the mental angle "ain't no shame, Bobby boy!"
Probst seemed interested at this point and cautioned Bob not to listen to anyone else, even him.
Marcus tried trash-talking with Matty to distract him. Matty played along and came perilously close to losing his grip. Eventually Matty outlasted Bob, to bring a much-needed win for his tribe.
My wife found it humorous that the tribe had poor Bob carry the flag back to camp. Poor slob must've had his arms stretched down to his ankles.
Back at camp, the lobbying started...when Kenny found out he might be on the outs with the rest of the tribe, he seemed ready to cry. Absolutely devastated.
But, alas, the threat of Marcus reuniting with his previous alliance was too much of a concern and they voted him off, making him the first member of the jury.
Next week, all eyes are on Kenny as he makes his move!
See you on the next....Survivorfest!
Friday, October 31, 2008
Survivorfest week 6
Holy double blindside, Batman! Ace and Dan are both out of the game!
During the recap section, Probst indicated that Ace's biggest enemy, Kellie, had been voted off. Really? Someone famous once said that a measure of a man can be judged by his enemies. I don't think that bodes well for Ace if Kellie is the best enemy he can come up with. I guess with a tribe like Fang, who needs enemas...er, enemies?
Speaking of Fang's ineptitude, Crystal's big contribution for the week was spilling two days worth of rice on the ground. This left them with about five days worth of rations. With Fang's continuing failure at rewards, CBS will need to merge the tribes shortly or risk losing a couple of people to starvation. Or cannibalism.
As a penance, Crystal abstained from eating a meal. Great, all she needed was another excuse to stink up a challenge.
At Kota, things were a little more laughs and giggles. Corinne related that her mom told her not to curse so much or people would think she's trashy. I don't think Corinne's mom reckoned with Michelle being part of the cast this year.
Dan evidently felt left out of the power faction of the tribe and moped around wishing they would include him more. It led Corinne to wonder if he was a "former fatty" that craved attention and inclusion. Either way, it doesn't look promising for Dan. Just sort of needy and pathetic.
The reward challenge was a game of keep away with a breakable ball. Three members of a tribe pass the basketball-sized ball, while a member of the other tribe would attempt to get them to drop the ball and break it. Each broken ball is a point, first team to three points wins.
For Kota, Corinne and Charlie sat out this challenge.
Randy won the first point for Kota almost immediately. He threw himself at the first person with the ball and that was pretty much that. I'm not sure the camera crew even had time to capture it.
Naturally Randy began his typical grunting and posturing: "It's over!" Turns out, he wasn't wrong.
Sugar groused "Randy is just an ugly person!"
In the second match-up, Sugar spent most of her time chasing the ball in a silly fashion. It looked more like flirting. It was so bad that Matty, who was playing keep away in the other match, stopped to yell at her to step things up. Eventually Fang ran out of luck and they lost their second point.
In the third match, Kota managed to take advantage of the ever-awful Ace to Sugar connection and completed the sweep.
Kota's reward was a luxury chopper ride to the savannah where the tribe enjoyed a wonderful picnic meal.
Turns out Bob is a romantic "The only thing beating faster than the rotors was the beating of my heart!"
Randy was...less so: "The best part of this reward is that they don't get any! They might even be completely out of rice!" How is this man not a high school guidance councilor? I can see how he'd be great to have at weddings: "You smeared her with cake?!? It's over!! It's over!! He'll be hitting on one of the bridesmaids by the end of the reception!"
After the picnic, Kota received letters from home. I'm curious to know who wrote Randy's letter. Was it from his dead dog? Maybe it was from CBS: Dear Randy, keep up the good work! Ratings show that you are now the third most despised Survivor in CBS history."
Bob completely broke down and turned into a blubbering idiot. You'd think that he just watched someone shoot a dozen puppies. The man was howling for gosh sakes!
For Fang, Sugar was sent back to Exile Island. Jeff indicated that it was unprecedented that she be sent there back-to-back-to-back...you get the point.
Back at camp Fang, the tribe had pretty well exhausted their bodies and spirits. Matty, who looks about two more days away from going "Lord of the Flies" was really unhappy with Sugar.
He's was pretty well pissed with everything, actually: "Kota in their goofy chopper, lavishing in their reward...It's maddening!"
He followed with "I don't think in my twenty-nine years of life I've ever been so embarrassed." Well, Matty, the good news is you're still young. You still have things like teenage kids, erectile dysfunction and incontinence to look forward to.
Matty took Ace on a boat ride to try to get him to vote the useless Sugar off. Ace wasn't having any, and stuck to his agreement to keep her around.
In the meantime, Crystal and Kenny took the subtle hint that they were being left out of the planning. They decided they needed to convince Sugar to align with them to blindside Ace.
At the reward challenge, Jeff indicated that both tribes would be heading to tribal council that evening. There would also be two individual immunity idols awarded, one for each tribe.
The challenge was a log roll. Players were matched into random pairs. First person to hit the water would be eliminated, the winner would advance to the next round.
Dan and Ace were paired first. Dan hit the water and Ace advanced.
Charlie and Crystal were next. I don't think Crystal even managed to make it onto the log before she was in the water. To me, it looked like Charlie even stood still to let her get on and try to get her balance.
Marcus and Matty. Close, but Matty fell and Marcus moved on.
Randy and Susie were next. Susie got wet.
Sugar and Kenny were paired. They were the two slowest. Both seemed content to sort of stand on the log, which might have been a good strategy. Kenny eventually fell off first.
Bob and Corinne were last. Bob indicated that he had won a log rolling competition in college. Corinne retorted "of course you did!" Bob showed off a little at first, whistling and putting his hands on his hips. Soon Corinne was in the drink.
Second round had Charlie and Ace. Charlie ended up hitting the water just slightly before Ace, to be eliminated.
Randy and Marcus faced off. Marcus advanced in a close match.
Sugar faced Bob, the log roller. Shockingly, she outlasted him. I guess slow and steady does win the race.
For the final, all three remaining contestants got on the log together. Ace was in the middle of Marcus and Sugar. I thought Ace was at a disadvantage since he couldn't see both of them, but he did well. Maybe just reacting to the shift of balance is the best way to go.
Sugar fell first, followed by Ace.
Marcus won immunity and two points for anyone who has him on their score sheet. He was required to pick the second immunity winner from the other tribe and selected Sugar.
The Suvivorfest score sheet indicates that two points will be awarded for each winner of individual immunity. Since Probst dictated that there would be two immunities awarded, Sugar will be given two points even though technically she was chosen to win, rather than actually winning by her own merit. I think there's a definable difference between this example and someone being given an idol to play or use.
Crystal: "Damn! She has two idols! She's the biggest player in the game!"
Kenny: "I will do anything in my power to get her to vote with me. She may be a pin-up girl, but she's very smart!"
Fang is truly a sucky tribe. Not only can they not win challenges, but one of the most feeble members (by perspective of her efforts during the challenges) was one of the best individual performers in the log rolling challenge and has two layers of immunity! Even their losers stink at being losers.
Ace tried to get Sugar to "lend" him the idol again, but she demurred. Kenny and Crystal appeared to be getting her to lean toward blindsiding her former Sugar-daddy.
At camp, Probst asked Sugar "it's been 21 days, what's going on at camp?" How the heck would she know? She's spent half of it at Exile Island eating fruit and sun-bathing!
Crystal was forced to rehash the rice dropping. Ace averred that "Crystal made a mistake...that's common." Even when he's trying to pass it off, he makes it sound like an insult. That's so cool.
Sugar indicated that everyone should put aside all the petty bullcrap and just try to get along. It's pretty easy to say that when you're well-fed and well-rested.
Matty is starting to look to me like Jack Nicholson at the end of "the Shining".
Ace learned the hard way that, while Sugar is sweet, too much can be bad for you. I'm surprised that Probst didn't drop that line. He'll probably kick himself after he reads this. As he left, he said "Thanks, Sugar." I must say, he took it like a man.
Crystal flashed him some type of gang symbols as he left. I think she used too many fingers.
Back at camp Kota, Dan is freaking out. He's clearly not getting a lot of face time with the power players and he isn't sure what to do besides follow Marcus around and whine.
Marcus: "Dan's a bumbling idiot."
Randy regarding Bob: "As annoying as he is, he's as loyal as the day is long."
Corinne went to recruit Susie to help them oust Dan. Susie then made approximately the sixth biggest mistake in Survivor history when she admitted that she was thinking of voting Corinne out that night before they had their little chat.
This sent Corinne over the edge: "This moron had decided it's time for me to go? I wanted to stab her in the face!" That's not technically trashy for those of you scoring at home. Corinne's mother must be so proud.
Randy, of course, had nothing but gasoline to throw on that fire and had Corinne so angry and worked up that I wondered if she might actually stab her in the face.
At council, Jeff asked Susie if she thought she was the weakest member of the tribe. Surprisingly, she said no. She thought Corinne was. Due to something odd about "upper body strength". She tried to recover, but the icy answers she got back from Corinne might as well have been a shiv to the face.
Dan was still wearing his lawyer tie to council. He clearly seemed uncomfortable with the thought of voting anyone off. Maybe he just isn't cut out for this game.
Dan was voted off in a close margin between him and Susie. I must admint I'm a little disappointed that I won't know whether Dan would have been wearing that silly tie all the way to the last tribal council. It would have looked great with his four-inch beard and crazy eyes.
I was surprised to see that Corinne had voted for Dan, but then it made sense. The tribe wasn't completely sure whether Dan had the hidden immunity idol since he spent the first few days on Exile Island as a member of Fang.
They voted in such a way that Dan would be removed if he didn't have or play the idol and, if he did, Susie would have been out.
I was amused to see that Susie looked pleased and relieved not to have been voted off. Don't get too comfortable, girl. If you survive the night, you may be enjoying a mojito at the resort soon.
Next week: I'm not sure what happens, but it seems to involve Randy drinking on a beach, claiming to be Survivor king and lots of nudity. I'm in.
See you next week on....Survivorfest!
During the recap section, Probst indicated that Ace's biggest enemy, Kellie, had been voted off. Really? Someone famous once said that a measure of a man can be judged by his enemies. I don't think that bodes well for Ace if Kellie is the best enemy he can come up with. I guess with a tribe like Fang, who needs enemas...er, enemies?
Speaking of Fang's ineptitude, Crystal's big contribution for the week was spilling two days worth of rice on the ground. This left them with about five days worth of rations. With Fang's continuing failure at rewards, CBS will need to merge the tribes shortly or risk losing a couple of people to starvation. Or cannibalism.
As a penance, Crystal abstained from eating a meal. Great, all she needed was another excuse to stink up a challenge.
At Kota, things were a little more laughs and giggles. Corinne related that her mom told her not to curse so much or people would think she's trashy. I don't think Corinne's mom reckoned with Michelle being part of the cast this year.
Dan evidently felt left out of the power faction of the tribe and moped around wishing they would include him more. It led Corinne to wonder if he was a "former fatty" that craved attention and inclusion. Either way, it doesn't look promising for Dan. Just sort of needy and pathetic.
The reward challenge was a game of keep away with a breakable ball. Three members of a tribe pass the basketball-sized ball, while a member of the other tribe would attempt to get them to drop the ball and break it. Each broken ball is a point, first team to three points wins.
For Kota, Corinne and Charlie sat out this challenge.
Randy won the first point for Kota almost immediately. He threw himself at the first person with the ball and that was pretty much that. I'm not sure the camera crew even had time to capture it.
Naturally Randy began his typical grunting and posturing: "It's over!" Turns out, he wasn't wrong.
Sugar groused "Randy is just an ugly person!"
In the second match-up, Sugar spent most of her time chasing the ball in a silly fashion. It looked more like flirting. It was so bad that Matty, who was playing keep away in the other match, stopped to yell at her to step things up. Eventually Fang ran out of luck and they lost their second point.
In the third match, Kota managed to take advantage of the ever-awful Ace to Sugar connection and completed the sweep.
Kota's reward was a luxury chopper ride to the savannah where the tribe enjoyed a wonderful picnic meal.
Turns out Bob is a romantic "The only thing beating faster than the rotors was the beating of my heart!"
Randy was...less so: "The best part of this reward is that they don't get any! They might even be completely out of rice!" How is this man not a high school guidance councilor? I can see how he'd be great to have at weddings: "You smeared her with cake?!? It's over!! It's over!! He'll be hitting on one of the bridesmaids by the end of the reception!"
After the picnic, Kota received letters from home. I'm curious to know who wrote Randy's letter. Was it from his dead dog? Maybe it was from CBS: Dear Randy, keep up the good work! Ratings show that you are now the third most despised Survivor in CBS history."
Bob completely broke down and turned into a blubbering idiot. You'd think that he just watched someone shoot a dozen puppies. The man was howling for gosh sakes!
For Fang, Sugar was sent back to Exile Island. Jeff indicated that it was unprecedented that she be sent there back-to-back-to-back...you get the point.
Back at camp Fang, the tribe had pretty well exhausted their bodies and spirits. Matty, who looks about two more days away from going "Lord of the Flies" was really unhappy with Sugar.
He's was pretty well pissed with everything, actually: "Kota in their goofy chopper, lavishing in their reward...It's maddening!"
He followed with "I don't think in my twenty-nine years of life I've ever been so embarrassed." Well, Matty, the good news is you're still young. You still have things like teenage kids, erectile dysfunction and incontinence to look forward to.
Matty took Ace on a boat ride to try to get him to vote the useless Sugar off. Ace wasn't having any, and stuck to his agreement to keep her around.
In the meantime, Crystal and Kenny took the subtle hint that they were being left out of the planning. They decided they needed to convince Sugar to align with them to blindside Ace.
At the reward challenge, Jeff indicated that both tribes would be heading to tribal council that evening. There would also be two individual immunity idols awarded, one for each tribe.
The challenge was a log roll. Players were matched into random pairs. First person to hit the water would be eliminated, the winner would advance to the next round.
Dan and Ace were paired first. Dan hit the water and Ace advanced.
Charlie and Crystal were next. I don't think Crystal even managed to make it onto the log before she was in the water. To me, it looked like Charlie even stood still to let her get on and try to get her balance.
Marcus and Matty. Close, but Matty fell and Marcus moved on.
Randy and Susie were next. Susie got wet.
Sugar and Kenny were paired. They were the two slowest. Both seemed content to sort of stand on the log, which might have been a good strategy. Kenny eventually fell off first.
Bob and Corinne were last. Bob indicated that he had won a log rolling competition in college. Corinne retorted "of course you did!" Bob showed off a little at first, whistling and putting his hands on his hips. Soon Corinne was in the drink.
Second round had Charlie and Ace. Charlie ended up hitting the water just slightly before Ace, to be eliminated.
Randy and Marcus faced off. Marcus advanced in a close match.
Sugar faced Bob, the log roller. Shockingly, she outlasted him. I guess slow and steady does win the race.
For the final, all three remaining contestants got on the log together. Ace was in the middle of Marcus and Sugar. I thought Ace was at a disadvantage since he couldn't see both of them, but he did well. Maybe just reacting to the shift of balance is the best way to go.
Sugar fell first, followed by Ace.
Marcus won immunity and two points for anyone who has him on their score sheet. He was required to pick the second immunity winner from the other tribe and selected Sugar.
The Suvivorfest score sheet indicates that two points will be awarded for each winner of individual immunity. Since Probst dictated that there would be two immunities awarded, Sugar will be given two points even though technically she was chosen to win, rather than actually winning by her own merit. I think there's a definable difference between this example and someone being given an idol to play or use.
Crystal: "Damn! She has two idols! She's the biggest player in the game!"
Kenny: "I will do anything in my power to get her to vote with me. She may be a pin-up girl, but she's very smart!"
Fang is truly a sucky tribe. Not only can they not win challenges, but one of the most feeble members (by perspective of her efforts during the challenges) was one of the best individual performers in the log rolling challenge and has two layers of immunity! Even their losers stink at being losers.
Ace tried to get Sugar to "lend" him the idol again, but she demurred. Kenny and Crystal appeared to be getting her to lean toward blindsiding her former Sugar-daddy.
At camp, Probst asked Sugar "it's been 21 days, what's going on at camp?" How the heck would she know? She's spent half of it at Exile Island eating fruit and sun-bathing!
Crystal was forced to rehash the rice dropping. Ace averred that "Crystal made a mistake...that's common." Even when he's trying to pass it off, he makes it sound like an insult. That's so cool.
Sugar indicated that everyone should put aside all the petty bullcrap and just try to get along. It's pretty easy to say that when you're well-fed and well-rested.
Matty is starting to look to me like Jack Nicholson at the end of "the Shining".
Ace learned the hard way that, while Sugar is sweet, too much can be bad for you. I'm surprised that Probst didn't drop that line. He'll probably kick himself after he reads this. As he left, he said "Thanks, Sugar." I must say, he took it like a man.
Crystal flashed him some type of gang symbols as he left. I think she used too many fingers.
Back at camp Kota, Dan is freaking out. He's clearly not getting a lot of face time with the power players and he isn't sure what to do besides follow Marcus around and whine.
Marcus: "Dan's a bumbling idiot."
Randy regarding Bob: "As annoying as he is, he's as loyal as the day is long."
Corinne went to recruit Susie to help them oust Dan. Susie then made approximately the sixth biggest mistake in Survivor history when she admitted that she was thinking of voting Corinne out that night before they had their little chat.
This sent Corinne over the edge: "This moron had decided it's time for me to go? I wanted to stab her in the face!" That's not technically trashy for those of you scoring at home. Corinne's mother must be so proud.
Randy, of course, had nothing but gasoline to throw on that fire and had Corinne so angry and worked up that I wondered if she might actually stab her in the face.
At council, Jeff asked Susie if she thought she was the weakest member of the tribe. Surprisingly, she said no. She thought Corinne was. Due to something odd about "upper body strength". She tried to recover, but the icy answers she got back from Corinne might as well have been a shiv to the face.
Dan was still wearing his lawyer tie to council. He clearly seemed uncomfortable with the thought of voting anyone off. Maybe he just isn't cut out for this game.
Dan was voted off in a close margin between him and Susie. I must admint I'm a little disappointed that I won't know whether Dan would have been wearing that silly tie all the way to the last tribal council. It would have looked great with his four-inch beard and crazy eyes.
I was surprised to see that Corinne had voted for Dan, but then it made sense. The tribe wasn't completely sure whether Dan had the hidden immunity idol since he spent the first few days on Exile Island as a member of Fang.
They voted in such a way that Dan would be removed if he didn't have or play the idol and, if he did, Susie would have been out.
I was amused to see that Susie looked pleased and relieved not to have been voted off. Don't get too comfortable, girl. If you survive the night, you may be enjoying a mojito at the resort soon.
Next week: I'm not sure what happens, but it seems to involve Randy drinking on a beach, claiming to be Survivor king and lots of nudity. I'm in.
See you next week on....Survivorfest!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Survivorfest week 5!
Kellie was, like, voted off and stuff.
Back from tribal council, Matty started pining for his girlfriend. And his dog. He started grinding out a ring for her...um, the girlfriend. I'm not sure what he was making the ring out of, but it sort of looked like a hunk of dung.
Matty and Ace decided it was time to work together. As part of their deal they each had their "bitches" that they would get to keep. Ace's was Sugar and Matty's was, well, Kenny.
I thought it was classy when they each had to swear on something sacred to them. Matty swore on his aforementioned girlfriend and Ace swore on Jonny Fairplay's dead grandmother. Just kidding.
Sugar volunteered to give Ace her idol. I really have to wonder what she was thinking. She almost seemed embarrassed to have the idol, especially since everyone seems to know. Heck, why not give it away? We'll see if this bold strategy pays off for her. Somewhere, Erik the idiot is yelling "Noooooooo! Don't do it!"
Ace took this turn of events with his typical humility "I went from a position of no power to a position of supremacy!" Does that mean he has Probst's job now?
Kelly seemed to have gravitated from using "dude" in every sentence to using "like". I suspect grammar teachers around the country are DVR'ing her to show to their students. "Do you really want to sound like this!?!"
Starvation was beginning to set in at Fang. You could almost see the palpable change in Kenny as he quit looking over at Kelly, thinking he'd like to score with her and now wondered what she'd be like with a side of beans and some fruit cocktail (smack, smack).
The reward challenge was for each team to carry a 200 pound snake around a track. First team to catch up to and tag the other won a bunch of food. All the reward challenges seem to be about food...I think CBS is really hoping for Fang to win so they can actually participate in the challenges.
Kota sat Corinne.
As they started out, Jeff was his typical helpful self "you're gonna get tired and you're gonna quit!" I wonder if he does motivational speaking in the off-season.
Sugar and Kenny dropped out first for Fang. Then Kellie. Fang sped up a little at this point.
Susie dropped out for Kota.
Fang had Matty, Ace and Crystal. Crystal, the Olympic athlete, was soon toast and dropped out. Poor Ace tried to keep up with Matty, but didn't have the stamina for it. The challenge was over pretty quick.
Randy exhorted "Not even close! Not even close!!" They should let Randy color commentate future challenges. He'd be fun.
While Kota enjoyed the fruits (actually Danishes) of their victory, Fang stood on and watched.
Kellie asked "Can you share?"
to which Randy replied "Nooooo." Then he gave her a view of some chewed food.
Crystal broke down in tears. Randy, ever the gentleman replied with "wah!" Yeah, he's my favorite.
Kota chose Sugar to head to Exile again. Where she started to cry. Evidently she felt guilty about having tons of food to eat and a nice hammock while her tribe starved. Don't fret, Sugar. Your tribe feels bad enough about that for all of you.
Randy's gloating got a lot of attention this week. I wonder if he's starting to tire of keeping to the background.
Randy: "I love to win challenges, but I especially love watching them lose!"
Crystal: "Randy is a troll. He's a troll under a bridge."
Crystal was concerned that her breakdown after the challenge might strike her tribe as a sign that she was becoming Coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs. She assured them "don't take my tears as a sign of weakness!" I rather think her pitiful challenge performances are a sign of weakness.
Crystal added "Kelly hasn't had two words to say to me since we got back and now she's gonna feel the wrath of Crystal." She confronted Ace and Kelly in the jungle and reiterated that she still had her game.
Crystal stepped up with this Survivor Hall of Fame quote: "Everyone gets depressed...Mine just comes out of my eyes!"
Back at Kota, Randy found a turtle. I suspected it wouldn't end well for the turtle...unless it was suicidal. Turns out Marcus knew just how to cook one. Yup. Scratch one turtle.
There are hippos in the water, too. I wonder if the tribes are allowed to kill and eat them. That would be an entertaining challenge in and of itself.
For the immunity challenge the tribes were broken up into three pairs each. They would travel through an obstacle course to get pipe shaped puzzle pieces and then assemble them.
Bob and Randy were paired. Randy was a little slow, but Bob is a whiz with knots.
Kellie and Sugar were paired, They were really quick through the course, but got held up at the knot portion. By the time they had to get back, they had lost a bit of ground.
Corinne and Charlie went next with Ace and Crystal. My wife thinks that Charlie is wearing pants from the show F-Troop. Those of you who didn't know what a 45 spacer was won't know this one, either.
It was pretty close for the next groups: Dan and Marcus and Kenny and Matty. Dan and Marcus were like a force of nature. I was surprised how quick Kenny was. He did a good job of keeping up with Matty, who is starting to remind me of a less talented Ozzy.
Kenny and Matty took a big lead by climbing over the obstacles instead of through them. You could almost hear Probst thinking "Damn! Gotta make that against the rules for next time."
Kota had a slight lead in getting all the pieces but it was close. Fang struggled with putting the pieces together. Ace actually called Crystal off, but couldn't complete the puzzle. Another loss for Fang.
Randy gloated again. I'm surprised someone hasn't punched him yet.
Back at camp Crystal let it out "Ace is a tyrant and a bully!"
Ace told us "I was was expecting more from Kelly" Really? Has he seen her at all in any of these challenges?
Ace and Matty discussed dropping Kelly. Matty doesn't think Kenny would have a problem with it. I suspect he'd be reluctant to part with his pretend hottie girlfriend.
Crystal wanted to argue because she really hates Ace. And Kelly. Frankly I don't think she likes anyone. She's probably wondering what would happen if she started putting Randy's name down at tribal council.
Sugar told Kenny that she gave the idol to Ace. Does this girl have any sense of how to play this game? She certainly appears to be going through without any semblance of a plan.
To counter the sinking feeling that she may have made a mistake (and probably from the sixty-five cell phone calls that Erik the idiot left for her) she asked Ace for the idol back. I don't think we've seen a re-gifting of the idol in Survivor history before.
At council Jeff wondered aloud where it all went wrong.
Matty replied with "we're cursed!"
Ace took the blame for the puzzle part of the challenge. Like him or hate him, you gotta admit that he has been playing this game with his own sense of style.
Crystal went after Kelly at council and the gloves were off. Kelly admitted she thought Crystal was too emotional and shouldn't have broken down in front of the other tribe.
Jeff clarified "She didn't say you were weak, just unstable" Crystal seemed okay with that.
Then Ace and Kelly got into it when she tried to drag him in to the fight with Crystal. "I'd be surprised if you understood half of what I was saying". Add a few more "dudes" and "likes" and I'm sure she will.
Kelly was voted out in a landslide, going back to this season's pattern of voting all the women out after taking a brief hiatus with GC.
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Back from tribal council, Matty started pining for his girlfriend. And his dog. He started grinding out a ring for her...um, the girlfriend. I'm not sure what he was making the ring out of, but it sort of looked like a hunk of dung.
Matty and Ace decided it was time to work together. As part of their deal they each had their "bitches" that they would get to keep. Ace's was Sugar and Matty's was, well, Kenny.
I thought it was classy when they each had to swear on something sacred to them. Matty swore on his aforementioned girlfriend and Ace swore on Jonny Fairplay's dead grandmother. Just kidding.
Sugar volunteered to give Ace her idol. I really have to wonder what she was thinking. She almost seemed embarrassed to have the idol, especially since everyone seems to know. Heck, why not give it away? We'll see if this bold strategy pays off for her. Somewhere, Erik the idiot is yelling "Noooooooo! Don't do it!"
Ace took this turn of events with his typical humility "I went from a position of no power to a position of supremacy!" Does that mean he has Probst's job now?
Kelly seemed to have gravitated from using "dude" in every sentence to using "like". I suspect grammar teachers around the country are DVR'ing her to show to their students. "Do you really want to sound like this!?!"
Starvation was beginning to set in at Fang. You could almost see the palpable change in Kenny as he quit looking over at Kelly, thinking he'd like to score with her and now wondered what she'd be like with a side of beans and some fruit cocktail (smack, smack).
Back at Kota, Dan was hogging all the food! Evidently he was starving or something. He probably should have taken a cue to slow down when everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at him.
At reward challenge when Jeff let Kota know that pimp GC has been voted off the previous day. Randy was so excited he even did a fist pump. It's nice that he can let his hatred of others transcend tribal boundaries.
The reward challenge was for each team to carry a 200 pound snake around a track. First team to catch up to and tag the other won a bunch of food. All the reward challenges seem to be about food...I think CBS is really hoping for Fang to win so they can actually participate in the challenges.
Kota sat Corinne.
As they started out, Jeff was his typical helpful self "you're gonna get tired and you're gonna quit!" I wonder if he does motivational speaking in the off-season.
Sugar and Kenny dropped out first for Fang. Then Kellie. Fang sped up a little at this point.
Susie dropped out for Kota.
Fang had Matty, Ace and Crystal. Crystal, the Olympic athlete, was soon toast and dropped out. Poor Ace tried to keep up with Matty, but didn't have the stamina for it. The challenge was over pretty quick.
Randy exhorted "Not even close! Not even close!!" They should let Randy color commentate future challenges. He'd be fun.
While Kota enjoyed the fruits (actually Danishes) of their victory, Fang stood on and watched.
Kellie asked "Can you share?"
to which Randy replied "Nooooo." Then he gave her a view of some chewed food.
Crystal broke down in tears. Randy, ever the gentleman replied with "wah!" Yeah, he's my favorite.
Kota chose Sugar to head to Exile again. Where she started to cry. Evidently she felt guilty about having tons of food to eat and a nice hammock while her tribe starved. Don't fret, Sugar. Your tribe feels bad enough about that for all of you.
Randy's gloating got a lot of attention this week. I wonder if he's starting to tire of keeping to the background.
Randy: "I love to win challenges, but I especially love watching them lose!"
Crystal: "Randy is a troll. He's a troll under a bridge."
Crystal was concerned that her breakdown after the challenge might strike her tribe as a sign that she was becoming Coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs. She assured them "don't take my tears as a sign of weakness!" I rather think her pitiful challenge performances are a sign of weakness.
Crystal added "Kelly hasn't had two words to say to me since we got back and now she's gonna feel the wrath of Crystal." She confronted Ace and Kelly in the jungle and reiterated that she still had her game.
Crystal stepped up with this Survivor Hall of Fame quote: "Everyone gets depressed...Mine just comes out of my eyes!"
Back at Kota, Randy found a turtle. I suspected it wouldn't end well for the turtle...unless it was suicidal. Turns out Marcus knew just how to cook one. Yup. Scratch one turtle.
There are hippos in the water, too. I wonder if the tribes are allowed to kill and eat them. That would be an entertaining challenge in and of itself.
For the immunity challenge the tribes were broken up into three pairs each. They would travel through an obstacle course to get pipe shaped puzzle pieces and then assemble them.
Bob and Randy were paired. Randy was a little slow, but Bob is a whiz with knots.
Kellie and Sugar were paired, They were really quick through the course, but got held up at the knot portion. By the time they had to get back, they had lost a bit of ground.
Corinne and Charlie went next with Ace and Crystal. My wife thinks that Charlie is wearing pants from the show F-Troop. Those of you who didn't know what a 45 spacer was won't know this one, either.
It was pretty close for the next groups: Dan and Marcus and Kenny and Matty. Dan and Marcus were like a force of nature. I was surprised how quick Kenny was. He did a good job of keeping up with Matty, who is starting to remind me of a less talented Ozzy.
Kenny and Matty took a big lead by climbing over the obstacles instead of through them. You could almost hear Probst thinking "Damn! Gotta make that against the rules for next time."
Kota had a slight lead in getting all the pieces but it was close. Fang struggled with putting the pieces together. Ace actually called Crystal off, but couldn't complete the puzzle. Another loss for Fang.
Randy gloated again. I'm surprised someone hasn't punched him yet.
Back at camp Crystal let it out "Ace is a tyrant and a bully!"
Ace told us "I was was expecting more from Kelly" Really? Has he seen her at all in any of these challenges?
Ace and Matty discussed dropping Kelly. Matty doesn't think Kenny would have a problem with it. I suspect he'd be reluctant to part with his pretend hottie girlfriend.
Crystal wanted to argue because she really hates Ace. And Kelly. Frankly I don't think she likes anyone. She's probably wondering what would happen if she started putting Randy's name down at tribal council.
Sugar told Kenny that she gave the idol to Ace. Does this girl have any sense of how to play this game? She certainly appears to be going through without any semblance of a plan.
To counter the sinking feeling that she may have made a mistake (and probably from the sixty-five cell phone calls that Erik the idiot left for her) she asked Ace for the idol back. I don't think we've seen a re-gifting of the idol in Survivor history before.
At council Jeff wondered aloud where it all went wrong.
Matty replied with "we're cursed!"
Ace took the blame for the puzzle part of the challenge. Like him or hate him, you gotta admit that he has been playing this game with his own sense of style.
Crystal went after Kelly at council and the gloves were off. Kelly admitted she thought Crystal was too emotional and shouldn't have broken down in front of the other tribe.
Jeff clarified "She didn't say you were weak, just unstable" Crystal seemed okay with that.
Then Ace and Kelly got into it when she tried to drag him in to the fight with Crystal. "I'd be surprised if you understood half of what I was saying". Add a few more "dudes" and "likes" and I'm sure she will.
Kelly was voted out in a landslide, going back to this season's pattern of voting all the women out after taking a brief hiatus with GC.
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Survivorfest week 4!
Week 4 and G-Sizzle pimps out!
Back from tribal council, Ace showed some character by thinking of Sugar. "She hasn't eaten in three days." It would have been more touching if she hadn't been lounging in the comfort shack, pigging out on fresh fruits and working on her tan.
True to form, he followed it up with "I've got Sugar in my pocket!" Probably some roaches, too.
When Sugar did return, she confessed to spending time in the "Sugar Shack". She said that she quit looking for the idol because it was too hard to find. Probably not a bright move. Maybe after the third time, but the second?
Kota was busy catching fish. Electric fish as it turned out. I was skeptical, but here's the proof: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electric_catfish
Matty found an elephant! I wondered if the tribe knew the signs of an angry elephant. I'm pretty sure ripping trees out of the ground and throwing them around might be one of them.
Matty and Ace took the kayak for a closer look. My oldest daughter: "Those guys are frickin' idiots!"
I wonder if the other members of Fang realized that it wouldn't have taken much to erase two members of their tribe. If Randy was still around he probably would have jumped up, screamed and thrown a pineapple or something. Then taunted the guys in the kayak as they were gored. Is it any wonder that he's my favorite?
The reward challenge was interesting. Members of the tribe were to throw pieces of fruit through a hole in a fence to a partner. Members of the other tribe guarded the holes with a bat. The tribe with the most fruit by weight would win the challenge.
Winner would get...an herb garden. What a lame prize. Of course Bob started pumping his fist. What a dweeb. He'd probably be psyched to get a rain gauge, too.
Of the "blockers" I think only Ace may have played baseball. He swung the club like he knew what he was doing. That is, until he took a melon to his melon and went down.
GC was pathetic as usual. His first two tosses looked like he was serving up pitches to Bob. I doubt the throws would have even made it through the hole.
Kota adapted quickly and started throwing two pieces of fruit. This was the difference and they won by a small margin.
I feel sorry for Ace. He continues to step up for the important parts of the challenges, does well, individually, and the tribe still manages to lose.
Sugar was sent back to Exile Island and her Sugar Shack. Dan indicated "you might as well forward her mail there. No strategy, just comedy."
Jeff told Sugar that she could probably show him the way to the Sugar Shack. What a flirt.
Back at camp, Charlie I noticed Charlie was wearing 70s shorts. Very tacky.
Randy: "Did I kick ass or what?"
Sugar at Exile seemed to be eating better quality fruit than what I can get at the store. "I am definitely happy...and fat!"
Back at camp, Fang is cracking up. GC seemed to be completely losing it. Ace seemed amused to watch the carnage.
Tree mail, and it turns out that Matty reads like a third grader. At least he's good at spotting elephants.
Just before the challenge, GC went missing. Perhaps he was trying to round up some ho's. Kellie wonders if maybe he was eaten by a monkey. That would have been awesome.
Kellie cracks me up. Every sentence she utters seems to start with the word "dude".
The challenge was to roll wicker balls down a hill while blind-folded blockers use shields to try to stop the balls from going into goals. Callers help the blockers.
Ace defended for Fang, and Dan for Kota. Sugar was Ace's caller and Randy was Dan's.
Jeff instructs Charlie and Matty to grab their balls and head up the hill. Ahem. Someone really should have said something.
Sugar clearly wasn't up to this challenge. Or maybe she just didn't like telling Ace what to do. I don't think I heard her speak during the entire challenge.
The coup de grace was when Ace took a shield to the face. He's having a rough week.
The last round came with Kota up one point. Dan stopped his ball and Ace was moving toward his when Randy yelled "freeze, Ace! Right there!" And he did. And Sugar just stood there and shrugged. What was she thinking? What was he thinking?
Jeff told Fang they were headed for tribal again. He seemed to be getting irritated with them. You know you're in trouble when Jeff tells you you suck.
Back at camp, G-Sizzle told Matty he wanted to quit. That's no way for a pimp to talk!
Ace to Sugar "At some point soon I may call on you to use the idol." He sounded like Vito Corleone.
While Ace and Sugar were conversing, the rest of the tribe took the opportunity to go through Sugar's bag and found the immunity idol.
Crystal blurted "That makes her the most dangerous person right now in this game!" Yup, Sugar = dangerous. Gives you cavities, too.
She attempted to rally the rest of the tribe to blindside Sugar while they had the chance.
At tribal, Sugar called out GC for wanting to quit.
Jeff probed some more...GC looked like he was ready to cry. Sugar then did. I suspect it's all that pomegranate juice leaking out of her eyes.
GC confided that he was voting for Kellie because "he had to vote for somebody" Man, he can't even quit the game right!
Despite Crystal's assertion that Sugar needed to be blindsided, GC was voted off. GC indicated that he had the utmost respect for anyone who played the game and walked in his shoes. After four weeks I don't think I would want any part of his shoes.
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Back from tribal council, Ace showed some character by thinking of Sugar. "She hasn't eaten in three days." It would have been more touching if she hadn't been lounging in the comfort shack, pigging out on fresh fruits and working on her tan.
True to form, he followed it up with "I've got Sugar in my pocket!" Probably some roaches, too.
When Sugar did return, she confessed to spending time in the "Sugar Shack". She said that she quit looking for the idol because it was too hard to find. Probably not a bright move. Maybe after the third time, but the second?
Kota was busy catching fish. Electric fish as it turned out. I was skeptical, but here's the proof: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Electric_catfish
Matty found an elephant! I wondered if the tribe knew the signs of an angry elephant. I'm pretty sure ripping trees out of the ground and throwing them around might be one of them.
Matty and Ace took the kayak for a closer look. My oldest daughter: "Those guys are frickin' idiots!"
I wonder if the other members of Fang realized that it wouldn't have taken much to erase two members of their tribe. If Randy was still around he probably would have jumped up, screamed and thrown a pineapple or something. Then taunted the guys in the kayak as they were gored. Is it any wonder that he's my favorite?
The reward challenge was interesting. Members of the tribe were to throw pieces of fruit through a hole in a fence to a partner. Members of the other tribe guarded the holes with a bat. The tribe with the most fruit by weight would win the challenge.
Winner would get...an herb garden. What a lame prize. Of course Bob started pumping his fist. What a dweeb. He'd probably be psyched to get a rain gauge, too.
Of the "blockers" I think only Ace may have played baseball. He swung the club like he knew what he was doing. That is, until he took a melon to his melon and went down.
GC was pathetic as usual. His first two tosses looked like he was serving up pitches to Bob. I doubt the throws would have even made it through the hole.
Kota adapted quickly and started throwing two pieces of fruit. This was the difference and they won by a small margin.
I feel sorry for Ace. He continues to step up for the important parts of the challenges, does well, individually, and the tribe still manages to lose.
Sugar was sent back to Exile Island and her Sugar Shack. Dan indicated "you might as well forward her mail there. No strategy, just comedy."
Jeff told Sugar that she could probably show him the way to the Sugar Shack. What a flirt.
Back at camp, Charlie I noticed Charlie was wearing 70s shorts. Very tacky.
Randy: "Did I kick ass or what?"
Sugar at Exile seemed to be eating better quality fruit than what I can get at the store. "I am definitely happy...and fat!"
Back at camp, Fang is cracking up. GC seemed to be completely losing it. Ace seemed amused to watch the carnage.
Tree mail, and it turns out that Matty reads like a third grader. At least he's good at spotting elephants.
Just before the challenge, GC went missing. Perhaps he was trying to round up some ho's. Kellie wonders if maybe he was eaten by a monkey. That would have been awesome.
Kellie cracks me up. Every sentence she utters seems to start with the word "dude".
The challenge was to roll wicker balls down a hill while blind-folded blockers use shields to try to stop the balls from going into goals. Callers help the blockers.
Ace defended for Fang, and Dan for Kota. Sugar was Ace's caller and Randy was Dan's.
Jeff instructs Charlie and Matty to grab their balls and head up the hill. Ahem. Someone really should have said something.
Sugar clearly wasn't up to this challenge. Or maybe she just didn't like telling Ace what to do. I don't think I heard her speak during the entire challenge.
The coup de grace was when Ace took a shield to the face. He's having a rough week.
The last round came with Kota up one point. Dan stopped his ball and Ace was moving toward his when Randy yelled "freeze, Ace! Right there!" And he did. And Sugar just stood there and shrugged. What was she thinking? What was he thinking?
Jeff told Fang they were headed for tribal again. He seemed to be getting irritated with them. You know you're in trouble when Jeff tells you you suck.
Back at camp, G-Sizzle told Matty he wanted to quit. That's no way for a pimp to talk!
Ace to Sugar "At some point soon I may call on you to use the idol." He sounded like Vito Corleone.
While Ace and Sugar were conversing, the rest of the tribe took the opportunity to go through Sugar's bag and found the immunity idol.
Crystal blurted "That makes her the most dangerous person right now in this game!" Yup, Sugar = dangerous. Gives you cavities, too.
She attempted to rally the rest of the tribe to blindside Sugar while they had the chance.
At tribal, Sugar called out GC for wanting to quit.
Jeff probed some more...GC looked like he was ready to cry. Sugar then did. I suspect it's all that pomegranate juice leaking out of her eyes.
GC confided that he was voting for Kellie because "he had to vote for somebody" Man, he can't even quit the game right!
Despite Crystal's assertion that Sugar needed to be blindsided, GC was voted off. GC indicated that he had the utmost respect for anyone who played the game and walked in his shoes. After four weeks I don't think I would want any part of his shoes.
See you next week on...Survivorfest!
Thursday, October 09, 2008
Survivorfest week 3
Jacque cries herself a river and floats out of the game.
She's the fourth straight female to be voted out of Survivor Gabon. Where's the love, girls? One more week of this and we'll need to rename this season Survivor Testosterone.
In the credits they made a point of rehashing G.C.'s feebleness. They also revealed that Kellie was the other person who voted for Ace in the last council. I wasn't sure, so I'm glad they clarified.
Ace related that going to tribal council was like having his wisdom teeth pulled. He was aware that Kellie voted for him and indicated that she would be the next lamb led to the slaughter (sluw-tuh). What a drama queen.
Ken looks like he's either been half-eaten by bugs or neglected to have some of his pre-African-trip shots. I think he's about ready for an appearance in a George Romero flick.
Randy is still irritated that half the food is gone and no one is interested in rationing. I suppose the others, unconcerned, have a point...I doubt CBS would let them starve.
Randy did chime in with a Survivor Hall of Fame quote: "We have a cancer and its name is G.C.!"
The strong Fang alliance is Randy, Dan, Matty and Susie. Susie is jazzed that she isn't likely to be voted out immediately. She'd probably enjoy it more if they would quit asking her to make up the rooms. Just kidding.
Jeff brings the tribes together to form a tribe ranking. Each tribe would indicate which position in the tribe each individual seems to have. Strongest members on one side, weakest on the other.
My daughter blurted "you never put yourself as number 1! Always number 3!" I asked her what you should do if you ARE the best. She indicated that in that case, number 2 was okay.
Kellie is listed as the weakest link in her tribe. She was not happy about it but after several challenges, she's had a chance to show them something.
Ace confided that she was the weakest in his opinion and he hates her to pieces. So much so, that he started dropping his fake British accent.
Crystal was listed as number 4 and was definitely pissed. Maybe she thought she should have been number three. I suspect the part when they had to drag her sorry butt up the hill the first day might have played into the ranking.
G.C was dead last for Fang and couldn't believe it! I can't blame him. I wouldn't be happy being rated behind Kenny.
G.C. blurted, and I'm not making this up, "Kenny picked before me!?! That's not good for a pimp!"
I may not be the most with it, or as all the cool kids would say..."hip"...but I can't figure out when and where being a pimp became something one should aspire to. At least in public. His mom must be so proud.
Jeff told the playas that they were going to pick new teams! The sound you just heard was the fall of the shortest alliance in Survivor history. Sorry, Fang.
Since Marcus and Matty were listed as top tribemates, they started the schoolyard pick.
Marc took Dan and Matty took Ace.
Dan chose Charlie and Ace chose Crystal. Charlie practically pranced over to his good pal Marcus. "Yeah! Marcus and I have each other's backs...I just LOVE Marcus!" Easy, there chief.
Charlie took Randy and Crystal took Jacque.
Randy took Corinne and Jacque chose Ken. I don't know why, but I got a sense of foreboding when Randy picked Corinne. I have a feeling he'll be sorry. We'll see...
Corrine picked Susie and Ken was left with Kellie, Sugar or G.C. I predicted he'd pick a girl. He had to. It may be his only chance to reproduce some day. Sure enough, he took Kellie. Why? "She's hot!" Do I know my pathetic losers or what?
Susie picked Bob. Poor Bob, almost last. How his stock has fallen since it became clear he was not the second coming of the Yau. Kellie, left with no other choice, picked "G-Sizzle". The pimp.
That left Sugar without a tribe to call her own. Jeff sent her off to Exile Island until someone else was voted off.
I felt that Ace should have tried harder to get Sugar picked for his team. After all they had such a tight, wonderful bond. Ah, well. What do you expect from a non-pimp, fake-accent smarmy guy.
I felt a little sorry for Sugar. Relegated to Exile Island when she already had the idol. That is, until I remembered that she could choose "comfort". She spent the day lounging in a hammock, eating fruit and sunning.
Randy kept the one liners coming "If they vote me off I'll burn the camp down!"
Awesome. Kellie and Jacque are in the same tribe. I can't tell the two of them apart. They should have to wear name tags for the first six weeks.
Kellie related that she's a salesperson and can "even change my personality and act like things." Like...a chair? Maybe a toaster? Both would have been more use that her in some of the previous challenges.
Ken continued to impress (not). Referring to his choice of Kellie: "I knew I could sway her to my side. Plus she's hot!"
My daughter weighed in with "I think he has some problems. He's not strategetic." Indeed.
Tree mail brings a lacrosse stick to camp. Corinne noted "It's a lacrosse stick...oh, crap!" I often have that reaction to lacrosse sticks.
Marcus seemed to know how to use one. As you might recall from his bio, I called him Biff. Score.
Randy keeps 'em coming: "I will do my best despite hating each and every one of you." This man is unstoppable. He's already one of my top ten favorite Survivors. The rest of the tribe just laughed..."Oh, Randy! You so crazy!"
The immunity challenge was raft lacrosse. First team to three would win immunity.
It's over almost immediately. I don't even think Fang got a stick on the ball. Here's a nice summary: Marcus to Randy into the net.
Kellie and Crystal did little more than spin around.
Ken looked like he was baling out a toilet.
Ace gave it a game effort and actually came close to the ball.
G.C. was nowhere to be found.
Later Ace indicated that they were like "legless chickens against sleek weasels." I'm speechless. I don't think I could come up with a metaphor that twisted with a whole week's notice. I guess it was a simile. I've never been much good at those.
Jeff summed it up with: "That was one of the worst performances I've ever seen."
Back at camp G.C. had the nerve to tell Ken "Kenny you SUCKED out there!" Pot, kettle, black.
I'm appalled that G.C., one of the biggest losers this season, seems to be leading his tribe. What is wrong here? Must be some type of magic pimp aura.
The power play of GC, Crystal, Ken and Matty were reluctant to vote out Kellie, even though she seemed to be weakest. They were concerned that Jacque was tight with Ace and that, assuming Sugar had the hidden immunity idol, Ace would have an advantage. Well, at least they're giving it some thought.
Matty's was not sure he liked the idea, since Jacque is a strong player. He indicated that they were going to vote Susie out next previously, why not stick with that strategy. Huh? What happened to the great four person alliance, Matty?
Jacque found out about the plan and confronted Ken. Ken, it turns out, is a lousy liar. Jacque had him flipped pretty much at the word go. He warned her that his vote meant nothing though and Jacque would have to talk to Crystal.
Jacque pulled Crystal aside and pledged her undying loyalty to her. Even squeezed out a few tears. Crying? There's no crying in Survivor! It's outwit, outlast, outwhine now?
At tribal council Jeff stirred the pot again. He asked Kellie if there was anyone weaker than her in the last challenge. She called out Ken and Crystal.
Crystal, the Olympic athlete, did not take kindly to this "I couldn't control the boat! I was in the game, just not as much as I usually do!"
In all fairness, she was spinning her boat in tighter circles and grousing about being unable to move more than anyone else.
Ken told Jeff that they needed more physical players, so Kellie and Jacque should be the most worried about getting the boot. Um. Ken, I'm pretty sure either one could kick your scrawny little ass.
The votes went in, and although Kellie had a few, Jacque was eliminated.
Next week: Animals attack and pimp G.C. goes missing! See you on the next...Survivorfest!
She's the fourth straight female to be voted out of Survivor Gabon. Where's the love, girls? One more week of this and we'll need to rename this season Survivor Testosterone.
In the credits they made a point of rehashing G.C.'s feebleness. They also revealed that Kellie was the other person who voted for Ace in the last council. I wasn't sure, so I'm glad they clarified.
Ace related that going to tribal council was like having his wisdom teeth pulled. He was aware that Kellie voted for him and indicated that she would be the next lamb led to the slaughter (sluw-tuh). What a drama queen.
Ken looks like he's either been half-eaten by bugs or neglected to have some of his pre-African-trip shots. I think he's about ready for an appearance in a George Romero flick.
Randy is still irritated that half the food is gone and no one is interested in rationing. I suppose the others, unconcerned, have a point...I doubt CBS would let them starve.
Randy did chime in with a Survivor Hall of Fame quote: "We have a cancer and its name is G.C.!"
The strong Fang alliance is Randy, Dan, Matty and Susie. Susie is jazzed that she isn't likely to be voted out immediately. She'd probably enjoy it more if they would quit asking her to make up the rooms. Just kidding.
Jeff brings the tribes together to form a tribe ranking. Each tribe would indicate which position in the tribe each individual seems to have. Strongest members on one side, weakest on the other.
My daughter blurted "you never put yourself as number 1! Always number 3!" I asked her what you should do if you ARE the best. She indicated that in that case, number 2 was okay.
Kellie is listed as the weakest link in her tribe. She was not happy about it but after several challenges, she's had a chance to show them something.
Ace confided that she was the weakest in his opinion and he hates her to pieces. So much so, that he started dropping his fake British accent.
Crystal was listed as number 4 and was definitely pissed. Maybe she thought she should have been number three. I suspect the part when they had to drag her sorry butt up the hill the first day might have played into the ranking.
G.C was dead last for Fang and couldn't believe it! I can't blame him. I wouldn't be happy being rated behind Kenny.
G.C. blurted, and I'm not making this up, "Kenny picked before me!?! That's not good for a pimp!"
I may not be the most with it, or as all the cool kids would say..."hip"...but I can't figure out when and where being a pimp became something one should aspire to. At least in public. His mom must be so proud.
Jeff told the playas that they were going to pick new teams! The sound you just heard was the fall of the shortest alliance in Survivor history. Sorry, Fang.
Since Marcus and Matty were listed as top tribemates, they started the schoolyard pick.
Marc took Dan and Matty took Ace.
Dan chose Charlie and Ace chose Crystal. Charlie practically pranced over to his good pal Marcus. "Yeah! Marcus and I have each other's backs...I just LOVE Marcus!" Easy, there chief.
Charlie took Randy and Crystal took Jacque.
Randy took Corinne and Jacque chose Ken. I don't know why, but I got a sense of foreboding when Randy picked Corinne. I have a feeling he'll be sorry. We'll see...
Corrine picked Susie and Ken was left with Kellie, Sugar or G.C. I predicted he'd pick a girl. He had to. It may be his only chance to reproduce some day. Sure enough, he took Kellie. Why? "She's hot!" Do I know my pathetic losers or what?
Susie picked Bob. Poor Bob, almost last. How his stock has fallen since it became clear he was not the second coming of the Yau. Kellie, left with no other choice, picked "G-Sizzle". The pimp.
That left Sugar without a tribe to call her own. Jeff sent her off to Exile Island until someone else was voted off.
I felt that Ace should have tried harder to get Sugar picked for his team. After all they had such a tight, wonderful bond. Ah, well. What do you expect from a non-pimp, fake-accent smarmy guy.
I felt a little sorry for Sugar. Relegated to Exile Island when she already had the idol. That is, until I remembered that she could choose "comfort". She spent the day lounging in a hammock, eating fruit and sunning.
Randy kept the one liners coming "If they vote me off I'll burn the camp down!"
Awesome. Kellie and Jacque are in the same tribe. I can't tell the two of them apart. They should have to wear name tags for the first six weeks.
Kellie related that she's a salesperson and can "even change my personality and act like things." Like...a chair? Maybe a toaster? Both would have been more use that her in some of the previous challenges.
Ken continued to impress (not). Referring to his choice of Kellie: "I knew I could sway her to my side. Plus she's hot!"
My daughter weighed in with "I think he has some problems. He's not strategetic." Indeed.
Tree mail brings a lacrosse stick to camp. Corinne noted "It's a lacrosse stick...oh, crap!" I often have that reaction to lacrosse sticks.
Marcus seemed to know how to use one. As you might recall from his bio, I called him Biff. Score.
Randy keeps 'em coming: "I will do my best despite hating each and every one of you." This man is unstoppable. He's already one of my top ten favorite Survivors. The rest of the tribe just laughed..."Oh, Randy! You so crazy!"
The immunity challenge was raft lacrosse. First team to three would win immunity.
It's over almost immediately. I don't even think Fang got a stick on the ball. Here's a nice summary: Marcus to Randy into the net.
Kellie and Crystal did little more than spin around.
Ken looked like he was baling out a toilet.
Ace gave it a game effort and actually came close to the ball.
G.C. was nowhere to be found.
Later Ace indicated that they were like "legless chickens against sleek weasels." I'm speechless. I don't think I could come up with a metaphor that twisted with a whole week's notice. I guess it was a simile. I've never been much good at those.
Jeff summed it up with: "That was one of the worst performances I've ever seen."
Back at camp G.C. had the nerve to tell Ken "Kenny you SUCKED out there!" Pot, kettle, black.
I'm appalled that G.C., one of the biggest losers this season, seems to be leading his tribe. What is wrong here? Must be some type of magic pimp aura.
The power play of GC, Crystal, Ken and Matty were reluctant to vote out Kellie, even though she seemed to be weakest. They were concerned that Jacque was tight with Ace and that, assuming Sugar had the hidden immunity idol, Ace would have an advantage. Well, at least they're giving it some thought.
Matty's was not sure he liked the idea, since Jacque is a strong player. He indicated that they were going to vote Susie out next previously, why not stick with that strategy. Huh? What happened to the great four person alliance, Matty?
Jacque found out about the plan and confronted Ken. Ken, it turns out, is a lousy liar. Jacque had him flipped pretty much at the word go. He warned her that his vote meant nothing though and Jacque would have to talk to Crystal.
Jacque pulled Crystal aside and pledged her undying loyalty to her. Even squeezed out a few tears. Crying? There's no crying in Survivor! It's outwit, outlast, outwhine now?
At tribal council Jeff stirred the pot again. He asked Kellie if there was anyone weaker than her in the last challenge. She called out Ken and Crystal.
Crystal, the Olympic athlete, did not take kindly to this "I couldn't control the boat! I was in the game, just not as much as I usually do!"
In all fairness, she was spinning her boat in tighter circles and grousing about being unable to move more than anyone else.
Ken told Jeff that they needed more physical players, so Kellie and Jacque should be the most worried about getting the boot. Um. Ken, I'm pretty sure either one could kick your scrawny little ass.
The votes went in, and although Kellie had a few, Jacque was eliminated.
Next week: Animals attack and pimp G.C. goes missing! See you on the next...Survivorfest!
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Survivorfest week 2!
Paloma is served!
This marks the third straight female that was voted out this season.
I noticed that in the beginning that the narrator says "18 Americans compete..." Ironic that two of them have accents. Some of the folks were wondering about Ace and whether his accent was phony. I tend to agree with them...it sounds practiced.
Last week Gillian was voted out of what Jeff indicated might be "the worst tribe of all time". I'm not sure about that. I seem to recall a tribe that lost every challenge until there was only one member left.
Randy weighed in with his thoughts on Fang: "I shouldn't blame them for being complete idiots...but they are!" Keep this up, Randy, and you're a shoe-in for Survivor Favorites in another four years.
Fang is running out of food! After only a few days they're down to less than half their original allotment of rice. G.C. blurted out that on the first day he threw away nearly half a pot of rice. What? What idiot would do that? And then fess up to it?
Randy, though he may be anti-social, at least seemed to have a handle on reality. He suggested that the tribe forgo the superfluous third meal in order to conserve rations. G.C. didn't seem to care for that idea. I guess he figures with his idol that he's going to be around for the long haul and needs to save his strength. He certainly hasn't been wasting it on the challenges.
G.C. attempted to get Randy to take on the mantle of leadership, but Randy wasn't that dumb.
Back at Coda, Sugar indicated that she trusts Ace: "he'll take care of me as well as he can." Ace confided to Bob that Sugar "is loyal". How in the world can these two tell that after a couple of days and no tribal councils? What's gone on with these two that we don't know about?
The reward challenge was one of my personal favorites. The pole grabbing game! Two members of one tribe attempt to tear a member of the other tribe away from a pole and drag them across the finish line. First team to do this twice wins reward of blankets, sleep items and other comfort.
Did anyone else notice Bob digging away at his teeth and gums? He should have a dental warning notice scrolling under him: "Kids...3 out of 4 dentists recommend that you do not dig at your gums with a foreign object". I wonder what in the world he could have stuck between his teeth?
Ace and Dan started out hanging onto the poles for their respective teams. Ace actually looked bored.
Dan was dragged off first as G.C. gave up trying to extract Ace. This is the second challenge that G.C. gave up on. He has my vote for team Tin Man (no heart).
Next round had Susie and Paloma on the poles. Ace decided Paloma should grab the pole for this round. I suspect it was because she probably already had a few years of experience with poles in her previous career as a dancer. I probably just made that up.
Paloma indicated that she was "the smallest person in the world" and suspected that Ace was trying to expose her as a weak link on the tribe. She was probably correct as she was extracted in almost record time. Randy helped by yelling "You're done! You're done!" as they dragged her over the finish line. Nice.
Ace and Dan grabbed the pole for round three. This time Fang used Crystal instead of G.C...because she probably has more testosterone. Ace held on for a long time, but couldn't hold it forever. After a mighty struggle Ace was pulled across the line, his pants around his ankles. Challenge and dignity lost! Fang is officially not the worst tribe ever!
Fang chose to send Sugar to Exile Island, to which she replied "they think I'm dumb but they haven't talked to me yet."
At Exile. Sugar chose to look for the idol rather than taking the comfort option.
Anyone notice that she wears a 45-record spacer on a chain around her neck? Okay, fess up...how many of you out there are too young to know what a 45 spacer is? How many of you have never played a 45? Next season of Survivorfest I need to put in a 10 point bonus for people old enough to know these things.
In fairness to Dan, the last visitor to Exile, I think Sugar had a map as the second visitor to Exile. In any case, she was able to find the sandy area that Dan spent all day looking for. From there she quickly found several other clues. After a quick traipse through the river and an attack by albino ants she had the hidden immunity idol and won points for everyone who had her on their score sheet. By the looks of it, it seems like that would be only me.
"I can't believe I found it and the lawyer didn't!" Indeed.
Sugar came back from Exile and hid the idol. Wise move, keeping the dumb act going. It seemed to work, as she didn't appear to even go through the typical "Did you find it?" "You liar, we know you found it!" "Really, you didn't find it?" "She soooo found it!" routine.
The Immunity challenge was a giant slip 'n' slide! Players would slide into the river to get pieces to a math puzzle. Bob and Ken were held out as the puzzle solvers.
Crystal hit the slide hard enough to crack her teeth. Ouch!
Corinne went down head first and actually stuck on the slide. I thought silicon was supposed to be slippery! 'Cause she was wearing a bikini...and you know...silicon...oh, never mind.
Ace went for style points, sliding on his front, then back, then front again.
Surfer boy Matty hit the slide like a torpedo. Yahoo!
Coda was ahead until Susie took her turn. She lost a significant lead. Not good news for her if Coda loses.
Both Ken and Bob struggled with the puzzle. Ken finally got it on the third try. Bob continued to scowl at it like it was a mystery of the university.
I take back any comparisons between Bob and Yau-Man. The Yau would've solved it.
The tribe seemed to begin to turn on Paloma. She stated "I'm like an animal in the wild...I'm gonna wait and then pounce!" Actually I think she said "prounce". Not sure what that means. Might be a cross between "pounce" and "prance". It's probably a waitress thing when there's an extra large tip on the table.
Corinne continued her bitchiness "I dislike so many people on the whole damn tribe...it's a toss-up."
At council, Jeff stirred things up with Paloma and Ace..."So, Ace is clearly not your hero?"
He followed up with "So, Paloma, you and Ace sound like you were brother and sister in another life."
Paloma: "Yeah, maybe in another world...like a thousand years from now, when I'm dead!" Oooookay. Hopefully we all won't have to wait that long.
Jeff went to tally (re-shuffle) the votes.
Paloma was voted out, with only one ally. I couldn't tell if Jacque or Kelly also voted for Ace. Currently they both look an awful lot alike to me.
I found it funny that Paloma's vote for Ace had a big smiley face on it and the vote that sent her out had a frowny face.
The Survivorfest page is up to date! http://www.woltermanns.com/Survivorfest/Survivorfest3.htm
See you next week on....Survivorfest!
This marks the third straight female that was voted out this season.
I noticed that in the beginning that the narrator says "18 Americans compete..." Ironic that two of them have accents. Some of the folks were wondering about Ace and whether his accent was phony. I tend to agree with them...it sounds practiced.
Last week Gillian was voted out of what Jeff indicated might be "the worst tribe of all time". I'm not sure about that. I seem to recall a tribe that lost every challenge until there was only one member left.
Randy weighed in with his thoughts on Fang: "I shouldn't blame them for being complete idiots...but they are!" Keep this up, Randy, and you're a shoe-in for Survivor Favorites in another four years.
Fang is running out of food! After only a few days they're down to less than half their original allotment of rice. G.C. blurted out that on the first day he threw away nearly half a pot of rice. What? What idiot would do that? And then fess up to it?
Randy, though he may be anti-social, at least seemed to have a handle on reality. He suggested that the tribe forgo the superfluous third meal in order to conserve rations. G.C. didn't seem to care for that idea. I guess he figures with his idol that he's going to be around for the long haul and needs to save his strength. He certainly hasn't been wasting it on the challenges.
G.C. attempted to get Randy to take on the mantle of leadership, but Randy wasn't that dumb.
Back at Coda, Sugar indicated that she trusts Ace: "he'll take care of me as well as he can." Ace confided to Bob that Sugar "is loyal". How in the world can these two tell that after a couple of days and no tribal councils? What's gone on with these two that we don't know about?
The reward challenge was one of my personal favorites. The pole grabbing game! Two members of one tribe attempt to tear a member of the other tribe away from a pole and drag them across the finish line. First team to do this twice wins reward of blankets, sleep items and other comfort.
Did anyone else notice Bob digging away at his teeth and gums? He should have a dental warning notice scrolling under him: "Kids...3 out of 4 dentists recommend that you do not dig at your gums with a foreign object". I wonder what in the world he could have stuck between his teeth?
Ace and Dan started out hanging onto the poles for their respective teams. Ace actually looked bored.
Dan was dragged off first as G.C. gave up trying to extract Ace. This is the second challenge that G.C. gave up on. He has my vote for team Tin Man (no heart).
Next round had Susie and Paloma on the poles. Ace decided Paloma should grab the pole for this round. I suspect it was because she probably already had a few years of experience with poles in her previous career as a dancer. I probably just made that up.
Paloma indicated that she was "the smallest person in the world" and suspected that Ace was trying to expose her as a weak link on the tribe. She was probably correct as she was extracted in almost record time. Randy helped by yelling "You're done! You're done!" as they dragged her over the finish line. Nice.
Ace and Dan grabbed the pole for round three. This time Fang used Crystal instead of G.C...because she probably has more testosterone. Ace held on for a long time, but couldn't hold it forever. After a mighty struggle Ace was pulled across the line, his pants around his ankles. Challenge and dignity lost! Fang is officially not the worst tribe ever!
Fang chose to send Sugar to Exile Island, to which she replied "they think I'm dumb but they haven't talked to me yet."
At Exile. Sugar chose to look for the idol rather than taking the comfort option.
Anyone notice that she wears a 45-record spacer on a chain around her neck? Okay, fess up...how many of you out there are too young to know what a 45 spacer is? How many of you have never played a 45? Next season of Survivorfest I need to put in a 10 point bonus for people old enough to know these things.
In fairness to Dan, the last visitor to Exile, I think Sugar had a map as the second visitor to Exile. In any case, she was able to find the sandy area that Dan spent all day looking for. From there she quickly found several other clues. After a quick traipse through the river and an attack by albino ants she had the hidden immunity idol and won points for everyone who had her on their score sheet. By the looks of it, it seems like that would be only me.
"I can't believe I found it and the lawyer didn't!" Indeed.
Sugar came back from Exile and hid the idol. Wise move, keeping the dumb act going. It seemed to work, as she didn't appear to even go through the typical "Did you find it?" "You liar, we know you found it!" "Really, you didn't find it?" "She soooo found it!" routine.
The Immunity challenge was a giant slip 'n' slide! Players would slide into the river to get pieces to a math puzzle. Bob and Ken were held out as the puzzle solvers.
Crystal hit the slide hard enough to crack her teeth. Ouch!
Corinne went down head first and actually stuck on the slide. I thought silicon was supposed to be slippery! 'Cause she was wearing a bikini...and you know...silicon...oh, never mind.
Ace went for style points, sliding on his front, then back, then front again.
Surfer boy Matty hit the slide like a torpedo. Yahoo!
Coda was ahead until Susie took her turn. She lost a significant lead. Not good news for her if Coda loses.
Both Ken and Bob struggled with the puzzle. Ken finally got it on the third try. Bob continued to scowl at it like it was a mystery of the university.
I take back any comparisons between Bob and Yau-Man. The Yau would've solved it.
The tribe seemed to begin to turn on Paloma. She stated "I'm like an animal in the wild...I'm gonna wait and then pounce!" Actually I think she said "prounce". Not sure what that means. Might be a cross between "pounce" and "prance". It's probably a waitress thing when there's an extra large tip on the table.
Corinne continued her bitchiness "I dislike so many people on the whole damn tribe...it's a toss-up."
At council, Jeff stirred things up with Paloma and Ace..."So, Ace is clearly not your hero?"
He followed up with "So, Paloma, you and Ace sound like you were brother and sister in another life."
Paloma: "Yeah, maybe in another world...like a thousand years from now, when I'm dead!" Oooookay. Hopefully we all won't have to wait that long.
Jeff went to tally (re-shuffle) the votes.
Paloma was voted out, with only one ally. I couldn't tell if Jacque or Kelly also voted for Ace. Currently they both look an awful lot alike to me.
I found it funny that Paloma's vote for Ace had a big smiley face on it and the vote that sent her out had a frowny face.
The Survivorfest page is up to date! http://www.woltermanns.com/Survivorfest/Survivorfest3.htm
See you next week on....Survivorfest!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Survivorfest 3 - week 1
And they're off! The show, that is.
Michelle is voted off first, quickly followed by Gillian. No one had Michelle as a "Loveable Loser" but plenty of us had Gillian pegged for an early exit. So close, so close.
I've updated the main Survivorfest3 page with the current scores for each Survivor (I'll tidy up the page later): http://www.woltermanns.com/Survivorfest/Survivorfest3.htm
My thoughts on week 1 of...Survivorfest3!
GC related that, as a young man, he'd "done some things" he's not proud of. I like the sound of that. With any luck he'll end up having to do a few more before the show is over.
Randy shared "I'm against marriage. I'll never get married...I'm almost sure of it." After reading your bio, I think we can all be pretty sure of that, Randy.
Corinne let's us know that "I'm going to be a bitch...and I'm going to hurt someone and when someone cries, I'll laugh." Ooooooh, I like her. I wish she was my pharmaceutical sales representative.
Gillian and Bob, being the oldest of our Survivors, are selected to choose tribes in a schoolyard pick. Frankly, I think Gillian is old enough to get to choose the first pick for both sides.
To see who goes first, Bob and Gillian play "rock paper scissors". Bob, the physics teacher, wins this challenge and chooses first. He probably had an entire semester of college on winning at that game.
The last person chosen is Michelle. I guess everyone knows trash when they smell it.
The first challenge is a race. The first two tribe members to reach the top win individual immunity. The first tribe to have all members reach the top first receives food reward.
You know it's got to be hot there. Just standing around Probst had a nice set of pit stains going.
You'd think Crystal, as an OLYMPIC SPRINTER, might have done well on this challenge. Alas, she ran out of gas halfway up the hill and had to have her sorry ass dragged the rest of the way, long after the other tribe had reached the top.
Her excuse? "I was wearing a dress and my shoes weigh about ten pounds!" I may not know Olympics, but I know when someone is out of shape. And why in the world to women still wear dresses to their first day of Survivor? Hasn't any of these people seen the show?
G.C. and Marcus rush ahead and win the respective immunity idols and 2 points each for anyone who has them on their game sheet.
Gillian also struggled mightily making it to the top, marking her as an almost certain liability in any physical challenges.
As Matty so adroitly put it "Gillian will be a huge, huge, huge load to carry."
The two new tribes headed back to their respective camps to find abandoned, damaged shelters in place. Bob quickly took the lead in getting the roofs repaired.
"Well, I'm from Maine and that's what we do in Maine." You build huts?
Seems like Bob might be this season's answer to Yau-Man.
Back at camp Fang (pronounced "fong") Gillian tries to rah rah the troops to almost immediate scorn. When Probst tells you that you got smoked in a challenge, you'd better believe it.
Already I think the Fang tribe is screwed.
First blur displayed was to cover Randy's foul mouth, but it doesn't count toward the game. Nice to see that Randy is only in Gabon for a day and he's already dropping F-bombs.
Gillian takes some time to educate her tribe on the topic of elephant dung, also to immediate scorn. Man, this is a tough crowd. I can't recall who it was, but one of the guys said "you wanna see my dung? It's interesting too!"
Ken started hanging out with Michelle and was eventually able to get her to eat a termite.
We have our first nudity-related blur! Anyone who "X"ed Michelle gets 5 points.
Ken, the poor schmoe, is obviously smitten with Michelle. This can't work out well for him.
Ace takes a moment to tell us that he is "the full package". He's brilliant, scheming and an incredible athlete. It'll be curious to see what he looks like in a few weeks when his hair starts growing out.
Charlie, the gay lawyer, is already smitten with Marcus. "He picked me! With those deep, blue, beautiful eyes!" Somehow I don't think this is going to work out for Charlie, either.
Marcus, clearly not very comfortable: "I'm not into Charlie...This may be the Garden of Eden, but there's no two Adams here".
That night at camp, Randy manages to crack his noggin on a branch. With blood gushing, he asks Nurse Gillian for help. To this she replies "I can't see a thing". She then offers us her best advice that you'd be best served to be careful and don't let yourself get hurt. I think that's the old equivalent of the Marxx brother's routine: "Doctor, doctor it hurts when I do this!" "Well, then stop doing that!"
Randy gets real medical help from the Survivor medics and runs the first risk of a life-threatening infection. Plus he got a really cool head bandage to wear.
The next morning Michelle seems to have had enough. She's cold ("why is Africa cold?") and irritable and everyone else in her tribe is stupid. Good start to day two, Michelle.
Ace leads a combined meditation routine for his tribe leading to the first challenge, to only partial scorn and ridicule.
Any idea what Sugar was wearing over her outfit? It looked like a maze-patterned potato sack.
First challenge tied 6 people together and sent them through an obstacle course. They find puzzle pieces that the remaining three have to solve.
The first leg of the course is a jaunt through a leech-infested swamp. Yes! Leeches!
The Coda tribe leapt out to a quick lead. After a few moments of digging for the puzzle peice bag, G.C. quit to take a nice break and watch the other tribe finish well ahead of them. Probst took a moment to chew them out for lack of effort and being, in general, quite pitiful.
Randy on Gillian: "nothing against 60 year old women...just don't come to my camp!" Umm...sounds like you have something against them, Randy.
Back at camp, Ken relates to Michelle that she's "on the outs". As I would have expected, this takes Michelle completely by surprise. Imagine that no one finds an irritable, complaining loner endearing.
"Really!?! These are the dumbest people....they're, like, retarded!"
At tribal council, Probst twisted the knife a little. "Not did you get destroyed in the challenge, but you're in denial about it!"
I love the fact that Dan, the lawyer, wore a tie to tribal council. It'll be interesting to see how long that lasts. I'm thinking by week 6 we'll be lucky if he's still wearing pants.
Probst told them that they lack leadership and tried to get someone to step up. G.C. said "I think it would be a good idea to have someone to look up to...and to vote out in three weeks." Okay, I made that last part up. But you know he was thinking it.
The rest of the tribe sensed blood and "elected" G.C. as tribe leader. G.C. was actually fighting back tears at that point. They weren't tears of joy, either.
The votes go in and, judging by Ken's expression....yes! Michelle is voted out! Poor Ken will never have a pretend girlfriend at this rate!
After council, Probst gave them fire and sent them back. Kinda made the other tribe winning fire as part of the challenge a bit less meaningful. I guess they must think these guys are real losers.
Back at the other camp Marcus and Charlie start working up an alliance. Marcus confides that it's like layers of an onion. And he wants more layers. I think what he was saying is that he wants more layers between him and Charlie. He made sure to bring in the two hot chicks.
Back at camp Fang, things keep getting better! G.C. spent one day as leader then resigned.
Randy begins operation "let other people crash and burn". This dude comes as advertised!
In preparing for the next challenge, Dan talked his tribe into using war paint. Dan is a face-painter...who knew?
Unfortunately they did nothing to shore up their general pitifulness, so now they will lose and look extra silly afterward.
Anyone else think that Randy, in his war paint, looked like Batman?
The next challenge was to push a large, fake boulder through gates, picking up keys. The keys would unlock a final gate where the tribe would roll the boulder into a cradle to complete the challenge.
Paloma sat this one out to keep the teams even. Notice that she's not getting any camera time?
Almost immediately into the challenge G.C. tells Gillian to get out of the way so someone can push. This still doesn't help and Coda moved on to another victory.
Coda selected Dan to go to Exile Island, giving him first shot at finding hidden immunity.
Coda received fishing supplies and quickly began bringing in protein. I'm impressed to note that Sugar is willing and able to scale and de-bone fish. Might be more to her than I thought, although I'm not sure that's difficult.
On Exile, Dan is given the choice of comfort and food or the opportunity to look for the idol. He chooses idol and began a fruitless (literally) search for it.
Back at Fang, the tribe showed some signs of life by making fishing gear out of glasses, shoe laces and other material. I always wondered why tribes didn't try that. Nice to see some life in them.
Dan returns for tribal council. Everyone immediately assumes he has the idol. He turned over his bag and exclaimed "I don't lie!". Umm. Aren't you a lawyer, Dan? Hmm. We'll see how well the no lying thing works for him later on.
At council Dan's got his tie on again.
I think Matty looks like "Heat Miser" from that claymation Christmas special. I'll have to find a good picture and add him to my Celebrity Look-A-Like page: http://www.woltermanns.com/Survivorfest/Survivor_celebrity.htm
Gillian is voted out, to no one's surprise. I wonder if she could have argued that she should have stayed on a technicality since almost nobody spelled her name correctly. I'm 90 percent sure that G.C. misspelled Michelle earlier (Mishell).
It's a wild first week of Survivorfest! Feel free to post any comments you have to this blog.
See you next week on....Survivorfest!
Michelle is voted off first, quickly followed by Gillian. No one had Michelle as a "Loveable Loser" but plenty of us had Gillian pegged for an early exit. So close, so close.
I've updated the main Survivorfest3 page with the current scores for each Survivor (I'll tidy up the page later): http://www.woltermanns.com/Survivorfest/Survivorfest3.htm
My thoughts on week 1 of...Survivorfest3!
GC related that, as a young man, he'd "done some things" he's not proud of. I like the sound of that. With any luck he'll end up having to do a few more before the show is over.
Randy shared "I'm against marriage. I'll never get married...I'm almost sure of it." After reading your bio, I think we can all be pretty sure of that, Randy.
Corinne let's us know that "I'm going to be a bitch...and I'm going to hurt someone and when someone cries, I'll laugh." Ooooooh, I like her. I wish she was my pharmaceutical sales representative.
Gillian and Bob, being the oldest of our Survivors, are selected to choose tribes in a schoolyard pick. Frankly, I think Gillian is old enough to get to choose the first pick for both sides.
To see who goes first, Bob and Gillian play "rock paper scissors". Bob, the physics teacher, wins this challenge and chooses first. He probably had an entire semester of college on winning at that game.
The last person chosen is Michelle. I guess everyone knows trash when they smell it.
The first challenge is a race. The first two tribe members to reach the top win individual immunity. The first tribe to have all members reach the top first receives food reward.
You know it's got to be hot there. Just standing around Probst had a nice set of pit stains going.
You'd think Crystal, as an OLYMPIC SPRINTER, might have done well on this challenge. Alas, she ran out of gas halfway up the hill and had to have her sorry ass dragged the rest of the way, long after the other tribe had reached the top.
Her excuse? "I was wearing a dress and my shoes weigh about ten pounds!" I may not know Olympics, but I know when someone is out of shape. And why in the world to women still wear dresses to their first day of Survivor? Hasn't any of these people seen the show?
G.C. and Marcus rush ahead and win the respective immunity idols and 2 points each for anyone who has them on their game sheet.
Gillian also struggled mightily making it to the top, marking her as an almost certain liability in any physical challenges.
As Matty so adroitly put it "Gillian will be a huge, huge, huge load to carry."
The two new tribes headed back to their respective camps to find abandoned, damaged shelters in place. Bob quickly took the lead in getting the roofs repaired.
"Well, I'm from Maine and that's what we do in Maine." You build huts?
Seems like Bob might be this season's answer to Yau-Man.
Back at camp Fang (pronounced "fong") Gillian tries to rah rah the troops to almost immediate scorn. When Probst tells you that you got smoked in a challenge, you'd better believe it.
Already I think the Fang tribe is screwed.
First blur displayed was to cover Randy's foul mouth, but it doesn't count toward the game. Nice to see that Randy is only in Gabon for a day and he's already dropping F-bombs.
Gillian takes some time to educate her tribe on the topic of elephant dung, also to immediate scorn. Man, this is a tough crowd. I can't recall who it was, but one of the guys said "you wanna see my dung? It's interesting too!"
Ken started hanging out with Michelle and was eventually able to get her to eat a termite.
We have our first nudity-related blur! Anyone who "X"ed Michelle gets 5 points.
Ken, the poor schmoe, is obviously smitten with Michelle. This can't work out well for him.
Ace takes a moment to tell us that he is "the full package". He's brilliant, scheming and an incredible athlete. It'll be curious to see what he looks like in a few weeks when his hair starts growing out.
Charlie, the gay lawyer, is already smitten with Marcus. "He picked me! With those deep, blue, beautiful eyes!" Somehow I don't think this is going to work out for Charlie, either.
Marcus, clearly not very comfortable: "I'm not into Charlie...This may be the Garden of Eden, but there's no two Adams here".
That night at camp, Randy manages to crack his noggin on a branch. With blood gushing, he asks Nurse Gillian for help. To this she replies "I can't see a thing". She then offers us her best advice that you'd be best served to be careful and don't let yourself get hurt. I think that's the old equivalent of the Marxx brother's routine: "Doctor, doctor it hurts when I do this!" "Well, then stop doing that!"
Randy gets real medical help from the Survivor medics and runs the first risk of a life-threatening infection. Plus he got a really cool head bandage to wear.
The next morning Michelle seems to have had enough. She's cold ("why is Africa cold?") and irritable and everyone else in her tribe is stupid. Good start to day two, Michelle.
Ace leads a combined meditation routine for his tribe leading to the first challenge, to only partial scorn and ridicule.
Any idea what Sugar was wearing over her outfit? It looked like a maze-patterned potato sack.
First challenge tied 6 people together and sent them through an obstacle course. They find puzzle pieces that the remaining three have to solve.
The first leg of the course is a jaunt through a leech-infested swamp. Yes! Leeches!
The Coda tribe leapt out to a quick lead. After a few moments of digging for the puzzle peice bag, G.C. quit to take a nice break and watch the other tribe finish well ahead of them. Probst took a moment to chew them out for lack of effort and being, in general, quite pitiful.
Randy on Gillian: "nothing against 60 year old women...just don't come to my camp!" Umm...sounds like you have something against them, Randy.
Back at camp, Ken relates to Michelle that she's "on the outs". As I would have expected, this takes Michelle completely by surprise. Imagine that no one finds an irritable, complaining loner endearing.
"Really!?! These are the dumbest people....they're, like, retarded!"
At tribal council, Probst twisted the knife a little. "Not did you get destroyed in the challenge, but you're in denial about it!"
I love the fact that Dan, the lawyer, wore a tie to tribal council. It'll be interesting to see how long that lasts. I'm thinking by week 6 we'll be lucky if he's still wearing pants.
Probst told them that they lack leadership and tried to get someone to step up. G.C. said "I think it would be a good idea to have someone to look up to...and to vote out in three weeks." Okay, I made that last part up. But you know he was thinking it.
The rest of the tribe sensed blood and "elected" G.C. as tribe leader. G.C. was actually fighting back tears at that point. They weren't tears of joy, either.
The votes go in and, judging by Ken's expression....yes! Michelle is voted out! Poor Ken will never have a pretend girlfriend at this rate!
After council, Probst gave them fire and sent them back. Kinda made the other tribe winning fire as part of the challenge a bit less meaningful. I guess they must think these guys are real losers.
Back at the other camp Marcus and Charlie start working up an alliance. Marcus confides that it's like layers of an onion. And he wants more layers. I think what he was saying is that he wants more layers between him and Charlie. He made sure to bring in the two hot chicks.
Back at camp Fang, things keep getting better! G.C. spent one day as leader then resigned.
Randy begins operation "let other people crash and burn". This dude comes as advertised!
In preparing for the next challenge, Dan talked his tribe into using war paint. Dan is a face-painter...who knew?
Unfortunately they did nothing to shore up their general pitifulness, so now they will lose and look extra silly afterward.
Anyone else think that Randy, in his war paint, looked like Batman?
The next challenge was to push a large, fake boulder through gates, picking up keys. The keys would unlock a final gate where the tribe would roll the boulder into a cradle to complete the challenge.
Paloma sat this one out to keep the teams even. Notice that she's not getting any camera time?
Almost immediately into the challenge G.C. tells Gillian to get out of the way so someone can push. This still doesn't help and Coda moved on to another victory.
Coda selected Dan to go to Exile Island, giving him first shot at finding hidden immunity.
Coda received fishing supplies and quickly began bringing in protein. I'm impressed to note that Sugar is willing and able to scale and de-bone fish. Might be more to her than I thought, although I'm not sure that's difficult.
On Exile, Dan is given the choice of comfort and food or the opportunity to look for the idol. He chooses idol and began a fruitless (literally) search for it.
Back at Fang, the tribe showed some signs of life by making fishing gear out of glasses, shoe laces and other material. I always wondered why tribes didn't try that. Nice to see some life in them.
Dan returns for tribal council. Everyone immediately assumes he has the idol. He turned over his bag and exclaimed "I don't lie!". Umm. Aren't you a lawyer, Dan? Hmm. We'll see how well the no lying thing works for him later on.
At council Dan's got his tie on again.
I think Matty looks like "Heat Miser" from that claymation Christmas special. I'll have to find a good picture and add him to my Celebrity Look-A-Like page: http://www.woltermanns.com/Survivorfest/Survivor_celebrity.htm
Gillian is voted out, to no one's surprise. I wonder if she could have argued that she should have stayed on a technicality since almost nobody spelled her name correctly. I'm 90 percent sure that G.C. misspelled Michelle earlier (Mishell).
It's a wild first week of Survivorfest! Feel free to post any comments you have to this blog.
See you next week on....Survivorfest!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
Survivorfest - week 14 - the finale
Parvarti flirts her way past Amanda into a cool million!
Congratulations to all of our winners, especially our top money winner Mike Bonham at $130!
My thoughts on the finale of the sixteenth season of Survivor:
Fresh from blindsiding the hapless Erik, the coven celebrated with a group cackle. They simply could not believe that Erik would be that stupid. Evidently they don't read my blog, either.
They remarked that the men kept falling for the same trick over and over again. I think that's been the case since the beginning of time. It's in our nature.
Natalie tried bonding with Parvarti. I wonder if Parv remembered the "flossing my teeth with his jugular" comment. That's one of those comments that should stick with a person...
At the immunity challenge Probst noted that the women appeared to "feel good about themselves." Yeah, I would say so.
The challenge was for each of the players to sit atop of pillar and drip water from a pail into a bamboo tube to float a key up to their platform. The key would then be used to unlock a set of shaped rungs that fit in a particular way on a ladder. The first one up the ladder would win immunity.
Natalie filled her tube first and hit the water. I would have enjoyed having man-eating sharks waiting for her. Ah, well. Maybe next season.
Soon, all three were at work on the ladder. For some reason Natalie had a blur on the right side of her chest. No idea what that is about. Maybe she has a nasty mole or something. Or maybe a Jeff Probst tattoo. Why can't they let us in on these things?
I wonder if Probst ever gets a cell phone call when he's giving color commentary...
"And Amanda's the first to reach the...er...um...yeah, I want the red one...oh, Natalie fell off the...no, not cherry red, the other one..."
Amanda won the challenge and immunity. You know the rest of the competition sucks when Amanda wins a challenge.
Afterward, Cirie was busting Amanda's chops: "the only reason you beat me is 'cause your legs are longer than mine!" Uh huh.
Back at camp the women decided to let the remaining chicken, Gloria, go. Natalie indicated that Gloria should find a male rooster and that if she's like any of the rest of the females on the island she'll mate with him and then rip out his throat. Again, the others should really be writing this stuff down so they remember later.
Walking to tribal council, Natalie grabbed Parvarti's ass! What is up with this season!?!
As the jury filed in, they were still laughing at Erik.
Oh, and Ozzie is still pissed.
Probst made a passing hint that this season would see the final be between two Survivors and not three.
After this, Cirie made a remark about being at the bottom of the alliance between Amanda and Parvarti. Amanda took exception to this and it started an argument between the two.
Strangely, Amanda didn't want to give up immunity. I guess there is only one Erik.
Speaking of Erik, he seemed to be paying a lot more attention to what was going on now that he was a member of the jury. Maybe he was just thinking about ice cream.
Natalie was voted out, the last fan standing.
Back at camp, Amanda and Cirie were at it again. I agree with Cirie...Amanda and Parvarti seemed really tight, and Cirie had a chance to stand up for Amanda earlier and didn't want the vote to go to a tie.
Parvarti looked on in a glazed sort of way and Amanda broke down crying. Evidently the back to back seasons were catching up on her.
Her primary worry became the though of another immunity challenge and another tribal council. Which led to this:
Parvarti: "There's no way there is a final two"
Cirie: "Don't say that 'cause you're always wrong."
As the night crept in, Cirie wondered "Did you find that machete? All that yelling made me thirsty." I halfway suspect Natalie has it.
The next day the ladies were sent to the typical hike to honor those that were voted off before them. And the promise of another immunity challenge to bring the remaining vote to just two players. At this point Amanda broke down.
A winner-take-all-immunity to get to the jury vote! Is it too much to hope that it's mud wrestling?
Some people really hate the walk-through where the remaining members honor the previously voted off Survivors, but I enjoy it. My favorite part is when they get to someone that everyone hated but they feel compelled to say something nice, like "ahhhh, Jean-Robert...! You were, umm...quite a competitor!"
I also enjoy the revisionist history sound bite that they use. I'll point one out in a moment.
Here are some of the clips that struck me as interesting or amusing:
First out was Fairplay: "I consider myself the cerebral assassin." To me that means he kills the intelligent thinking process. I would agree.
Mary was disappointed to have been voted out very early on and to have been blindsided, to boot. She still doesn't understand why.
Yau-Man out with class and dignity. So rare in reality TV these days.
Mikey B. - He's going to have to get another goofy, random tattoo to account for his time on the show.
Joel is still pissed about getting voted off before Chet. The last shot of him lying, senseless and covered with sand in a beached long boat was priceless. He looked like a three-day-old corpse.
Chet: "I went out in a beautiful way." This would be the revisionist history bit I referred to earlier. Chet, you quit. Your tribe begged you to stay on and you wouldn't do it. On the bright side, you were good with the chickens.
Kathleen still seemed like a mental wreck. Don't expect to see her on another Survivor favorites show.
Eliza's video clips reminded me of Gollum from Lord of the Rings..
Ozzy is still pissed.
Jason was proud to have been just as good a competitor and a provider as Ozzy. I wonder if he's as proud of going out the same way.
Erik: "[Survivor] opened my eyes to the way women work and operate." Just one word for you Erik...boobies!
Natalie: "Right now I'm my biggest fan." I think it's a fan club of one, Nat.
The final challenge was an endurance challenge where the players were to hold a stick horizontally and try to keep a ball in place on a groove in the top. The challenge would be in five minute increments, after which additional bars would be placed on the stick, making it harder to hold steady.
Probst warned that the challenge would require strict concentration. I figured that would have Amanda out early since she would likely be distracted by the first shiny object that caught her eye.
After two rounds, Parvarti lost her marble. Down to Cirie and Amanda.
Cirie, being a surgical nurse, would seem to have an advantage, but I came to a stunning conclusion...the ball was a shiny metal object! Amanda could stare vacantly at it for hours...
This seemed to be the determining factor as Cirie eventually lost her grip and the challenge, sending Amanda to an unprecedented back-to-back immunity win. Probst had to make whistling noises and flash some tin foil in her line of vision to get Amanda to let go of the bar.
Back to camp. Both Cirie and Parvarti did their best to convince Amanda to keep them in the game. At this point it seemed like kind of a toss-up...both have bad blood with the jury. Both were in pretty much the same blindsides...didn't appear to be much to choose from. Parvarti seemed pretty confident, though.
Amanda also seemed to think that Cirie would be more convincing to the jury than Parvarti.
I figured Cirie was out because of the following:
1. Parv stood by her when Amanda was to get voted out (blindside of Alexis due to the hidden immunity idol) and Cirie didn't want to take a chance on getting kicked out due to a tie vote.
2. Cirie was my last person and this season, while entertaining, hasn't been kind to me from a monetary standpoint.
At tribal council Amanda whined about winning immunity: "it's like a blessing and a curse!" A quick shot to Erik and you could almost hear him thinking "winning immunity didn't do much for me, either!"
More whining ensued, followed by much eye-rolling by Eliza and Erik.
Amanda cast the only vote, and Cirie was done.
In her post-exit synopsis she apologized to her family for falling short of the million dollars. Smelled like an effort at the $100k Survivor favorite vote, to me.
So we're down to Amanda and Parvarti. If someone had told me that this Season would have ended with these two being the only ones left I would have insisted on pre-Survivorfest drug screening.
At the jury council:
As the jury strolled in, it seemed to me that most of them were gazing adoringly at Amanda and that most of them were glaring at Parvarti. That's probably a bad sign for someone.
Probst asked each of the jury to address Amanda and Parv and ask any questions they had. Here are some of the notable ones (paraphrasing, slightly):
Eliza had no question to ask. To Parvarti she said: "You're a bitch and I hate you!"
To Amanda she said "you spent most of the season with a vacant look on your face...was that an act? You disgust me!"
And then she sat down. All she needed was to add a "we haaaaatessss them, don't we preeeeecioussss?"
Alexis stepped up on her soapbox, indicating that her work revolved around young girls and asked why each thought they were a role model to young women. Um. It's Outwit, Outlast and Outplay...I don't remember anything about being a good role-model. Role models don't make for good reality TV.
Natalie asked how Parvarti's flirting translated from her Survivor game into the bedroom. This just about brought down the house. Even Probst didn't quite know what to make of it. Natalie just kept going on about the flirting and the relationship they had. Kinda made me wonder if it was a coming out party for her.
Erik told Amanda that she was like a big sister...or a cousin. He then proceeded to rip her for being so mean to him at his last two tribal councils.
James seemed to think that Amanda had it "in the bag". He asked Parvarti if she felt like talking smack about her work this season. She replied with "you mean like, Hah hah, I got you sucka!" Guess the honeymoon is over for those two.
My favorite was Ozzy. "I may be the biggest idiot here." In fairness, I think we all agreed it was Erik.
He then went on to have what can only be described as a "Billy moment".
To Parvarti (paraphrasing) "You're a bitch and I hate you."
To Amanda "I loooooooove you!" Extra slobbering omitted.
I thought he was going to propose to her right there. At least someone would've asked a question!
My wife pointed out that, since Ozzy was in love with Amanda, then Erik (Ozzy Jr.) would almost certainly vote for her as well. This turned out to be the case, as Erik indicated he was filling to forgive and forget.
Eliza went to cast her vote and agonized over it for several minutes. I thought that Probst was going to have to call her down. She clearly couldn't decide whether to vote for someone she loathed (Parvarti) and someone she didn't respect (Amanda).
The votes were tallied and Parvarti won by two votes. I think this was a fitting conclusion to one of the wildest Survivor season ever.
I've had a great time blogging all of this. I hope you enjoyed the ranting and the game. I'll be in touch for the third installment of Survivorfest in the fall for anyone who wants to give it another shot.
Congratulations to all of our winners, especially our top money winner Mike Bonham at $130!
My thoughts on the finale of the sixteenth season of Survivor:
Fresh from blindsiding the hapless Erik, the coven celebrated with a group cackle. They simply could not believe that Erik would be that stupid. Evidently they don't read my blog, either.
They remarked that the men kept falling for the same trick over and over again. I think that's been the case since the beginning of time. It's in our nature.
Natalie tried bonding with Parvarti. I wonder if Parv remembered the "flossing my teeth with his jugular" comment. That's one of those comments that should stick with a person...
At the immunity challenge Probst noted that the women appeared to "feel good about themselves." Yeah, I would say so.
The challenge was for each of the players to sit atop of pillar and drip water from a pail into a bamboo tube to float a key up to their platform. The key would then be used to unlock a set of shaped rungs that fit in a particular way on a ladder. The first one up the ladder would win immunity.
Natalie filled her tube first and hit the water. I would have enjoyed having man-eating sharks waiting for her. Ah, well. Maybe next season.
Soon, all three were at work on the ladder. For some reason Natalie had a blur on the right side of her chest. No idea what that is about. Maybe she has a nasty mole or something. Or maybe a Jeff Probst tattoo. Why can't they let us in on these things?
I wonder if Probst ever gets a cell phone call when he's giving color commentary...
"And Amanda's the first to reach the...er...um...yeah, I want the red one...oh, Natalie fell off the...no, not cherry red, the other one..."
Amanda won the challenge and immunity. You know the rest of the competition sucks when Amanda wins a challenge.
Afterward, Cirie was busting Amanda's chops: "the only reason you beat me is 'cause your legs are longer than mine!" Uh huh.
Back at camp the women decided to let the remaining chicken, Gloria, go. Natalie indicated that Gloria should find a male rooster and that if she's like any of the rest of the females on the island she'll mate with him and then rip out his throat. Again, the others should really be writing this stuff down so they remember later.
Walking to tribal council, Natalie grabbed Parvarti's ass! What is up with this season!?!
As the jury filed in, they were still laughing at Erik.
Oh, and Ozzie is still pissed.
Probst made a passing hint that this season would see the final be between two Survivors and not three.
After this, Cirie made a remark about being at the bottom of the alliance between Amanda and Parvarti. Amanda took exception to this and it started an argument between the two.
Strangely, Amanda didn't want to give up immunity. I guess there is only one Erik.
Speaking of Erik, he seemed to be paying a lot more attention to what was going on now that he was a member of the jury. Maybe he was just thinking about ice cream.
Natalie was voted out, the last fan standing.
Back at camp, Amanda and Cirie were at it again. I agree with Cirie...Amanda and Parvarti seemed really tight, and Cirie had a chance to stand up for Amanda earlier and didn't want the vote to go to a tie.
Parvarti looked on in a glazed sort of way and Amanda broke down crying. Evidently the back to back seasons were catching up on her.
Her primary worry became the though of another immunity challenge and another tribal council. Which led to this:
Parvarti: "There's no way there is a final two"
Cirie: "Don't say that 'cause you're always wrong."
As the night crept in, Cirie wondered "Did you find that machete? All that yelling made me thirsty." I halfway suspect Natalie has it.
The next day the ladies were sent to the typical hike to honor those that were voted off before them. And the promise of another immunity challenge to bring the remaining vote to just two players. At this point Amanda broke down.
A winner-take-all-immunity to get to the jury vote! Is it too much to hope that it's mud wrestling?
Some people really hate the walk-through where the remaining members honor the previously voted off Survivors, but I enjoy it. My favorite part is when they get to someone that everyone hated but they feel compelled to say something nice, like "ahhhh, Jean-Robert...! You were, umm...quite a competitor!"
I also enjoy the revisionist history sound bite that they use. I'll point one out in a moment.
Here are some of the clips that struck me as interesting or amusing:
First out was Fairplay: "I consider myself the cerebral assassin." To me that means he kills the intelligent thinking process. I would agree.
Mary was disappointed to have been voted out very early on and to have been blindsided, to boot. She still doesn't understand why.
Yau-Man out with class and dignity. So rare in reality TV these days.
Mikey B. - He's going to have to get another goofy, random tattoo to account for his time on the show.
Joel is still pissed about getting voted off before Chet. The last shot of him lying, senseless and covered with sand in a beached long boat was priceless. He looked like a three-day-old corpse.
Chet: "I went out in a beautiful way." This would be the revisionist history bit I referred to earlier. Chet, you quit. Your tribe begged you to stay on and you wouldn't do it. On the bright side, you were good with the chickens.
Kathleen still seemed like a mental wreck. Don't expect to see her on another Survivor favorites show.
Eliza's video clips reminded me of Gollum from Lord of the Rings..
Ozzy is still pissed.
Jason was proud to have been just as good a competitor and a provider as Ozzy. I wonder if he's as proud of going out the same way.
Erik: "[Survivor] opened my eyes to the way women work and operate." Just one word for you Erik...boobies!
Natalie: "Right now I'm my biggest fan." I think it's a fan club of one, Nat.
The final challenge was an endurance challenge where the players were to hold a stick horizontally and try to keep a ball in place on a groove in the top. The challenge would be in five minute increments, after which additional bars would be placed on the stick, making it harder to hold steady.
Probst warned that the challenge would require strict concentration. I figured that would have Amanda out early since she would likely be distracted by the first shiny object that caught her eye.
After two rounds, Parvarti lost her marble. Down to Cirie and Amanda.
Cirie, being a surgical nurse, would seem to have an advantage, but I came to a stunning conclusion...the ball was a shiny metal object! Amanda could stare vacantly at it for hours...
This seemed to be the determining factor as Cirie eventually lost her grip and the challenge, sending Amanda to an unprecedented back-to-back immunity win. Probst had to make whistling noises and flash some tin foil in her line of vision to get Amanda to let go of the bar.
Back to camp. Both Cirie and Parvarti did their best to convince Amanda to keep them in the game. At this point it seemed like kind of a toss-up...both have bad blood with the jury. Both were in pretty much the same blindsides...didn't appear to be much to choose from. Parvarti seemed pretty confident, though.
Amanda also seemed to think that Cirie would be more convincing to the jury than Parvarti.
I figured Cirie was out because of the following:
1. Parv stood by her when Amanda was to get voted out (blindside of Alexis due to the hidden immunity idol) and Cirie didn't want to take a chance on getting kicked out due to a tie vote.
2. Cirie was my last person and this season, while entertaining, hasn't been kind to me from a monetary standpoint.
At tribal council Amanda whined about winning immunity: "it's like a blessing and a curse!" A quick shot to Erik and you could almost hear him thinking "winning immunity didn't do much for me, either!"
More whining ensued, followed by much eye-rolling by Eliza and Erik.
Amanda cast the only vote, and Cirie was done.
In her post-exit synopsis she apologized to her family for falling short of the million dollars. Smelled like an effort at the $100k Survivor favorite vote, to me.
So we're down to Amanda and Parvarti. If someone had told me that this Season would have ended with these two being the only ones left I would have insisted on pre-Survivorfest drug screening.
At the jury council:
As the jury strolled in, it seemed to me that most of them were gazing adoringly at Amanda and that most of them were glaring at Parvarti. That's probably a bad sign for someone.
Probst asked each of the jury to address Amanda and Parv and ask any questions they had. Here are some of the notable ones (paraphrasing, slightly):
Eliza had no question to ask. To Parvarti she said: "You're a bitch and I hate you!"
To Amanda she said "you spent most of the season with a vacant look on your face...was that an act? You disgust me!"
And then she sat down. All she needed was to add a "we haaaaatessss them, don't we preeeeecioussss?"
Alexis stepped up on her soapbox, indicating that her work revolved around young girls and asked why each thought they were a role model to young women. Um. It's Outwit, Outlast and Outplay...I don't remember anything about being a good role-model. Role models don't make for good reality TV.
Natalie asked how Parvarti's flirting translated from her Survivor game into the bedroom. This just about brought down the house. Even Probst didn't quite know what to make of it. Natalie just kept going on about the flirting and the relationship they had. Kinda made me wonder if it was a coming out party for her.
Erik told Amanda that she was like a big sister...or a cousin. He then proceeded to rip her for being so mean to him at his last two tribal councils.
James seemed to think that Amanda had it "in the bag". He asked Parvarti if she felt like talking smack about her work this season. She replied with "you mean like, Hah hah, I got you sucka!" Guess the honeymoon is over for those two.
My favorite was Ozzy. "I may be the biggest idiot here." In fairness, I think we all agreed it was Erik.
He then went on to have what can only be described as a "Billy moment".
To Parvarti (paraphrasing) "You're a bitch and I hate you."
To Amanda "I loooooooove you!" Extra slobbering omitted.
I thought he was going to propose to her right there. At least someone would've asked a question!
My wife pointed out that, since Ozzy was in love with Amanda, then Erik (Ozzy Jr.) would almost certainly vote for her as well. This turned out to be the case, as Erik indicated he was filling to forgive and forget.
Eliza went to cast her vote and agonized over it for several minutes. I thought that Probst was going to have to call her down. She clearly couldn't decide whether to vote for someone she loathed (Parvarti) and someone she didn't respect (Amanda).
The votes were tallied and Parvarti won by two votes. I think this was a fitting conclusion to one of the wildest Survivor season ever.
I've had a great time blogging all of this. I hope you enjoyed the ranting and the game. I'll be in touch for the third installment of Survivorfest in the fall for anyone who wants to give it another shot.
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